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Microsoft

Microsoft Threatens To Resurrect Clippy as an Office Emoji (theverge.com) 71

Microsoft is threatening to bring back its loveable / annoying Clippy character. A post adds: The software giant claims it will replace the paperclip emoji in Microsoft Office with Clippy if one of its tweets gets 20,000 likes. The tweet has already passed 19,500 likes, so Clippy could be about to return as a more innocent emoji. Born in Office 97, Clippy originally appeared as an assistant to offer help and tips for using Microsoft Office. You either loved or hated its Groucho eyebrows and persistence, and Microsoft eventually killed off Clippy in Office XP in 2001.
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Microsoft Threatens To Resurrect Clippy as an Office Emoji

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  • by Joe_Dragon ( 2206452 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @03:24PM (#61582623)

    It looks like you are on apple.com do you want to know how much better an cheaper windows system is?

  • by big-giant-head ( 148077 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @03:29PM (#61582641)

    As long as it's not BOB , all is good!

  • Loved? (Score:5, Informative)

    by Enigma2175 ( 179646 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @03:30PM (#61582643) Homepage Journal

    You either loved or hated its Groucho eyebrows and persistence

    Who? Who loved Clippy? I think "you either hated or were indifferent" to Clippy would be more accurate.

    • Re:Loved? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by BobC ( 101861 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @03:54PM (#61582695)

      Yup, loved.

      Not as a system feature I liked or would ever use. No, certainly not.

      But as a genuine attempt to take CHI (Computer-Human Interaction) for automated assistants to a new level in a new direction? Yeah, it was worth doing for that reason alone, independent of it's market reception. It tried to turn the underutilized and static help system of Microsoft products into something dynamic and context-sensitive, basically inverting the model.

      The MISTAKES illustrated by Clippy were of huge value, and have helped evolve CHI more than anything Clippy did well. The most notable mistakes included it's intrusiveness and it's lack of accuracy: These days, such hints are indicated much more subtly, such as by highlights with hover-text, or by linking.

      Also, remember Clippy preceded the explosion in ML (Machine Learning) that drives most automated assistants these days. Were Clippy resurrected today, it would be much smarter and more situationally accurate. But perhaps still way too intrusive...

      • Re:Loved? (Score:4, Insightful)

        by thereddaikon ( 5795246 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @04:12PM (#61582721)

        I think calling Clippy intrusive is falling a bit short. Clippy would tap on your screen, complete the sound of tapping glass to get your attention when you were just trying to type your document. It wasn't merely intrusive, it was downright disruptive and annoying.

        • Re:Loved? (Score:5, Funny)

          by plate_o_shrimp ( 948271 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @05:34PM (#61582995)

          I think calling Clippy intrusive is falling a bit short. Clippy would tap on your screen, complete the sound of tapping glass to get your attention when you were just trying to type your document. It wasn't merely intrusive, it was downright disruptive and annoying.

          One of my favourite memes from the era was a pic of Clippy having just done that and saying "It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like me to bollocks it up for you, or shall I fuck off?"

        • Yes - a shit feature that MS thought we'd all love so much that we'd really enjoy it all the time - with no option to turn it off.

          CHI might have moved forwards, but Microsoft sure hasn't.

      • by AmiMoJo ( 196126 )

        It was back when Microsoft was trying to personify and personalize everything. "My Computer" and "My Documents". Where as nowadays you would just get a box that says "type your questions here" they had a little animated character.

        Other terrible ideas from the 90s where the explosion of exclamation marks everywhere. "Not enough space on disk!" would have been just fine without the hyperbolic punctuation. A lot of noob developers seemed to struggle with the Windows API calls that could fail, so you got status

      • By that metric you should have been ecstatic about Microsoft Bob.

    • Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • As a kid, I loved the animations of Clippy and the other "assistants". The "help" it provided was useless to me, because I did not understand English that much at the time, but the animations were cool.

    • Clippy: The turd that won't flush.
  • by Ostracus ( 1354233 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @03:30PM (#61582645) Journal

    Microsoft Threatens To Resurrect Clippy as an Office Emoji

    We'll be good. We'll be good.

    • From the FS page:

      Update July 14th, 4:15PM ET: Added that Microsoft’s tweet has already surpassed 30,000 likes and that the company is being cagey about if it will follow through on its promise to make Clippy an emoji.

  • I can't demonstrate it here because /. doesn't support emoji characters, but it does work in Windows and most other operating systems.

  • Every time Clippy makes an appearance Microsoft’s brand police puts a stop to it.
  • For any other company, I'd be comfortable thinking it was outside users.

    Since it is Microsoft, I'm thinking it's the team responsible for Clippy - either they get enough likes or the team is disbanded.

  • by joshuark ( 6549270 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @04:02PM (#61582709)

    I always liked Clippy, like a persistent house cat only offering help instead of seeking attention.

    There was a Johnny Carson episode where they had Clippy appear and state "You appear to be writing a copy out letter..." but what was amusing is Clippy raising the animated eyebrows...

    Perhaps tie Clippy to a grammerly knock-off or an AI that helps to write a better document...

    JoshK.

    • Wait, was Johnny Carson on that long? I thought he retired well before Clippy became a thing.

      • You are correct sir. My bad! and My mistake! As Microsoft only installed Clippit a.k.a Clippy in Office 97 or in 1997, and Johnny Carson retired May 22, 1992, it could not be on the Tonight Show during Carson's tenure.

        I have tried to find the video, it might have been the Daily Show or the Late Show, or the Tonite Show just at a different point in time.

        The humour was that Clippy pops up after it was "retired" or "withdrawn from service" when a politician or lawmaker was writing a letter, and Clippy pops up

  • by Mister Transistor ( 259842 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @04:05PM (#61582717) Journal

    There was a relatively easy way to prevent Clippy from being installed.

    When installing Office, you need to select "Customize Install", which allows you to select different parts of to be installed or not, like not installing Outbreak on systems running Thunderdud or some similar situation.

    The secret name for Clippy is "Office Assistant", and if you un-check it (right below "Office Shared Components") then it won't install it at all from the start. The names quoted might not be exact, it's been a few years since I last built up an image with Office as part of it, but it's close.

    Once it's installed, it is probably a bitch to remove without uninstalling Office and re-installing it. I have never attempted this.

    Just a quick memory tip from the old IT days...

  • by Opportunist ( 166417 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @04:12PM (#61582719)

    "MS bringing back clippy? LOL! Gotta click "like", maybe they really do it!"

    --anonymous Linux user

    • No, they're *threatening* to bring back Clippy. So far they didn't specify their demand, and SWAT forces are uneasy about how to proceed - it is not easy to negotiate with a terrorist that does not make any specific request.

  • as long as I can easily switch both off when I feel like it.

  • by Mister Transistor ( 259842 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @04:21PM (#61582743) Journal

    Clippy was NOT removed in Office XP, just turned off by default (see my previous post on how to do this).

    Clippy was not killed off completely until Office 2007. I know, I still run Office 2003, one version later than Office XP.

    I fucking hate the "ribbon" interface of the later versions of Office, so that's why I use the older version. With compatibility packs, it can deal with .DOCX and .XLSX formats, so there is no need to be running the latest and greatest version. If you like the aesthetic of XP or Win7 w/ NO FUCKING RIBBONS, it looks the best and is easiest to use, IMHO.

    • I fucking hate the "ribbon" interface of the later versions of Office,

      Me too. With a vengeance. I've spent enough time over the years learning Alt-A-b-c-D key sequences for performing tasks too ill-defined to be macro-able, to find switching to find "click one nameless button after another" a useful substitute for actually doing some work.

      I'll grant that non-power users might find tieing ribbons in their hair a useful prospect, but not for me.

    • None of the weird ribbon UI crap that MSFT did mattered as long as the menu keystrokes still worked and all your muscle memory moves in Excel still did the job. Biggest single reason I can't get totally over to LibreOffice Calc. Someday, when they get an Excel keystroke compatibility skin, Office is doomed.

    • It looks like you hate the Ribbon. Would you like help?

      Oh wait, there is no Help in MsOffice now... and H takes you to the bizarrely named "Home" Ribbon. How it's like Home, I don't know.

  • by smooth wombat ( 796938 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @04:26PM (#61582757) Journal

    They resurrected it in Windows 10 with their unrelenting harassment of users.

    Sign into your machine and get bombarded with all manner of notices which do not go away for hours (figuratively speaking) and block your view. But when you get a notice your password needs changed you get an entire two seconds.

    Open Outlook? See this! See this! Look here! You gotta see this!

    Open Teams? Take my hand and see the grandeur of hours spent to make your life as difficult as possible to share or communicate with your workers. No, you can't close this box, not until you acknowledge my magnificence.

    Open Word? Let me annoy you by repeatedly and endlessly asking if you want to go back to where you left off even if you have nothing but a gigantic list of random notes. Oh, you want to search your document? Well I'm sorry I can't stay fixed on the item I found when you closed the search box, unlike every other software program out there which highlights your search term.

    Every person who wants to change the emoji should be forced to have the software embedded, not installed, on whatever machine they use, including their phone, to experience the raw, unyielding power of harassment interruptis.

  • ...a secret codicil to Bill and Melinda Gates pre-nup was a requirement that Bill make sure MSFT avoid ever mentioning the embarrassing "Clippy" which Melinda had a hand in creating.
    Given the recent dissolution of their marriage, I assume it was only a matter of time before Clippy reared his loopy head.

  • ..should not be allowed on the internet.
  • by VirtuallyUnlimited ( 7169303 ) on Wednesday July 14, 2021 @05:06PM (#61582889)

    Excellent, Now I have a suitable tech replacement for the poop emoji!

  • In the name of Science, and for the collective advancement of H. Sapiens, I want to find out how Clippy reacts when I set my desktop background to hello.jpg [AKA goatse]

    Unfortunately I no longer own any Clippy-capable systems. Further research is needed.

  • ... aren't being blamed with trying to resurrect one of the more hated and loathed features of MS Orifice.

    Someone needs to spec "OpenClippy" - every so often it pops up with something helpful - for example "I see you've just done three similar consecutive "search and replace" tasks - did you know you could have performed all of them using an appropriately designed REGEX? Do you want me to put "REGEX S&R" onto your personal list of "OOO features worth investigating"?

  • I still have Clippy PTSD. This article triggered my memory that Microsoft is run by suits who only care about shipping useless features to get promoted.

    C'mon, M$. You were doing so good with all your open source stuff, and tech features that don't suck. Don't shit the bed now.

  • Hi! It looks like you're trying to commit an antitrust violation. Would you like me to bribe the SEC?
  • Dang it, Microsoft, just when I thought you'd said the dumbest thing possible you keep on talking.
  • ...now Clippy. They really hate their customers!
  • Cortana is just Clippy's not-quite-as-cute granddaughter.
  • by mcswell ( 1102107 )

    It looks like you're writing a post to Slashdot. Would you like help?

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