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If I could print 1 replacement organ ...

Displaying poll results.
I'd print myself a new heart.
  3681 votes / 14%
I'd print myself a new liver.
  2609 votes / 10%
I'd print myself a new kidney.
  429 votes / 1%
I'd print myself a new brain.
  3609 votes / 14%
I'd print myself a new set of skin.
  1748 votes / 6%
I'd print myself some organ here unlisted.
  4894 votes / 19%
I'd print an organ for someone else.
  6324 votes / 25%
I'd pass.
  1811 votes / 7%
25105 total votes.
[ Voting Booth | Other Polls | Back Home ]
  • Don't complain about lack of options. You've got to pick a few when you do multiple choice. Those are the breaks.
  • Feel free to suggest poll ideas if you're feeling creative. I'd strongly suggest reading the past polls first.
  • This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls. If you're using these numbers to do anything important, you're insane.
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If I could print 1 replacement organ ...

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  • Liver (Score:5, Funny)

    by Osgeld (1900440) on Friday September 14, 2012 @12:25AM (#41331565)

    I am going to need it at this rate

  • Pancreas (Score:5, Insightful)

    by hardburlyboogerman (161244) <kwsmith41747@windstream.net> on Friday September 14, 2012 @12:28AM (#41331587) Homepage Journal

    Since I am a type 1 diabetic since my pancreas was ruptured & removed 12 years ago.I have suffered through the very severe side effects of Diabetes,especially 3 amputations.

    • Re:Pancreas (Score:4, Informative)

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 14, 2012 @06:36AM (#41332851)

      If it was possible several years ago I would check OE pancreas as well but for my Dad who passed away from pancreatic cancer. Only had 7 weeks from diagnosis until death.

    • Re: (Score:2, Informative)

      by Anonymous Coward
      Completely missing an organ is a drag to say the least. My _young_ wife had her thyroid (and a few other things) removed 4 years ago (cancer). After that it's treatment for life, and a quality of life that goes down the drain: sex went from twice a day to once a week overnight, inability to do anything tiring, long time to recover from a night out or a day hiking, etc... Yup, I'll print her a new one as soon as I can !
      • by Kinthelt (96845)

        Sounds similar to having a baby.

  • Other (Score:2, Funny)

    by Unknown Lamer (78415) Works for Slashdot

    A new Homuncowboyus Nealus, duh

  • I am white (Score:5, Funny)

    by Psychotic_Wrath (693928) on Friday September 14, 2012 @12:35AM (#41331611)
    Because of this I think you know what organ I'd like to print.
  • Meh (Score:4, Funny)

    by niff (175639) <woutervannifterick.gmail@com> on Friday September 14, 2012 @12:36AM (#41331615) Homepage

    Organs sound too 60's for my taste.

  • by Z00L00K (682162) on Friday September 14, 2012 @12:38AM (#41331627) Homepage

    Who suffers from MS.

  • by ndrw (205863)

    Given the amount of ethanol I have asked my liver to clean out of my bloodstream since I turned 21, I think my liver is my savior part!

  • by KC1P (907742)

    Seems to be the main problem!

    • by arth1 (260657)

      How do you know that the new one will be better? The poll doesn't say.

      Because of this risk, I'd go with something that's relatively harmless if the new organ was worse, like a wisdom tooth or fourth toe nail.

  • New organs (Score:5, Insightful)

    by lightknight (213164) on Friday September 14, 2012 @12:51AM (#41331689) Homepage

    Custom-designed heart good for longer than the lifetime of the owner. Skin which changed to reflect the mood of the owner.

    If at all possible, a better repair system, so life-threatening injuries would become life-irritating injuries.

  • vagina (Score:4, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 14, 2012 @12:53AM (#41331695)

    Because I have only seen one on the internets

  • knees (Score:4, Informative)

    by 1u3hr (530656) on Friday September 14, 2012 @01:00AM (#41331715)
    I need new knees, and new teeth.

    If I had a million dollars I could get those fixed now. So maybe I'd just print $1 million rather than wait.

  • Foreskin (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 14, 2012 @01:07AM (#41331735)

    Because mine was multilated without my consent after I was born.

    • by dargaud (518470)
      In a sue-happy country like the US, why isn't it more common for people in your case to sue the person (doctor/rabbi/...) who performed it ? After all, it is exactly how you described it: a sexual mutilation on a non-consenting child. If it was anything other than a religious tradition, people would be thrown in jail for life for something like that.
      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by jellomizer (103300)

        This seems to be a bigger deal than it is.

        1. For most of us, we don't even remember it.
        2. For most of us, we don't going around showing it off anyways (with or without it)
        3. Most women really don't care.
        4. It suppose to help prevent infection

        Either way it is no big deal.

        • Re:Foreskin (Score:4, Insightful)

          by ibwolf (126465) on Friday September 14, 2012 @10:53AM (#41334847)

          Either way it is no big deal.

          Unless something goes wrong during the procedure. There is no such thing as risk-free surgery.

          • by rvw (755107)

            Either way it is no big deal.

            Unless something goes wrong during the procedure. There is no such thing as risk-free surgery.

            But that one solves itself naturally. It just becomes a small deal!

        • Re:Foreskin (Score:5, Interesting)

          by Chrisje (471362) on Friday September 14, 2012 @01:17PM (#41336719)

          By saying it's not a big deal, you insult everything I stand for, you insult the Dutch Constitution, and you insult the German Constitution and their Constitutional courts. Learned men have concluded that the circumcision of children is a violation of their basic rights and their integrity.

          I was circumcised at 20. It was a medical decision: The foreskin was too tight to allow me to have sex properly, so I made the only choice I could. I *know* what it felt like, I know the "before and after" differences, and I know some good and bad consequences of the procedure.

          My son was born 4.5 years ago in Israel. He is, according to that side of the family, Jewish. According to me, he's just an Israeli and Dutch citizen, and he can make up his mind about philosophies later in life. According to the Dutch constitution, the freedom to believe whatever he wants is self-evident. The Israelis being the racist and religious fucknuts they are, however, caused them to use 6 months of debating with me to get me to yield to his circumcision. I refused. The first Mohel left the circumcision because I told him I didn't want it done because it is nobody's right to decide over his body but himself. The same applies to his mind. I don't understand the "religious by birth" argument. He is simply Daniel the Dutchman, and he is getting mind-raped as we speak.

          The second time around they did manage to circumcise him against my explicit will. He was a month and a half old. Mazal tov. They hurt him physically, which I could see at the time, but which I also can attest to as a later-in-life circumcised man. Then they took away his choice. He is getting Judaism shoved down his peeing tube. He cannot undo the modification / mutilation of his body ever again.

          Culture should stop at the knife and outside the school grounds. If that is not a big deal to you, you're an insensitive clod.

          • By saying it's not a big deal, you insult everything I stand for, you insult the Dutch Constitution, and you insult the German Constitution and their Constitutional courts.

            Somehow I doubt that he feels bad about insulting all those. If circumcision is all you stand for, then you have a serious lack of diversity in your life.

        • Re:Foreskin (Score:5, Insightful)

          by sootman (158191) on Friday September 14, 2012 @01:38PM (#41337045) Homepage Journal

          Yeah, except for when something goes horribly wrong [google.com] (up to and including death) from a procedure that is totally unnecessary literally 99.99%+ of the time.

          Would you play Russian Roulette if you didn't have to?

        • Re:Foreskin (Score:5, Insightful)

          by Sebastopol (189276) on Friday September 14, 2012 @02:19PM (#41337701) Homepage

          Who the fuck are you to tell me it's no big deal that I'm missing part of my penis?

          Thanks for telling me how to feel. Good luck with marriage.

        • Re:Foreskin (Score:4, Interesting)

          by yndrd1984 (730475) on Saturday September 15, 2012 @02:13AM (#41344135)

          1. For most of us, we don't even remember it.
          But it doesn't grow back - scars are still there, missing nerve endings, ...

          2. For most of us, we don't going around showing it off anyways (with or without it)
          But we do use it for having sex. Kind of important.

          3. Most women really don't care.
          So I shouldn't either? WTF?

          4. It suppose to help prevent infection
          Medical circumcision - a cure in search of a disease for over a century.

          • by Grishnakh (216268)

            There is a valid medical reason for routine infant circumcision: to discourage children/teenage boys from self-abuse (masturbating). Sound backwards? It should; this is exactly the reasoning that Victorian-era doctors had for pushing for this barbaric procedure to be standard.

            Luckily, the civilized world has moved on past this craziness, but the USA has not.

      • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

        by Anonymous Coward

        There's no religious tradition involved. Only a tiny percentage of Americans belong to a circumcising religion.
        The New Testament makes a big deal of circumcision not being a part of Christianity.

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward

      Whenever possible, please tell us all about your private parts. Everybody wants to hear everything about that.

  • Wait. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by mosb1000 (710161) <mosb1000@mac.com> on Friday September 14, 2012 @01:10AM (#41331749)

    Since none of my organs are failing, or having problems, at the moment, I'd rather wait until I have problems then print whatever it is I need. In the absence of that choice, I'd probably print one for someone else.

  • by ldobehardcore (1738858) <steven.dubois@NospAm.gmail.com> on Friday September 14, 2012 @01:11AM (#41331755)

    I'm not a long-time smoker like a lot of the older guys I know, who've been smoking nigh on half a century. But I have been smoking for ten years, and I'd like to print me a new set of lungs and a new trachea. I don't have cancer (that I know of (yet)) but I used to be able to play sousaphone while marching briskly uphill. I can't even carry that sousaphone uphill now without getting winded and wanting to have a smoke.

    Or maybe a new brain would be better.....

    • by AK Marc (707885)
      Why don't you just quit? The studies show that your body recovers from the damage quite quickly. Since you don't have cancer yet, quitting now will get you just about to "normal" chance in a couple years. And lung capacity will be back sooner than that.
      • Re:Pulmenary system (Score:5, Informative)

        by Capt.DrumkenBum (1173011) on Friday September 14, 2012 @12:35PM (#41336113)
        And lung capacity will be back sooner than that. I quit 3 years ago, and I still get winded more easily than people who have never smoked. Some of the damage never does repair.
        That said, to the OP: Quit! Quit now! You will never regret quitting! Nothing feels better than waking up in the morning not needing a smoke.
        Don't forget all the extra money you will have for new "toys".
    • by Nos. (179609)

      As others have said, quit.
      I quit after about 15 years of smoking. I took up running and feel great. I run about 30-40K per week, and have undone most of the damage I caused by smoking. Running shoes and even the technical shorts and shirts are far cheaper than smoking as well :)

  • Ears (Score:5, Interesting)

    by techno-vampire (666512) on Friday September 14, 2012 @03:15AM (#41332227) Homepage
    I have hearing damage caused by too much exposure to outbound gunfire back in '72 when I was in the Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club. Yes, it's service connected, and my hearing aids are free, but I'd love to be able to replace them, or even one of them.
  • by cra (172225) on Friday September 14, 2012 @03:36AM (#41332285) Homepage

    I know of a few people that is in dire need of a new organ, and in every case that organ is the brain. Defective kidneys and livers seem to have less visible effects, so the need of such organs are not as obvious.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 14, 2012 @03:59AM (#41332345)

    I'd print myself a Hammond organ. With Leslie speakers.

  • by BlackPignouf (1017012) on Friday September 14, 2012 @04:39AM (#41332463)

    I'm blind in one eye.
    So the answer is pretty obvious :
    big tits! :D

  • by TheGoodNamesWereGone (1844118) on Friday September 14, 2012 @08:32AM (#41333359)
    "It's rotten, I tell you! ROTTEN!"
  • Tendonitis for the lose. :(
  • Hers is cancerous and she could really use a new one right now! Second round of chemo is done in October.
  • Can I tell you after my doctor's appointment this afternoon?

    (Unfortunately I'm not joking. I'm having some bizarre health problems and I don't know why.)

  • Is not cloning, is printing, could be some space for innovation. Why stay with old, maybe proven, but not the ceiling, technology? Why not titanium bones, or more efficient hearth, or going full to the cyborg idea?
  • This way I can start smoking again and replace my lungs if I get a cancer. Man I miss smoking. If it weren't for the fact that it is incredibly bad for health, I would never have quit smoking.
  • Isn't there an obvious option missing? Is it because we at Slashdot really don't care about our dick sizes any more?
  • by ThorGod (456163) on Friday September 14, 2012 @10:27AM (#41334517) Journal

    Let's put no middle/high school into this brain and double the math content.

  • Trust me... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by clevershark (130296) on Friday September 14, 2012 @10:32AM (#41334581) Homepage

    As someone who just got out of the burns ward yesterday -- you want a second set of skin. Don't even waste any time looking at the other options.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    Still can't digest grass. Fix that and it's no longer 'cutting the grass' rather it's 'making dinner'.

    Now get off my lunch.

  • My son has a pretty severe kidney-related problem, since birth. He's almost 9 months old now. I would happily donate one of my kidneys for him but he's too young.
    I'd print one for him right now if this were possible.

  • A slightly modified brain for my autistic son. He's adorable as he is, but it would be nice to have a conversation with him.

    If I had a coupon for a two-fer I'd also get an eye for me (blind in one eye since I was a kid).

  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 14, 2012 @12:40PM (#41336183)

    Man, this is a rather annoying poll. Every response in here seems to fall under one of three categories... and two of them can basically be lumped together.

    1. Liver - I drink logs, hurr durr.
    1b. Brain - I stupid, I need new brain hurr durr.

    2. Remove whatever cancer I have/someone else has.

    So all of the comments boil down to either lame, overplayed college humour, or a sob fest. Boy, what an awesome pile of comments to read.

  • by Sique (173459) on Friday September 14, 2012 @03:32PM (#41338771) Homepage

    It's unlisted, but I would print myself an new pair of knees due to the old ones falling victim to arthrosis, and a new thumb which was damaged in an bicycle accident recently.

  • by rizole (666389) <rizole@nOSpam.gmail.com> on Sunday September 16, 2012 @07:22AM (#41351249) Homepage
    A prehensile tail please.

    Seriously, how useful would a "third hand" be? I could be typing this two handed and eating a cheeseburger at the same time. Of course I'd need the supporting neural structures to go with it; motor and sensory cortex etc; and who knows what emergent cognitive possibilities that might add?

  • by trydk (930014) on Sunday September 16, 2012 @04:08PM (#41355503)
    My wife consistently reminds me that I lack it.
  • by Anarchduke (1551707) on Sunday September 16, 2012 @06:43PM (#41356737)
    They've been trying to come with a genuine male enhancement product for centuries.

Stellar rays prove fibbing never pays. Embezzlement is another matter.

 



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