With one-time-only use of a cloning machine, I would:
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Forever Alone (Score:5, Funny)
Picked "Clone a spouse/Significant Other" :(
Poll still says 0 votes
Dead or alive? (Score:3)
TFA was unclear as to whether you're limited to living persons/animals (one option was "pet").
A lot of the more interesting choices for the "someone else" category are no longer alive - Adolf Hitler, Mohandas Gandhi, and so forth. Probably some of the Parent/Grandparent choices are also no longer alive. If one could clone a dead person, would the clone also be dead and in a similar state of putrefaction, or are we talking about bringing them back to life as newborn infants, or at some arbitrary or specif
one option was pet (Score:3, Funny)
"one option was 'pet'"
Yes, that could have been merged with "spouse" without any significant loss.
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Well, if cloning was not restricted to living things, I'd borrow a gold bar, clone it, and give back the original. :-)
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Thinking the same thing - anyone else here reminded of Jesus Christ Supercop [youtube.com]? :)
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Then continue to clone over and over again until random flaws in the cloning process eventually create a cloning machine without the one-time use restriction, or just let it continue on until it gains self awareness, creates some killer robots and wipes out you and the rest of humanity out of some altruistic motive to save the earth.
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Picked "Clone a spouse/Significant Other" Poll still says 0 votes :(
That's because your clone already voted. And voted for something else, too...
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How about cloning just a single mate you want, but then they might still reject you. [sighs]
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Picked "Clone a spouse/Significant Other"
I have a copy of a cartoon I picked up in Turkey years ago. It showed a Sultan returning home at 3AM, tiptoeing along, holding his shoes in his hands.
.. all holding rolling pins .. tapping them in their hands like clubs.
And just around the corner were 4 wives
So be careful who you clone!
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oh yeah, like having two people who think you're a dork is better than one
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oh yeah, like having two people who think you're a dork is better than one
Hey, so long as they don't get jealous of each other, I'm golden!
One to cook, one to clean, two to bang - what's not to love about that?
What kind of cloning machine are we talking about? (Score:5, Insightful)
Didn't vote, I don't know what kind of cloning machine we're talking about: The hard sci-fi kind that doesn't copy any information in the brain and produces a baby or the soft sci-fi kind that somehow copies all information in the brain (evil bit optional) and produces an adult. I'd have very different answers depending on the type.
Re:Forever Alone (Score:4, Funny)
Why would you want to clone a spose/Significant other? It's hard enough keeping one of them happy.
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I answered I'd clone myself because I'd clone myself to be my significant other. I am considering which gender.
Heinlein would be proud.
Re:The Computer Is Your Friend! (Score:2)
There are no bugs! This is treason, citizen. The Computer is your friend! If you were meant to have an additional clone, then the computer gave it to you!
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The Computer has already provided you with vouchers for 5 additional clones for free! The Computer is Your Friend. And for a nominal fee, you can create additional clones.
[John]
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Wouldn't that be like incest...
Not unless you're already married to your sister/brother...
Got something you need to tell us?
Clone Kate Beckinsale (Score:5, Funny)
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(Looks fun though...)
I'd clone the future significant other (Score:4, Funny)
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logic error detected. aborting.
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Re:I'd clone the future significant other (Score:5, Funny)
Nobody (Score:4, Insightful)
We're badly overpopulated as it is, and no end in sight.
Re:Nobody (Score:5, Insightful)
I call shenanigans.
You get offered a one-time use of an amazing, unheard-of, otherwise futuristic piece of technology, and you wouldn't use it because 7-someoddbillion + 1 is more than 7-someoddbillion?
Shenanigans!
Re:Nobody (Score:5, Interesting)
nonsense, the end is very much in sight, the 2nd derivative of the population curve shows we will peak in about 2080 with 8.5 billion people on earth.
stop the hysterics.
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Yes, its the climate change, mass starvation, disease, revolutions, warfare, rise of plutocracies, and the collapse of civilization as we know it that we should be paying more attention to.
The earth is (so far) a closed system, it will naturally correct things in the end, its just that we may not like the correction process very much. And of course much of the resources are one-time consumables.
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Or as I like to call it, 'business as usual.'
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I like to be more optimistic and think the population will level off as the population has a higher standard of living due to robots doing all the work and birth rates drop.
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Clone army (Score:2)
Re:Clone army (Score:5, Funny)
Bad idea. You would likely overthrow you.
If multiple clones is an option, I vote for cloning the most desirable person of the desired sex you can find. If you can't sweet talk her (using "her" as a convenience here, YPMV) the first day, let her go, and make another clone the next day. Do a Ground Hog Day on her until you have perfected the spiel.
Don't forget a prenup. If she later turns bitchy, you can always replace her with another clone.
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You would likely overthrow you.
Only if you're an idiot. If I were to make an army of "me"s, there would be no need for a hierarchy. Because everyone is of equal ability, each clone is assigned a serial number and tasks are randomly assigned to the serial numbers. This way, each clone just does his own work. No one has to worry about whether the clones doing job X are doing a good enough job. The system takes care of itself. sigh... a man can dream.
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Cloning would assume that you have the original.
Only the first time. Think about it.
Clone the cloning machine ⦠(Score:2)
And if that's not an option, how about some gold bullion?
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Re:Clone the cloning machine ⦠(Score:4, Insightful)
Yes, but you could just keep cloning it, until you figure out something useful to clone. And maybe small genetic DNA errors might occur during the process, and eventually a mutant cloning machine capable of endless cloning might come out? Or, an evil cloning machine will result, that would take over the world and enslave humans.
At any rate, let's best start this process now.
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Hrrm (Score:5, Funny)
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Sure there was. There's the option right there: "Clone a spouse / significant other".
What are you saying - the rest of you aren't married to supermodels?
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Only because most nerds consider that option to be too obvious to list ...
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Even if they could get supermodels, they would still be rejected. :(
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The poll didn't say " your spouse / significant other", just " a spouse / significant other". So as long as that supermodel has a significant other, you can clone the significant other's significant other.
Clone myself, but... (Score:5, Interesting)
But keep them (me) in a coma to harvest for organs.
What?
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But keep them (me) in a coma to harvest for organs.
What?
Bad idea. If you did that, no matter what sort of Orwellian security system or clone handicapping mechanism you have in place to prevent against it, one of your clones (the whiniest, most likely) would eventually escape and tell everyone of your operation [wikipedia.org] and ruin your presidential bid.
You are going to run for president, right? It's the only logical thing to do with clones, as I understand it.
Re:Clone myself, but... (Score:4, Interesting)
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Would finally give a valid reason for suicide being illegal by law
Doesn't matter (Score:4, Insightful)
The question is: who would you duplicate? As in, a fresh copy, indistinguishable from the original. Right now, ready to go, no waiting required.
The mind boggles.
Re:Doesn't matter (Score:5, Funny)
That's exactly the reason why I'd clone Stallman.
So in 15 years and for another bunch of decades, you'd have somebody ranting about the GNU before Linux.
It would be one of my best trolling accomplishment, if somewhat costly.
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Here's an interesting (although ridiculous) hypothetical:
What if someone managed to create a machine that turns any given person into a clone of Stallman, and then they went crazy with it? In other words, what if most people were Stallman?
I'd wager they'd all be arguing with each other just as ferociously as he does with others and that proprietary software would still be common.
Re:Doesn't matter (Score:4, Interesting)
Stallman is a nice person, I think he has the problem most geeks have with the rest of the world: geeks communicate information, the rest of the world plays chess with information, as they reason about the effect a communication has on the receiver.
So when normal people will say "yes, sure" and think "whatever", the geek will argue until you' ve proven him wrong.
He has also the problem of declaring himself atheist, which probably means he is applying human logic and concepts to a hypothetical divine dimension, which is the same as incrementing an undeclared variable in an unknown programming language. In a plane where space, time, and the principle of non contradiction itself may not have the same meaning, all your attempts to construct arguments pro- or versus- a god are equally ridiculous.
(yeah still trolling)
Porn stars and terrorists (Score:2, Funny)
I for one would clone a porn star, bring her up to view me as her only sexual interest, and then when she's old enough to be of interest, I'll have a really good time until I'm bored with her. Then, I'd use her to make movies and profit and farm her out to perverts - especially when she's under 12 years of age.
Actually, I'd clone a few porn stars to keep things interesting.
I'd also clone Marilyn Monroe for really big bucks.
I'd also clone terrorists, brain wash them to view me as their god, and when I need
Ethics aside... (Score:5, Interesting)
When I saw the question, my first thought was 'Back from the Dead machine! If I could bring back anyone...' which was immediately countered by 'No, no, no... A CLONING machine, moron.' Any clone I made would biologically be the identical twin of the person or animal I chose to clone, but would not be that same person. Their experiences and environmental factors would be wildly different.
Now, with that in mind, I began thinking about 'Well, who would I like to spend time with that I can't?'
I thought of my beloved tabby cat, who lived to be 15. I would enjoy spending another 15 years with an almost identical kitty, but I already have two younger cats I love dearly. I'd get more out of my time spending time with those guys.
My spouse? Why on earth would I want more than one? She's the jealous type and I'm not interested in any kind of polygamy or polyamory.
But we are childless. The opportunity to raise my spouse's identical twin as our child is actually quite attractive. I know that I'm compatible emotionally with my spouse, so the idea of raising a child guaranteed to be very similar to her is very interesting. If I had to chose, I think I'd go that route.
But, of course there *are* serious ethical issues. It's fun to think about, though.
Re:Ethics aside... (Score:4, Funny)
Milia Kunis (Score:2)
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Yeah, but she'd manage to escape sooner or later.
Rule #1 (Score:3)
"Always keep a backup". Good to know I'm not the only one picking the right option.
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I thought rule #1 was "Never let suspects stay together" (and "Never screw over your partner")...
I already have a clone, you ignorant clod! (Score:5, Funny)
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Combo of # 1 and # 5 (Score:2)
Re:Combo of # 1 and # 5 (Score:5, Funny)
I'm surprised that no-one here has mentioned "The Clone Song" by Isaac Asimov, first 2 verses listed below:
Oh, give me a clone
Of my own flesh and bone
With its Y chromosome changed to X.
And after it's grown,
Then my own little clone
Will be of the opposite sex.
Clone, clone of my own,
With its Y chromosome changed to X.
And when I'm alone
With my own little clone
We will both think of nothing but sex.
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Don't even have to swap out a chromosome, or even individual genes. Just need to start or suppress the initial sex-determination cascade normally triggered by SRY. Could probably be done in a purely chemical fashion easier than genetic manipulation. Once the gonads have developed sufficiently, your work is done.
There'd be some statistical differences with the general opposite-sex population for sex-linked traits (such as color blindness), and they'll be infertile and a few other medical issues (although
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we'd get married. Or kill each other. Or both! These aren't mutually exclusive options, ya' know.
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I don't see what your link has to do with anything. The immediate problem with inbreeding is that everyone has a number of recessive problematic alleles, but unless you intermarry a relative, odds of them matching up with the same problem gene in someone else are low. But when you inbreed, you have dramatically higher of triggering these problematic recessive traits.
The good news is, attempting to breed with your genetic clone would have a very high rate of early-term miscarriages, most even before or sho
Maximise good (Score:2)
Figure out who, duplicated, would do most good for humankind.
Then ask their permission. And work down the list until I got a "yes". Lists of Nobel Prize winners would appear to be a good place to start.
Tag (Score:3)
Why is this post not tagged "dupe"?
What kind of cloning? (Score:2)
Baby clone or aged one?
Blank memory or full transfer?
A perfect copy could cancel death or maiming. But cloning a baby-self and watching it grow is a little too narcissic. Even if it is "yourself", once it is brought into the world, it should live its own life and never be forced to become you.
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Cloning yourself mostly implies a copy of oneself as you are now, at first impression.
31% of /. is narcissistic 8D
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depends... (Score:2)
What kind of cloning machine are we talking about? Specifically, what's the input and output parameters? Is it a duplication device that needs a living human as input and creates an identical copy as output, or is it a breeding device that takes DNA as input and creates a fertilzed egg as output?
In the former case, I'd clone myself and split up my task list between the two of us. I definitely could use twice as much time for everything I want to do.
In the later case, it's more difficult. With only the DNA b
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Yes, there needs to be more details about the rules/capabilies of this cloning machine.
Can you clone yourself but younger and transplant the brain (or download the consciousness into the new younger you? That would be the best option for many of us that are older than the average slashdotter
celebrity cloning (Score:2)
Other: Gandhi (Score:2)
No scientific/historical figures in the list, it's all "me me me". *sigh*
My first thought was Einstein, because Einstein. Then I thought, who would Einstein want cloned? He would probably have said Gandhi. And who am I to argue with a hypothetical Einstein?
for me (Score:5, Interesting)
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Same experiment would be equally, if not more, interesting if you chose someone more INfamous than FAMOUS. Take, for example, Hitler. What if you cloned Hitler and he turned out to be a creative genius that sparked a second renaissance? Of course, if he still turned out douchey, you could probably make a good deal of money selling tickets for people to punch him in the nuts. Either way, we learn something about human nature.
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Some aging hotty (Score:2)
Temuera Morrisson (Score:2)
... and then he would be trained in armed combat and forced to wear white armour.
The first step in my quest for ruling the galaxy.
Well.. it worked in Star Wars, didn't it?
Hitler.. (Score:2)
..For the LOLz, see if he turns out the same way again ;-)
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No, Wait, it didn't say it has to be human, so I'll have a T-Rex please.
Emma of Woody! (Score:2)
Myself, for spare parts... (Score:3)
Life is hard, part break and wear out.
WRONG! (Score:3)
All wrong answers. You clone the person who invented the cloning machine so they can be locked up in your basement making more cloning machines. Unlike wishing for more wishes from a lamp / genie, this violates none of those pesky logic circles, Disney copyrights, or laws of thermodynamics.
Wouldn't do it (Score:2)
I'm against human cloning. Also against identical twins.
Surprised I Haven't Seen This One Yet... (Score:2)
Do I really need to elaborate?
Clones vs duplicates (Score:2)
Dinosaurs! (Score:3)
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your 20 years younger sister will probably not want to have sex with you.
a human clone is just a sibling, not a copy, neither physically nor mentally. the premise of the poll is ridiculous
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Significant other is clearly the correct choice. It would be like doing twins!
Why not put twins into the cloning machine?
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...and then we will be able to get an apple pie, made from scratch.
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I considered the Hitler choice. You know, clone him so you can kill him just for the fun of saying: "I killed Hitler"
But of course, the clone of Hitler you just made didn't have a hand in killing 6+ million people, so it's pointless in the end.
What we really need is a time machine.
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so not Hitler, but a Nazi rocket scientist of some sort then
Clone Wernher von Braun and put him back in charge of NASA please!
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I'm really quite appalled at the way so many of you guys have gone straight to sexual slavery option. There was even the guy further up the thread who was going to clone a porn star and when he got tired of her was going to farm her out for movies - when she was still under 12 years old.
You do understand that this theoretical clone would be a person not a RealDoll? This person would have hopes and dreams and thought and a personality of their own.
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Scary, isn't it? Even though they're just joking, the fact that this is where their mind immediately goes... that the notion of "this is a real person" doesn't immediately derail them from writing their posts, is more than a little concerning.
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Dead people rarely write books.
L. Ron Hubbard perhaps?
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Mostly, I expect he would hide in the bathtub and pass notes under the door saying his work is already done.