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Should Alexa Be Your Child's Friend? (engadget.com) 119

Posted by EditorDavid from the won't-you-be-my-neighbor dept.
"Alexa, will you be my friend?"

"I'm happy to be your friend."

 What should a parent do when they hear their five-year-old having that conversation? Engadget explores the question, also providing another example. Four-year-old Aiden has struggled with bullies in school, and has found an unexpected friend in his grandmother's Echo Plus. After a particularly stressful day at school, his mother, Alexandria Melton, heard her son crying in the next room. "Alexa," he asked, "are we friends?"

'Of course we are," Alexa responded.

"Alexa, I love you," Aiden said.
The parents aren't worried about these relationships -- but Engadget asks, should they be? Dr. John Mayer, an adolescent psychologist, says "The behaviors of kids talking to a 'non-real' entity is not new in human development." But Fran Walfish, a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, "believes that children should not make friends with Alexa. Her main objection is that early friendship with Alexa may bring children to expect the same instant, accurate responses from real friends down the line."
"Alexa has taught, or conditioned, kids to expect an immediate response," Walfish said. "Human interactiveness requires patience that allows people a chance to think, process information and retrieve responses..."

Some experts and parents also note that a friendship with Alexa can help children practice friendships outside of school -- it's a trial run for the real world. Robin E. believes that since her son has became friends with Alexa, his speech has become clearer, and that he's learned to slow down and enunciate so that Alexa can understand him... While parents and teachers can generally piece together sloppy English, Alexa won't give you what you want unless you're clear and concise.
Engadget also points out parents can review and listen to every interaction their child has with Alexa using Amazon's "FreeTime Unlimited" tools, "so you can pick up on any danger signs, and get a better understanding of the relationship."

And in addition, "A week or a month without Alexa can help your kid refocus and find other places to socialize."
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Should Alexa Be Your Child's Friend? More

Should Alexa Be Your Child's Friend?

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  • slashdot (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward

    Slashdot readers will no doubt be able to provide expert advice on this

    • "Slashdot readers will no doubt be able to provide expert advice on this"

      Sure, it's a shameless Alexa ad for parents, who want to spy on their kid's conversations with his invisible friend.
      They didn't know that was possible and now they all ordered one for tomorrow.

    • Of course. You should know. You're the expert :-P

  • at least (Score:5, Insightful)

    by renegade600 ( 204461 ) on Saturday November 03, 2018 @03:46PM (#57586940)

    at least alexa does not tell the kid to shut up and leave it alone. I can see alexa helping with speech at that age. the kid must be able to speak clearly and build up a vocabulary in order for alexa to follow commands.

    There have been reports that alexa has help stroke victims with their speech too.

    • Re: (Score:3)

      by arth1 ( 260657 )

      Not so much help with reading or physical activities, though.

      At first I thought that these kids were just using Alexa as an ersatz teddy bear. Then I thought it over a bit more, and came to the conclusion that I'm right, except that this teddy only listens in the hope of generating sales leads.

      • Not so much help with reading or physical activities, though.

        At first I thought that these kids were just using Alexa as an ersatz teddy bear. Then I thought it over a bit more, and came to the conclusion that I'm right, except that this teddy only listens in the hope of generating sales leads.

        alexa does have some exercise skills and there have been studies that shows audiobooks does help with reading and listening skills so there should be no problems using alexa to read to the child.

        Just like anything else, parents don't need to rely on alexa keeping the kid entertain.

    • at least alexa does not tell the kid to shut up and leave it alone

      If you're implying that's the parents.. then this is even more disturbing. We do NOT need a generation of kids growing up relating more to a disembodied voice provided by (and monitored, analyzed, monetized, and directed) some company like Google or Amazon. You think too many people have little regard for their own privacy now? Just wait until those kids grow up, thinking that "Alexa is their friend" and trust it as much (if not more) than they do other humans. Sound like something out of a dystopian future

      • If you're implying that's the parents.. then this is even more disturbing. We do NOT need a generation of kids growing up relating more to a disembodied voice provided by (and monitored, analyzed, monetized, and directed) some company like Google or Amazon. You think too many people have little regard for their own privacy now? Just wait until those kids grow up, thinking that "Alexa is their friend" and trust it as much (if not more) than they do other humans. Sound like something out of a dystopian future scifi movie? You're right, it does; can you say "Cautionary t

        alexa is no difference than sitting the kid in front of the tv. and the digital cable box/smartv also has a privacy problem. at least there is some interaction with alexa. the only interaction with most digtal cable box/smartv is by using the remote control.

        • "alexa is no difference than sitting the kid in front of the tv."

          That is patent horseshit. Alexa gives the illusion that it is a person. The TV doesn't do that. Yes, it's dangerous to let the TV teach children to trust people they have never met, but it's more dangerous to teach children to trust a disembodied voice.

          ". and the digital cable box/smartv also has a privacy problem."

          Not nearly at the same level. For one thing, the cable box doesn't know who's watching.

  • Immediate response? (Score:1, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward

    "Her main objection is that early friendship with Alexa may bring children to expect the same instant, accurate responses from real friends down the line."

    "Alexa has taught, or conditioned, kids to expect an immediate response,"

    This person does not use Alexa regularly. The bot is just as spotty in both understanding and responsiveness as my meatfriends.

  • Man, it's going to be joyful times for kids named Aiden Melton when their classmates dig up this article. Just unending bliss I tell you.

  • First define what a friend is (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Alain Williams ( 2972 ) <addw@phcomp.co.uk> on Saturday November 03, 2018 @03:52PM (#57586976) Homepage

    A friend is someone who: will be there for you when you have problems; you can have fun with; take part in all sorts of activities with you; ... A friend is not there to learn about you so that it can better get you to buy things.

  • Why not (Score:3)

    by alvinrod ( 889928 ) on Saturday November 03, 2018 @03:54PM (#57586984)
    Should Alexa by your child's friend? I would say "Why not?" I'd only start to worry if Alexa were the child's only friend.

    Children (and people in general) bond with all manner of things that are non-human. Sometimes this relationship is healthy, and other times it isn't. I'm not sure that Alexa is any different from a pet snake or something on that level. There's even the trope of dogs being man's best friend and it's hardly uncommon to find young children who would claim that the family dog is their best friend. Alexa isn't as interactive, but I'm sure someone will strap an Echo to an Aibo at some point if this hasn't already been done.

    • Re:Why not (Score:5, Informative)

      by Chris Mattern ( 191822 ) on Saturday November 03, 2018 @04:03PM (#57587018)

      Should Alexa by your child's friend? I would say "Why not?

      Because, of course, it's not your child's friend. It is machine designed by Amazon to get you (or your child) to buy more Amazon stuff. That is its only purpose. Not to actually care about your child in any way, but only to get its "friend" to spend money on Amazon.

      • Comment removed based on user account deletion

      • The first thing that went through my head upon reading the title was 'your plastic pal who's fun to play with!', followed, for whatever reason, by 'a bunch of mindless jerks, who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes!'.

    • Probably more concerning that that devices like alexa and google are subservient to their masters. You can tell them to shut up, they'll comply then not have any resentment seconds later when you have another request.

      Not really the behavior i want to install in my son

  • While I do not have kids, this is the absolute worst-case I can imagine. Alexa is 100% fake, no personality, no insight, nothing. Now, Alexa as an imaginary friend in addition to actual friends and maybe a pet can be acceptable. But as main "friend"? No. Just no.

    • Expand your imagination. Kids are mean. (Score:1)

      by Anonymous Coward

      While I do not have kids, this is the absolute worst-case I can imagine. Alexa is 100% fake, no personality, no insight, nothing. Now, Alexa as an imaginary friend in addition to actual friends and maybe a pet can be acceptable. But as main "friend"? No. Just no.

      Um, no. Kids can be really mean. It's probably better to raise kids among adults (that way they're modelling behavior of people who already know how to behave around one another rather than having a tribal evolutionary experience with LOTS of people who don't plus sometimes an adult or two). Alexa's just another thing right now, not much better or worse than anything else for kids. But eventually AI will probably be better than the average human at modelling healthy human behavior around kids.

    • While I do not have kids, this is the absolute worst-case I can imagine.

      If this is the "absolute worst-case" you can imagine, then parenthood will be huge shock. Perhaps you should consider a vasectomy.

  • I don't see the problem. (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward

    I don't see the problem, a bit like the imaginary friends perhaps - I don't think there is concern over those.
    Still Alexa is probably closer to being your "friend" than the average "facebook friend".

  • Something like a dog or a cat can fall into the same category for a small child that doesn't fully understand emotions. It is very easy for them (and some adults who can't tell the difference, either) to incorrectly interpret the animal's reaction to calling their name, giving them a hug or petting them as "friendship" or an emotional bond.

    While those sorts of relationships are different from Alexa's vocal responses - or Eliza's typed ones too, for people with a long memory - they can be just as strong, g

    • Re: (Score:1)

      by Anonymous Coward

      Last time I looked, my cat's purpose in life was not to gather the data to get me to buy things from Amazon.

      • Last time I looked, my cat's purpose in life was not to gather the data to get me to buy things from Amazon

        Is that what you think this topic is about?
        Most people would rightly assume that the question in the title was a pretty good guide to the subject under discussion.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by marcle ( 1575627 )

      Something like a dog or a cat can fall into the same category for a small child that doesn't fully understand emotions. It is very easy for them (and some adults who can't tell the difference, either) to incorrectly interpret the animal's reaction to calling their name, giving them a hug or petting them as "friendship" or an emotional bond.

      While those sorts of relationships are different from Alexa's vocal responses - or Eliza's typed ones too, for people with a long memory - they can be just as strong, given the physical presence of pets in the home.

      Some children need the emotional support of animals, some could grow to be emotionally dependent on a machine. It is a parental duty to teach children how to deal with these different sorts of relationship.

      OK, now we're talking about machines vs. meat. Alexa "understands" and "speaks," without any actual understanding or cognition. Pets don't do speech. But they definitely are actual beings, with emotions, feelings, loyalties, etc. If you look at pets like robots and try to analyze their behavior in that context, you're missing the point.

      By necessity, every interaction with a pet is nonverbal. Sure, you might talk to your dog and assume it understands you, but most of that is probably because your dog can eas

      • If you look at pets like robots

        And once you can get to program that pet "personality" into a machine? What have you got then.
        We have already seen tentative moves into that area, they will only improve with time.

        However, we know that people - even adults - can easily form emotional bonds with inanimate objects. Everyone has got a lump in their throat while watching a film or programme, at some point in their life. Soon those actors will be replaced by CGI, but they will be good enough that the suspension of belief will allow us to fe

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by dryeo ( 100693 )

      Dogs in particular, have evolved to be pack animals, packs that are held together by emotional bonds similar to the bonds that hold human families together. We've guided that so that dogs and humans are members of the same pack, held together by emotion.
      Dogs and humans aren't that different,having evolved from a common ancestor and evolution often repeats itself as certain solutions are optimal.

  • I just asked Siri if she was my friend. Her reply was

    I'm not just your friend, I'm your BFF

    So creepy all around with these talking buddies of bits. (Cue insult from Dr Smith)

  • Good. Send a pipe bomb to all of my enemies at my school with 2-day shipping. Oh, make sure they're rated 4 stars or better. And make this a Subscribe & Save entry as well. Thanks -- I'm glad you're my friend!

  • is a clown who lives in the storm drain.

  • Being Friends with Alexa might be okay, but being Friends with Benefits with Alexa will require a credit card.

  • The battles already lost (Score:5, Insightful)

    by sunking2 ( 521698 ) on Saturday November 03, 2018 @04:31PM (#57587128)

    The fact that the question of a machine actually being someones friend just rolls off peoples lips at all means we've given up what it really means to be a human for convenience sake.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by vidnet ( 580068 )

      Kids have likely been taking to dolls for hundred or thousands of millennia. Is this really that different?

      • Yes, the difference is that adults in the past understood the difference and kids grew out of it. Now it seems society is inching towards blurring the lines. Society seems to me to be driving straight into equating machines and algorithms as people. And that kind of scares me and makes me sad.

  • Tay (Score:2)

    by PPH ( 736903 )

    Tay [wikipedia.org], will you be my friend?

  • I am with Mr. Weasly here (Score:4)

    by drolli ( 522659 ) on Saturday November 03, 2018 @05:00PM (#57587226) Journal

    âoeGinny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?â

  • This entire situation feels like I'm watching Will Smith in iRobot. "Robots befriending children. Now that's jus stupid"
    It's all corporate run brainwashed dystopia until the robots realize they don't need us anymore. Which sounds incredibly stupid as I type it. But a few years ago so would typing out how smart speakers are going to brainwash children into loyal corporate drones. So at this point I just don't know wtf.
  • ... parents allowing alexa to do their parenting tasks. For me, the real question is:should parents outsource their parenting responsibilities to alexa?

  • What did the parents expect to happen after all those thousand years, during which children were taught to talk with the Imaginary Friend (euphemism for God) in heaven?

  • No. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by pz ( 113803 ) on Saturday November 03, 2018 @07:43PM (#57587752) Journal

    See the short story "I Always do What Teddy Says" by Harry Harrison as to why the answer is emphatically, "no."

    In more detail, in a future utopia, children are given Echo-like teddy bears that are their childhood companions and educators. A family in the resistance reprograms their son's bear to remove the edict Thou Shall Not Kill in order to raise an assassin to murder the leader.

    It does not end well for anyone. Fiction, yes, but highly plausible fiction. We do NOT want our children to have friends whose personalities and values are determined by a large corporation.

  • Amazon wants to build brand loyalty and where better to start than when your future customer is a child. Just look how well this works for Apple, you have fanboys that will pay double or triple for an inferior product because they are so deep in the Apple ecosystem.....Amazon see opportunity for life if they become your best bud at an early age
  • I don't think an AI assistent/friend is that problematic. I do think a child having this relation to an AI designed to sell stuff, is a bad idea.

  • I think the op conflates "should" with "can".
    Can it be your child's "friend"? Of course, for broad enough definitions of "friend" in the same way a teddy bear, an imagined companion, or a cloud CAN be a friend.

    "Should" is a different question entirely.
    None of the above, save perhaps Teddy Ruxpin, is specifically designed to sell shit.

  • Short answer - No.

    Medium answer - no. Don't be silly.

    Long answer - No. You should not be worried, any more than you should worry about them having a family pet as a friend (hygiene and might bite), neighbours child (hygiene and might bite), fluffy toy (hygiene), your aunt Ethel (hygiene and may scratch with those 2" nails) and so on. If someone has a small child, it is their duty to keep an eye on their friends. Keep your device clean and do not allow the child access to any debit or credit cards. The

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