Lawyers Ordered to Play RPS to Settle Dispute 265
Rent-to-Pwn writes "After the lawyers involved couldn't settle even the most basic disputes without court intervention, a federal judge ordered the two lawyers to play one (1) game of rock, paper, scissors to settle the dispute. Being a federal case, in theory, it could become precedent for similar, unimportant decisions. Of course, there's no mention of what the two lawyers are supposed to do in case of a tie ..."
Geez... what a precedent (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Geez... what a precedent (Score:4, Informative)
Re:Geez... what a precedent (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Geez... what a precedent (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Geez... what a precedent (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Geez... what a precedent (Score:5, Funny)
Games are patentable (Score:2)
Fortunately, games cannot be owned, under current US IP law.
Yes they can, but only if they are new and non-obvious and even then only for 20 years. Game materials, such as designs on a game board or computer programs implementing the game rules, can also be copyrighted (effectively perpetual), and their names can be registered as trademarks (also perpetual).
Re:Games are patentable (Score:3, Funny)
Oh yeah? [slashdot.org]
Re:Games are patentable (Score:5, Interesting)
Still, whatever examiner passed it ought to be punished in some sort of humiliating way.
I have heard from a friend who is starting work as a patent examiner that they have totally revamped their recruitment and training programs. Now, instead of going through nominal 'welcome aboard' training and being shoved out onto the floor and told to start processing patents, there's like 8 or 9 months of training, following which you're basically an apprentice to somebody more senior (where they have to approve/rubberstamp your work) for a while.
There still seems to be some obvious issues, like the number of patents you process per day/week influences your promotions, so that there's an indirect reward for pushing more paper, but they do seem to be making some progress.
Still, I wouldn't mind seeing them drag out a Dunce cap for patents like that.
Re:Geez... what a precedent (Score:2, Funny)
http://shellcore.smspower.org/pictures/screenshot
probably as fair than most legal proceedings (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:probably as fair than most legal proceedings (Score:2, Interesting)
The funny thing...FTA:
Re:probably as fair than most legal proceedings (Score:2)
Re:probably as fair than most legal proceedings (Score:5, Funny)
Lawyer #2: "Paper"
L1 "Aha! I win"
L2 "No you don't! Paper wraps rock, it says that right here under section 1A of the rule book."
L1 "Look, according to the expert witnesses, rock would rip right through paper. We have a geologist to testify to the strength of rocks, and a materials engineer to testify to the relative weakness of paper."
L2 "Well, we have a person from the Rock Paper Scissors assosiation and another from the paper industry, both of whom assure us that paper wraps rock."
Etc, etc ad infinitum....
Re:probably as fair than most legal proceedings (Score:3, Funny)
Perhaps. We'll see. From TFA:
Re:probably as fair than most legal proceedings (Score:3, Funny)
Perverted is when you eat the chicken afterwards.
Actually, its mostly because the issue is trivial (Score:5, Informative)
This information comes from www.overlawyered.com.
Re:Actually, its mostly because the issue is trivi (Score:3, Informative)
TFA isn't clear on who called the deposition. Most lawyers like to have depostions they call performed on their home turf. The notion is that there is some psychological advantage to have the depostion occur in their own lair rather than in a place the witness will feel comfortable. It's likely the defense called this deposition because Plaintiff wants it set up in a neutral t
Re:Actually, its mostly because the issue is trivi (Score:2)
Not to be a complete prick, but... (Score:3, Funny)
It would be "Rochambeau", and while Wikipedia offers your alternative as legitimate, this is one of those cases where I believe Wikipedia has been overtaken by rude, uncultured philistines bent on destroying all meaningful cultural reference and offering bland Americanized bastardizations in the place of perfectly good imported words.
And just for the mods, who occasionally can't figure this part out, 'I'm Kidding!(tm)'.
Good old rock... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Good old rock... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Good old rock... (Score:2)
Re:Good old rock... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Good old rock... (Score:5, Informative)
It's a reference to a Simpsons episode:
Spoilsport... (Score:5, Funny)
So, why don't you just bite my shiny metal ass? Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder.
Re:Spoilsport... (Score:2)
Re:Spoilsport... (Score:3, Funny)
This is a reference to Bender, a character on the cartoon Futurama.
Re:Good old rock... (Score:2)
Re:Good old rock... (Score:5, Funny)
[Scissors]Nerf rock!!!!
[Scissors]Nerf rock!!!!
[Scissors]Nerf rock!!!!
[Paper] Actually I think rock is fine
Obligatory (Score:3, Funny)
But scissors beats paper! Kif, we have a conundrum!
yeah, but... (Score:2)
Guns Do! (Score:5, Funny)
R typically stands for real in these cases, and not being familiar with rock as a choice, I figured they were going to duel. I like that we can sometimes take the justice system back a few hundred years every now and then. Maybe they should just tie up both parties and throw them into a body of water - whoever lives obviously is wrong!
from 4chan (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Good old rock... (Score:2)
Damn... (Score:5, Funny)
... it has to go and do something like this ... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Damn... (Score:2)
I wonder... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I wonder... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I wonder... (Score:2)
Re:I wonder... (Score:2)
This wont win you all single round RPS games but statistically it's a good plan.
Re:I wonder... (Score:4, Funny)
No, you should use rock. If you lose, you can use it to bash the other guys head in and win anyway ;).
In case of tie.... (Score:3, Funny)
Chose your weapon (Score:2, Funny)
PBF (Score:5, Funny)
A training manual... (Score:5, Funny)
wont work (Score:5, Funny)
whats more (Score:2)
Your next lawyer (Score:2)
Rock Paper Scissors (Score:5, Informative)
Heres what you gotta do:
study up http://www.worldrps.com/ [worldrps.com] and get this http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743267516
You may want to get some fancy RPS gear, http://www.worldrps.com/index.php?option=com_wrap
Also, we knoe those who ignore history are doomed to repeat its mistakes, so why dont you read up on the history of the game too, could come in handy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock%2C_paper%2C_sci
game on your honor (Score:5, Funny)
Echo's of "QUAD DAMAGE" and "J00 CAMPING SOB" in the Halls of Justice.
Re:game on your honor (Score:2)
Re:game on your honor (Score:2)
Sadly... (Score:2)
No skill involved in RPS (Score:2)
With so *much* at stake... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:With so *much* at stake... (Score:2)
Nothing at stake... (Score:2)
Then again, I didn't RTFA - I read the judge's actual order about 15 hours ago when I received a PDF of it from my boss in the morning.
Re:Nothing at stake... (Score:3, Insightful)
Play Paper! (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Play Paper! (Score:5, Funny)
Alternatively, this bit probably applies best to lawyers:
But if the other side will rationally choose scissors, then the sensible course of action is to throw rock.
But if the other side reasons the same way, then obviously you'll have to play paper.
Either way, never get involved in a land war in Asia.
Re:Play Paper! (Score:2)
And in 20 minutes... (Score:2, Funny)
"We are appaled by this decision. Including Rock and Paper in a decidedly Scissors arena is yet another tactic by activist judges trying to legislate from the bench. They keep pushing this kind of alternate agenda down our throats. Alternate Dispute Settlement indeed! Keep your Rock and Paper away from my Scissors. We don't need that kinda stuff here!"
RTS? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:RTS? (Score:2)
Can two Scourges play against each other ? Been a while since I've last played W3...
Rock Paper Scissors Spock Lizard (Score:3, Interesting)
Who would have guessed... (Score:2)
"Has the jury reached a verdict?" (Score:3, Funny)
Re:"Has the jury reached a verdict?" (Score:3, Funny)
Judge "Very well. Death by stoning."
I shudder to think what they'd do for paper. Death by bureaucracy?
Re:"Has the jury reached a verdict?" (Score:2)
I'm disappointed... (Score:2)
Re:I'm disappointed... (Score:2)
Guess we'll have to Roshambo for it! (Score:5, Funny)
(Digging for Arrowheads)
Pip: OOH! OOH! I think I found one!!
(Cartman has hold of the other end.)
Cartman: No, I found it!
(Cartman and Pip hold the large arrowhead by opposite ends.)
Pip: Oh, I do believe I found it first.
Cartman: No, I did!
Pip: Oh, dear...
Cartman: Well, guess we'll have to Roshambo for it.
Pip: What do you mean?
Cartman: Well, first I kick you in the nuts as hard as I can. Then you kick ME in the nuts as hard as YOU can. And we keep going back and forth until somebody falls. Last one standing gets the arrowhead.
Pip: Oh, my. Well, I suppose if I must...
Cartman: Okay, ready? I'll go first.
(Cartman takes a step and hauls off, kicking Pip square in the balls. Pip immediately turns blue and falls to the ground coughing. Cartman looks pleased. After Pip stops coughing, he finally manages to speak.)
Pip: Well, I guess you win.
Cartman: Oh, I don't care, you can have the stupid arrowhead. I don't want it.
(Cartman tosses the arrowhead down to Pip, who is still lying painfully in the dirt.)
--
That would make court dramas interesting!
It would have been more interesting... (Score:2)
If the judge had ordered them to roshambo to settle the dispute.
-Laxitive
In related news...Betting on the event has begun. (Score:4, Funny)
The law for kids (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:The law for kids (Score:2)
Re:The law for kids (Score:2)
If the court house steps were mandatory, I'd travel to Orlando to watch.
Re:The law for kids (Score:2)
The ruling is that if they can't agree on a deposition location, they are to settle it by a game of rock, paper, scissors on the court steps. I didn't see any wording which would allow for the game to be played elsewhere... aside from doing it just for shits and giggles *after* they agreed on the deposition location.
no, read it again (Score:2)
If they can't agree on a neutral site, they use the courthouse.
Each lawyer is entitled to bring one paralegal.
At that time and place, one game will be played.
So it's a done deal. They will be playing rock-paper-scissors
at 4 PM on June 30. The only question is location: courthouse
steps or elsewhere?
Not at all (Score:5, Insightful)
Coin flipping (Score:5, Informative)
I mean, sometimes officials can state with a fair bit of certainty that 1) it very important to make a choice... you can split the baby in half, and 2) with statistical certainty, that either outcome is equally prefered. In this case, such a procedure is appropriate even in law or elections.
Re:Coin flipping (Score:2)
No RPS comment would be complete... (Score:2)
It was almost the perfect crime... (Score:5, Funny)
RPS25 (Score:3, Interesting)
See, Saddam [rockpapersaddam.com] did it - he was way ahead of his time!
Bah! The judge should have.... (Score:2)
F
This is nothing (Score:5, Interesting)
On the other hand, in New York City courts determine which judge is assigned to the case (a CONSIERABLY more important question) are by spinning a wooden wheel with all the judges' names on it. (I'm sorry I don't have a citation)
missed the obvious issue (Score:2, Insightful)
Dear USA? how did it get like this? (Score:2)
How many billable hours? (Score:2)
Previously, I believe the RPS game with the most on the line has been the world championship with a prize of US$10,000. I co
Cool Judge! (Score:4, Insightful)
His solution was quite appropriate to the situation presented. And it just might have shown the lawyers how silly the dispute was.
Toss a coin (Score:3, Insightful)
I recall this happened in two seats in this year's local elections (where the number of electors is small and the turnout is even smaller).
One of the losers was interviewed on the radio and seemed quite cool about it - "fair enough", he said.
Even funnier Judges decision over Tucker Max (Score:3, Insightful)
I hang out on another web site a bit (Tucker Max) and he was sued by a guy that was being made fun of in a few of the threads.
The guy's lawyer was BEYOND a hack, and the judge's verdict from the site made me laugh out loud.
Thread is here: http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?
I'm no lawyer by any means, but I can tell that the judge had FUN belittling the guy. And, he actually had sentences using phrases with "fisted by a gorilla" and "jerkoff".
More importantly, this was a pretty serious precedent that was set, in that the operator of the board was not held to be responsible for the comments made by the members.
It's definitely worth a read if you have 10 or 15 minutes.
In case of tie... (Score:5, Funny)
there's no mention of what the two lawyers are supposed to do in case of a tie ...
File an appeal?
The judge should have sent them to... THUNDERDOME! (Score:3, Funny)
One lawyer leaves!
MASTER BLASTER RULES BARTERTOWN!!!
*cough*
Re:Umm... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Funny yes....but "your rights online"? (Score:5, Funny)
It obviously belongs in Games [slashdot.org].
Re:Possibilities (Score:2)