Waiting For Hasselhoff

Gamasutra has another in its series of articles about games from Schadenfreude Interactive. The highly unusual developer has gained acclaim for its Cthulu Karts title, and the Gamasutra site looks at what it was like getting mega-star David Hasselhoff to do voice work for their game. From the article: "When we heard Mr. Hasselhoff would be in nearby Frankfurt for an appearance, we jumped at the chance to have him record a few lines. Crispin was somehow able to get Mr. Hasselhoff's agent to agree. How he was able to explain what Cthulhu were, and why they were racing karts, I do not know (I will tell you, though --Cthulhu are a race of hideous godlike trans-dimensional monsters created by author H.P. Lovecraft. They are racing karts because, well, karting games were popular at the time)."

Punchline

[CableModemSniper]

Hasselhoff ends up not showing, so an intern actually does the voice-over.

Idea for next /. Poll:

[Trogre]

How do you pronounce Cthulhu?

1. Cuh-thoo-loo
   
2. Cloo-thoo
   
3. Cuh-loo-loo
   
4. Cuh-thu-luh
   
5. Cuk-koo
   

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[remembertomorrow]

Number 1 here...

Mainly because of "The Call of Ktulu" by Metallica :P

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Trogre]

Number 1 here...

Uh, are you saying you would pick option 1, or that you are number 1?

(see below)

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Vexar]

That's quite a sig, number six.

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Trogre]

Finally, someone got it!

(or at least everyone else was too embarrased to say anything)

I am not a number, I am a free man.

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Vexar]

It was cool enough that I explained it to my brother-in-law, who is neither a programmer, nor exposed to the series.

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Monsieur_F]

I think I am missing part of the joke. Why are you using a float ?

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Trogre]

Because those Rover thingys float on water quite well. :)

No, actually it's just there to make it more obvious that it's C code.

And yes, it does compile if you wrap it in a main() function :)

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Monsieur_F]

Ok, but it is misleading. AFAIK all characters in the serial have an integer number. No "hello, I am number 8.246"... and we are on /., so C is the default language for most readers anyway

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Trogre]

I know, but u=6 just doesn't look as funny.

To the best of my knowledge Patrick McGoohan also never said "If i aren't a number, then please free the memory at location man!"

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Qzukk]

How do you pronounce Cthulhu?

No-one knows the true pronunciation of this elder god's name, for those unfortunate enough to stumble upon it, invariably utter it aloud, resulting in the summoning of this dread being to the mortal realm, whereupon it devours the souls of anyone nearby.

That said, I prefer 1) Cuh-thoo-loo

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[grammar fascist]

No-one knows the true pronunciation of this elder god's name, for those unfortunate enough to stumble upon it, invariably utter it aloud, resulting in the summoning of this dread being to the mortal realm, whereupon it devours the souls of anyone nearby.

That said, I prefer 1) Cuh-thoo-loo

Well, you're obviously wrong. I mean, you're still alive, right?

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[arose]

That may be the reason he prefers it...

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[LittleBigLui]

So this is a kind of inverse-democratic poll, where the option with the fewest votes wins?

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[swv3752]

It'sm really pronounced mo zil la.

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[EngMedic]

That would be Hastur, and you have to say his name three times in a row.

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Dr. GeneMachine]

FHTAGN! [macguff.fr]

Not a race, not an elder god

[mcvos]

No-one knows the true pronunciation of this elder god's name,

You're a bit closer than TFA, but Cthulhu is neither the name of a race, nor an elder god (although he is very old and worshipped). According to Cthulhu Mythos, Great Old Ones are a race or group of very powerful, godlike beings distinct from elder gods or outer gods, and Cthulhu is one of them. Lovecraft himself was a bit more fuzzy on the subject, and in most stories Cthulhu is the only one who gets called "the Great Old One". General "Old O

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[farrellj]

"Campus Crusade for Cthulhu...IT found ME!"

ttyl

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Clazzy]

CowboyNeal-loo?

Chew Through You

[Adriax]

First time I read it there was a misspelling that omitted the first 't', so it got stuck in my head as Chu-thoo-loo, Chew Through You.

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Megane]

8. Cuh-boi-neel

(You insensitive clods)

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Petrushka]

6. Cthool-hoo. Why the extra syllable?

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[Trogre]

You can really say 'cthool' all in one syllable? Is that even possible without bringing on some kind of seizure?

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[KDR_11k]

That may be because I'm not a native English speaker but kthool seems pretty pronounciable to me.

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[mgv]

How do you pronounce Cthulhu?

      1. Cuh-thoo-loo
      2. Cloo-thoo
      3. Cuh-loo-loo
      4. Cuh-thu-luh
      5. Cuk-koo


I think its pronounced "Hooka Chuka" [youtube.com]

Note to mods - you have to follow the link to know if this comment is off topic or not

Michael

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[creepynut]

You forgot Cmdr-taco-koo

Mod Parent Up!!

[Cybrex]

The AC is right, if a bit pedantic. According to HPL, Khlul'-hloo is the closest approximation that human speech can produce.

However, the generally accepted (and much easier) pronunciation is Cuh-THOO-loo. This is how it's pronounced by the HP Lovecraft Historical Society (http://www.cthulhulives.org), as well as the organizers of the Necronomicon sci-fi/fantasy convention held annually in Tampa, FL (http://www.stonehill.org/necro.htm), whom I know IRL.

I believe that pronouncing it "AIIEEEEEEE!!! THE MADNES

Re:Idea for next /. Poll:

[euxneks]

6. Kuh-thool-hu-
AaaaaaAAAaaAAGHGKKKGK!

Cthulhu Is...

[NickFortune]

"Cthulhu are a race..."

Cthulhu is a unique, singluar and fictional deity invented by HP Lovecraft. The description given fits Lovecraft's Elder Gods, as well as a horde of more mortal monsters he created in support of his pantheon.

Yes, I'm being pedantic.

Yes, I'm probably missing the point.

No, I don't care.

Re:Cthulhu Is...

[Anonymous Coward]

You're --

> Yes, I'm being pedantic.

But...!

> Yes, I'm probably missing the point.

er....

> No, I don't care.

Damn, checkmate.

Re:Cthulhu Is...

[Wilson_6500]

You pedant! You're missing the entire point! Don't you care at all?

Re:Cthulhu Is...

[Seraphim_72]

Um..by point -

Your are right He is singular, thank goodness.

No you are not. When you get to make a race of the singular, alert the Gandalfs; Wizards of great renown, The Conans; Barbarian Kings, and the Bushes; a group of presidents that...nah, lets not do that one.

You might be missing the point, but it is a good one to miss. But again if you would like the other side, consider that after the Trilogy of Tolkien was on film I had to drag out the Silmarillion to convince someone that 'Balrog' was a race n

Re:Cthulhu Is...

[umbrellasd]

Go karts, man! Frikken GO KARTS!

AWESOME!

*hits the gas and zips along at a roaring 15mph with a look of fishpeople murdering glee in his one brown and one blue eye*

*twitch*

Re:Cthulhu Is...

[sesshomaru]

Star-spawn

The star-spawn of Cthulhu (or Cthulhi) are beings who arrived on Earth with Cthulhu. They resemble Cthulhu and may be his progeny. Like Cthulhu, they can mutate their shapes, but always retain their master's distinctive outline.

After coming to Earth, the star-spawn built a great basalt city called R'lyeh on an island in the Pacific Ocean. They warred briefly with the Elder Things, but thereafter established a treaty. When R'lyeh sank, the star-spawn became trapped beneath the sea with Cthulh

Re:Cthulhu Is...

[deceased comrade]

It bothered me too. thats like saying "jesus are a race of nice guys who do stuff," it doesn't make sense.

Re:Cthulhu Is...

[Lendrick]

"Cthulhu are a race..."

No no. Cthulu Karts is a race.

fandom beyond the color of space

[Finkbug]

"No no. Cthulu Karts is a race."

Funniest thing I've read in months.

Worth remembering that the vast majority of Lovecraft's output was letters. (That'd be snail mail, with stamps, for you youngins.) Most of the "mythos" is the work of obsessive fans. Frank Belknap Long & Clark Ashton Smith are unfairly neglected. Long's work was closer to Lovecraft's but acknowledged the existence of the outside world. Children, sex, jobs, that sort of thing. Clark was a rare word vomitorium. He knew what the words mean

Re:Cthulhu Is...

[geekoid]

1 authors can create fictional races
2 there can be a race of one

For x = 1 to 3
        "repeat after me 'Haster'"
next x

Uh-oh

[Anonymous Coward]

Just tell me he didn't have to ride the Hasslehoff to get it.

knight rider move?!?!?

[kn0tw0rk]

I thought that was only to be practiced by consenting adults.... /ducks

For those who didn't get it...

[cgenman]

These are the Schadenfreude Interactive guys. [phobe.com]

I'll let you come to your own conclusions about Mr. Hasselhoff's schedule keeping abilities.

It's too bad. I really wanted to license that German Deathmetal song.

Ja! Ja! I eat vermin
Yeah! Yeah! Taste them squirmin'
All alone or on a cracker
I am a maggotsnacker
Die! Die! Die! Die!
Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! etc.

Re:For those who didn't get it...

[grammar fascist]

These are the Schadenfreude Interactive guys. [phobe.com]

For those who don't know... well, the name of their company is awesome. Schadenfreude is a German word that describes feeling joy over someone else's sorrow (literally "damage joy," if I recall correctly). Imagine the feeling of watching a gaming opponent fail miserably. It usually has a negative connotation.

Except when you use it to sell Cthulu Karts. That's frickin' awesome. Better than sharks with laser beams.

Re:For those who didn't get it...

[Petrushka]

I am a maggotsnacker
Die! Die! Die! Die!
Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! etc.

Why would someone write a song with a line that goes "the the the the"?

Re:For those who didn't get it...

[Lars T.]

That is already the translated version. Though I don't know why he didn't translate the "Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja!" line. And yes, I did get the Simpsons reference.

Can't resist

[dtfinch]

Hooked on a Feeling - David Hasselhoff [google.com]

DEW ARMY FTW

[tepples]

Better yet, DEW!!!!! [ytmnd.com]

Re:Can't resist

[MobileTatsu-NJG]

Ugh. That level of camp HAD to be intentional. There's some blurb floating around the net that people made fun of Baywatch and Knight Rider, then kept making fun of it, which kept generating him more money.. or something like that. Heh.

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

still laughing

[shaitand]

Seriously, how massive a fit of laughter did hearing of Hasselhoff called a 'mega-star' send you into?

Re:still laughing

[echidnae]

I take it you've never heard him sing "Hot Shot City". It's particularly good.

Re:still laughing

[Jah-Wren Ryel]

Seriously, how massive a fit of laughter did hearing of Hasselhoff called a 'mega-star' send you into?

Not much, since anyone who has watched much saturday night live knows that Hasselhoff is a mega-star in germany, and jokes about it grew stale years ago.

Re:still laughing

[Jah-Wren Ryel]

No, he isn't. Of course, he is known for his roles in Babewatch and Knight Rider,

Ten seasons of Baywatch plus spinoffs. Show in 140 countries.

he was moderately successful with his stupid "Looking for Freedom" song eons ago

That entire album went triple platinum. Subsequently, he has had 6 more albums reach platinum.

That's better than 99% of signed musicians ever do. So, if that's not enough to be a "mega-star" then what does it take? 8 platinum albums?

Re:still laughing

[chrismcdirty]

Plus it was because of him that the Berlin wall came down.

Re:still laughing

[Jah-Wren Ryel]

Plus it was because of him that the Berlin wall came down.

Well, him and KITT. He could not have done it without his little buddy.

Re:still laughing

[geekoid]

if you world recognition, and can sell out in podunct idaho, thats a good sign you are a mega star.

when did muscians bacome stars?

Re:still laughing

[shaitand]

I suppose there is no clear definition. But starring in a couple tv shows (regardless of how popular, and he wasn't the popular one in Baywatch) and a music video is hardly my definition of 'mega' star. It might start to qualify him for superstar. When he wins a few Academy Awards and stars in major hollywood films as the lead on a regular basis for 10-20+ years. That might begin to qualify for mega-star.

Some musical mega-stars might be Elvis, The Beetles, Ozzy Osborne, and Michael Jackson.

Simply being succ

Re:still laughing

[Jah-Wren Ryel]

He got pretty big in Europe I guess, but that hardly makes him a megastar in the states

Please try to follow along. I never claimed any such thing. From my original post:

Hasselhoff is a mega-star in germany

Re:still laughing

[shaitand]

Please try to follow along. My original post mocked his being claimed to be a mega-star period. You objected to the claim. Saying that someone is a mega-star in an individual EU nation is like saying Drew Carey is a mega-star in Ohio.

Re:still laughing

[Jah-Wren Ryel]

My original post mocked his being claimed to be a mega-star period.

Then you fell off the path at the start. The article is written by a German, in Germany talking about a German game production.

Re:still laughing

[EnsilZah]

More like a sick feeling for me.

He's like the non-Sci-Fi version of Shatner.

Re:still laughing

[Evilest Doer]

He's like the non-Sci-Fi version of Shatner.

How ... canyoupossibly...compare David Hasselhof to the Rock-it-man! [google.com]

Re:still laughing

[AuMatar]

Lets looks at his career.

1)Knight Rider. Awesome show, he drove a talking car.
2)Baywatch. He got to stare at Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra half naked every day.
2a)He made a shitload of money doing that
3)He's a rock star in some countries. WHo the hell doesn't want to be a music star?
4)He played a concert at the fall of the Berlin Wall.

I'd trade for his life in a second.

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:still laughing

[Feanturi]

Would you trade your life for a second if it was Michael Bolton? What about Yanni?

Considering they both probably get laid way more than I do, yes. In half a second.

Re:still laughing

[shaitand]

You see I am a little more picky. For me getting laid alot would not be enough. For me it would have to be females who you got to lay.

Re:still laughing

[sharkey]

5) Getting a nosejob so that you look like him will get you hundreds of horny chicks tearing your clothes off and make it possible for you to quit your job as a 3rd grade teacher.

Re:still laughing

[bobm]

5: He was in 'SpongeBob the Movie'

Re:still laughing

[Skroggtar]

6)He was lead in a production of Chicago a few years back. Seriously, this man's output is massive adn varied; everyone knows his name and he's still getting work.

I feel dirty

[LunaticTippy]

I actually looked up his career, and here are some surprising facts:

He was in over 100 movies/tv shows
The newest listing in imdb (currently in preproduction) is...Knight Rider, the movie . He plays "Michael Knight"
William Daniels, who was the voice of K.I.T.T., was in about as many movies/tv shows as Hasselhoff. An impossible range of shows from Knight Rider to Faery Tale Theatre to Galactica 1980.

I liked him in Knight Rider as a kid, but after I grew up never respected him. I had no idea he had such a pr

Re:still laughing

[MobileTatsu-NJG]

"Seriously, how massive a fit of laughter did hearing of Hasselhoff called a 'mega-star' send you into?"

He bought the rights to Knight Rider and Baywatch. That was smart. Damn smart. Those two alone are likely to return enormous royalty checks for the rest of his life. I chuckle at the idea of him starring in some big dramatic role, but mega-star? Nah. Dude did a few years of a couple of cheesy shows, became a household name, and has enough money to shut either of us up permenantly.

Re:still laughing

[PMuse]

Jay [imdb.com]: Why is Hasselhoff such a big star? People have taste, they should know better.
Kay: A person has taste. People are dumb, anxiety-ridden, cliquey herd animals and you know it.

who needs that

[squarefish]

When you spend your days playing hoff invaders [iinet.net.au]

Watch out for the Trans Am!

[SeaFox]

Does Cthulhu drive KARR in this game?

Re:Watch out for the Trans Am!

[KillerCow]

Does Cthulhu drive KARR in this game?

I heard that he drove a cdr. /scheme

Cthulhu Karts

[Repton]

Man, I would totally buy that game..

Re:Cthulhu Karts

[rjdb]

I hear there will be a limited edition that comes with a complementary wig...

i note that the major claim of the article is fals

[XO]

They didn't actually get the Hasselhoff to do the voiceover. :(

Are you kidding me?

[Anonymous Coward]

A fictional anecdote from a parody website is what we get now? Did someone actually think this was real? Granted it's not very funny, but that's just because a somewhat amusing concept was mercilessly pounded into the ground.

About damn time

[DoctorHibbert]

Who moved my Hasselhoff? [damienkatz.net]

*cough*

[ultramk]

Of course, any Hasslehoff discussion is incomplete with mentioning...

THE HASSELHOFFIAN RECURSION [post-literate.com]

Behold, and weep.

You can thank me later. Muah hah hah hah!

m-

could have been titled

[geekoid]

"Geek gets polite blow off, thinks he's cool."