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Millennials Only Have a 5 To 6 Second Attention Span For Ads (cnbc.com) 174

Reader schwit1 writes: If you're an advertiser who wants to market a product to millennials, you're going to have to make it quick. A new study by comScore revealed online ads targeted toward millennials have to be around 5 to 6 seconds to be effective, a sharp contrast from the traditional 30-second commercial seen on TV. "The length of time of an episode or a viewing period is really important and has got to be short, otherwise you just won't keep the attention of millennials," comScore CEO Gian Fulgoni told CNBC's "Squawk Alley." The format of advertising may have to be radically changed to reach millennials, he suggested. "You're going to have to make your case literally in a matter of seconds and make sure you grab somebody's attention, Fulgoni said.
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Millennials Only Have a 5 To 6 Second Attention Span For Ads

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  • by Anonymous Coward

    T&A

    • Why would they have ads for my Time and Attendance system? Oh, you meant THAT T&A! Never mind.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    As far as I'm concerned, you get 15 seconds. If your ads aren't over in 15 seconds and my video hasn't started yet, I'm clicking away.

    • by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:22PM (#54856401)

      As far as I'm concerned, you get nothing. I block ALL ads.

      • by Highdude702 ( 4456913 ) on Saturday July 22, 2017 @07:18AM (#54857221)

        I didn't used to block all ads, but than they started hiding content behind them and the malicious ads and all of the other horrible shit the ad companies allow.. Now I figure fuck them and their money. I used to have no issue with ads on a page I was viewing but as soon as you think you can be abusive with them.. All bets are off.

        • by apoc.famine ( 621563 ) <apoc.famine@gm[ ].com ['ail' in gap]> on Saturday July 22, 2017 @08:11AM (#54857387) Journal

          I've been here for a looooong time. After midnight in a quiet lab, somewhere around 1999. Hopped over to Yahoo, and I got a blaring Chevy Silverado ad. Auto-play flash, full volume. It was right then that I began figuring out how to disable flash and do click-to-play. That quickly lead into adblocking as well, and that's history. I do not suffer abusive relationships.
           
          Since then, I've been immensely happy with my web experience. When I try to use other people's machines, it just hurts. The pop-ups, adware, browser hijacks....I don't know how they can actually live like that. It's the digital equivalent of a meth making trailer park run by carnies.

      • by dk20 ( 914954 )

        I also block all ads.

        We have a local newspaper where i live, i pay the "voluntary" $6 a week for the paper. I do this for two reasons:
        1) i want to read those ads, they are all local companies and i want to see what grocery deals there are available, etc.
        2) i like to support the young kids getting up and doing somethign with their time.

        I dont mind some ads, but just because it is basically "free" to the advertiser doesnts give them a right to saturate me with them.

    • by grim4593 ( 947789 ) on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:22PM (#54856405)
      I've been induated with ads for so long that I automatically phase them out unless it is something I am interested in. On ad spammy sites like click through articles I don't even see ad banners anymore. For unskippable video ads I just move over to another browser tab until it is over.
      • I've been induated (sic) with ads for so long that I automatically phase them out unless it is something I am interested in. On ad spammy sites like click through articles I don't even see ad banners anymore. For unskippable video ads I just move over to another browser tab until it is over.

        If you use Firefox, may I recommend NoScript? Your brain does a great job at filtering what you see, but your computer is not designed to filter the way you like it to and bad things can and do happen inside of the operating system.

        Don't just focus on the visual abuse, pay some attention to the computational abuse too. NoScript can help with that.

    • I'm the oldest of the age-range that technically counts as a millennial, and for the most part, I think the article's number is about right. 6 seconds is plenty of time to tell me about your product and why I want it. 15 seconds is the cusp of frustration, and if you dare bother me for 30 seconds or longer on product information that i didn't actively request, then I will potentially actively avoid your product when otherwise, I might consider it. 30 second spots made sense in the 50s when there was just a
  • by intellitech ( 1912116 ) on Friday July 21, 2017 @10:58PM (#54856327)

    ..is around 5 to 6 seconds. At least, mine is.

    • Re: (Score:2, Interesting)

      by Anonymous Coward

      I'll be 48 in a couple of days.
      My attention span for ads is zero.
      MythTV auto commercial skipping FTW!

    • by AmiMoJo ( 196126 )

      I'm surprised it's as long as 5 to 6 seconds. I'm gen X and my attention span for ads rounds down to zero.

      • Youtube will force 5 seconds of ad viewing before showing you the video. Since YT is one of the larger delivery platforms for ads I doubt this is a 5-6 second attention span as much as you have 5-6 seconds to make your ad compelling enough that someone won't click the skip ad link.

        • Youtube will force 5 seconds of ad viewing before showing you the video.

          Does it? The large majority of youtube links won't play for me - something to do with my ad-blocker and/ or NoScript. It's not something I've wasted time trying to figure out.

          Since YT is one of the larger delivery platforms for ads

          Is it? That may be why most content linked to on youtube doesn't work. Oh well, youtube's loss.

    • ..is around 5 to 6 seconds. At least, mine is.

      OK, I got bored after the first couple of words. Can anyone fill me in on if there was anything worthwhile after that?

      But seriously, haven't most people developed a "baby filter" so far as TV ads are concerned. What I mean is the self-preservation shield that parents have where they can just screen out all the random noise that comes from their children - while being alert to any signs of distress.

      For advertisements, I generally haven't a clue what was being advertised 5 minutes ago, an hour ago, yester

  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 21, 2017 @10:59PM (#54856329)

    Fuck ads. Fuck people who make boring, standard advertising. You are worth none of my time.

    • I see decent ads on youtube, I think, hmm, I wonder what they have to say. But I don't wonder enough to not hit skip. At this point it could be the video I'm trying to watch and if it's presented as an ad I'll hit skip.
    • No. Screw the whole concept of advertiaement

      • I Agree. Stop disrespecting people's time.

        Ban Advertisements -- you eyes, ears, brain, and environment will thank you getting rid of the visual and audio vomit.

        --
        Ads are immoral -- yes that was cynical sarcasm.

      • So you have paid subscriptions to services like YouTube Red, Hulu Plus, and Netflix? Otherwise, I think you fail to understand the concept of profit-motive. Good ads serve a benefit to the viewer. They inform the viewer of products and services they never knew they wanted, and wouldn't have thought to seek out. On TV, sponsors are forced to guess what a show's viewers want. Potentially, on the Internet, advertisers like Google can make an educated guess about products you would like to know about; however,
    • This, I'm a Gen-X, and I have 0 second attention for ads, be it on TV or internet. I started "surfing the net" in early 90s when there was no ads, and now even on some "news" webpages where 75% is ads and the article is 10 lines, my attention goes on these 10 lines and 0 on the ads. After reading the paragraph and closing the tab, if someone asks me what were all the ads in the top/bottom/left/right columns, I would have no clue.

      • This is why News sites are switching to paywalls. Sponsors are learning that people tune out or adblock ads; based on this knowledge, they are collectively offering less and less money per pageview, and advert click not resulting in a purchase. This means it's no longer profitable to run the site, meaning either the company goes out of business, or they come up with a different business model, such as paywalls.
  • poor millenials (Score:2, Interesting)

    by roman_mir ( 125474 )

    I hear so much of this: millennials this, millennials that, can poor millennials ever catch a break? They have inherited a shitty economy, a weird climate, a never ending war on so called 'terrorism'. They are under impression that all that can really help them is more collectivist action because they got convinced that free market capitalism is all that is wrong with the world though they rarely actually experienced free market anything.

    Millennials only have 5 to 6 second attention span for ads... guess

  • Perhaps (Score:5, Funny)

    by pushing-robot ( 1037830 ) on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:03PM (#54856347)

    It's not a matter of attention span but the time it takes to remind yourself "I wouldn't have time for this and I'm broke anyway."

    • by Anonymous Coward

      I seldom see ads and I don't watch TV. I'm also not a millennial - a baby boomer actually. So if they are really watching ads for 5 seconds, then they still have a lot to learn about adblockers. Bah, kids these days. Now get off my lawn.

    • Re:Perhaps (Score:4, Interesting)

      by Freischutz ( 4776131 ) on Saturday July 22, 2017 @01:57AM (#54856731)

      It's not a matter of attention span but the time it takes to remind yourself "I wouldn't have time for this and I'm broke anyway."

      If I recall correctly 4 (or is it 5?) seconds is the time you have to endure a commercial on YouTube before you can skip the ad so a 5-6 second attention span sounds about right. If I were trying to advertise under those time constraints the first two thirds of the ad would consist of a loud commanding voice saying: "Do you need X? Well then get off your ass and buy Y!" or something to that effect. The remainder of the ad time would be consumed by a voice quickly blurting out the following: "And here is an extra second of ad for you to skip so you don't feel cheated.". The problem with all these ad services is that they don't show me what I'm interested in even when they manage to cram their message into a 4-5 second package. I sit there watching documentaries about sword fighting, medieval history, Classical history, palaeontology, relativistic space travel, documentaries about all manner of phenomena in space, .... etc. I'm usually logged in on YouTube so you'd think Google ingenious advertising algorithms would be able to target ads at my interests given my very specific YouTube viewing history. You'd think I'd be flooded with ads trying to sell me swords, armour, history books, the collective works of Isaac Asimov and Frank Herbert, trips to Florida or French Guiana to tour the NASA/ESA space ports but nooooooo... I get ads for ridiculous online games, Chinese pop music, Illumibowl toilet lights....

      • All of those things you named, you knew about already. With the ads, you now now of the existence of the other things, too. Technically, they're succeeding.

        • All of those things you named, you knew about already. With the ads, you now now of the existence of the other things, too. Technically, they're succeeding.

          The measure of success for an ad is if it shows me something I'm interested in. An ad that tries to sell me stuff that I don't want is a waste of the advertisers money no matter how well I remember it.

      • ads for ridiculous online games, Chinese pop music, Illumibowl toilet lights....

        At least you get toilet lights and other ads... which is already better than seeing the same shampoo ads 5 times.

  • Doesn't everyone? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Gussington ( 4512999 ) on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:06PM (#54856353)
    I can't even stand the 5 seconds youtube makes you watch an ad before you can skip it. There's a reason adblockers are so popular, and it isn't only Millenials.
    • by RyoShin ( 610051 )

      I can't even stand the 5 seconds youtube makes you watch an ad before you can skip it.

      I couldn't, either, which is why I subscribed to Youtube Red. I know some people find it expensive, but Youtube is virtually my only source of visual media consumption, so with that consideration it's a no-brainer.

      • Same here. Between adblocking, and YouTube's algorithms figuring out that ads don't influence me, I never got ads beyond YouTuber sponsorship interludes (which I don't usually mind when done appropriately). But I still bought YouTube Red because it allows the channels I like to get money without wasting my time. I also heavily invest my money via Patreon. I took the money i used to spend on cable, and spread that among my favorite channels that participate in Patreon.
  • No. (Score:5, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:07PM (#54856361)

    5 to 6 seconds for ads?

    WTF is wrong with them?

    No. Ads get maybe half a second while I'm finding the blocking script that they made it past.

  • More than me, and I'm a lot older than that. Time to stop trying to millennials in a a bucket. People are people and millennials are not a special case.

    • by jwest ( 21646 )

      "Time to stop trying to PUT millennials in a a bucket."

      Look, i broke a couple fingers and typing is tough... Respond to the intention not the typos....

  • I have zero. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Chris Katko ( 2923353 ) on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:11PM (#54856371)

    I literally don't care about your ads. I'll mute them the second they come on. And if I remember an ad, I go out of my way to NOT purchase their product.

    "Hmm, I heard big mac today. I'm craving a big mac. Guess I'm not going."

    • Re:I have zero. (Score:5, Insightful)

      by drinkypoo ( 153816 ) <drink@hyperlogos.org> on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:14PM (#54856383) Homepage Journal

      I literally don't care about your ads. I'll mute them the second they come on. And if I remember an ad, I go out of my way to NOT purchase their product.

      Well, to be fair, that's a kind of caring. It's just not the kind they want. I feel precisely the same way. Anyone who shits on my mind with an advertising jingle or some pictures of fake food passed off as something they're selling deserves only my contempt, not my dollars.

      • Re: (Score:2, Informative)

        by Anonymous Coward

        If sufficient numbers of people felt that way, Pepsi would take out annoying ads "supporting" Coca-cola (provided local laws allowed it).

        • If sufficient numbers of people felt that way, Pepsi would take out annoying ads "supporting" Coca-cola

          That sort of thing has been done. In the 1980 USA presidential campaign, won by Reagan, the opposing Democrats braodcast clips from Reagan's old films, as they were so cringeworthy.

        • If sufficient numbers of people felt that way, Pepsi would take out annoying ads "supporting" Coca-cola (provided local laws allowed it).

          To the best of my understanding, which I admit is limited, that's illegal. My understanding is that you can only use your competitors' trademarks for the explicit purpose of comparison or critique. Maybe a lawyer or someone who's actually bothered to read the law could comment :p

      • People are taking the piss out of you everyday. They butt into your life, take a cheap shot at you and then disappear. They leer at you from tall buildings and make you feel small. They make flippant comments from buses that imply you’re not sexy enough and that all the fun is happening somewhere else. They are on TV making your girlfriend feel inadequate. They have access to the most sophisticated technology the world has ever seen and they bully you with it. They are The Advertisers and they are laughing at you.

        You, however, are forbidden to touch them. Trademarks, intellectual property rights and copyright law mean advertisers can say what they like wherever they like with total impunity.

        Fuck that. Any advert in a public space that gives you no choice whether you see it or not is yours. It’s yours to take, re-arrange and re-use. You can do whatever you like with it. Asking for permission is like asking to keep a rock someone just threw at your head.

        You owe the companies nothing. Less than nothing, you especially don’t owe them any courtesy. They owe you. They have re-arranged the world to put themselves in front of you. They never asked for your permission, don’t even start asking for theirs.

        – Banksy

    • That's exactly what I do. Especially the super annoying banner planes on the coast on a summer weekend. I make a point to remember the product so I'll never ever buy it, or turn it on in case it's for a radio station or TV show.

  • Ads? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Excelcia ( 906188 ) <slashdot@excelcia.ca> on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:13PM (#54856377) Homepage Journal

    Millennials have a 6 second attention span for anything. Including writi

  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:14PM (#54856381)

    I have a 0 second attention span for ads, because advertisement sucks and is a waste of time and space. The brands I remember being shoved in my face? I go out of my way to pay more for something else because FUCK advertisers.

    • True, I don't understand ads sometimes... for cars or perfumes or powder laundry or whatever food, they have 0 impact on my decision to buy or not these things.

  • by tlambert ( 566799 ) on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:17PM (#54856389)

    Could have just left off "For Ads"...

    Just saying...

  • by Anonymous Coward

    The time it takes to reach for the remote. On the computer, 0.5s to skip the few that get through the stack of ad blockers.

  • Blipverts (Score:5, Interesting)

    by mentil ( 1748130 ) on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:19PM (#54856395)

    So, Blipverts are the future? This explains why Youtube is killing the 30-second ad in favor of shorter ads, though.

    • So, Blipverts are the future?

      I gotta remember to throw some plastic sheets over the couch...

    • Re:Blipverts (Score:4, Interesting)

      by spire3661 ( 1038968 ) on Saturday July 22, 2017 @12:24AM (#54856547) Journal
      Nice. I was really hoping to see Max Headroom pop back up for the modern era. When watching that show I distinctly remember thinking: "Wait a minute, how can corporations be more powerful than the government?". I wish i could go back to that innocence.....
      • Nice. I was really hoping to see Max Headroom pop back up for the modern era. When watching that show I distinctly remember thinking: "Wait a minute, how can corporations be more powerful than the government?". I wish i could go back to that innocence.....

        All this time the corporations were thinking the same thing, but with different inflection.

    • So, Blipverts are the future? This explains why Youtube is killing the 30-second ad in favor of shorter ads, though.

      Have you seen the 5 second advert for the advert on Youtube? I think I first saw it with Jason Borne. Matt Damon punched someone and then the logo flashed up. I thought "shit that was a short trailer" but then it said "trailer follows".

      WTF it was an advert for an advert.

      • by MrMr ( 219533 )
        Obvious. Advertisement is a product that is bought by gullible people who believe the advertising agency is the only business that does not want to sell its own product but rather somebody else's.
  • Is it possible that in that 5 seconds, they are actually hopping on some less biased review site, determining the product is crap and moving on. Surely there's gotta be some point where advertising just works less.
  • 5 or 6 seconds for an ad is way more attention than I give them. I guess it will take a while before they learn to become "ad blind."

  • For us Gen X'ers, in the old days before Streaming video and DVR's, we were forced to watch 30 second commercials.

    There was no alternative. ...except for VCR's, but those could be as annoying to use as commercials were to watch and early on, were really expensive.

    I don't think it's that we had a long attention span. I didn't. It's that we had no choice what so ever. It wasn't the length of the ad, it was how many you'd have to ignore at a time.

    We coped though. I always amazed myself with how much homewo
    • And for prior generations, we did things like go to the bathroom, wash the dishes, put away the laundry ... longer ad breaks would let us start making a meal (I know, "what's 'making a meal' anyway? is that like nuking a pizza pocket?")
  • Wrong conclusion (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Baron_Yam ( 643147 ) on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:34PM (#54856443)

    It's not a 6 second attention span for ads before they get bored and move on, it's a 6 second tolerance of ads before the annoyance is worth the effort of avoiding the ad.

    But they already know that, which is why they play games with making the ads harder to avoid or skip instead of making short and clever attention-getting spots. They want to burn that brand into your head before you can press or click anything.

    Its why we have fights over commercial-skipping DVRs, why we have banners across the bottom of the screen, and why we have product placement.

    • by aktw ( 4857131 ) on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:40PM (#54856461)
      Obviously the advertising CEO would rather place blame on millennials than acknowledge a problem with his industry...
      • Every time I'm tempted to hate millennials, I think about it and realize that (with minor changes due to technology) I was just like them. Then I confidently go ahead and hate them with the kind of confident loathing that comes from self-knowledge.

        I don't have the patience to wait 20 years for them to catch up with me.

  • No Time (Score:5, Insightful)

    by PopeRatzo ( 965947 ) on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:39PM (#54856455) Journal

    Not having the patience for ads is not the same as having a short attention span. Maybe millennials are just a little more savvy than former generations and realize that all marketing is toxic horseshit.

    This story actually makes me optimistic for future generations.

    • Well the study isn't linked and there is no citation. The summary alludes to how ridiculous the claim is though. You cannot compare a 30 second television spot in the middle of a show that a viewer is engaged in and listening to with an online advertisement. They are two different things.

      I suspect this isn't at all related to millennials. Probably more of a people thing.

      • I suspect this isn't at all related to millennials. Probably more of a people thing.

        You're probably right. I have no time for advertisements. I pay extra for my media just to make sure I don't get any advertisements. I don't even like it when there is a promo for another movie or show at the beginning of the movie or show I want to watch.

        There's no way to eliminate advertising and marketing generally from our lives. Anyone who tells you they have done it is lying, because marketing is ubiquitous. But I

    • by zifn4b ( 1040588 )

      Not having the patience for ads is not the same as having a short attention span. Maybe millennials are just a little more savvy than former generations and realize that all marketing is toxic horseshit.

      That sad thing is this is more true than people realize. They've dressed it up better these days but in the 50's, Fred Flintstone was smoking Winstons in a cartoon commercial. Camels: "More doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette." And we thought this was perfectly socially acceptable at one point!

    • In the future, all ads will be like this one [flickr.com].

  • by Anonymous Coward

    Another reason it was so easy for Trump to win. He kept his tweets short and sweet. He's a man of our times!

  • by antdude ( 79039 ) on Friday July 21, 2017 @11:53PM (#54856495) Homepage Journal

    I'm Gen-X. I also have a very short span and impatient for many things like ads.

    Also, this /. story is missing a link to the story. :P

  • Blipverts [youtube.com]

  • by Jason1729 ( 561790 ) on Saturday July 22, 2017 @12:42AM (#54856593)
    I'm quite a bit older than millennials, and I sure don't have a 5-6 second attention span for ads. The reason I became a cord cutter was all the obnoxious ads exploding across the bottom on the screen for 5-6 seconds. If that's what they're going to do, I don't care to view their content for free much less pay for it.
    • I'm quite a bit older than millennials, and I sure don't have a 5-6 second attention span for ads.

      Same. I'm in my 40s and cannot tolerate video ads. If I watch some interesting video on Facebook that fades in an ad I'll scroll down right away. If I watch something that I've DVR'd I'll mash the FF button through ads. If I'm on a web page that starts playing a video ad I'll immediately close the page. If I'm watching a YouTube video I'll immediate click the Skip Ad button once it becomes available. (I've noticed some new ads last only the amount of time the button isn't available.) I don't go to gas stati

  • ... There is a difference between 'having no attention span' and 'being able to see bullshit for what it is and tune it out'
  • The only people paying attention to ads these days are the advertisers. I'm ancient by millenial standards, and 5-6 seconds is how long it takes me to find the skip/kill/mute button.

  • Mine is far less than that for ads. In fact, my attention is almost immediately lost as I hunt through AdBlock settings to figure out how the ad got past my ad blocker.

  • If you are advertising, chances are whatever you are offering isn't much of a deal. You're bigger and louder than your competition? Chances are you are offering an inferior product for a superior price. Which brings us to the second problem with advertising: the stupid scams you people pull just to put a little jingle in your pocket. You want to know why people block everything these days? Well, you already know the reason: it's you, or if it isn't you, it's ten of your friends. Come on, you know that you u

  • "If you're an advertiser who wants to market a product to millennials, you're going to have to make it quick. A new study by comScore revealed online ads targeted toward millennials have to b

    *evil Willow voice* Bored now!

  • Aren't most millennials either dead or in retirement homes at this point? Hip brands are all about gen-z and Alpha now. Alphas also wear gray and work much harder than we do, because they're so frightfully clever
  • None of them have jobs, or money to buy anything. Wait a few years until their baby-boomer parents die and leave them a little money. Then they'll start paying attention to ads.

  • The older generation is used to radio and TV where you can not skip ads. Magazine ads are unobstrusive, there for you if you want to read it, but stay without causing irritation, subsidizing the cost of the magazine. The Radio/TV advertisers abused their captive audience so long we got used to it and developed our own defense mechanisms like scheduling the bathroom breaks or doing other small tasks.

    Web browsing is completely different, we don't have to take that nonsense anymore and we dont. And the youn

    • Stockholm syndrome would require you to eventually at least get used to the situation. And advertising doesn't allow this, by definition, because getting used to something also entails not paying attention to it anymore. And advertising wants exactly that from you. So they became more obnoxious, more intrusive, more in-your-face every time you eventually got used to them.

      Even my dad, who is going to be 70 in a few years, who pretty much existed with ads for his whole life, even he is still bitching about ad

  • Usually my attention span for ads is less than 1 second. Way to go millenials!
  • by waspleg ( 316038 ) on Saturday July 22, 2017 @07:24AM (#54857239) Journal

    Your company is not entitled to my time, bandwidth, nor attention.

    On browsers: uBlock Origin, HTTPS Everywhere, Privacy Badger.

    On my home network: pfSense firewall sits between Comcast and everything else. pfBlockerng + DNSBL

    They are configured with multiple host list sources, it's the best thing I've ever done for adblocking. It stops all the shit from getting on my SmartTV which is locked down and auto-updates but it doesn't fucking play ads in the youtube app or anywhere else but TV from the antenna.

  • Millennials also have a 5 to 6 second attention span when remembering to included the article source [cnbc.com] in their Slashdot submissions, too.

    P.S. "Reader schwit1 writes..." ... is obviously the new way of expressing "copy and paste".

  • I was born in the fifties of last century and I have none whatsoever.

  • Superbowl commercials are going to be a lot cheaper if you're only doing 5-6 second time slots.

    Assuming anyone will continue watching it that is.

  • Why would anyone even bother paying attention to an ad? Even if it was a product I was potentially interested in, their point of view is completely biased. No sales person or ad ever tells you the drawbacks to a product (unless legislated to such as drug side effects), their goal is to tell you good things. I know this. You know this. Pretty much everyone knows this. So why would I consider their opinion as a serious factor in my purchasing decision. The maker of widget XYZ says its great, oh.. you d
  • When you get older, you notice that your time is limited. You trying to waste my time peddling your shit makes you my enemy. You're trying to steal the most precious asset I have and you will be fought tooth and nail.

    Hello. My name is Opportunist, you killed my time, prepare to die.

  • I'm 65 and my attention span for ads is around 2 seconds (i.e., the amount of time it takes me to figure out it's an ad).

Keep up the good work! But please don't ask me to help.

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