Tech Headlines You Won't Read in 2005 171
prostoalex writes "Folks at Silicon.com posted a list of tech headlines that you won't see in 2005. Read about spam volume decreasing, Sun revenues soaring, Longhorn operating system delivered on time and bug-free and other news you're unlikely to see in the papers."
Hmmm... (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Hmmm... (Score:5, Interesting)
well, the cnn tech predictions for 2004 is right here [cnn.com].
ultimately last year's predictions were a bust: voip didn't take off, outsourcing didn't become an election issue, the nasdaq didn't rally like crazy. in fact, the only prediction hellwig got right was that digital music did continue to be popular and record labels did continue to be pissed off about it. really just a "more of the same" prediction.
bottom line: if you really know what's going to happen next year, you're probably a multimillionaire stock broker instead of some hack journalist.
Re:Hmmm... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hmmm... (Score:3, Informative)
Which election were you watching? Does the phrase "Benedict Arnold CEOs" ring any bells?
Re:Hmmm... (Score:2)
Interesting link, thanks.
"in fact, the only prediction hellwig got right was that digital music did continue to be popular and record labels did continue to be pissed off about it."
His prediction would be that there would be shakeout in the digital music industry:
"Everyone from Gibson Guitar to PepsiCo to Wal-Mart has announced that they are getting into music downloads in one form or another. The only companies seeing any bottom-line money in any of this are the record labels themselves and compan
ANTI-predictions are EASY (Score:3, Insightful)
How about something challenging like predictions instead?
Re:ANTI-predictions are EASY (Score:3, Funny)
Or a mortage processor. My punk nephew made $10k last month for pushing mortage loan paper work around. I sometimes wonder why I'm learning to become a network desk jockey. Sheeesh... kids these days...
Least likely headlines (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Least likely headlines (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Least likely headlines (Score:2)
Slashdot Website Awarded Pulitzer
Parent is modded funny, but this might actually happen within the next 5 years if only for the moderation system. Even with all the faults, Slashcode is pretty good considering that there are thousands of posters every day.
Re:Least likely headlines (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Least likely headlines (Score:2)
That's correct, but if the role of reporters is to provide information, methods of weeding-out crap has to be implemented.
Many "news services" are just PR machines and the concept of journalist has devolved into hiring degreed people trained in the art of writing and pop culture.
Re:Hmmm... (Score:5, Funny)
OK so I'm still bitter from an eBay auction debacle early this year. I sold a mac laptop, the title was NON WORKING POWERBOOK G3. In the auction text I had
THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO CPU
THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO HARD DRIVE.
THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO LOGIC BOARD.
THIS POWERBOOK HAS NO BATTERY.
THIS POWERBOOK IS NON WORKING
just to make sure people know it's not working. Hey, it'd suffered a lightning strike and I'd dumped the parts that didn't work, kept the ones that did, and was attempting to sell on the remainder that wasn't any use to me. The screen worked, but that's all. Maybe the keyboard. I clearly marked it as being useful for SPARE PARTS ONLY.
So what does the dipshit that buys it for $70 do? email me the day it arrives to them asking complaining that it doesn't power up.
People do not read. They see pictures and go "I WANT!" and slap down their cash hoping for the best. Reading is too complicated. It wouldn't matter if the headlines WERE "Linux is really the best OS for you" or "Using Linux makes your dick bigger" few would take notice, they'd just look at the pictures.
Re:Hmmm... (Score:2, Funny)
Yes but did you say specifically that it cannot BOOT. What about people who dont know computers and dont know the importance of any of those parts?? maybe to them it might st
Re:Hmmm... (Score:5, Funny)
THIS POWERBOOK DOES NOT RUN OFFICE
THIS POWERBOOK DOES NOT RUN OS 9
THIS POWERBOOK DOES NOT RUN MARATHON
THIS POWERBOOK DOES NOT RUN
Re:Hmmm... (Score:2)
Ahh, but does it RUN LINUX ??
Slashdot added a spellchecker? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Slashdot added a spellchecker? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Slashdot added a spellchecker? (Score:2)
I thought "it's" is a contraction of "it is". That is what dictionary.com says too.
Re:Slashdot added a spellchecker? (Score:2)
All these "its" in one post made my reptilian brain visually add a "t" in front of the words.
(I'm off to sublime directory again for research purposes)
Re:Slashdot added a spellchecker? (Score:2)
It's slow to do repeated corrections that way, and what if I don't use American spellings?
There is a perfectly good spellchecker for Firefox [sourceforge.net] - it's based on a Firefox port of the spell checker from Mozilla Composer/Thunderbird.
From now on, we know that people asking for a
Re:Slashdot added a spellchecker? (Score:2)
Stephenson Humor (Score:5, Funny)
Tech Headlines You WILL Read in 2005 (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Tech Headlines You WILL Read in 2005 (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Tech Headlines You WILL Read in 2005 (Score:2)
Re:Tech Headlines You WILL Read in 2005 (Score:3)
USATODAY:Linux expands beyond the office into home (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:USATODAY:Linux expands beyond the office into h (Score:2)
Here lies our proof of mass market acceptance of Linux in the home:
Linux as the O/S of choice for the lowest of low-end systems.
Linux installed by the techno-geek son.
WalMart sells Linux!
Four models with bottom feeder specs sold off a website and buried three layers deep. Be still my heart.
Good luck getting free home delivery or a brand-name sys
More headlines you won't see... (Score:5, Funny)
"Slashdot karma key indicator of future financial success"
"Microsoft to release a real operating system"
"89% of Americans think we need a C with more pluses"
Re:More headlines you won't see... (Score:2)
What??? You mean it doesn't?!?!
Re: (Score:1)
Re:More headlines you won't see... (Score:2)
Your computers uptime is directly proportionate to...
Re:More headlines you won't see... (Score:2)
sorry, had to...
Re: More headlines you won't see... (Score:1)
People who post to Slashdot on Christmas actually have a life.
and yet a few more headlines you won't see... (Score:2, Funny)
"SCO wins lawsuit"
"Microsoft bought-out by OSDN"
Re:More headlines you won't see... (Score:5, Funny)
- slashdot finally fixes HTML to be standard compliant and restores old karma system with points.
- emacs and vi decide on the same set of keyboard shortcuts and start merging their codebase
- A poll recently showed that the french do take a shower every day
Re:More headlines you won't see... (Score:2)
Well, a real survey by the BBC a few years back actually showed that a larger percentage of French people shower every day than, for instance, British people.
They missed the obvious... (Score:5, Funny)
They missed the obvious...OOPS. (Score:1, Funny)
"The RIAA/MPAA will go out of business."
"Sex will be better in 2005."
Re:They missed the obvious...OOPS. (Score:4, Funny)
Mobile giants: 3G spend worth every penny (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Mobile giants: 3G spend worth every penny (Score:5, Informative)
Eh, all my friends have 3G mobile phones, with free video calls within their net and for a small fee to other nets. They've also got several tv-channels (such as news, music, etc) to choose from for a flat fee, not to mention full internet connectivity. But then I live in a civilized country like Sweden.
Re:Mobile giants: 3G spend worth every penny (Score:3, Funny)
Denmark?
Re:Mobile giants: 3G spend worth every penny (Score:2)
As such, I don't think we'll see 3G phones widely in the USA until Cingular, Verizon, and Sprint can justify the enormous amounts of money needed to set up these networks.
3 in the UK (Score:3, Informative)
Most of the applications like watching a clip of today's news, cricket, etc are extra though... quite cheap at 50p a pop but can mount up quite easily.
Missing: (Score:5, Funny)
The patch (Score:5, Funny)
CHICAGO (Reuters Tech) - Computer scientists claim the patch, printed by Microsoft Press, can be applied anywhere but U of I Professor Stephen Molovich claims the best place to put it is, "Right on your forehead, so people can see it every morning in the mirror." The patch is an ordinary sticker with the words, "Use Firewall. Don't Install Crap. Turn on Auto-Update" on it.
The patch sells for 2 cents when bought in bulk and expects to retail at 5 cents (3 Euro cents). The Open Source community has reverse-engineered their own patches using off the shelf equipment like Avery stickers and Sharpies. OSS advocate Bruce Perens was overhead saying this about the patch, "The big question right now is whether we can get people to use GNUpatch rather than the Microsoft Press patch. It doesn't matter if it's on your arm or on your cat. If we can get people to wear it, security wins in the office and at home."
Re:Missing: (Score:1, Funny)
- slashdot finally fixes HTML to be standard compliant and restores old karma system with points.
- emacs and vi decide on the same set of keyboard shortcuts and start merging their codebase
- Bush admits his campaign involving weapons of mass deception
- A poll recently showed that the french do take a shower every day
OSS and Linux (Score:2)
How about... (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, wait. This was supposed to be about stories we won't hear... Nevermind.
And In Other Unlikely News (Score:2, Funny)
Where is SCO in this list? (Score:3, Interesting)
Going one step further they will start advocating Linux and the advantages of Open Source.
Re:Where is SCO in this list? (Score:2)
Another.... (Score:3, Funny)
"Intel introduces AMD64 killer"
Another....Guess who? (Score:1, Insightful)
"Slashdot will migrate to XHTML and CSS."
"Rob will start caring about the site again."
game of the year (Score:5, Funny)
This COULD happen.... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:This COULD happen.... (Score:2)
Re:This COULD happen.... (Score:4, Funny)
Solar radiation wants to be free.
Re:This COULD happen.... (Score:2)
Another headline that won't exist..... (Score:5, Funny)
Study shows slashdoters get laid more often than Pandas.
Tech Headline I WISH I could read in 2005... (Score:5, Insightful)
The A Team (Score:1, Funny)
BSD dies (Score:2, Funny)
Re:BSD dies (Score:2)
Re: (Score:1)
Here's another... (Score:2)
How about.. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:How about.. (Score:2)
503, 503, 503, 503, 503, damn...
What this really means is.. (Score:2)
Same thing every year, no news.
Indian firm opens Middlesbrough call centre (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Indian firm opens Middlesbrough call centre (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Indian firm opens Middlesbrough call centre (Score:1)
Re:Indian firm opens Middlesbrough call centre (Score:1)
To add to my earlier post, when these companies acquire other companies or start a new company outside India, they are protecting themselves by 'hedging' , for ex, if they were restrictions on outsourcing, they would still have revenue from their outside ventures.
The other Indian sector companies that are looking out for acquisitions are Automobile, Auto Ancillary, Oil
Here's another one they missed: (Score:4, Insightful)
King of North v King of South (Score:1)
Headlines from bizarro world (Score:5, Funny)
$20 computer speakers deliver rich, full sound.
Nerdfilter [nerdfilter.com] slashdots a site.
Buying robot dog sane move, claim psychologists.
VoIP company turns profit, plans to spend half of it to call ma with the good news.
Firefox and IE usage down as people discover this seasons new sitcoms.
MMORPG player doesn't complain about, "the grind" for once.
Mom, dad, and little sister all understand what you mean when you say, "MP3 bitrate."
New technology not applicable to pornography delivery claim computer scientists.
Burt Rutan has something nice to say about NASA.
American adults now smarter than new Treo smartphone.
Adding bold to 'MCSE' on resume got local man a job.
New open source app has easy to remember and pronouncable name.
Holiday cynicism... (Score:1, Offtopic)
Many of these items sound more like desireable long-term goals rather than things that we should just throw up our hands and say will never happen. Wouldn't it be nice if spam volume decreased? Why shouldn't more tech IPOs be reasonably successful? etc.
What plausible headlines would you like to see, and what goals do we need to reach in order to see them happen?
More of them... (Score:2)
"Apple annouces its release schedule for the whole next year. 'We are sick and tired of all the quarreling with rumor sites, so we wanted to cut it once for good' - explains Steve Jobs"
"It was supposed to be just yet another iPod killer... but this time, the clever digital music player from XXX company really made it!"
"A-hah! I predicted it back in 1978! Columnist John Dvorak happily comments the
one more (Score:1)
Long-Horn is bug free (Score:2, Funny)
But then there's the Network... the magical realm of connectivity. Longhorn will be exploited before you can type:
"Microsoft finally got it righ-*Award Medallion BIOS v8.0, An Energy Star Ally*"
Microsoft files bankruptcy (Score:2)
Longhorn will NOT ship on time... (Score:3, Interesting)
An utterly stripped version of it probably will, but without any of the four pillars [msdn.com] remaining, it'd be like a Beatles reunion with members of Abba taking their place.
Obviously (Score:2)
The Rock moves on to Broadway
My Predictions for 2005 (Score:2)
1) Chinese companies will flood the market with good enough PCs for $100 or less.
2) Solaris on x86 gets a significant share of users (Thanks to the opensource plans)
3) Microsoft gets out of the Eolas case with an out-of-court settlement and makes an unsuccessful covert attempt to instigate Eolas to sue Mozilla foundation.
4) Microsoft files for insanely huge number of patents, almost all of them trivial.
5) The SCO and Microsoft EU cases continue to drag for another ye
Identity Theft becomes a thing of the past... (Score:2, Interesting)
http://www.consumer.gov/idtheft/ [consumer.gov]
News for Nerds (Score:2)
"Asteroid wipes life from Earth"
Of course, headlines about climate change (I can't say that even a "New Ice Age started" headline wont happen) will happen, and probably a lot of them. And i'm pretty sure that even with all of this, the "USA approves Kyoto Protocol" (or something like that) headline will not see the light.
On the IT side, don't think a headline like "Half of Windows users switched to Linux this month" will happen
mod silicon.com -1 flamebait +1 funny (Score:2)
Oooh! Oooh! I got one! (Score:4, Funny)
~Philly
Re:Oooh! Oooh! I got one! (Score:2)
Dozens rejoice? I don't even know if you're being real or just outright mean :)
Dog, Bob (Score:2)
"Retired Unemployed and Bitter Microsoft Bob Shoots Cute Fuzzy XP Search Puppy"
Forever? (Score:2)
Markets go mad for tech IPOs
Spam drops back below 50 per cent mark
Indian firm opens Middlesbrough call centre
ID cards: Government offers to waive charges...
UK police 'well resourced' in fight on cyber-crime
Brit: I really did win £10m on Dutch email lotto
Mobile giants: 3G spend worth every penny
No oddball lots on eBay this week
Sun revenues soar: Wall Street baffled
CIO now stands for 'Cherished', 'Important' and 'Odds-on for CEO'
Symantec: 'No more acquisi
longwho? (Score:2)
Really MS should drop windows and write a POSIX compliant OS [or at least one that is closer]. That would be swell.
Tom
Commercial Fusion Power Plant In Operation (Score:2)
Here's mine (Score:2)
Riiiiiiight...
Longhorn? (Score:2)
- traskjd
Happy Christ-Mass to the Cult of the Dead Cow (Score:2)
Re:"Beleaguered Apple Files For Bankruptcy" (Score:2)
Re:"Beleaguered Apple Files For Bankruptcy" (Score:2)