Massive Layoffs At AOL

JLavezzo writes "Several news sites are reporting that the United States' largest ISP has laid off 750 employees. My sources at AOL put the actual number at approximately 950 regular employees and 300 contractors from various departments including new technology and marketing. The contractors aren't mentioned by the news outlets. Severance packages are known to include up to four months pay and keeping laid off employees on the AOL payroll through February (to retain health insurance). With most of the layoffs coming from the Northern Virginia offices, what are their hopes for finding new jobs?"

"Massive"? Kids these days.

What, a measly 950 people is what passes for a "massive" layoff nowadays?

Bah, you kids. Back in my day (2000), we didn't feel right about going to lunch unless we'd shitcanned at least 1000 people by then. And two months on the payroll plus four months of severence? Bah! Back in my day you were lucky if you didn't have any personal possessions in the building when it was locked and the contents auctioned off on behalf of angry creditors.

We *knew* how to make employees feel worthless. Layoffs via SMS! Contracted goons standing in the office in case they went postal! Taking away their razor scooters!

Now get off my lawn, you damn kids.

Breaking News....

...Slashdot Headlines Consistently Sensationalize Everything!!!

Re:"Massive"? Kids these days.

You think he's joking too. Layoffs by SMS [theinquirer.net] have happened.

Re:"Massive"? Kids these days.

I'm friends with Tag Loomis (guy who programmed shoutcast) over at Winamp. He's a really nice guy.

They had 3 programmers working on winamp, he never did work on winamp, only shoutcast.

They also had a visualization skin programmer too.

They were all fired, and he's the only one left, and sole programmer of Winamp now.

I've brought several bugs to his attention, but he just can't keep up doing it all alone..

He tells me that he expects nullsoft to be terminated soon because it's definately not making them any money. He says the only reason AOL bought them was so they could compete with Media player if they decided to push advertising for it. Kind of like netscape competing with IE.

I asked him what he'd do if he's fired... he said he's probably start delivering pizza again, cause he's looked and looked for a job to transfer to and can't find one.

He worked for Pheonix bios for several years, and if you have that bios your system is likly running code he's written.

Re:"Massive"? Kids these days.

Oh god that's scary. A fairly famous programmer can't get work, and we're supposed to compete right out of college?

Re:"Massive"? Kids these days.

No, you'll get a job because you're fresh ... thus easier to pay. A Famous Programmer will want twice what a college grad will get...

Re:"Massive"? Kids these days.

He tells me that he expects nullsoft to be terminated soon because it's definately not making them any money

This was rumored for a while, right? Like these articles [slashdot.org] from 3 weeks ago [slashdot.org].

The Winamp guys have my sympathy, but they will find jobs if they try hard enough. If I can get a job (Laid off twice since 2000, I will be laid off next year, my coworkers are leaving for other jobs before they get laid off), the programmers of one of the most famous pieces of software will also find jobs.

Re:"Massive"? Kids these days.

Back in my day you were lucky if you didn't have any personal possessions in the building when it was locked and the contents auctioned off on behalf of angry creditors.

So you worked for Acclaim, I gather?

Speaking of "welcome to 2000"

What, you're just figuring out that a free market will seek out labor where it's the least expensive?

See, that's why I've been honing my aggresive driving, sword-fighting and other misc. pizza-delivery skills: Jobs that can be done overseas will be done overseas.

Obligatory Slogan Reference

"You've Got Severance!"

Re:Obligatory Slogan Reference

Goodbye

boo

if they'd only spent less on all those darn cds...

Merry F'ing Christmas

What a lovely gift. No?

Not good news

Even though AOL is heading downhill and many people are happy to see them head that direction; it's never good news to hear that many people getting let go. I always hoped AOL would evolve and not sink.

But with AOL on their resume....

I think even McDonalds would think twice about hiring them:

Manager: "So do you have any customer service experience?"

AOL Scab: "Well, I worked tech support at AOL for 2 years."

Manager: "We only hire people who will fuck up small stuff. We can't handle AOL sized crap here"

As an interesting side note..

...The severance package was particularly generous, as it include two AOL trial CDs, with a combined total of 2048 free hours.

In related news

In related news, the USPS today announced 1,250 redundancies after a recent analysis suggested a 90% reduction in 2005 postal volume from the Northern Virginia area.

Don't blame the economy.

What is with all the posts blaming this a sour economy?

It is NOT an economic failing when an antiquated dealer of yesterdays technology downsizes...And then eventually goes away.

Think about it. A majority of people are hooking up with local broadband dealers (cable, dsl, wireless), I would not be surprised to see AOL go the way of the Cart and Buggy dealers of old....And it will not be the economy that does them in, it will be the fact that their main product is obsolete.

Good, this will improve the lives of many employee

Look, I worked at AOL tech support for a year. In some towns, you can't throw a rock without hitting someone who hasn't (Ogden, Tucson, Reston, Jacksonville, etc).

This is how it goes: normally, it's your first "real" tech job. Before this, you were the guy your friends and relatives called for help. In my case, it was my first job, ever. No McDonalds, no BK or Gap, or Orange Julius in the mall. Straight to the tech world. Your parents will be so proud.

Then you actually start working there. The hell that is (nearly) 24/7 tech support with some of the dumbest people, both coworkers and customers, is nearly endless. You realise how large and illiterate most of America (nay, the world) really is. Not computer illiterate, the plain' old fashion kind.

You enjoy the banana splits every time the stock splits, but you're a part time employee 'cause you're workin' your way though school. So you don't get any stock. Your fellow coworkers try to plan a coup and go on strike, form a union or something (which is strictly forbidden in the contract agreement). But it falls flat and you watch some good men and women go down. You get a small promotion.

Then you get sucked into the workload, dumping your calls at 7 minutes, 'cause hey, you have an average call time to maintain. Fuck being helpfull, if granny's PC is taking too long to boot or you thought you'd try to blindly import her mail from Eudora or Caldera on an OS7 Mac, tough shit. She gets the dreaded call transfer.

By trying out some of our special offers, she can get a month of free service. No really, it is a good deal. The trust that we've maintained over the last 6 minutes is a great thing to shatter with that "please hold." Hopefully she'll hang on the line just long enough that she'll be the 10th tel-save today, lest your boss compare your marketing transfer scores to the woman with the honey-sweet voice a few cubes down.

Screw women, this is where you become a man. A hardened, overtly-bitter and disgruntled man. You also hone your skills in down pat. Everything can be done with your eyes closed "sleeping" at your desk, or shooting nerf balls at the hottie down the row. Don't worry, she'll never know it was you. The security guy at the front desk might, though.

It only takes a few months to hate all people and computers. But at 17-24 years of age it will look damn fine on your resume. Future employers will go "wow, AOL, huh?! How'd you like that?"

And like Michael Bolton, you'll tell them it was great. And you can't really pick out your favorite moment.

As for people over the age of 30 wearing birkenstocks or tie-dyed shirts, please don't. It's just sad. We know you like your Mac. It says so right on your shirt. And no, you're not really "the" mac daddy. But nice try.

Anyways, you needed a goot boot in the pants to get you into a "real" tech job. Because by now, you realise that AOL isn't. So mourn for a few days, then get your ass in gear. You've got Interviews.

Re:Chances for Jobs

As someone who has one of those juicy government contracting jobs, I can tell you that they're a hell of a lot easier to get once you have one of those juicy government security clearances.

Re:Chances for Jobs

As someone who has one of those juicy government contracting jobs, I can tell you that they're a hell of a lot easier to get once you have one of those juicy government security clearances.

--
I want a free iPod Photo [freephotoipods.com]

Let's see...you have a juicy government contracting job...and are spamming one of those pyramid-free-iPod schemes...

Intriguing.

Re:Chances for Jobs

I guess that I got lucky. My current employer [saic.com] was willing to hire me for a position that required a DoD clearance even though I didn't have one yet. I was young and willing to work for less money than I was worth because of the missing clearance. It took about 7 months for me to get my clearance, and in the past two years my salary has caught up to what I feel I'm worth to the company.

Re:Ok

You are so out of touch with reality it's not even funny. There are many purposes to business, but being a guaranteed source of employment is not one of them.

You may of course complain all you want about the whacked out corporate culture in North America and Europe, and I'll probably agree with you. It is whacked out. But your solution, making employment an entitlement, is even further out past the fringe of reason.

Did you want AOL to provide "make work" employment for these people? Send them out back digging holes in the morning and filling them back up again in the afternoon? Send them all out in vans to shopping malls across the country to hand out AOL CDs?

Re:Ok

In Iraq they are paying Iraqi's to perform jobs that can be done more efficiently with modern technology. Why are they doing this? To create jobs and distribute wealth into Iraq. Similar things were also done during the Great Depression. Keeping a stable society comes at an expense. Corporations are in the Business to make money. However, they are also making their money from society. Therefore they should have a moral obligation to also do what is good for the community. I understand that lay offs are necessary to keep a company in business. However, Corporations that lay off people to soley chase huge profits should be taxed more than a company that keeps it's employee's. Similar to the idea that the idle wealthy should be taxed more than the working wealthy.

Re:back to their previous jobs of course

Yep. . .the article said mostly "new technology" and "marketing". . . my buds at AOL said it's MOSTLY marketeers, they're just also shutting down some of the R&D shops. . .