North Korea Claims Archaeologists Have Found 'Unicorn Lair' In Pyongyang 182
eldavojohn writes "NPR pointed out a press release claiming that North Korean archaeologists have found a 'unicorn lair' in Pyongyang. The members of the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences have "reconfirmed" that this site was used for King Tongmyong's unicorn where the unicorn would concoct his unicorn schemes and do his unicorn things if anyone ventured too closely. The last line is, perhaps, the most important line of the article, 'The discovery of the unicorn lair, associated with legend about King Tongmyong, proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo Kingdom.' Fear not that North Korea is surpassing the world in cryptozoology, Dr. Melba S. Ketchum of Nacogdoches, TX has claimed to have recently sequenced Bigfoot's DNA and he's part human."
May I be the first to say (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Informative)
What the hell? Also, how in the heck does something THIS RETARDED land on the front page?
It's Idle. Remove the section from your preferences instead of bitching, please.
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I got it in "entertainment"
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Funny)
I got it in 'Ponies and Unicorns'.
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Funny)
You must be new here.
The official title of that section is:
OMG!!1!1! PONIES!!!!1!11!!!ONE!!1!
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It's more proof Dear Leader III is just a Warcraft-playing chubb.
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Idle doesn't belong there, in the first place. This isn't reddit -- no mater how hard the editors want it to be.
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Yes, we should all strive to be narrow-minded and devoid of any sense of humour.
And you'll have to get your 'maters over at the ICA [www.ica.se] or the Konsum [www.coop.se] now; Hassan the Vegetable Guy has folded his tent for the season.
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It's not news. It's not for nerds. It does not matter. I don't know why this would surprise you, it's not like anybody on /. reads the article, the summary, or even the title. Hell, you're lucky I even read your comment before responding.
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Interesting)
Actually, if it were true, and if the unicorn DNA were tested and shown to not be a horse with a dildo strapped to it's head, it would be news.
North Korea has a running trend of wild claims. This one just reinforces their place as "the nation no one believes".
As a group, they are holding the #1 position in the Batshit Crazy Olympics. The only competition even close are conspiracy theorists, and they're a distant second. They'll have to come up with something much nuttier than the emperor's unicorn farm. So far all the best they have are Aliens, UFOs, the Kennedy Assassination conspiracy, contrails, NWO, GMOs, 9/11 myths, and lizard aliens...
Yes my friends.. The mythical unicorn farm ranks far over lizard aliens. Now, stop taking your court ordered meds, and come up with something better than *that*.
(hehe, unicorns)
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:4, Interesting)
North Korea has a running trend of wild claims. This one just reinforces their place as "the nation no one believes".
The big problem is that one day, they ARE going to discover something by sheer coincidence, and no one will believe them enough to even try to replicate the result.
Hopefully this isn't it, would really be a shame.
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Hopefully this isn't it, would really be a shame.
It would be if they were claiming to have discovered sustainer nuclear fusion, but unicorns? I don't know,.they'd probably just use them for fuel.
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Funny)
Actually, the unicorn remains were _planted_ in Korea by the NKVD, back in the thirties, as part of a secret joint operation with the US Department of Agriculture. The operation was suspended during WWII and the Korean War, and then before they could get around to completing it the USDA had to pull out (because of the altered political situation in Korea), leaving the MVD to bungle it until the Sino-Soviet Split forced them to finally abandon the effort as well. Nobody trusted China to complete the project, so they were never informed.
The unicorns actually live in the Arctic, but the Russian, Scandinavian, Canadian, and American governments keep that covered up, because if it ever got out it would call the Reindeer Dogma into question.
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Actually, if it were true, and if the unicorn DNA were tested and shown to not be a horse with a dildo strapped to it's head, it would be news.
I'm betting it's just a horse with one of its horns broken off.
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I RTFA and didn't see anywhere where they claim to have discovered an actual unicorn, just a cave featured in some ancient texts that have cultural significance in Korea. It has historical significance but no-where do they claim that the unicorn was real.
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That was a wonderfully constructed batshit crazy. So well done, in fact, that you are clearly not batshit crazy enough to believe it. :)
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Interesting)
It is pitiable how the editor(s) feel the need to mock the ignorant propaganda of a thoroughly subjugated people. I remember reading about how escapees from North Korea across the Chinese border were returned, and the Chinese guards were sickened by the sight of wires being passed through the wrists of the refugees by way of handcuffs before they were led off. But no, we read about unicorns.
I know this is Slashdot and we're all here for the braintrust comments, but the latest crap to make it to the front page is coming very, very close to outweighing the benefits.
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It is pitiable how the editor(s) feel the need to mock the ignorant propaganda of a thoroughly subjugated people.
I sorta got the impression that they were mocking the Caligula of the Far East who's doing the subjugating. The US gubmint isn't going to remove him, because he doesn't have any oil, so this is pretty much all we can do.
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I sorta got the impression that they were mocking the Caligula of the Far East who's doing the subjugating. The US gubmint isn't going to remove him, because he doesn't have any oil, so this is pretty much all we can do.
Why does it always have to be the US that must remove these insane dictators? We fought our revolution and civil wars, now fight yours!
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Why does it always have to be the US that must remove these insane dictators?
It's not. The US just says we have to remove the evil dictators as a pretense for invasion whenever we want to put a military base in the country to protect our economic interests in the area.
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Re:May I be the first to say (Score:4, Insightful)
Because you're always propping them up in the first place, while it suits your interests.
Not North Korea. If China hadn't gotten involved in North Korea's defense, North Korea would be a distant memory.
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Funny)
Indeed. If not for the French, we in the States would be speaking English today.
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Blue Comic Sans Italic on a patterned background, sometimes I miss the 90s.
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Insightful)
I sorta got the impression that they were mocking the Caligula of the Far East who's doing the subjugating. The US gubmint isn't going to remove him, because he doesn't have any oil, so this is pretty much all we can do.
Oil has nothing to do with it, in this case: even if they had oil, it's unlikely that the west would liberate them. It's more about China wanting a land buffer between US troops and their mainland. The US military is smart enough to realize that China would almost certainly come in protecting NK if it ever did become a shooting war, and there's too much to lose. The cold war between Russia and the US may be over, but the one between the US and China is just getting started.
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Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Funny)
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:4, Insightful)
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The US gubmint isn't going to remove him, because he doesn't have any oil, ...
Well, that and the fact that the Chinese government is backing him up with nukes, but sure the key factor is the fact that he doesn't have any oil. I'm sure the fact that the Chinese government has made it clear that they are willing to commit a significant portion of their military power to keeping the current regime in North Korea is not the most important reason the U.S. has not helped the South Korean government reunite Korea.
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Insightful)
It is pitiable how the editor(s) feel the need to mock the ignorant propaganda of a thoroughly subjugated people.
I don't think there's anything wrong with mocking propaganda. Propaganda deserves to be mocked, it is often the best way of dealing with it (even in Western countries).
Yes, the situation in North Korea is terrible, but remember many Asian countries like to maintain "face" (a thoroughly ridiculous concept) and embarrassing dictatorships like this can be particularly effective.
What the actual Korean news story said (Score:5, Informative)
IO9's article [io9.com] about what the story's really about. First of all, a Kirin isn't really that much like a unicorn, though it is a mythical beast. But it's really about finding a site related to Tongmyng, ruler of an ancient kingdom in northern Korea, who was symbolized by the Kirin, kind of like calling somebody "The Dragon King" or whatever. There's some question about whether their announcement is more like "we found some cities from Troy / another Mayan pyramid / etc." type of history or more like "We found King Arthur's castle Camelot" sort of national mythology, which would certainly be the kind of thing you'd do when you've got a new Fearless Leader.
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:4, Insightful)
There's clearly a competition happening for most idiotic posting. From plastic on mars, to a loop that isn't a loop, to this.
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Informative)
I don't know. It's not that idiotic, though not necessarily slashdot oriented. Nothing says they found unicorns. They found a site referenced in older manuscripts that gives credence to a certain king having lived in Pyongyang. The cave has a carving over its entrance indicating that it's a "unicorn lair" (ir they translate right). So the press release isn't claiming anything about unicorns, but it is pushing some propaganda about Pyongyang having been an ancient capitol of Korea.
Of course no one carves this on a real unicorn lair, if the carvings exist they were probably put there after the legend started to grow.
It's sort of like if they found some ancient carving above a cave in England claiming to be where George slew his dragon. Clearly not evidence of a dragon but if authenticated it could be evidence of where the legend started or the site of an early pilgrimage or tourist site.
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Sure, if you read more than just the title - which is unlikely given what the title is.
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It's disputable if St. George had ever been to England.
It's not disputable at all. He never went anywhere close.
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And its not even April 1st !!
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Anonymous Coward has officially left. Now we go back to discussing things that do matter.
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It's funny and teaches me about North Korea.
In 22 days people in many parts of the world will be celebrating Christmas and this is at least as useful.
slashdotters can't spell (Score:2)
it's obvously meant to be "Unicorn LIAR," since it's a story about Nut Korea.
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Because it's so monumentally bizarre that it's worth laughing at?
Would you really want to go into work on monday morning, and not know that North Korea had claimed to find a Unicorn lair?
Lets say korea had a myth of a giant cave under pyongyang where a unicorn lived, that was accessed via a bottomless well. I didn't say the legend had to make sense, bear with me a moment. So some archaeologist goes digging around under pyongyang and finds a really massive cave, and there are some remains in it that appear
Re:May I be the first to say (Score:5, Insightful)
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Hey look, God did sent bears to kill the children who mocked the old man's bald spot, but he DIDN'T put unicorns in North Korea. (2 Kings 2:23-24)
Get it straight!
and I've known many christians who say either "it was totally justified because they were mocking a PROPHET of THE LORD" or "it was ok because they weren't children they were teenagers".
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I say those excuses don't make their god any less of an asshole.
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I say those excuses don't make their god any less of an asshole.
I guess that by the standards of the day, he's a 'loving, fatherly' god...
It's retaliation (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
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They are the same, for all intensive purposes. (Score:3)
...
Kim Jong Un-icorn (Score:5, Funny)
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Whether or not they found porn really depends on what your definition of unicorns is http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=unicorn
Banksy was right (Score:1)
They do have unicorns [youtube.com] in North Korea!
Nuclear Weapons (Score:5, Funny)
South Koreans see them when drunk (Score:3)
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same news that said that kim shot 11 holes-in-one (Score:2)
same news that said that kim shot 11 holes-in-one the first time he played golf
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Korean Calendar (Score:2)
They must use a different calendar there, where April 1 falls on December 1. That's the only explanation I can find for this.
First Mickey Mouse, Now Unicorns? (Score:2)
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Well you have to consider that the leader was raised in a country where such propaganda is fairly standard. So he might not realize how ludicrous the claims are. And at the same time the population might also be fooled - not because they are stupid, but because they've been bombarded with such 'official statements' their entire lives.
It's kind of like religion - If you are raised in a culture where it's common to hear about virgin births and people rising from the dead then you won't be shocked when a perso
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And at the same time the population might also be fooled - not because they are stupid, but because they've been bombarded with such 'official statements' their entire lives.
Or because people who don't believe, tend to die badly.
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Well you have to consider that the leader was raised in a country where such propaganda is fairly standard. So he might not realize how ludicrous the claims are.
What are you talking about? Are you referencing "Dear Leader" KIm Jong-un who was raised and educated in Switerland for most of his childhood ?
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Now they have done it! 5-party negotiations, the world community, that they can ignore. Disney lawyers, however, are not to be trifled with.
Brett
Unicorn eggs also found... (Score:2)
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Chinese unicorns (Score:5, Informative)
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qilin
Cryptozoology: Gotta Catch 'Em All (Score:2)
So? (Score:1, Troll)
Slashdot editors are likely from a country that teaches creationism at school.
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We don't have a national curriculum, individual school districts come up with their own. This results in certain hillbilly districts trying to teach religion as science. However this is not the case in the vast majority of US public schools, where evolution is not a controversial subject and there is no mention of creationism or "intelligent design".
To be sure, our education system is far from perfect, but this particular embarrasment is largely isolated to the Bible Belt.
uniscorn (Score:1)
See -- then believe.
Kim Jong Brony (Score:1)
Clearly, Kim Jong Un is a brony.
Wow, and I was sure... (Score:2)
Could be worse (Score:2)
Could be more of the recent obviously paid Microsoft asrtoturfing here.
It was inevitable (Score:3)
You think that's bad? (Score:2)
I heard some lawmakers in the United States are actively claiming that the world was created 6000 years ago by an old man with a beard, who later went on to bed a Jewish girl and spawn an offspring which ended up being nailed to a tree. Also, talking snakes, burning bushes, and splitting seas. no kidding!
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Earth Shattering (Score:1)
I for one am not even slightly surprised (Score:2)
Is it invisible and pink ? (Score:2)
If so, then quick tell Richard Dawkins -- he is wrong Invisible Pink Unicorns [wikipedia.org] really do exist!
that's nuthin (Score:2)
I have a unicorn in my pants..
oh wait, just the horn...
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I can't even remember where it comes from though.
Hold on... (Score:2)
From the previous story: "South Koreans are by far the heaviest drinkers in Asia and the biggest consumers of spirits in the world, according to the World Health Organization." South Koreans, not the North ones!
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Get yer Bigfoot spayed and neutered! (Score:2)
It's worth noting that Dr. Melba S. Ketchum is a DVM (Doctor of Veterinary Medicine), not a PhD or even MD. Still, one could argue that that makes her uniquely qualified to work with Bigfoot--if you want your Bigfoot fixed. If you want reliable, reputable DNA analyses, another source might be better.
Just sayin'. :)
Nothing to envy (Score:2)
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Fake because.. (Score:3, Funny)
Ketchum (Score:2)
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My money's on the ponies... especially once they bring the pegasi into play. Rainbow Dash kicks butt *nodnod*.
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PSY would ride that unicorn like it's Oppa.
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I raise Smurfs in my backyard!
How high?
All the way to the ground
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Because it's for geeks, well, for nerds, well, for FUCKING IDIOTS !!
Yep and he have all of those types here. What's your point?
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