In theory, the big company would expect you to work 45 or so hours a week on average,
I'm going to say you're doing this wrong, that's definitely too many hours.
The startup, on the other hand, is giving you stock options and expects you to work 60 hours a week and oh,
There are surely some startups who expect this, especially of the first 5 employees or so. Once the get 15 or 20, they start to mellow out and you should have no problem finding one that will be satisfied with 40 hours a week.