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UFOs In the News
Posted by
kdawson
on Tue Jan 02, 2007 07:43 PM
from the green-and-the-gray dept.
from the green-and-the-gray dept.
Several readers have let us know about a report on MSNBC that France's space agency has announced plans to publish its archive of UFO sightings in a month or so. The archive includes some 6,000 reports relating to around 1,600 incidents over 30 years. In a separate development, many readers have sent in word of the reported UFO that at least six United Airlines workers saw over Chicago's O'Hare International Airport last November. National Public Radio picked up the story with an interview with the Chicago Trib reporter who wrote about it yesterday. United is, strangely, denying that any such incident was ever brought up. The FAA admits there was an incident but is not investigating it.
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From CNN (Score:5, Funny)
"To fly 7 million light years to O'Hare and then have to turn around and go home because your gate was occupied is simply unacceptable," he said.
Re:From CNN (Score:5, Interesting)
http://www.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=60016&ie=U
http://whereroadsmeet.8k.com/Interchange/il-i90-i
Re:From CNN (Score:4, Funny)
Re:From CNN (Score:5, Funny)
Modern aliens rely on a S.E.P. field generator, or "Somebody Else's Problem." The generator creates an image that, when perceived by a sentient mind, automatically stores the data in a sector of the mind that labels things as "somebody else's problem," thus, letting the being ignore the object to the point of seeing right through it.
And given that this is O'Hare International, I seriously doubt somebody would give a second look at something that was not his own problem.
UFO vs. alien spacecraft (Score:5, Insightful)
That left an impression on me. People tend to use "UFO" as a shorthand for alien spacecraft... but when you get down to it, "Unidentified Flying Object" refers to anything unidentified that you see in the sky. A segment of a sun halo, a satellite, an odd cloud, a distant airplane with the sun glinting off of it... The same would apply to the "Unidentified Aerial Phenomena" term used in the O'Hare article.
Conversely, if alien spacecraft are ever verified, they wouldn't really be UFOs, would they?
Re:UFO vs. alien spacecraft (Score:5, Interesting)
People just want to think these weird flying things are aliens visiting us. But honestly, if YOU were an alien, with this fantastic technology to fly hundreds of light years to visit another planet with life on it, would you just fly by some stuff then go home? Hell, I wouldn't drive 60 miles look at something and turn around and come home.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
> years to visit another planet with life on it, would you just fly by some stuff then go home?
But honestly, if YOU were a human, with this fantastic techno
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Hell yes! I'd do nothing but do flybys of primitive worlds like ours,
to: Lshelverfn (Score:5, Funny)
As suggested, this message up near the front of postings but buried in 3rd or 4th level I am putting. if(scanSubject(/Lshelverfn/) == is_good) { this buried enough for hiding will be } else { signalWith(flare) <-- like 20 rotations back --> && I will { backUpTalker('ON'); this.Talker('OFF") }.
Oops. Pardon the above, still need to tweak the english emitter. This somewhat better seems it to be.
Quick report: Hiding am I yet; can walk the streets and ride "Elevated" but not good yet with face2face. Have deflated boobs as incompatible with facial hair these seeming to be. Still with problems with "left" opposed to "right" with footware. It is subtle. Internetspeak okay-- blend in with ESLs and with the L3373s and specially A-OK with fragment code interspersing. /. anonymizing well & intercepting unproblematical as would be dismissed as juvenile prankyprank and either +5 insightful or -1 doubleplus unfunny. Ping nobody's radar either way this would.
Ok better on the english emitter, now, I think. I hope the translator routines don't frobnicate on this material. (That is a "joke"; I need to practice those if I am going to pass in F2F situations here).
Pretest of observation platforms over "airports" has gone well with the notable exception of the one large "airport" near the long big lake. Although that incident has been adequately contained, with the first general news stories not surfacing until 50 rotations after, it demonstrated that we cannot rely on the Acme Cloaking Device Incorporated products. See my last report before I left for this assignment about my concerns with Acme's quality assurance program and let us get it right next time. Request that you hurryup on finding replacements. The opportunity to study the mass religious festivals at these "airports" at the time of Big Bird Feast was lost on this orbit because of this snafu. We definitely want to be prepared for the one next orbit.
I need to get back into the hot shower before my skin melts again. Will look for your ACK in the Hubble pics.
Oh, if you NEED to signal me with a flare again, please dial down the intensity. That last one was WAY too noticeable.
Re:UFO vs. alien spacecraft (Score:4, Funny)
Are there snakes on that plane?
Re:UFO vs. alien spacecraft (Score:5, Insightful)
Read Accelerando [accelerando.org] (free eBook available), and consider that nothing in that book is particularly physically implausible.
It is exceedingly unlikely that aliens that are just like we are now, only with spaceships, would come by and buzz us. At this point it seems far more likely that if any aliens ever do make "contact", it'll be in the form of a fully-automated colony ship that stops somewhere, maybe in the rings of Saturn or the asteroid belt, and proceeds turning our entire Solar System into computronium [wikipedia.org]. All we could do is hope and pray the probe is programmed to do something nice for us, because we sure as hell couldn't stop it.
Any civilization that has the resources to cross the stars is extremely unlikely to use those resources to build a tin can capable of holding meat-bodies in it, with mass that could instead be made into enough computronium to perform mind-blowing amounts of computation, and blow unspeakable numbers of human-lifetimes worth of energy moving that across the stars, just to buzz humans for no apparently reason. (Yes; in a world of computronium, one standardized human life can be used as measurement of energy.)
The putative aliens of the UFOs are a product of a very peculiar sort of shortsightedness about the ultimate limits of technology that dates from a relatively narrow understanding of science, and are as out-of-date as the idea that the world only needs five computers. Interestingly, both ideas are out-of-date for the same basic reason...
Re:UFO vs. alien spacecraft (Score:5, Informative)
"Meat?"
"Meat. They're made out of meat."
"Meat?"
"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."
"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"
"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."
"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."
"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."
"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."
"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."
"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."
"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"
"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."
"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."
"No brain?"
"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."
"So
"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."
"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"
"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"
"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."
"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."
"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"
"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."
"We're supposed to talk to meat."
"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."
"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."
"I thought you just told me they used radio."
"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."
"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"
"Officially or unofficially?"
"Both."
"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."
"I was hoping you would say that."
"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"
"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"
"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."
"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."
"That's it."
"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't rememb
GWB needs to do something about these aliens (Score:5, Funny)
Local Engineers (Score:5, Insightful)
It Left a Hole in the Clouds (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:It Left a Hole in the Clouds (Score:5, Insightful)
What the hell is a secret military aircraft doing in the middle of the busiest airport in America?
First, if it's supposed to be a secret, it certainly shouldn't be hovering over an airport. It should be out in a more deserted environment. Second, even if it was some kind of weird test, the fact that it distracted people who were doing things like driving airplanes, repairing airplanes, etc. implies a threat to public safety and I don't think the military would go for that. Finally, the risk that something could go wrong--collision, malfunction, etc.--and end up spilling the beans and potentially injuring people would be really stupid. Even the military isn't that stupid.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Never let rookies fly the stealth UFOs
Smells like a hoax... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Smells like a hoax... (Score:4, Funny)
a photo does exist (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Smells like a hoax... (Score:4, Funny)
The French news is the most interesting (Score:5, Interesting)
http://www.cufos.org/cometa.pdf [cufos.org]
(Note that I don't promote cufos.org, nor know anything about the site.)
BAD link - full copies of the COMETA Report (Score:4, Informative)
COMETA Part 1: http://www.ufoevidence.org/newsite/files/COMETA_p
COMETA Part 2: http://www.ufoevidence.org/newsite/files/COMETA_p
(Please note that I am not connected with ufoevidence.org and know nothing about the site).
Re:The French news is the most interesting (Score:5, Interesting)
http://books.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=48139&c
Basically, I saw a flying disc perform outrageous maneuvers in broad daylight. I can tell you what that thing was not: it was not a helicopter, not a balloon, and not an airplane. But I can't tell you what it was. I honestly don't know.
It still bothers me. I still have dreams about the experience. But the rational side of me must separate what I witnessed (a visual image of what appeared to be an object) vs. jumping to the conclusion that it was a some kind of alien craft. It's tenuous at best to claim that I witnessed something strange - to further claim I know what it was, and that it was alien.... well, that's more than even I can take. I have no idea.
But it still bothers me. And it bothers me even more that even saying this in todays climate is to impugn one's own credibility. Even Michio Kako has publicaly stated that he thinks the issue is worth investigating.
Shouldn't that be illegal alien craft? (Score:5, Funny)
Correct (Score:4, Insightful)
Lenticular clouds...some look like UFOs (Score:3, Interesting)
Check it out: http://pic1.funtigo.com/valuca/?g=25544746&cr=1 [funtigo.com]
Feynman quote (Score:4, Funny)
Pretty much sums up my attitude to the whole thing as well
TSA (Score:3, Funny)
Richard Dolan. (Score:5, Interesting)
You can read the whole of his essay, (in two [keyholepublishing.com] parts [keyholepublishing.com]).
The quote from above comes from the second part. The first part is, what I thought, a fascinating historical review of how the world works with regard to secrets.
Or you can read his book [amazon.com]. It comes highly recommended. --This is not your average "Woo woo, Leonard Nimoy looks at UFO's!" book. It only looks at cases reported by multiple airforce/military/police witnesses, (due to their typically being selected for being sane and sound individuals as well as the procedural documentation recorded in each case as a requirement of their jobs). Even though civilian accounts are left out, the book still manages to cover a couple hundred cases from the 40's to the 70's. It also deals in depth with the military and political side of the issue, and easily refutes many of the common misnomers about UFO's, (of which several are represented on this site).
He doesn't, however, get into what UFO's are here to do. That's a whole other can of worms.
Here is some channeled [archive.org] work which attempts to shed light on that subject, among others. (Beware, with a group like the one this particular material comes from, a lot of creepy people also come out of the woodwork to spread fear and confusion and lies, etc., in order to stop people from looking. So take everything, including this, with a grain of salt. This is the kind of material and subject matter which makes people want to play a lot of video games and shut out eve
Their Perspective (Score:3, Interesting)
That's like them admitting that a person strapped with TNT was walking around in the terminal, and then disappeared. Err... of course they'll say it was an insignificant event/delusion.
Admitting something like that would simply demonstrate the ineffectiveness of our (usa's) defense capabilities... which, considering our spending on defense, would not be a good thing.
Profit Yaweh Can Summon UFO's On Command (Score:4, Interesting)
Then they interview "Prophet Yaweh" from Las Vegas who says that by reading the Old Testament of the Bible in Hebrew, he learned a secret that allows him to summon UFO's on command. So the news channel picked a date, time, and location, and Prophet Yaweh shows up, and immediately summons a UFO, throwing the story rather off track.
Re:US Airspace full enough already (Score:5, Funny)
I for one welcome our unidentified overlords...I think, Im not really sure who they are yet. Where'd I leave my foil hat...
Re:US Airspace full enough already (Score:5, Funny)
Unidentified Flying Overlords
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:US Airspace full enough already (Score:5, Informative)
Aircraft transiting over an airport like O'Hare are vectored directly OVER the airport. When I've done it (albeit at other airports), I was directed to follow the cross-wind runway that is more or less perpendicular to the active runway(s).
This keeps the transiting aircraft directly above the aircraft ON THE GROUND, but out of the airspace used for landing and takeoff. 1900 feet is a bit low for that, but I've made the transit at no more than 4000 feet AGL.
What about employee safety? (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:What about employee safety? (Score:4, Informative)
BTW large birds are definately not "stealthy"! In the future you might want to learn something about the subject you are commenting on before getting just about every detail wrong.
how about a little money? (Score:5, Funny)
True, the government should not spend a lot of time and effort investigating unusual phenomena that may or may not have happened. But the government can just spend a little bit of money. Perhaps ten or twenty people in a government agency, say the FBI, were to be assigned to strange and unusual cases such as this. They could be called unknown-variable-files, or unusual-files, or, say, x-files. Well, actually 10 people would be too many. It would be better to try, say, 5, or perhaps even just 2. Yeah, a 2 man team, investigating cases that no one else can solve, working for the FBI. Or even better yet, make it one man and one woman for more sexual tension!
I think this idea could work, folks!
Re:how about a little money? (Score:4, Insightful)
No. No, it can't.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Good going, France! (Score:4, Insightful)
Well, looks like you never quite figured it out. See, 9-11 "tanked the economy" and "raised unemployment rate" because people had the shit scared out of them. Why did they? Because politicians like Bush wanted to spread fear to distract from their incompetence and institutionalized corruption.
Alien != Little green men from space necessarily (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Aliens, ghosts, and gods never leave evidence . (Score:3, Insightful)
Also, a dozen people sounds great, but... O'Hare is the busiest airport in the US now, I believe - and no one else noticed this th
Re:Aliens, ghosts, and gods never leave evidence . (Score:5, Interesting)
Statistically it's likely that other planets out there support life, and some of them might be advanced enough for space travel. It's a significant but not unrealistic improvement on our own position/technology.
"God" in the biblical form requires an immense level of magic to explain.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
"What? You were probably out all night licking sea anenomea again with those Clownfish sisters and bit down on some coral."
"But I'm telling you, fishermen
Re:frist s7Op (Score:4, Funny)
Kang, you fool! Get your translator working!!
Re:So What? (Score:4, Funny)