Who's Your Favorite Vampire Hunter?
Displaying poll results.25651 total votes.
Who's Your Favorite Vampire Hunter?
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
JCVH? (Score:2, Funny)
Whatever happened to Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter?
Re:JCVH? (Score:5, Funny)
The Jews got him.
Re:JCVH? (Score:5, Funny)
The Jews got him.
Its worse than that, a Jewish zombie got him. I have it on good authority that he walked out of his tomb
Re:JCVH? (Score:4, Informative)
A zombie is an animated corpse brought back to life by mystical means, such as witchcraft or from illness, disease or plague.
The resurrection body, which is the type that Christ had after His resurrection according to Biblical Scriptures, possess several properties
Zombies clearly are completely different from a resurrected, glorified or incorruptible body.
Re: (Score:2, Insightful)
It's nice that you make up your own definitions to help you feel good about your self while you spread lies and suppress people.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
The level of bigotry and smug arrogance sometimes exhibited here is "amazing".
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Sometimes??
Re:JCVH? (Score:4, Insightful)
When it comes to Religion on Slashdot, you are allowed to believe anything you want - as long as you believe in no god at all, or profess a mocking belief in the flying spaghetti monster. It's pretty obnoxious, but unfortunately Slashdot has become far more puerile than it used to be. Used to be that the trolls would be modded down. Not only are they often modded UP these days, but anything that even hints at a belief in anything above and beyond what is "allowed" here is modded down into oblivion.
Citiation Needed (Score:3)
By whom? Was the translator really unbiased? Were there any empirical tests done? How does it read in the original Klingon?
Re:Citiation Needed (Score:5, Insightful)
>Were there any empirical tests done?
You, uhh, you mean like the ones we've performed on zombies?
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Re:JCVH? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:JCVH? (Score:5, Insightful)
Why are you even bothering to describe the difference between two fictional things that both rose from the dead?
Didn't you ever wonder whether Iron Man could beat Captain America?
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Re:JCVH? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:JCVH? (Score:5, Informative)
Frankenstein's Monster is nearly brain dead, is fashioned from multiple pieces of many people, was built by a man, and is easily destoyed
Actually Frankenstein's monster was highly intelligent in the original text; the whole moaning and stumbling thing only occurs immediately after he is "born", and he acts like a monstrously large child. By the end of the book he was articulate, well-read, and driven by bitterness over his lonely existence.
Even in the Universal films, he develops feelings and emotions, although for some reason never learns to speak. Keeps the "child-like" thing going for the duration.
Re:JCVH? (Score:4, Insightful)
Soooo... he was a lich? I mean, he resurrected with his old wounds intact (hence, the "doubting Thomas" incident with the finger in Christ's side, which went into the hummus afterwords, causing the other Apostles and Disciples great discomfort).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lich [wikipedia.org]
Re:JCVH? (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:3)
it was a pun, and a moderately good one. i knew the etymology of lich, but i didn't know that english churches had gates for ferrying in corpses.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
There are differences, certainly, but the single, primary property that defines a zombie is that it is a corpse brought back to life by mystical means. The Christ depicted in the Bible meets this criterion; therefore, he is a zombie.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
A zombie is an animated corpse brought back to life by mystical means, such as witchcraft or from illness, disease or plague.
The resurrection body, which is the type that Christ had after His resurrection according to Biblical Scriptures, possess several properties
Zombies clearly are completely different from a resurrected, glorified or incorruptible body.
You're right, definitely not a zombie. Sounds more like a vampire or maybe a vampire hybrid AKA "day walker". He certainly has a thing for blood, seeing as he makes all of his followers drink it.
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I bought the book "How To Raise Your IQ By Eating Gifted Children" for the same reason ;)
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Hey, I eat children. Haven't seen the book though.
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Go watch it.
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Hell yeah. 'Everybody Get Laid Tonight' is on my iPod right now. "He is the Lord of Light...and he commands you...GET LAID!"
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He gave up the career to become a renegade cop [youtube.com].
Re:JCVH? (Score:5, Funny)
Think about it:
1) He dies, then lays in a crypt for a few days before rising as one of the undead, 2) He creates followers by having them drink his blood, 3) He survived in a desert without any food or water for 40 days & nights
Vampire.
Re: (Score:2)
Don't know....can't even find it on DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311361/ [imdb.com]
I suspect the lesbian vampires got him.
None (Score:5, Informative)
Captain N (Score:3)
Anite Blake (Score:2, Interesting)
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No, truly, Ed the master. Although Anita is learning fast.
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Anita Blake, because the only thing better than violence, is sex!
Sorry, that's not sex, at least not any good sex. First Anita's a prude, then later, she becomes a slut, and still, any amount of sex in the stories is in the minority to the amount of socially disfunctional bickering and threatening that goes one before and after between those involved. I seriously wonder what traumatized Mrs. Hamilton so much that she would have her protagonists act like that.
Besides, the fairy series of hers had much better sex if that's what you're looking for.
Severely missing option... (Score:4, Interesting)
Simon Belmont and the extended Belmont clan. Far more vampire slaying action, much less angst.
Takes one to kill one - D and Alucard (Score:5, Informative)
I'd say that D and Alucard (of Hellsing, not Castlevania) are about as good as it gets. Honorable mention to the Belmont clan, if for no other reason than not throwing their hands up and saying "fuck it" after Dracula's 257403827th reincarnation.
D and Allie, though, are the only 2 out of this whole set who are match for each other, considering how powerful Alucard is implied to be when he takes the gloves off (literally and figuratively), and the fact that D was sired by Dracula and was still alive over 10,000 years later.
Then again, there is Jefferson Twilight, but...are we limiting the vampires hunted to those of the dark-skinned persuasion?
Only if you like easy mode (Score:5, Insightful)
D and Alucard (and Buffy and Blade and the Belmonts and so on) all have it easy. They're basically on an even footing with the vampires they hunt, and that's being generous to the prey.
It's way more impressive when a regular Joe, like Van Helsing, manages to succeed. I assume, of course, we're talking about Bram Stoker's Van Helsing, not one of the various super-powered re-imaginings.
Re:Only if you like easy mode (Score:4, Informative)
And even better, Prof. Abronsius of course!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fearless_Vampire_Killers [wikipedia.org]
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Re:Only if you like easy mode (Score:5, Insightful)
D and Alucard (and Buffy and Blade and the Belmonts and so on) all have it easy. They're basically on an even footing with the vampires they hunt, and that's being generous to the prey.
I hear that argument a lot, usually as a reason for why Superman is a boring character. "He can do anything, why is that interesting?"
Basically, if you're reading Superman comics, or watching Buffy, to see heroes in a physical fight against their opponents, you're missing the point. And quite a few Superman writers, especially for movies and TV Series have missed the point (except for early Lois & Clark in the early seasons). The story isn't about their abilities. It's about how all those powers still aren't enough to fix basic problems we encounter day to day.
Sure, physically, Vampires were no match for Buffy. Then again, she had relationship issues, could not save her mother from death, and when Angel turned evil, she had the opportunity and ability to kill him several times, but couldn't bring herself to do so. As a result of her inaction, other people died, and she had to deal with that. Eventually, she did have to kill him, but at the moment she did so, her physical strength wasn't a variable, since he had been given his soul back and was utterly confused about what was going on. Had Cordelia been there, she could have physically run that sword through Angel just as easily.
The later seasons deal with similar issues. Oftentimes her strength actually gets in her way. And that's what stories about super-powered individuals should be about.
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The D programming language is pretty interesting. I did not know about the vampire-hunting feature until now.
Re:Takes one to kill one - D and Alucard (Score:4, Funny)
It's a downloadable library and doesn't come with the distro. Generally I don't find out about features when I'm coding until I need it and start searching. Perl has a zombie killing module and Python has some excellent constrictors but until you need them, you don't know they're there.
[John]
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*snerk*
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Alucard is a classic example of God Mode Su [tvtropes.org]. Every episode just follows the same formula: Seras and other infantry trying and failing yet again to defeat yet another monster-of-the-moment before Alucard gets off his arrogant ass towards the very end of the episode, effortlessly obliterates the opposition after spending some time toying with him/her (Pretending to be defeated for a moment is his most common routine) and goes back to his hole.
Really, after about four episodes it becomes repetitive and boring.
Stephanie Meyer (Score:5, Insightful)
If "Twilight" is anything to go by, Stephanie Meyer is trying to kill the traditional vampire stone dead
Re:Stephanie Meyer (Score:5, Funny)
If "Twilight" is anything to go by, Stephanie Meyer is trying to kill the traditional vampire stone dead
you just have to understand that the series makes much more sense if you consider the possibility of them not being actual vampires, but just really, really confused fairies.
Which Buffy? (Score:3)
Which Buffy? The TV show or the movie?
The movie wins hands down for campiness and not taking itself seriously. About the only better grade B, teen angst movie was "Earth Girls are Easy."
Cheers,
Dave
Re:Which Buffy? (Score:4, Insightful)
Yup. Also Sarah Michelle Gellar. Yum! :)
Re: (Score:2)
I've *never* seen *anything* whatsoever attractive in SMG.
Charisma Carpenter, OTOH, was a Real Woman back in the Cordelia Chase days.
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What was really attractive about SMG was that she was Buffy, of course!
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Eh, different tastes. :) Although I won't dispute you over Charisma Carpenter's hotness, either.
Re:Which Buffy? (Score:4, Insightful)
My girlfriend and I always prefered Willow (Allyson Hannigan) over Buffy (SMG), but SMG was pretty darned hot in her own right.
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Yeah, but not IRL. Though she is married (to Alexis Denisof, which makes me laugh - I can't separate him from his character on Buffy & Angel).
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And what is wrong with that?
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Missing option (Score:4, Insightful)
Where's the "Cowboy Neal" option when you need it?
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The "Vampires are people too" is the cowboy neal option for this poll. At least that's what I went with...
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Hey, I am a vampire. Have some respect, you insensitive clod!
Re:Missing option (Score:5, Funny)
Hey, I am a vampire.
Once again you misspelled "virgin".
Re: (Score:3)
Once again you misspelled "virgin".
Either that, or he misspelled "clot".
Missing option... (Score:4, Informative)
Frog Brothers (Score:4)
Re: (Score:3)
Yeah, The Lost Boys is one of my favorite movies. I first saw that as a freshman in college, in the dormitory big-screen TV room, slightly drunk, with 100 other cheering, slightly drunk college students... It always brings back that fun feeling when I watch it.
The Belmonts (Score:3)
Blackula hunter? (Score:3, Informative)
Jefferson Twilight, if we're including blackula exclusive hunters.
Alucard (Score:2)
definitely missing option. If you include D, how can you leave out Alucard?
Sookie! (Score:5, Funny)
Sookie Stackhouse is by far the best vampire 'hunter' ;-)
Where's Jack Crow!? (Score:2)
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Also agree, came here to say the same thing. Plus Felix.
van Helsing, not Van Helsing (Score:5, Informative)
He is Dutch and his first name is Abraham, not Van. (Wikipedia spells it Van too, maybe they got it from the book?) This is a typical Dutch naming convention that often confuses English speakers. A lot of Dutch names will have van (from) or van de (from the) or variations thereof: van den, van der. When last names were made compulsory under Napoleonic rule, people often chose the place they lived at, in or near as a descriptor. So Jan who lived near a mill (molen) became Jan van der Molen. Piet who lived on a dike became Piet van Dijk. In Flanders this is the norm, it is more likely to have a Belgian called Vandermolen then van der Molen.
Dutchmen who emigrated to the US often contracted their name to avoid confusion: Vanderbilt for instance.
Re:van Helsing, not Van Helsing (Score:5, Informative)
It should still sort under H, not V.
Major derailment ahead - please skip if not interested in sorting, I18N or librarians.
American registries are pretty much impossible to find anything in, because of the sorting/catalogization rules. Except from screwing up prefixes like da/de/der/van/von/mac/bin/ben, they totally disregard anything but the last word, not understanding that one can have a legal surname that consists of several words.
Abraham van Helsing gets put under "V".
Jon de Linde gets put under "D".
Preben Steenstrup Jensen gets put under "J".
John Twelve Hawks gets put under "H".
Not only are these wrong, but it's not even consistent.
Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink - who knows!
Or people with no last name, like Elizabeth Alexandra Mary. I wouldn't be surprised if she gets sorted under "I" or "B".
Then there are letters that don't exist in US ASCII, and ligatures. Then, sorting seems completely arbitrary - sometimes based on which US letter it mostly resembles, and sometimes based on pronunciation, but only of single letters.
You might find a double-s sorted as either a single s or as a B, but seldom as double-s. And a thorn can be sorted as either a P or D or Y or T, but not as TH, because multi-character sorting seems to be a concept not understood.
Similar for ligatures - when Phoebe is spelled with "oe" as separate letters, you will find it before "Phocoena", but when spelled with a ligature, it likely goes before, because the ligature gets mapped to "o" so they can do single-character sorts. Aegis with "Ae" as separate letters comes before Abraham, but Aegis with an Ae ligature will usually be sorted after Abraham.
Incomplete and ethnocentric CS education might have to take some of the blame for this - while good multi-character sorting algorithms were published 30-40 years ago, I haven't ever seen one in American text books, which still seem to advocate that US ASCII with character/letter equivalence is state of the art.
And I have no idea of how many times I've seen a web form that will reject last names with a space in it, or if accepting it, puts the first parts of the last name as a middle name.
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Yeh, love it when you book a flight and they tell you to spell your name exactly as on the passport. Then you get to the airport and their system is all messed up because it contains an ø
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Yeh, love it when you book a flight and they tell you to spell your name exactly as on the passport. Then you get to the airport and their system is all messed up because it contains an ø
I've had that happen. "Why does your passport say Søren while your ticket says Soeren?" Because the shitty American airline company sells tickets in a country without being prepared to handle the language of that country, that's why!
I've also committed the sin of having multiple unhyphenated last names while entering the US.
If I enter "Walks In Peace" (obviously not my name) when booking, the airline puts "Peace" as the last name, so DHS goes gorilla on me because the name doesn't match what's on th
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And I have no idea of how many times I've seen a web form that will reject last names with a space in it, or if accepting it, puts the first parts of the last name as a middle name.
Here's a link I've had bookmarked for a few years about all the wrong assumptions programmers make about peoples names. (I.e., what not to do if you are building an application where users enter their names.)
Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Names [kalzumeus.com]
Announce: Vampire Protection Assoc opening soon (Score:2)
(need to restock with silver bullets and garlic; won't be long now...)
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If you are fighting off the new (improved) Twilight type of vampire, all you need is good taste.
Missing Option ... (Score:2)
Help- trying to remember old vampire novel (Score:3)
I recall that it was actually halfway decent and was trying to think of the title the other day but now it's driving me nuts. Help me Internet!
Re:Help- trying to remember old vampire novel (Score:5, Informative)
this one [amazon.com]?
my search query was "novel vampire inquisitor brothers spain"
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Missing links (Score:2)
as I recognized only some of the options (and I'm sure I'm not the only one) here's a list of WP links:
* Buffy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer [wikipedia.org]
* Blade https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blade_(film) [wikipedia.org]
* Frog Brothers are mentioned in https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lost_Boys [wikipedia.org]
* Abe Lincoln https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Lincoln,_Vampire_Hunter_(novel) [wikipedia.org]
* Van Helsing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Van_Helsing [wikipedia.org]
* D https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_Hunter_D [wikipedia.org]
* Lycans https://en.wikipedia.org [wikipedia.org]
Re:Missing links (Score:4, Insightful)
People here seem to be drawing a direct connection between the Underworld movies and the Lycan option. While I recognize that those movies probably popularized the usage it's not actually original to them. People who have animalistic shapeshifting abilities are generally called Lycanthropes in the fictional works where they exist. The word Lycans is just an obvious shortening. And imo Werewolves and the other varieties of Lycanthropes are easily the most interesting hunters of Vampires.
My two favorites are... (Score:2)
- The Monster Squad [imdb.com]
Won't somebody please think of the bloodsuckers? (Score:2)
No, I'm not refering to any particular political party or business (though it's tempting...)
The Doctor, obviously. (Score:5, Informative)
Subject Missing (Score:2)
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+1!!!
Professor Abronsious of course! (Score:3)
Great! The blood-sucking Brady Bunch. (Score:2)
Death by Stereo.
'nuff said.
Von Goosewing of course. (Score:3)
Re:Abraham Lincoln? (Score:5, Informative)
No, he's not the Cowboy Neal option. There really is a novel about Honest Abe being a vampire hunter. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Lincoln,_Vampire_Hunter_(novel) [wikipedia.org]
Also a movie has been made of it. Haven't read the book or seen the movie, though.
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Re:Abraham Lincoln? (Score:5, Insightful)
You knowingly watched a movie with "Arnold Schwarzenegger in HERCULES, in New York". You have no one to blame for your two lost hours but yourself.
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You are not alone.
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If you didn't care, you wouldn't nave bothered to look. You may want to not care, but your action say you do care.
and this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X58RPS665V0 [youtube.com]
Re: (Score:3)
Definitely. At the risk of starting a nerd fight (oh, fuck it, who cares? It's fun, let's start a nerd fight), D would hand Buffy her ass on a silver platter. Sunlight and staking are really the only tricks Buffy had for killing vampires, and we've seen D survive both. Keeping with the part of vampire lore that says strength and age are directly proportional, it stands to reason that if Buffy failed to permanently dispatch Dracula around the turn of the millennium (which would put him at a few hundred y