I saw an NYPD officer with one on the subway the other day

That's because the SMS system there was (is?) so broken that people had to use email.

I didn't really have problems with vzwatt texting recently, but in my (limited and recent) experience with texting between Sprint and ATT, it's a huge excercise in futility.

I've had excellent experiences with AT&T's 3G network. Around Philadelphia, I can get service in my basement, even though the towers are way past me. I used to lose service outside with Verizon in some spots.

Fortunately for you, horse crap is in great supply, given the carriage tours around the same area.

The fact that they're in the middle of a drug war.

Keep in mind that inflation is also going down. In fact the monthly inflation rate was negative for quite a while, and over the past 12 months, inflation has been at -1.2% on average. You'd actually get an ROI by stuffing your mattress.

But Visa card numbers start with 4

Same way most data reaches the general public

Couldn't they just google it?

The last time I saw a major Bolivian export being priced on a per-kilogram basis, I had the DEA on my tail!

Their bill is shock treatment

We're charged to receive calls because the phone system in America does not differentiate between cell phones and landlines. I myself find it ridiculous that you have to pay MORE to call someone, just because their cell phone is a number! It costs 2 cents to call a landline in Greece, but it costs 20 cents to call a cell phone (using skype)! What the hell!?

WOOOOOOOSH

The TSA thugs won't confiscate it. I've chugged it in plain sight and they don't care.