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When I need a robust business solution, I prefer it ...

Displaying poll results.
... have rich, multihomed interconnectedness.
  1127 votes / 8%
... cloudify relevant engagement opportunities.
  831 votes / 6%
... fully support my enterprise's monetization model.
  987 votes / 7%
... exemplify tomorrow's best technology, today.
  1148 votes / 8%
... empower my organization's biggest asset: people.
  2692 votes / 20%
... feature an excellent selection of marketing swag.
  6203 votes / 47%
12988 total votes.
[ Voting Booth | Other Polls | Back Home ]
  • Don't complain about lack of options. You've got to pick a few when you do multiple choice. Those are the breaks.
  • Feel free to suggest poll ideas if you're feeling creative. I'd strongly suggest reading the past polls first.
  • This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls. If you're using these numbers to do anything important, you're insane.
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When I need a robust business solution, I prefer it ...

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday May 15, 2012 @03:28PM (#40009525)

    If that's serious question ....

    This poll is making fun of marketing "terms" and buzzwords - and for good reason.

    Businesses like to make their products seem more unique than they are, to make them seem to add more value than they do and to make it sound more important than it is; hence the buzzwords and nonsensical phrases. These buzzwords are also there to obfuscate exactly WTF you are looking at and make it more difficult to comparison shop between "solutions" or as I like to call it: overpriced software. They can't call it an accounting and inventory package. No, it's got to be an enterprise resource planning software or some such thing. Can't call is a sales program - go to call it "Customer Relationship Management" package. I think I start my software company and call my "solution" CYUTA (Cute-Ah) - Charge You Up The Ass.

    One of my all time pet peeves is the term "price point" - they can't just say "the price"; no it has sound like some sort of scientific data point. And unfortunately, I'm hearing regular folks using that "term" in everyday conversation now.

    Don't get me started on "preexisting" - talk about a stupid made up work that has become a real word. That word was invented by someone in the medical insurance industry - I guess they couldn't say, "We will not cover illnesses that existed before this policy was purchased" or what have you.

  • by artor3 (1344997) on Tuesday May 15, 2012 @09:39PM (#40012707)

    Are you joking? This is the best poll in recent memory! "Cloudify relevant engagement opportunities"... it's brilliant parody of what /. has been complaining about.

  • by Xtifr (1323) on Tuesday May 15, 2012 @09:39PM (#40012717) Homepage

    It's *obviously* a joke by The Editors on themselves.

    I think it actually falls into the category my mom used to describe as "just like a joke, except not funny."

    It's possible it could have been made funny, though, by making some of the terms link to appropriate places. For example:

    ... empower my organization's biggest asset: people [].

  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday May 15, 2012 @10:44PM (#40013057)

    1. Competitively Priced
    2. Available from 3 or more vendors
    3. Easy or Zero Configuration
    4. Full documented. Easy to find answers.
    5. Zero Bugs
    6. A rep that answers the phones, answers my question, fixes the problems, buys me lunch once in a while, buys the girls flowers on secretaires day and buys me a bottle of crown royal for Christmas.
    7. Runs on average speed, commodity hardware.
    8. Does not require runtimes, libraries, exchange servers, sql servers and a hundred other pieces all of the exact precise version, or the whole thing blows up and the vendors all get to play 'It's not my fault' and I need to dart the boss to keep him calm.
    9. Stable. Stable. Stable. Boring. Boring Boring. I want to go on holidays and not have the phone ring.
    10. Boring and old fart-ish, so the kids and the mangers and the business owners don't fuck with it and leave it alone and don't wreck it and don't change things. Anything. Ever. Things are the way the are, because that's the way they MUST be. It took FOREVER and way toooo long to get it to where it is. If there was an easy, softer, gentler, kinder way, I would be doing it that way. Now fuck off and go play. Go Sell Something.
    11. Does not have bugs.
    12. Easy to use.
    13. Fast.
    14. Easy to understand.
    15. Requires zero training.
    16. No more than 1 update per year. And 100% of my data better work or else.
    17. Updates that work. And work Fast. Rollbacks that work if the thing does not update. And a help desk that just helps! Never mind my customer id number. The thing is broke, you broke it, I'm calling, because I have to fix your problem, now help me.
    17. I am willing to pay 20% of the original purchase price every 2 or 3 years for an updated version as long as it is an incremental change that mkes things faster, better and EASIER. Developers got to eat too.
    18. No clean slate, scorched earth updates.
    19. Updates that will update version 1.00 to Version 22.3. Me and the client have reasons, good valid business reasons why we are so far behind. Just provide the update, make it solid and flawless and answer the phone 24/7 in English and help if it all goes fubar. Ask me for my account number and I release the Tomahawks.

  • Haters gonna hate (Score:5, Interesting)

    by msobkow (48369) on Wednesday May 16, 2012 @09:55AM (#40017025) Homepage Journal

    In the real world, people with complaints are the most likely to step up and scream.

    I've never seen a poster firing off an all caps scream of "I LOVE WHAT YOU'RE DOING! KEEP IT UP!"

    I, too, mourn the days when Slashdot was all about technology and hardware. But you know what? My last several jobs haven't been about the technology and hardware, either.

    For the most part, bread and butter business programming has been pretty much stable for the past decade or so. We get bigger faster hardware, we glue on web interfaces, but the core business systems don't really change all that much.

    The same is true of most commercial products. "Updates" are released that implement the latest and greatest UI metaphors from the desktop world, web services shift from static HTML to AJAX enabled "HTML5" interfaces, but the core logic and business needs are the same.

    It's been over 7 years since I worked on a project that was developing something completely new. The heyday of creativity and bit-twiddling are gone. Programming has gone mainstream, and it's all about integration, customization, and configuration of canned packages or enhancing existing custom applications nowadays. There just aren't a heck of a lot of new requirements from the business world.

    So in a market where the majority of canned package requirements have been met for a decade, the vendors and project managers are left to compete on buzzwords, because there really is nothing to differentiate their products other than brand name and cross-product affiliations, much like the mid-size car market.

10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.


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