Ballmer Speaks on His Solo Act 196
Carl Bialik from WSJ writes "In his first one-on-one interview since Bill Gates's retirement announcement, Steve Ballmer tells the Wall Street Journal he is bullish on Microsoft's investments in online services, and he dismisses as 'random malarkey' the idea that Microsoft is having trouble hiring and keeping the kind of brilliant employees that have always been the company's competitive weapon. Here's Ballmer on Gates's departure: 'As co-leaders of the business, I could allow Bill to be the full-time champion of innovation. And [now] with me really being the guy who's here every day running the place, I must be the champion of innovation.' And on competing with Google: 'We're going to compete. We're going to be in the online business. We are going to have a core around online. We're going to be excellent. That, I would tell people, to count on...'"
"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:5, Funny)
Re:"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:2)
Re:"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:5, Insightful)
Ugh, the stream of bullshit coming out of Ballmer's mouth just makes my head spin. I don't understand why every chief officer in a tech company thinks they have to admit absolutely no fault and use meaningless business speech? Listen to some of the crap Balmer says:
They can't be open-minded, no, they have to be willing to be open-minded. What the hell? And what the hell does being multicapable mean? It's all a bunch of fluff talk, intended to make people think Microsoft is "dynamic," and that they're "expanding into key new markets." Just call it like it is, man. Microsoft hasn't done anything really impressive, on the software front, for five years. Your stock has flat-lined. It's ok to admit that you've got serious work to do. Instead he wants to tout how amazing Microsoft is, or how cutting-edge and forward-thinking their staff is. Just give it a rest. The PR machine really makes me sick.
Re:"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:2)
Re:"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:2)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kvbWLfr-Z4s&search=bal
Re:"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:2)
"Sinking, we're not sinking! Quite the opposite, in fact. This ship, due to the multifaceted nature of the leadership and the clear potential of a synergy between the engine room and the bridge, is in fact even more bouyant than it was yesterday! Why, by tomorrow we ought to be floating above the water, and that's only the beginning of our innovative new plan for keeping this ship afloat. Oh, and by the way, ignore the ice berg and life boat slowly being l
Re:Brilliance? (Score:4, Insightful)
Um, no. The company's "competitive weapon" doesn't have anything to do with the alleged "brilliance" of its employees, save for the number of inventive ways that the security of its products has been compromised. The company's "competitive weapon" quite simply, is its monopolistic, anti-competitive behavior.
Re:Brilliance? (Score:2)
He does not really talk about business or technology visions.
His new vision is to challenge iPod by a low cost player that is pushed into the market.
He buys new market shares by selling unprofitable products.
No new cash cow. And the power of the old cows is fading. I expect KDE4 to be more intresting than VISTA.
Re:"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:2)
What is also often ignored in these comparisons is that a new Windows release that wasn't generally compatible with DOS and previous version of Windows would have
Re:"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:3, Insightful)
Apple's architecture was better. Their software was better. It wasn't even funny how much better. But it was more expensive. And you could only buy it from Apple.
IBM regarded the PC as a toy, a piece of junk with no practical serious application. More a proof of concept than something you'd want to develop and support. They were pretty much right. They opened the spec, so that fools at other companies could build the boxes rather than be forced to
Lex uses it on Smallville so you know it's serious (Score:2)
Re:Lex uses it on Smallville so you know it's seri (Score:2)
Re:Lex uses it on Smallville so you know it's seri (Score:2)
They certainly were. According to your website you were born in 1975 which means you were about 6 years old when the PC came out. It's not surprising that you don't have a lot of insight into the early days of the PC. In any case,
Oops (Score:2)
Re:"We're going to be excellent..." (Score:2)
How very disappointing! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How very disappointing! (Score:2, Funny)
I have four words for you... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I have four words for you... (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:How very disappointing! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How very disappointing! (Score:2)
Spelling error (Score:5, Funny)
Isn't that spelt
I must wait for someone to do something clever and then rip it off
Re:Spelling error (Score:1, Interesting)
Nice innovation ther
Re:Spelling error (Score:3, Insightful)
In otherwords, they're out of steam.
If MSFTs idea of innovation is to make Windows "even bigger" then I think it's a good sign they're done for. As far as I'm concerned Vista shouldn't require anything more than WinXP or Win2K requires. These "added bonus value" features like the wasteful GUI, WGA and other random tools are further signs.
Tom
Re:Spelling error (Score:2)
"The Lone Ballmer" - Tour 2006 (Score:5, Funny)
Re:"The Lone Ballmer" - Tour 2006 (Score:2)
I think that the problem may have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright?
Re:"The Lone Ballmer" - Tour 2006 (Score:2)
Stonehenge goes modern! I like it! Although, nothing else gets me quite as excited as when he does that monkey dance and jumps around on stage, screaming. Even the "developers" chant isn't quite the same as that one.
Anyway, I'm kinda busy for the next couple of months. When's the DVD?
Re:"The Lone Ballmer" - Tour 2006 (Score:2)
Re:"The Lone Ballmer" - Tour 2006 (Score:2)
Well, I might as well divorce my husband and join a convent after that mental image. Now, kindly send me your address in case my husband wants to... er, talk to you.
Re:Shouldn't that be (Score:2)
yeeeeaaaaaaarrrrggghhhh (Score:5, Funny)
(howard dean voice) YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHH
Hey... (Score:1)
He will take all his developers ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drLO_LG0W9w [youtube.com] ) and he will what he says.
Usual Ballmer (Score:1, Insightful)
champion of innovation (Score:5, Insightful)
When Bill was being the "innovative" guy, they generally resorted to copying existing products or entering markets that others had already proven to be successful. Is Steve saying that his approach to "innovation" is a step behind even that?
Re:champion of innovation (Score:2, Funny)
Re:champion of innovation (Score:4, Insightful)
While I find it somewhat awkward to be in the position of defending Bill Gates in the context of "innovation" --he uses that word incessantly IMO--Microsoft does manage to create some truly remarkable influences upon technology, if not the least of which is their corporate culture, which is one of the best examples of a Fortune 500 company cultivating the "small-team mindset" and (arguably) nimble despite exponential growth.
Rather scary... (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm skating on the edge of Godwin, but... it's kind of scary when the head of an organization such as Microsoft cites a totalitarian government as an example of greatness.
Re:Rather scary... (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Rather scary... (Score:5, Interesting)
The tanks stopped (Score:3, Informative)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tank_Man [wikipedia.org]
Re:The tanks stopped (Score:2, Informative)
Re:Rather scary... (Score:2)
Exploiting a monopoly is not innovation, people have been doing it for centuries and they always, always come to a bitter end.
Re:Rather scary... (Score:5, Insightful)
China got "great" long before the dissastrous 20th century. China's history is measured in ~millenia~, Mr Bollocks.
China invented the first PDA (i.e. paper) thousands of years ago... and it's ~still~ better than Windows CE.
Re:Rather scary... (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Rather scary... (Score:2)
Outdated Icon? (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Outdated Icon? (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Outdated Icon? (Score:2)
Or the one that bangs the cymbals together!
Re:Outdated Icon? (Score:1)
Re:Outdated Icon? (Score:3, Funny)
If we did replace Bill (just so they don't know that we know), maybe it would be Steve in a leotard, sitting on a chair ah la Auguste Rodin famous statue.
What are the chances ? (Score:2)
posted earlier this morning on the PHP developer thread. [slashdot.org] If a third sign appears,
I will seek immediate venture capital and donate half of the proceeds to revitalize the slashdot comment system.
Re:Outdated Icon? (Score:2)
Re:Outdated Icon? (Score:2)
Just a pic of a chair, perhaps with a bent leg or two.
Re: Outdated Icon? (Score:3, Interesting)
XBox online. (Score:2)
Ugh... (Score:1)
Re:Ugh... (Score:2)
Re:Ugh... (Score:2)
If you hear them struggling to piece a coherent sentence together it is time to sell the stock.
Just 1 ? on his Solo act... (Score:1, Funny)
I'm no anti-microsoftie, but... (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:I'm no anti-microsoftie, but... (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:I'm no anti-microsoftie, but... (Score:2)
Business Manager: But Kane, we're losing a million dollars a year!
Kane: Then in 60 years, when I'm out of money, we will close the doors!
Random Malarkey (Score:2, Funny)
he dismisses as 'random malarkey' the idea that Microsoft is having trouble hiring and keeping the kind of brilliant employees that have always been the company's competitive weapon.
"That's random malarkey! Who needs brilliant employees when we have chairs as our new competitive weapon.", Ballmer responded.
Bloated head (Score:1)
Re:Bloated head (Score:5, Interesting)
I think more than anything this is an indicator of the state of Microsoft. If you've got to send the CEO out on PR all the time, then there's some pretty shaking ground that the company is sitting on. Products and services should be able to speak for themselves without the CEO having to go on a media tour to tell how great they are. He's got to go around evangilizing MS because if people (employees as much as customers) hear it enough, they just might start to believe it.
The Microsoft icon needs replacing (Score:1, Funny)
"Random malarky"? (Score:5, Funny)
Damage Control By Gates (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Damage Control By Gates (Score:3, Insightful)
He looked at the amazing innovations happening in the FOSS community and realized that as terrible a beast as it was, it was one of his own creation, because any company--
Re:Damage Control By Gates (Score:2)
Predictible Slashdot. (Score:1)
And you wonder why slashdot stopped being taken seriously a long time ago.
Re:Predictible Slashdot. (Score:3, Interesting)
Linux IS ready for the desktop, and now awaits only adoption.
Re:Mod Parent Up! (Score:2)
GNU / Linux / KDE has no more in the way of problems than Windows XP, and has a similar featureset. Hence, it is ready to be competitive on the desktop target.
Re:Predictible Slashdot. (Score:2)
When cross-spectrum adoption kicks in, it'll be ready for business desktop use.
Anyone notice a pink elephant around here? (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Anyone notice a pink elephant around here? (Score:2)
Ballmer sums up why MicroSoft is in decline... (Score:5, Funny)
QED
Re:Ballmer sums up why MicroSoft is in decline... (Score:2)
Or, they can switch to Google's model and have ALL employees be the idea guy. If you've got the best and brightest working there, what so hard about letting them go all mad scientist for a day?
Re:Ballmer sums up why MicroSoft is in decline... (Score:2, Funny)
Seriously. When I read this, I swore I felt a great disturbance, as if millions of stockholders suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Interesting (Score:4, Interesting)
First, Microsoft itself prefers to use Google: http://it.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/06/22/02
Then, Microsoft "warns google away": http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/07/16/20432
After that, they change their mind and are going to allow competitive search: http://it.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/07/19/21
And now, they are going to
What's going to be next?
we're going to succeed (Score:2, Informative)
Well apart from the Xbox division, which continues to haemorrhage money, MP3 players, where you're yet to make any serious impression, search, where Google and Yahoo continue to dominate, packaged enterprise applications, where SAP and Oracle dominate, Business Intelligence, where BusinessObjects, Cognos and SAS continue to dominate, and
News flash! (Score:2)
In other words, Steve Ballmer tells his shareholders exactly what he thinks they want to hear. Or what he wants them to hear so that they keep buying stock. Kind of like how our builders told us 9 months ago that our town
Innovators never talk about "innovation." (Score:5, Interesting)
BIll Gates didn't say "I want to make innovative software," he said he wanted a computer on every desk and Microsoft software in that computer.
Edwin Land didn't say "I want to develop innovative imaging-related products for the consumer and technical markets," he said "Marketing is what you do when your product is no good" and "The bottom line is in heaven."
They Sat On The Floor (Score:2)
Rah! Rah! Go, team! Go! (Score:2)
I have observed that once an organizations reaches a certain size that CEO's, unless they are buying something, selling something or laying people off, are not much more than cheerleaders. Taking thousands of people and getting them to go in one direction is very hard, like steering a frieghter. It takes time. Usually years. Often on a scal of decades.
The quickest ways to change an organization that large is just to fire people and then rehire. Spin off under performing divisions, sell
Out of curiosity. (Score:2, Insightful)
For how many years have Microsoft been touting this line, that they are going to revolutionise the online world? For the life of me, I can't think of one Microsoft online service that has caused even a murmur never mind a wave of avid followers. Unless you count IE and WMF vulnerabilities as having a "core around online."
Ballmer just shouldn't speak... (Score:3, Insightful)
Steve Ballmer is Howard Dean's long lost brother? (Score:3, Interesting)
Keeping good engineers (Score:2)
The problem is that Microsoft, like many companies, hire good engineers then don't give them enough freedom or listen to their ideas. Consequently, the good engineers get disillusioned and leave and only the bad engineers stay around. Thats one of the reasons why most Microsoft software is a piece of sh1t.
New Logo Needed (Score:2)
A flying chair would be a good start.
Just to put this in perspective... (Score:2)
Looks like a used car salesman. Clearly the guy is out of his depth, Gates made a mistake in passing the company to him.
So... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Oh Jeez! (Score:2)
Your phrasing is just as valid.
Re:Prediction (Score:2)
Actually, now that black holes don't exist, Slashdot will become a MECO [slashdot.org], eject all of the jokes at near lightspeed, and reform what's left of the servers as a debris ring.
Good times.
Re:Why does M$ care about google? (Score:2)
Re:Why does M$ care about google? (Score:2)
Video Games == Nicotine (Score:2)
Anonymous Coward: They want to see fiascos like the Xbox project and all the other marketplace failures terminated.
Anonymous Coward: The Xbox is almost a certainty to get the axe
The X-Box is their most innovative "rip-off" since at least Active Directory. They've sold 5 million units, and they think that, with Sony's delay in transitioning to the Cell processor, they can sell 15 million more [slashdot.org] in the next year. The gross revenues for the XBox alone are pretty much equal to [or even exceed] the gross reve