What EMC Looks For When It's Hiring 223
Yvonne Lee, Community Manager at Dice.com, writes
"Because EMC has expanded through more than 70 acquisitions in eight years — it was hiring even during the recession — and because many of the acquired companies were startups, it is trying to leverage the more dynamic cultures it's inherited and make itself more nimble and innovative. People it hired 'need to be able to move fast and run,' Thus, a key to getting the company's attention is to prove you can do what you say you can. In other words, when Murray asks if you can work fast, you can't just say yes. You'll have to use your previous achievements to prove that you can."
Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Insightful)
I see advertisements like this will be standard for now on, I guess I'll be taking my pageviews elsewhere then...
Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:4, Insightful)
They are owned by Dice.com now. What did you expect?
Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Insightful)
Disclosure that it's an advertisement and not a "news" posting. There have been many discussions recently about tagging advertising (Facebook in appropriate tagging of targeted advertising), and I'd expect at least as much from Slashdot. Unfortunately, I may delete the RSS feed from Slashdot as well if this is really going to be the way things are...
Seriously, behavior like this makes me LESS likely to want to look for a new job through Dice.com and tarnishes the reputation of the companies being highlighted in the posts. I'd be less interested in working for EMC after reading this.
Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:4, Informative)
well you could see that it is submitted by the /. staff .'. it is a slashvertisement. if you want and you have and account you could just filter out all all of the stories submitted by the "slashdot staff" aka dice marketing drones, and only have user/editor submitted stories.
Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Insightful)
Seriously, behavior like this makes me LESS likely to want to look for a new job through Dice.com and tarnishes the reputation of the companies being highlighted in the posts.
You won't miss much, far too many spamming recruiters have taken root on Dice.com anyhow. Dice used to be great, but now it's as bad as Monster.com
Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Insightful)
What did you expect?
The ability to tag something as !story.
I've been waiting for that for some time, actually, given some of the stuff that occasionally congeals on the end of the firehose.
EMC just laid off a lot of people (Score:5, Informative)
Ironic to hear them talking about what they look for when they're hiring - they just laid off a lot of people from their main company (and I think also from VMware.)
Re:Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Stay classy ./ (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
http://slashdot.org/zoo.pl?op=check&uid=2836539 [slashdot.org]
Re: (Score:2)
Slashdot needs revenue to continue and advertising is how they generate it. So what's your problem?
Re: (Score:2)
Slashdot needs revenue to continue and advertising is how they generate it. So what's your problem?
It's like Prada selling knock-offs... it cheapens their brand.
Slashdot advertising low paying / high work hour EMC jobs doesn't do anything for their brand.
I would say advertise jobs for worthwhile companies... but then again worthwhile companies probably have no problems finding employees.
Re:Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Insightful)
I wonder what Slashdot really truly does need revenue for, anymore, to keep running? Its audience is smaller than it has been in many years, so the amount of hardware to maintain it is surely limited. It's not like it's undergoing massive UI redesign or anything. The submissions are from the community. The editing consists of clicking a button and saying "what the fuck, here goes" with minimal "editing" of any kind.
I mean, functionally, Slashdot should be a pretty minimally demanding site. The only need to generate revenue anymore is likely more "because we paid so much to buy the site!" than "because it costs so much to operate it!".
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
The editing consists of clicking a button and saying "what the fuck, here goes" with minimal "editing" of any kind.
You're massively exaggerating the amount of work done by Slashdot editors. At best, they click a button and if they're feeling bery generous, utter "here goes". There sure is hell isn't any editing at all done, definitely nothing that qualifies as "minimal".
Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Interesting)
Re: (Score:3)
It is amazing. Their sales team is atrocious. The reason they are still around is because they continue to bring good hardware to the market, and support it with a solid support organization. You pay through the nose for it, but they meet their SLAs. Just make sure that you read the fine print on those contracts. They will nickle and dime you to death.
Isn't good work better than fast work? (Score:5, Insightful)
Whenever I rush myself, I make mistakes, miss things, etc.. I end up not doing a good job.
Isn't prioritizing speed a bad thing? Better to do the job right than fast.
Comment removed (Score:4, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
Whenever I rush myself, I make mistakes, miss things, etc..
Well, you are not made of the stuff EMC is looking for.
Isn't prioritizing speed a bad thing? Better to do the job right than fast.
There's no such a thing as a "right way" in the "clouds" - (e.g. there will always be machines about to give the holly smoke out. You do need to run and run fast to replace the failing machine)
Re: (Score:2)
Yeah, I was going to say: work smart, not fast.
Re: (Score:2)
It's a balance. If you can't do the job with as high of quality as someone else in the same time or faster, you're going to lose out to the other guy.
Master chef's can turn out much higher quality food much faster than your average cook. That's why they work for fancy restaurants and get paid lots of money.
When people want quality and speed, they want experts.
Re: (Score:2)
Master chefs for fancy restaurants don't turn all that much. They order around a bunch of other chefs, who do the grunt work in the kitchen.
Re: (Score:2)
In real life, it's pick one.
Re: (Score:2)
Fast, good, cheap; pick any two.
In real life, it's pick one.
In real real life, workers don't even get to choose which one.
Re: (Score:2)
Fast, good, cheap; pick any two.
In real life, it's pick one.
In real real life, workers don't even get to choose which one.
And neither do customers.
D.I.C.E. (Score:2)
What EMS is looking for when hiring:
Demonstrate value
Inspire Hope
C++
Engage Physically
Re: (Score:3)
Inspire Hope? Geez, who writes this stuff?
Them [despair.com] Even tough it doesn't stop a good chunk of this world to seek an unwarranted one.
yeah, just what I want (Score:5, Funny)
when Murray asks if you can work fast
Yeah just what I want in my storage gear, the fastest to market. Eh, reliability, long life, ease of use, who needs that stuff.
I think I'm done here...
Re: (Score:2)
when Murray asks if you can work fast
Yeah just what I want in my storage gear, the fastest to market. Eh, reliability, long life, ease of use, who needs that stuff.
I think I'm done here...
Why... this is exactly the reason fast runners are required for the job! To find another stupid person to be parted with her/his money before the competition does.
Re: (Score:2)
who... (Score:4, Funny)
...give as a fuck who this guy says? Community manager?
Re: (Score:2)
...give as a fuck who this guy says? Community manager?
In Soviet Slashdotistan, community manages you!*
* "It's funny because it's true." - Homer Simpson
What EMC is *really* looking for (Score:5, Insightful)
What they're really after is people who will work 60+ hour weeks for low pay. Oh, and if you have some computer skills too, that's good.
Re: (Score:2)
That's what most companies are looking for. This is why I'm a freelancer. I have enough work to keep me busy well over 40 hours a week and get paid for every single hour I work.
WTF? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
EMC Corporation is an American multinational corporation that offers data storage, information security, virtualization, and cloud computing products and services which enable businesses to store, manage, protect, and analyze massive volumes of data. EMC's target markets include large FORTUNE 500 companies as well as small business across various vertical markets.[2] It is headquartered in Hopkinton, Massachusetts.
EMC Page [wikipedia.org]
They did 20 billion in revenue last year so they are not exac
Re: (Score:2)
Only "Enterprise" companies are stupid enough to buy their overpriced shit.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:WTF? (Score:4)
Who the eff is EMC???
Well, it was Run EMC originally. A Run DMC tribute group that ended up washing out when the LA gangstas took over the music scene, so they moved on to data storage and virtualisation.
Re: (Score:2)
Dear Dice.com (Score:5, Interesting)
Re: (Score:2)
Dice is going to KILL slashdot (Score:5, Insightful)
Dice thinks they are being smart to try to mask a plug for a company. They did it with redhat and now emc. It has already left a bad taste in my mouth and overtime I'll come here less and less.
If you are the smart guys at DICE you have been told.
Re: (Score:2)
I dunno. I'm kind of enjoying it - I need to fill my daily quota of snarkiness and complaining. These kind of threads are perfect for that.
Re: (Score:2)
naah ... I can handle a story like this one every day or so. What almost drove me away not too long ago was the stream of flamebait mobile stories slashdot was publishing not so long ago. Those stories were literally tearing the community apart for pageviews.
Thankfully, things have calmed down to the point where discussions don't fly off the rails at the mention of iOS or Android anymore.
Kept me waiting for 2 1/2 hours (Score:2, Interesting)
Ironic a company that wants fast would keep a candidate waiting for two and half hours in a barely air conditioned lobby. I only stayed because the recrutor begged me to stay. I asume he had some quota to fill. Finally some frat brother type finally arrives to give me a precusory 15 minute meeting which he wraps up by telling me all the reasons he doesn't like me. Needless to say I haven't exactly hurt myself advocating anything EMC in the last ten years.
Sounds fun (Score:5, Funny)
When I woke up this morning, I realized that I wasn't dealing with enough competing corporate factions, and that my boss wasn't tracking my performance closely enough. In the past I'd given consideration to getting involved in slavery, but most of the options out there didn't align with my professional goals. Thank you, /., for giving me this career lead.
To Yvonne Lee, from everybody reading this: (Score:5, Informative)
Please go fuck yourself. That's all.
We need to nip this in the bud. (Score:5, Insightful)
Wow, what an unbelievably horrible story. Everyone: we need to send a message to /.'s newest corporate overlords. If you don't have mod points, post a comment saying how shitty this is. Seriously -- one line is fine. If you do have mod points, mod up every comment that says so. I want to see 1,000 comments and 100 +5s by the end of the night. MAYBE they'll notice.
Posting anon so no one thinks I'm just karma whoring. I've been coming here 15 years, mainly for the comments, but enough crap like this and I'll quit reading because I know all the smart people who give a shit won't stick around.
Re:We need to nip this in the bud. (Score:5, Insightful)
I don't have mod points, but I hope this post gets more attention to your post. I agree!
Re:We need to nip this in the bud. (Score:5, Interesting)
Concur fully. I think we should choose a standard tag to convey our feeling too... as much as I'm tempted to use "fuckdice" I think I'm going to go tasteful(-ish) and punny with "nodice". I recommend from here on out if we something Dice does we don't like, tag it nodice. Maybe they can pick up on pattern recognition.
Re:We need to nip this in the bud. (Score:5, Insightful)
"Maybe they can pick up on pattern recognition."
One possible pattern would be everyone heading for the door.
Seriously, the time I suspected would come, has finally come--Slashdot has now gone over to the enemy. The Corporate PR/Advert/Cronyism monster has arrived, and begins to feed. What we now see as simple product placement will eventually turn into censorship and biased "opinion" pieces.
So, who is going to start Slashdot 2.0?
Re: (Score:2)
You don't need another Slashdot, just go over to Reddit. Everything works better over there.
too late, /. started dying in sept 2009!!! (Score:3)
.
I thought that the code that runs this
Re:Recommend alternate sites (Score:5, Interesting)
I been coming here since 1999. And now would like to move on. Can you recommend any other sites. I would really love to move on.
Thanks.
Re:Recommend alternate sites (Score:5, Insightful)
The only other tech site worth a damn & with original content, I believe, is Ars Technica. But the community discussion isn't as good as Slashdots [was?] - probably because it's not threaded.
Re:Recommend alternate sites (Score:4, Informative)
Check out Reddit. The site works much better than Slashdot (especially the moderation system), the only problem is that the tech forums aren't as active.
Re:We need to nip this in the bud. (Score:5, Informative)
Re:We need to nip this in the bud. (Score:4, Informative)
With this level of person posting here, I don't think reason/rationality might help...this is a Silicon Valley B-Side person desperate for any job, who is willing to mess up slashdot for a living. She has few other options.
Re:We need to nip this in the bud. (Score:5, Informative)
Re:We need to nip this in the bud. (Score:5, Insightful)
15 years here at least, and now we have this.
What is the point of even sticking around any more?
Pretty sad state of affairs.
Re: (Score:2)
15 years here at least, and now we have this.
What is the point of even sticking around any more?
Pretty sad state of affairs.
People have been saying its been time to go for years. The amount of useful discussion per article is as low as I can remember. Even the trolls are not putting in the effort to be amusing and offensive.
Re:We need to nip this in the bud. (Score:5, Insightful)
Wow, what an unbelievably horrible story. Everyone: we need to send a message to /.'s newest corporate overlords. If you don't have mod points, post a comment saying how shitty this is. Seriously -- one line is fine. If you do have mod points, mod up every comment that says so. I want to see 1,000 comments and 100 +5s by the end of the night. MAYBE they'll notice.
It's particularly annoying because it would actually be cool to have a designated place for die-hard slashdotters to talk about employment issues, good and bad places to work, etc. But that wouldn't work for Dice, because we might end up insulting - or worse, telling the truth about prominent companies. So, our community management team [sic] instead brings us absurdly disingenuous stories about how great their clients are, as long as you have the Right Stuff.
Dice is horrible (Score:5, Informative)
Who else would promote a job with a company thats acquired 10 times a year as some kind of golden ticket? Every one of those acquisitions comes with layoffs and a whole new, cheaper staff - that's what nimble is a codeword for.
I listed my resume on Dice once, about 5 years ago. Worst mistake of my life. I don't even live in the US anymore, and still get about 2 dozen spams from con artist "head hunters" telling me about the latest exciting opportunity to be fucked over by some two week contract in timbucktoo.
Now I get spam on /. too! Hip hip hooray!
Bullshit Bingo (Score:5, Insightful)
leverage the more dynamic cultures it's inherited and make itself more nimble and innovative
A hint to the recruiters and advertisers at Dice.com and EMC: Slashdot readers generally aren't very impressed by this sort of Bullshit Bingo. These phrases you're spewing are designed to sound impressive, but they don't actually mean much of anything – other than "I've got an MBA and I'm trying desperately to prove my worth."
People it hired 'need to be able to move fast and run
Translation: They exploit the hell out of their employees.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
People it hired 'need to be able to move fast and run
Translation: They exploit the hell out of their employees.
You need to know how to run away from EMC. If they catch (or hire) you, you've lost!
Guess I'm the wrong guy ... (Score:5, Insightful)
Clearly my preferred strategy of studying problems, thinking about them, and writing a solution that correctly solves all the problems we can come up with would be utterly unacceptable there. They clearly prefer the strategy of "rapid prototyping", dealing with only a few problems (probably those that customers have reported), and not much bothering with testing the "solution" before delivering it.
It's good to know such things before applying for a job.
And their strategy does seem rather common in the business world, which explains the large percentage of buggy, poorly-designed stuff that we see all the time.
Re: (Score:3)
It's good to know such things before applying for a job.
It might also be good to know such things before buying their companies' products. Just sayin'...
Re:Guess I'm the wrong guy ... (Score:4, Funny)
And their strategy does seem rather common in the business world, which explains the large percentage of buggy, poorly-designed stuff that we see all the time.
Like dice.com?
Oh this is so full of BS (Score:5, Interesting)
Almost every company I ever worked for fear competent people.
They identify them early and the managers smear you with shit before you can even shine.
This occured with an EMC subsidiary, VMware were two managers on my floor were sociopaths. Made life very interesting. They were not interested in what was good for the company but what made their bonusses inflate. These sociopaths were in Burlington, Ontario and the VP of the diviision may Kim Il Jong look like a very subtle egoless individual.
When I dared take a risk and moved up the food chain to expose the incompetence, I was shortly terminated. Many of the new procedures increased our case time thru poor tool selection while pressure was increased due to increased business to terminate cases in shorter order. In essence VMware became Microsoft to say reboot your machine and things will be fine. BS -- funny how much of the management where ex-MS people who had no concept of UNIX-RT kernel issues which vmware was loosely based on. They also raised the barriours to log new bugs and during my period there working on failure cases, the time to resolving failures increased from 1-2 months to 6-12 months because the teams resolving the issues were moved overseas where there was a resistance to resolve issues.
In another company, I on my third day of employment I exposed 20 failure points that would escalate to various serious issues -- of course being a good employee one does not blow away a design without providing a solution. Did that in a 5 page memo -- every criticism had a solution. I was yelled at and screamed at by the VP for a good hour using every major expletive possible on who the f*** I was. One year later all 20 failure points exploded into 20 major forest fires -- I was brought into a tiger team to resolve the issues and eventually I brought up my previous memo -- the VPs freaked, the President/CEO was shocked and wanted to meet with me when he came back from vacation -- was terminated mid-way thru his vacation. Suspected it was cover your a** time.
No -- companies do NOT want you to expose their weaknesses because it marks the previous management and it affects the present bonusses of the present management.
This is just major HR boulderdash. Just total BS to identify people they really don't want.
This was written by somebody who has no experience in a major corporation.
my two cents.
A frustrated engineer with 30+ years experiense.
Re: (Score:2)
Dice.com? (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm more of a maximize synergies kinda person (Score:5, Insightful)
If anything, these thinly veiled plugs just show that Dice, itself, is trying to "leverage the dynamic culture" of /. Keep it up Dice and you know who else needs "to be able to move fast and run"? Everyone visiting this site because they have better things to do than read non-articles like this.
What I look for when I'm job hunting: (Score:4, Informative)
Not EMC! Had to deal with them on multiple products at my last job and they were horrible. Their own professional services people would tell us so regularly. Their salesmen consistently lied about product capabilities and management at my company ate it up. Millions of dollars were given to them for what amounts to shelfware and their storage was swapped out for Hitachi because it also didn't live up to the promises. But because they're a "partner company" it was the ops department's job to eat as much shit as EMC could spew at us and like it.
I setup a dice.com account once... (Score:5, Insightful)
EMC = Evil, Mean and Cruel (Score:5, Informative)
My wife worked there for several years. One friend commented when she started that it was a great place to have on your resume, since you'd be looking for a job after the layoff came. Sure enough, layoff comes, she gets a package, and now people are impressed that she worked there. The culture was best described as "macho", her management was from the "mushroom management" school, and the outsourcing stories hilarious. I'm amazed the place stays open.
By "Slashdot staff" (Score:3)
...and here was me thinking the editors had no shame...
I miss CmdrTaco (Score:5, Insightful)
[x] Disable advertising (Score:5, Funny)
Hey, it's stopped working!
Re: (Score:3)
Where is everyone going? (Score:3)
Re: (Score:2)
It's not all bad (Score:2)
Now, not only do I know never to post a profile on Dice.com and never search Dice.com for potential employees, I should also never ever accept a job offer from EMC. And probably should also avoid using their products if I can manage it, since they show all the signs of making their tech team work insane hours to churn out overpriced garbage.
Feedback... (Score:3)
I sent an email from my work address. Maybe everyone else that sees this dribble should too.
Re: (Score:2)
From: Ryan Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 4:57 PM To: 'feedback@slashdot.org' Subject: Dice.com influence over slashdot needs to stop right now This is a vain attempt to save a website I’ve been reading and contributing too since 1998. Dice.com, you need to stop. Just stop. Like right now. Another post full of buzzwords from a PC magazine hack about what employers want will make me not visit
Depends on your boss (Score:3)
What is EMC looking for? (Score:2)
TLDR? (Score:2)
How about DRDC?
Didn't read, Don't care.
--
Had to deal with those wizards as part of my day job.
They made the comcast robots sound useful.
Perhaps needless to say, my company found a different vendor for our multi million dollar backup solution.
State of the Slashdot (Score:2)
Dice. This crap came from dice. Dice stop it before you go too far.
NO idea.... (Score:2)
your parent killed my parent. (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:your parent killed my parent. (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:your parent killed my parent. (Score:4)
We don't delete comments (there are plenty of negative ones here to read as proof). I'm assuming the post you are referring to is http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3455889&cid=42879165 [slashdot.org]. Although I'm not sure why you can't see it since it at a "2" right now. Are you only looking at comments rated 3+.
Time to get out the black flags (Score:4, Insightful)
I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Re: (Score:3)
Re:Move fast and run (Score:5, Insightful)
Nah, there goes 10% of the potential candidates, the ones they'd want. "Move fast and run" is synonymous with "coding sweat shop". It just takes some experience to pick up on it. I'm sure they'll find what they're looking for, but not in the manner that they want, they'll get something up and running and then invest the bulk cost into maintaining it, but quality of work is something that is very hard to come by with expansion.
Re:Move fast and run (Score:4, Interesting)
I had an interview at a company that EMC owns. first round went well. really well. I came back a 2nd day for another round and it 'went sideways'. maybe it was supposed to. their mission was to show me how little I knew. 'dick size comparison' is what some call it.
I didn't know some algorithm trick they were asking and so I answered honestly "I'd search for the solution online and then adapt it to the problem at hand". he said 'really, is that your answer?'. I said yes. he looked at his sheet, wrote something down and ended the interview. note, he was at least 20 years my junior. yes, dick size comparison.
my approach is real-world. I stopped carrying around memorized algorithms and I now look for the classic solutions and adapt them or even use them as-is. life is too short to waste greymatter on memorization.
I don't think much of EMC or the companies they own.
in a way, its good that slashvertisements come to the surface. we can then comment on how BAD some of the sponsors are. in a way, that's a useful service.
don't bother with EMC. they are young kids who are out to show off. fuck that shit.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Posted by 'Slashdot Staff' (Score:5, Insightful)
While we love to rag on the editors here, they are still part of the /. community like the rest of us.
So I'm guessing the use of "Slashdot Staff" in the byline is their small act of protest against this sort of advertising being posted as a story.
Pre-Dice I recall we had one Ask Slashdot story that was sponsored by Sourceforge. We complained and it never happened again. I'd like to think complaints will still have an effect today, but I'm not as hopeful this time...