What Are the Best Valentine's Day Stunts? 470
With the oh-so-dreaded Hallmark holiday on the horizon we are flooded with tips and tricks (mostly designed to sell us things our mates cannot live without) of how to please/capture/sedate the ones we care for. One writer even suggests ways to capture the interest of a geeky girl. That said, what are some of the crazier romantically inspired, geeky V-day stunts or activities that you or someone you know has executed to terrible success or failure?
Talking to a girl (Score:5, Funny)
I know. It's out there, but, contrary to my expectations, she didn't totally humiliate me in front of everyone in the cafeteria.
Re:Talking to a girl (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Talking to a girl (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Talking to a girl (Score:4, Funny)
{man;look;for;cat;nice;gawk;find;whois;init;sed;talk;date;grep;touch;finger; flex;unzip;head;tail;mount;workbone;fsck;yes;gasp;fsck;more;yes;yes; eject;umount;makeclean;zip;sort;done;cu;split;exit:xargs!!}
Re:Talking to a girl (Score:4, Funny)
Get her pregnant (Score:5, Insightful)
I never timed it around V-day, but my wife thinks getting pregnant is romantic. :-)
Re:Get her pregnant (Score:5, Funny)
Lets see how romantic she thinks giving birth is.
Re:Get her pregnant (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Get her pregnant (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Get her pregnant (Score:5, Funny)
Send her a push notification on her iPhone after each contraction.
She'll love you forever.
Re:Get her pregnant (Score:5, Funny)
Her birth star... (Score:5, Interesting)
Here's a cheat sheet to help you select the right star: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_nearest_bright_stars [wikipedia.org] and here's a site to help you locate the chosen star: http://www.heavens-above.com/ [heavens-above.com] (use the constellations page & the whole sky chart).
Next year, she'll be a year older, and it will be a different star. We sometimes do this on her birthday.
Beta Virginis (Score:3, Funny)
Show her the star whose distance in light years is approximately equal to her age. The photons reaching our eyes left that star the year she was born.
My wife's age is closest to the star Beta Virginis. I can see it now "So you're saying you want me to be a born again virgin???? *slams door*" Thanks a bunch dude!
Re:Get her pregnant (Score:5, Funny)
I got my Girlfriend pregnant, too.
My wife did not find this romantic - well, back to the Appalachian Trail, I suppose.
Re:this was a fun game in junior high (Score:5, Funny)
I think you'll find this works better if step 2 is "add 3 months"...
that would mean a 15 month gestation (Score:3, Funny)
or a 3 month gestation
either way, alien, you've just outed yourself
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
You said:
Okay, let's see... someone says their birthday is in December. Subtract 3 months. So they were conceived in September? Uh... that would mean they were either in the womb for 3 months of 15.
So to answer your question, yes, you're really that stupid.
mea culpa (Score:4, Insightful)
i suck, i'm a moron
(red faced)
Re:this was a fun game in junior high (Score:5, Funny)
welcome to slashdot (Score:5, Funny)
where people argue about quantum thermodynamics but fail at basic math ;-P
Re:welcome to slashdot (Score:4, Funny)
where people argue about quantum thermodynamics but fail at basic math ;-P
More accurately, welcome to Slashdot where people argue about quantum thermodynamics but have no idea how babby is formed — or how long it takes. ;-)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
I am certain that most of the debaters of quantum thermodynamics fail also.
None whatsoever (Score:5, Insightful)
Life is not a romantic comedy. If you're already in a relationship, nice chocolate, flowers, and dinner (or any subset of the above) is plenty celebration. If you're not already in a relationship, don't start one on V-day. Just don't.
Re:None whatsoever (Score:5, Insightful)
The Slashdot title didn't really have anything to do with the linked article. It's not really about stunts, but about what might be seen as romantic vs. what might be seen as lame or generic, which of course depends entirely on the recipient, so "Ask Slashdot" isn't really a good place for an answer. I personally don't care for flowers or chocolate for Valentine's day. While I love chocolate, the stuff stores stock for Valentine's day tends to be of low quality, and in tacky, heart-shaped boxes.
I agree that starting a relationship for Valentine's day is a bad idea. For some reason, people seem to think they must be in a relationship, so a lot of bad relationships are probably started for Valentine's day.
Re:None whatsoever (Score:5, Funny)
what might be seen as romantic vs. what might be seen as lame or generic, ... , "Ask Slashdot" isn't really a good place for an answer.
You think?!
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
I personally don't care for flowers or chocolate for Valentine's day. While I love chocolate, the stuff stores stock for Valentine's day tends to be of low quality, and in tacky, heart-shaped boxes.
I agree, Valentine's day chocolate is generally awful. If you want to do it right, go to a real chocolatier and get a box of their specialty. It will cost you a lot more than the crap at Walmart but it will actually be worth eating and show that you put some thought into it. For flowers, at least make sure she isn't allergic or sensitive to scents first. A migraine would be the worst Valentine's day gift ever.
Re:None whatsoever (Score:5, Funny)
According to my friend's wife, the ironing board he gave her when they were first married is the worst Valentine's Day gift ever.
Re:None whatsoever (Score:5, Funny)
Re:None whatsoever (Score:4, Funny)
That, and I'll watch the kids do the laundry and cooking, and let her have some time to herself - Hummmm
Or... (Score:5, Funny)
Or for impressing a geeky girl once could try to execute an injection attack. Just make sure you use a Trojan or you might spawn unwanted child processes.
Re:Or... (Score:5, Funny)
Or for impressing a geeky girl once could try to execute an injection attack. Just make sure you use a Trojan or you might spawn unwanted child processes.
Maybe she would prefer a man-in-the-middle...?
Re:Or... (Score:5, Funny)
That's especially good as a part of a comprehensive penetration testing scenario...
Remember 4-digit years! (Score:5, Funny)
Make sure you use Y2KY jelly. It allows you to fit four digits into your date instead of two.
Re:None whatsoever (Score:5, Insightful)
Life is not a romantic comedy. If you're already in a relationship, nice chocolate, flowers, and dinner (or any subset of the above) is plenty celebration.
Romantic Comedies are popular in large part because they try and reflect what women dream of happening -- and there are worse ways to prove one's love than planning a big showy stunt that makes your beloved smile. (What worse ways? I'd say blindly giving her chocolate, flowers, and dinner. Unless you KNOW that she likes those.)
Your guiding principle is "what would make her smile." If you know her well enough to know that she would like a big showy stunt, then don't let some nobody on the internet tell you otherwise. If you know that she DOES like chocolate and flowers, then go for it.
And if you don't know her well enough to know what she likes, you don't know her well enough to give her a notable valentine's gift.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
You focus the rest of your post on the Big Romantic Stunt, but I think there's more to it than that. While seeing idealistic stunts in the name of love is part of the draw, there's also something to be said for the happily-ever-after ending. I've heard friends talk about big romantic gestures they've done for their significant others, and a good chunk of them are now broken up or divorced. The stunts
Re:None whatsoever (Score:4, Funny)
"Romantic Comedies are popular in large part because they try and reflect what women dream of happening"
So is Twilight. But I'm not sticking my cock in the freezer and then covering it with glitter for anybody.
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
I disagree. Life is what you make of it, and if you appreciate romantic comedies than there is no reason you can't try to make one of your own.
If you haven't been able to approach a girl because of awkward shyness (which as I understand is quite common in geeks and nerds) - than what better day than Valentines day to make -some- form of contact? On the odd chance you know where she lives, (say she is an old friend) than you can write a personalized letter and leave it in the mailbox. Girls love getting mail
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
And then get hit with sexual harassment suits and/or stalking charges...
Keep it simple (Score:4, Insightful)
Don't be a geek and try to over engineer valentine's day. Keep it simple and if she likes you, good things follow
Re:Keep it simple (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Keep it simple (Score:5, Insightful)
Men have been doing that for their families for millennia.
You can’t bring home the bacon without slaughtering a pig.
Re:Keep it simple (Score:4, Informative)
They don't have to be dead flowers. A small potted plant (a shrubbery, perhaps?) can go over quite well.
Re:Keep it simple (Score:4, Funny)
Yeah, but then she'll just demand another one.
Re:Keep it simple (Score:4, Insightful)
Well and let's not forget that flowers are a plant's reproductive organs.
So it's basically "Hey, honey, I gave you these genitals so you can watch them wither. It's, like, a metaphor!"
Re: (Score:2)
Geeks like efficiency.
Sakura wine [blogspot.com] combines flowers and alcohol.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
My girlfriend is perverted enough that she would actually like that. I'm thinking maybe I'll hold a box labeled "A gift for your mouth" conspicuously near my crotch and make her open it, only to discover chocolates and a note "What did you expect? My Dick?"
Stunts? (Score:5, Insightful)
For the record, I hate Valentine's Day. It's just silly to assign a day of the year to plan something romantic.
Re:Stunts? (Score:4, Informative)
Try telling that to my wife who would get exactly 0 days involving romance without V day. As much as I hate V day, it does force me to do something completely out of character to make my wife happy.
Re:Stunts? (Score:5, Insightful)
If you love someone you shouldn't need to be forced to do something to make her happy once in awhile. How sad.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Have you tried it? If you spontaneously surprised her with something similar on any day other than Valentine's Day, I bet she would enjoy it even *more*.
Just like (to me at least) the best gift is not the one knew you were getting months in advance, it's the one that is perfect, but you didn't even know you wanted.
And that's why (Score:3, Insightful)
I get some 364 days a year...
Thank you!
Re:Stunts? (Score:5, Funny)
Note to /. readers... (Score:4, Insightful)
real women like flowers, chocolate, and other mushy stuff. Though a well thought-out stunt may work on a rare occasion, they are much more likely to backfire than a traditional gift. Have flowers and chocolate on hand just in case.
Re:Note to /. readers... (Score:5, Funny)
Though a well thought-out stunt may work on a rare occasion, they are much more likely to backfire than a traditional gift. Have flowers and chocolate on hand just in case.
You either need a Redundant Array of Inexpensive Gifts, or a Redundant Array of Inexpensive Girlfriends.
Always works for me... (Score:5, Funny)
Chloroform soaked rags always get me the ladies.
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Surprise. (Score:4, Insightful)
I have noticed that my wife tends to really like surprises. It doesn't REALLY matter if I am super-romantic or something... but just surprising her with an outing that's just for her. It's romantic on a deeper level than throwing candy hearts at her.
Re:Surprise. (Score:5, Funny)
I have noticed that my wife tends to really like surprises.
Like jumping out of the closet with a mask made of beef jerky and a butchers knife with a pigs heart stuck on the end? You could write 'I HEART U' with some of the pig blood drippings for that extra pizazz. That would be pretty surprising.
(See, it's the pigs heart that ties it all together.)
Re:Surprise. (Score:5, Funny)
You can't beat surprise anal.
Re-enacting the martyrdom of St. Valentine (Score:4, Funny)
Now we just have to determine which method he was martyred by.
Press Z or R Twice (Score:5, Funny)
DO A BARREL ROLL!!!
Linus Torvalds' romantic story (Score:3, Funny)
Linus and his wife Tove, who is a six-time Finnish national karate champion, met back in 1993 when Linus was teaching a course. He asked the students to send him an e-mail as a test and Tove sent him an e-mail asking for a date (and threatening to break his geeky body worse than his boot loader, should he refuse). And people wonder why Linus has an aversion to mobile phones! Sorry, this was supposed to be a romantic story... Umm, Linus fell... in love with Tove's roundhouse kick.
Wait a minute (Score:5, Insightful)
Why are you tormenting us poor slashdot readers? You know we don't have significant others!
Sedate? (Score:2, Funny)
get her a nexus one (Score:2)
(p.s.: here's another question for randall: when you write
They Mentioned treasure hunt on the list (Score:5, Interesting)
And I pulled off one of those a while ago. Actually its been like 2 years. Anyways. Yeah - its pretty easy to do, once you know your girl well enough to get her to play along - and a car definately helps. The idea is simple, place letters along a path, each one giving clues to the next one. Given todays technology, just about everyone has a web enabled phone, which lets you take things a bit further than just a hunt. I had converted the clues into binary... ascii values... Hex... knowing not to do anything complex like public key encryption, lol, but she can recognize what is what and can look it up if she needs help. She eventually made her way down the street to my car, the previous letter informed her to look under the trunk, where an envelope with a spare car key was taped up. She opened the car to find a subjective question of who would win in a fight, 2 raptors or a t-rex - in a very crowded jungle. (We'll leave that open to debate). One envelope said Raptors, and the other said T-rex. It didn't really have any bearing on the actual hunt, but it kind of goes along with this inside joke that we have. We personally think that -EVERYONE- secretly still loves dinosaurs, just when they get older they are too afraid to admit it. Anyways, so it leads her into this park where I'm sitting there, reading my book, with a nice picnic set up. We both agreed earlier that week that Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwhiches are totally still delicious, it seems odd that you stop eating them completely as soon as you are out of junior high. So we had a picnic with sandwhiches.
Needless to say, she really enjoyed it. However, she told all of her friends, and her friends got jealous and razzed their boyfriends, and they all gave me guff the next time they saw me, saying it made them look bad.
Re:They Mentioned treasure hunt on the list (Score:5, Interesting)
Needless to say, she really enjoyed it. However, she told all of her friends, and her friends got jealous and razzed their boyfriends, and they all gave me guff the next time they saw me, saying it made them look bad.
This was my goal for every Valentines day. Don't worry about what she thinks, think about the story she will tell.
On February 13th, around 11:30 at night back in my college days, I got 3 rolls of ribbon and tied a bow around as many trees as I could between her dorm and her classes. I put a note under her door saying "Every time you see a bow, remember how much I love you".
Cheesy, I know. But, she was the talk of the college campus. Word got around that I tied the bows for her, and she felt like the most popular girl in school. That made her feel like a million bucks. Total cost? $15.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
This was my goal for every Valentines day. Don't worry about what she thinks, think about the story she will tell.
On February 13th, around 11:30 at night back in my college days, I got 3 rolls of ribbon and tied a bow around as many trees as I could between her dorm and her classes. I put a note under her door saying "Every time you see a bow, remember how much I love you". Cheesy, I know. But, she was the talk of the college campus. Word got around that I tied the bows for her, and she felt like the most popular girl in school. That made her feel like a million bucks. Total cost? $15.
It may be cheesy but it made this girl go "aaawwww". AND read it to her husband! (hint hint)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
and they all gave me guff the next time they saw me, saying it made them look bad.
I think it's just against Dude-Union regulations.
4. Design a treasure hunt (Score:2)
Unfortunately (Score:2)
You have to do a little something for Valentine's Day even if she says otherwise. Keep this in mind though, giving her flowers on any other day for no reason will make her feel a lot more special than on V Day. Set a reminder in your calendar on a random day and do this.
Re: (Score:2)
A man without a woman is like a statue without pigeons.
I think I did OK for my geek girl (Score:3, Interesting)
I sent my geek girl a box of comic books, calligraphy and knitting supplies and a Supergirl camisole. Later in the week I'll gift her with Dragon Age Origins and Batman: Arkham Asylum through Steam, since I know she wants those games.
She lives a thousand miles away so we don't get to see each other very often, but I know she'll at least be happy with her box of geek goodies.
Re:I think I did OK for my geek girl (Score:4, Funny)
I sent my geek girl a box of comic books, calligraphy and knitting supplies and a Supergirl camisole.
She lives a thousand miles away so we don't get to see each other very often, but I know she'll at least be happy with her box of geek goodies.
What a coincedence! My girlfriend just got box of comic books, calligraphy, knitting supplies, and a Supergirl camisole in the mail from a "friend". Wait a minute...
Easy (Score:5, Funny)
I cut off my ear and shipped it in a shoebox to a girl I like.
Haven't heard back from her yet.
Re:Easy (Score:5, Funny)
Haven't heard back from her yet.
[American Sign Language]That's because you cut your ear off![/American Sign Language]
Re:Easy (Score:5, Funny)
Dumbest Valentine ads (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Easy (Score:2)
Just be two of: tall, good-looking, rich, talented-musician/artist
finger (Score:4, Interesting)
Boy, this takes me back to the past of the Internet without firewalls and Unix servers running with the regular services, including, finger [wikipedia.org], enabled. We were at different Universities and often talked using talk [wikipedia.org]...
But she was not online as much as myself, so I had to know, when to start the talk... The solution is obvious: execute finger every minute. If "on since" is detected in the output, write out a log-entry to a file. A separate instance of xbiff [wikipedia.org] was running to alert me, when that file was modified.
Nowadays various instant-messaging clients do this all for you, and even on Slashdot I have to provide Wikipedia links to describe things I'm talking about...
Re:finger (Score:5, Funny)
Romantic spontaneously... (Score:2)
If more men would just be a bit more romantic spontaneously through out the year, there wouldn't be a need by industires to guilt men (and some women) into doing something special on Valentines Day and Sweetest Day.
Besides, if you are only romantic on Valentines Day, do you really have a need to complain?
no geeky girls please! (Score:3, Insightful)
I shudder to think of capturing the interest of geeky girls! No more geeky girls for me. When they like you, they tend to like you in a crazy manner! I had the experience of one trying to get my attention in every way. She would always try to understand the software projects that I am working on and even google the terminologies that I put in my blog. This is funny, but she asked me out lots of times, I tried to say no but is really persistent. She once caught me having dinner with friends in restaurant and in a very planned manner, went straight to our table talked to a couple of my friends behind my back and then went to me. She tends to approach love and relationships in a very calculated manner. I am already like that and NO I am not going to spend my life with a person who is just like me (why can't I attract the real girls)? :/
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
NinjaGram (Score:5, Funny)
Re:NinjaGram (Score:5, Funny)
and besides who wants to argue with ninjas?
Uh........ pirates?
Dump'em before, patch it up after.... (Score:3, Interesting)
I've had more men dump me right before Valentines day and then try to fix thing afterward just to avoid the day all together. How's that for a Valentine's stunt. Lovely..... NOT.
Re:Dump'em before, patch it up after.... (Score:4, Insightful)
Here is a relevant comment [slashdot.org] that will help explain the situation.
Predetermined "special" holidays take all the fun out of life. I am much more a fan of spontaneous gestures of kindness and random get-togethers. Expecting things leads to stress and/or disappointment. Being genuinely and pleasantly surprised by things makes me happy.
P.S. I would never dump someone to avoid a holiday, that is cold.
Ovid's Advice (Score:5, Informative)
From the second book, there are 2 days a year you avoid like the plague (unless you're rich and can afford not to): Cupid's Day (later renamed by the Catholic Church as St. Valentine's Day) and her birthday. On both days you'll be expected to give gifts. So, if you can't afford that, Ovid's advice was to break up with her before the day arrives and get back together again with her afterwards.
So I guess you could say, given the fact that there are guys who think that way, simply not breaking up with your girlfriend/wife, despite the 2000 years of expectations she's layering on top of your relationship, is pretty romantic in itself. But don't try to convince her of that. She'll probably want to be pampered in some way anyway.
Knowing this DOES give you a conversational edge, however, on the cynical morons who think that Valentines Day was invented by Hallmark. And ladies, if you you're reading this and are pissed that this advice was EVER given, you might take comfort in having this retort handy: A while later, Augustus Caesar exiled Ovid from Rome for the rest of his life. In Ovid's own words, the reason was carmen et error. The carmen is widely believed to be these 3 books, which ticked off the aristocracy no end.
Ovid [wikipedia.org]
Avoid going out to dinner (Score:4, Insightful)
Really, this is my best advice. It is hard to really make your wife/girlfriend think she is important when it appears that every other person in the world is also out for dinner at the place your choice (or a nicer place). You will be herded in like cattle, some generic Valentines Day special things will be found at the tables (candles, special napkins, whatever) but they won't be special or unique as every table will have them. It will be loud, crowded, and uncomfortable even if you do drop a good amount of money at a nice establishment.
Usually I will take the time and cook a fancy meal by myself, something I usually wouldn't do. She gets that nice meal and sees me slaving away to deliver it. Our house is much quieter and private than an overloaded eatery which leads to great conversation (except in one case where she was so in awe by my to that point unknown culinary talents that she preferred to keep trying the different things I cooked rather than talk much.) After that, an activity you both like (hopefully...if not you'll have to settle on one she likes) is good. This can be anything but hopefully not going to the Movie Theater...which will also be crowded and irritating like places to eat.
What about evil things to do for V-Day? (Score:4, Funny)
What I'm hoping for is an offer from an organization I've had several interviews with. If I get the offer, I think I might give my current boss a nice card containing a Poem-of-Resignation.
Another idea that isn't quite ready for prime-time is sending lingerie and perfume to a thieving bastard I know in prison. It's not quite ready for prime-time because although he's been caught, he hasn't been to trial/convicted yet.
A card saying "I'd divorce you all over again" containing a coupon for STD screening for my ex-wife would be pretty funny (I caught her cheating).
Valentine Day Humor (Score:4, Funny)
She told him in no uncertain terms that tomorrow morning she expected a gift in the driveway that goes from zero to 200 in less than ten seconds - AND IT BETTER BE THERE.
Next morning the husband leaves early. Later the wife awakes and looks out the window to spot a small gift-wrapped box in the driveway. So she puts on a robe and brings the box in the house to open it.
And inside is a brand new bathroom scale.
Mystery Box (Score:3, Insightful)
I have a long distance relationship, several states over, so I don't get to see my girlfriend often. This summer I'm moving out to be with her, so last Christmas I tried to make things go extra well. To prepare for Valentines day, when I knew I wouldn't be able to be there, I hid ten slips of paper all over her room with passwords on them. I gave her clues to find the next one each time she found one, in the form of little riddles. She's found all of them now, and I'm about to send her a box with a microcontroller/display that won't open without the passwords. Inside are some personal things, and candy, a letter, etc.
I was inspired by another project that was location-locked. It had a GPS and merely displayed the distance to the unlock location when a button was pressed.
Best stunt ever is... (Score:3, Insightful)
Seriously, there's a lot to be said for a nice kiss, hug and a sincere "I Love You" - though my wife and I did that every day anyway (yes, every day) for 20 years. She died of a brain tumor in January 2006 and I still give her a kiss, hug and an "I Love You" - every day - with the addition of "I Miss You".
Ah, Valentine's. Hacker's holiday. (Score:4, Insightful)
Seriously. Can you tell me any other day when a UPS uniform and a pack of pralines or a bunch of flowers gets you access anywhere?
Re: (Score:2, Insightful)
Waitaminnit, isn't that the whole point?
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
If she's into Soduku, make her a VD Day soduku card.
Or better yet, buy some condoms, so you can keep it as regular "V-Day".
Re:Romance isn't dead! (Score:5, Funny)
And that's the way you do it...