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Got Evil? Buy it Here! 216

Saint Aardvark writes "I just came across VillainSupply.com, and I'm sold. From Doomsday Devices to Robotic Tigers to Randroids, these guys have got it all. Don't forget the convenient, accessible self-destruct device!"
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Got Evil? Buy it Here!

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    Price: Starts at US$3,700,000,000.

    yeah, i smell a new austin powers moving coming out...
  • Damn! Now there will be villianous competition.
  • two weeks (Score:5, Funny)

    by Alric ( 58756 ) <slashdot@tenhundf e l d.org> on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:00AM (#3748133) Homepage Journal
    I give them two weeks until some humorless secret service agent sends a threatening letter to their ISP.

    To Elbereth...
  • henchjobs (Score:3, Funny)

    by Zugok ( 17194 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:01AM (#3748136)
    Damn it, none of the links would work in the henchjobs section. That sucks. Just when I got used to entering my resume online to all this recruitment agencies.

    I am a rocket scientist you know.
  • by SquireCD ( 465008 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:03AM (#3748138)
    www.findanddestroy.com used to be a store who sold such items as, "Shut That Bitch Up Duct Tape" and "Hide That Body Quick Broom Closets"
  • Evil Realtor (Score:4, Informative)

    by Alien54 ( 180860 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:04AM (#3748142) Journal
    They also own Evil Realtor.com [villainsupply.com]

    This compares with the 20th Century castles [missilebases.com] site, which also has this item that would make a good lair [missilebases.com].

    and which is a real item

  • by GeorgeTheNorge ( 67545 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:07AM (#3748144) Homepage
    I was hoping to order an Emporer Zurg action figure.
  • damn slashdotting (Score:2, Interesting)

    by MrSloth ( 544065 )
    Ok, maybe slashdot shoulf offer to lend people bandwidth if they link them. Seems like it only takes moments for a small page to go down.
  • by sconeu ( 64226 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:08AM (#3748147) Homepage Journal
    the "convenient, accessible self-destruct device". But do they have the murder device with the "unnecessarily slow dipping mechanism"?
  • by skydude_20 ( 307538 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:08AM (#3748148) Journal
    and my first thought was the next version of Windows was released
  • Argh! (Score:2, Funny)

    by URoRRuRRR ( 57117 )
    This reallly got my hopes up, I was expecting like a spy gadget store. Then I get a disclaimer that says it's owned partly by nazis and the carts are offline because 'heros' blew up their base.

    Is it April 1 again?
  • Where's the "convenient self destruct button" at?
  • and / or home depot and wal mart.

    sometimes target, but usually they have too many nice things, so thats where i buy my gifts for friends.
  • by $carab ( 464226 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:13AM (#3748165) Journal
    www.villainsupply.com is owned and operated by Global Domination LLC, a consortium of organizations devoted to the consolidation of global capital by a single cabal or individual. Member organizations include The Trilateral Commission, The Bilderberger Group, Alternative 3, The World Zionist Conspiracy, VilAnon, The International Union of Mad Scientists, Majestic-12, World Freemasonry, SMERSH/The Second Soviet, Switzerland, The Arctic Nazis, The Hellfire Club, Price/Waterhouse/Coopers, Sanrio, Archer/Daniels/Midland, Dr. DeSpayr, The U.S. Military-Industrial Complex, and Amway.

    I think they forgot the The great and sinister VA "Software" keiretsu [everything2.com].
    • What they did forget was the Pentaveret [imdb.com]

      It's a well known fact, Sunny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentaveret, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet triannually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.

      And don't forget Colonel Sanders, because he puts a secret ingredient in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly!

    • .....Palistian fundimentalist supermarket.
    • Treachery!
      This is slashdot, and the first company you noted missing from the list wasn't Microsoft!

      I'd rant more, but I've got to go get a net and get tomorrows breakfast.
    • Someone needs to update their footer -- it's not PWC (PriceWaterhouseCoopers), it's First Monday ... err .. no, that's a crappy Supreme Court show. Two Mondays from last week ... Monday, Next Monday, Last Monday ... nevermind. It was something silly from the minds that brought us "Accenture" -- although now in hindsight, losing the whole "Anderson" name seems pretty brilliant.
      • although now in hindsight, losing the whole "Anderson" name seems pretty brilliant

        This was literally my first thought when the whole Anderson mess started. Goes to show you what I feel is important.

      • I hate to do this, but I feel obligated to correct you. The actual name (plus slogan) is:


        It's all right here. [monday.cc]

    • by jeti ( 105266 )
      I think there's a typo. Actually it should read:
      Price/Waterhouse/Coopers/Sanrio/Archer/Dani els

      Never Smile.
  • Those are the slashbots that are always carrying on about how the world should work like Ayn Rand said it should, right? :)

    Not to say that I didn't like The Fountainhead; I'm just not sure if I want to live my life in a similar vein, or live amongst people who are doing so.

  • but do they have a psychotic arm for my former nazi scientist?
  • by loucura! ( 247834 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:26AM (#3748202)
    That convenient self-destruct device into their webserver.
  • by muzzmac ( 554127 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:26AM (#3748204)
    Perhaps a pre-recorded evil laughing device.

    I find MUUUUAAAAHHAAAHHAAAAHAHAHAHA! can be very taxing on the voicebox after a few hours.

    "Evil laugh augmentation device. Pat Pend"
    • (* Perhaps a pre-recorded evil laughing device. I find MUUUUAAAAHHAAAHHAAAAHAHAHAHA! can be very taxing on the voicebox after a few hours. *)

      So *thats* why my boss's voice is always horse. Figured it out finally.
  • Don't forget the convenient, accessible self-destruct device!"

    What for their server? Why is that good?
  • by tomdarch ( 225937 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:27AM (#3748208)
    We're a sorry bunch, but for a site to get /.ed at roughly midnight on a Friday night is pretty sad! I mean, I'm stuck at home running an animation rendering, so, um, I have an excuse. But what about the rest of you!
    • "We're a sorry bunch, but for a site to get /.ed at roughly midnight on a Friday night is pretty sad!

      I mean, I'm stuck at home running an animation rendering, so, um, I have an excuse. But what about the rest of you!"

      This time there is an excuse ... it is only a short time until the next matches in World Cup Football / Soccer start so many people could be up reading slashdot until the game starts.

      • by spiro_killglance ( 121572 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @02:42AM (#3748362) Homepage
        Hey its saturday morning were I am. Been out to
        a club, got pissed, got pissed off by a mate
        snogging the girl i was chatting up. Dancing the
        manic disco dance of the extremely angry. Walked
        to the top of the hill and back, at home cooling
        off reading slashdot. And they say programmers have no life.

        Which reminds me, they need another section on there site, terminal over-reaction revenage devices.

        Al Corpone baseball bat. $50

        Magick Evil Explode a minion hand gesture, in
        case any ask a good question. $10,000,000

        Miniture Zarug battle fleet*. One thousand years
        old each ship the 1.5cm in length. Currently
        enaged in a holy war, the the Verhug captain that
        back what he said about is mother. $5,000,000.

        *garanatee void if used near small dogs.

  • I think some slashdotter found their "convenient, accessible self-destruct device". Or maybe we all did.
  • by borgasm ( 547139 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:33AM (#3748226) Journal
    Come on, we all employ a doomsday device on a daily basis.

    It's called The Slashdot Effect.
  • > "...until his own mother's vagina comes to devour him with sticky pointy teeth."

  • Scenario? (Score:5, Funny)

    by quantaman ( 517394 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:37AM (#3748238)
    Boss: Ahh, the time is at hand. We have but a few minutes while the satellites are perfectly alinged with the moon to form our Death Ray. Alert our forces and the send the fire command!!

    Henchman: Sir, we can't access the central server!

    Boss: What has happened? Did a government spy infiltrate us and take our the control room?

    Henchman: I don't think so sir...

    Boss: Was our facility taken over by a crack military team that has cut power to the mainframe?

    Henchman: Uhhh.. Not exactly

    Boss: Did a team of elite crackers break in at the last minute and upload a virus?

    Henchman: Closer...

    Boss: Well what is it?

    Henchman: It's the slashdot effect! All our communications have ground to a halt, our enviromental controls are turning our headquarters into an inferno and our satellites are going to crash into our island!

    Boss: Arrghh!! Foiled Again! Escape to our nuclear submarine!

    Henchman: Um sir.. remember a few months ago how you wanted us to installed Windows on the sub...


  • Somebody tripped the self-destructo on their website!

  • sounds good (Score:3, Funny)

    by zephc ( 225327 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:41AM (#3748249)
    But i want an Adrian Barbeaubot
  • that is stuff that matters
  • This one is nice too.
  • Where's the 'instant slashdotting'? That's the ultimate in evil. Oh wait, they got hit by it themselves...
  • Not truly evil. (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Oily Tuna ( 542581 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:56AM (#3748273) Homepage Journal
    The super-villian is not 100% evil, he's got the brains to make all these amazing world-destroying devices, powerful computers, wonderful transportation devices.

    The 100% evil people are the ones who haven't quite got the brains. They make crappy computers [dell.com], pathic transportation devices [segway.com], not quite soul-destroying robots [britneyspears.com] and then, and this is the evil bit, they persuade us to turn over our hard-earned cash and use them on ourselves :-(
  • Nobody seems to have mentioned their "in association with evil amazon.com" button! Clearly these are evil villains with a sense of humour!
  • What kind of an "evil supplies" store doesn't sell weather machines or germ warfare labs? You'd think they'd at least stock business hammocks.
    • (* What kind of an "evil supplies" store doesn't sell weather machines or germ warfare labs? You'd think they'd at least stock business hammocks. *)

      They are sold out. A dude named "Osama" bought them all.
      • They are sold out. A dude named "Osama" bought them all.

        You missed the point; it's a Simpsons reference (and possibly the best episode ever!)

        "Don't call me [boss]. I don't like things that elevate me above the other people. Oh, sure, I come in later in the day, I get paid a lot more and I take longer vacations, but I don't like the word 'boss'."

        Hank: "Homer, what's your least favorite country: Italy or France?"
        Homer: "France."
        Hank: "Nobody ever says Italy."

        "Stop him! He's supposed to die!"

        Hank: "If you need anything, you call me."
        Homer: "Allright. What's your number?"
        Hank: "I've never had to call my own company. Someone will tell you upstairs. But Homer, on your way out, if you wanna kill somebody, it would help a lot."

    • For those of you who missed it, this refers to the Simpsons, 3F23, "You Only Move Twice". SNPP [snpp.com] has the episode capsule [snpp.com].
  • A real lair (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Animats ( 122034 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @02:17AM (#3748321) Homepage
    A friend of mine, after cashing out of his startup, acquired a secret R&D lab in a remote farming village in Switzerland. The place is equipped with reinforced concrete walls, a bomb shelter, a freight elevator, an overhead crane, a private power substation, and a server farm. Plus there's a mansion-sized house with an indoor swimming pool.

    What really gets me is that he paid less for the place than a typical house where I live, in Silicon Valley.

    • Re:A real lair (Score:2, Informative)

      by RKloti ( 517839 )
      OT: Bomb shelters are actually quite common in Switzerland. In fact, building and zoning regulations require that there are enough bomb shelters, either public or private, to house a large section of the population.

      Largely a relic of the cold war, but could come in handy if there is ever some kind of major disaster, such as a damn burst (Grand Dixence, Switzerland's highest damn, is at 284 metres high the third tallest dam in the world and the tallest dam in Europe), nuclear meltdown/explosion (there are 6 operating nuclear reactors in Switzerland, 3 of them are PWRs, the other, newer ones are EWRs, there have never been any serious incidents, but it is good to be prepared... and the parliament just decided not to shut down the existing reactors, like Germany is planning to), avalanche or mudslide or a chemical plant explosion (chemicals, esp. pharmaceuticals are one of Switzerland's largest industries, even more so than banking).
    • I think I know the friend in question. B-)
  • by spiro_killglance ( 121572 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @02:18AM (#3748323) Homepage

    I love the humour there. I think it must have been make by Brits, as some of the pictures are
    from 70s brit sci-fi that americans probably
    wouldn't get. Did you spot, Kerr Avon, Zoltan and
    the federation guard uniform from Blakes seven and
    the Giant robot from Doctor who?
  • "You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with freakin laser beams attached to thier heads. Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done."

  • Don't make me pull rank, as I sit on the toilette...
  • by Fiver-rah ( 564801 ) <slashdot@qiken.oNETBSDrg minus bsd> on Saturday June 22, 2002 @02:49AM (#3748369) Homepage Journal
    My favorite bit is AmIEvilOrNot.com [villainsupply.com] (strangely not found at amievilornot.com).

    The top 4 most evil people they have listed:

    1. Adolf Hitler (69.4 % think he's pure evil)
    2. Osama Bin Laden (55.1 %)
    3. Bill Gates (51.5)
    4. John Ashcroft (45.6)
  • In a related link, check out Evil People [gaijin.com]... Supplying you with all your Evil connections.

    He uses a lot of Flash and Shockwave too... I guess people who say Flash is the devil are right! :P
  • farking theifs (Score:1, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward
    yeah just came across... you stole it from FARK.COM... bastard
  • by Animats ( 122034 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @03:14AM (#3748390) Homepage
    Unlike Villain Supply, everything here can be ordered.
    • TKsolver [uts.com]. $399. The spreadsheet for crooked accountants. Allows you to change the totals and have the other numbers adjusted to fit.
    • DestroyIt 5009 CC High Capacity Shredder [destroyit-shredders.com]. $25,999. Gets rid of all those incriminating documents fast. Nixon, Ollie North, and Enron all got into trouble because of inadequate shredder capacity. Don't let this happen to you. Requires 80-amp outlet.
    • Offshore dummy company in Vanatu [mooresrowland.com] $1995. Escape taxes. Do secret arms deals. Pay bribes. Order online through "ultra-secure website" which uses regular HTTP.
    • Armored Mercedes-Benz 600 SEL [summa-ind.com] $69,900. Level V armor. Laugh at wannabe hijackers with AK-47s.
    • Vault Door with time lock [securitysafeusa.com] $7000. Standard bank equipment. Installation extra.
  • The Robotic Ayn Rand: the Randroid. The disclaimers are hysterical.
  • it's so delicously evil
  • Zod knew that his rightful place on this planet Houston (known to some as "Earth"), was to be ruler. Zod eventually made his way back to Superman's Crystal Palace and was able to restore his own super powers. And now that Superman is in a wheelchair (which Zod swears he had NOTHING to do with), there is no longer anyone on this planet left to oppose him.

    So Zod is now assuming his position as your rightful leader.
    You have two choices:

    1. Take his hand and swear eternal loyalty to Zod.
    2. Perish for your defiance.

    The choice is obvious. KNEEL BEFORE ZOD. Truth. Justice. Zod.

    http://www.generalzod.net/ [generalzod.net]
  • So, this thing is one giant redirect for amazon sales, huh?

    If only spammers would get this creative.

    Kudos to this guy. We need more like him.
  • A pet store where you can buy some frickin' sharks with lasers on their forehead. Or at least some ill tempered bass with the lasers. Or a clone 1/8th your size.
  • Those silly gooses! There the ones that we (Gay/Lesbian world domiation & SM club) bought our HomoRay8000a from. It's your standard MindRay6000 with a 12 inch purple control rod crystal inplace of the standard 5 inch. Once that cute guy (the one with the yumy blue eyes) gets done hooking it up, and we finish testing it (on him) we'll be able to make every man in the world "change teams".
    Yes, every police man (clad only in leather jock strap, gun belt, and motorcyle boots) will give and recive head at all traffic stops. Football will be played as it was ment, nude. The Marine Corp. will be filled with screaming bottoms, oh right, it already is.
    Of couse it would happen so much faster if the Jews would sell us their mind control satalite network. Of all the nerve! they won't sell it out right, they want us to lease it form them.
  • Saint Aardvark writes "I just came across VillainSupply.com, and I'm sold.

    Robotic Tiger pricetag: $1.2 billion, batteries not included.

    You're sold? *scratches head*

    Bill, you're not welcome on slashdot. We don't even like your operating system.


  • by Anonymous Coward
    They REFUSED to give me a refund on a defective doomsday device!!!!!
  • I see they have antimatter at $450,000,000.00 per liter. Such a deal! And only 12 liters could destroy the entire planet!
    Maybe I can afford a microliter or so and use it to power a really powerful potato gun?
  • by sg3000 ( 87992 ) <sg_public@nOSpaM.mac.com> on Saturday June 22, 2002 @12:54PM (#3749298)
    For months, I've been trying to order the ROBOTIC AYN RAND (halfway down on the Misc Evil [villainsupply.com] page):

    Need advice about your latest megalomaniacal scheme? If only you could ask history's greatest megalomaniac, "novelist" and "philosopher" Ayn Rand. Too bad she's dead. But wait! In 1963, a secret cabal of Objectivists intent on taking over the Student Union at MIT built the first robotic Ayn Rand, and now you can own a Randroid® based on their original design. Comes with stock phrases such as "Morality ends where the gun begins," "Pity for the guilty is treason to the innocent," and "Nathaniel! Bring me another gin and tonic!"

    Price: US$50,000 includes software*
    *software tends to be rather buggy. For instance, your Randroid may oppose immigration, yet be an immigrant herself. She may oppose infidelity, yet cheat on her husband. She may espouse individuality, yet believe that only those who follow her are individuals. She may oppose the control of individuals by organizations, yet laud corporate power. These bugs can not be repaired.

    Every time I make an order, they say they're out of stock. Apparently some guy in Redmond, WA has cleared out their stock [aynrand.org]!
      You can tall the difference from ayn rand, how exactly?
    • You just solved one of the biggest mysteries od our time.
      I always look at windows, wonder "Why would they move where something goes, Why does half the self seem contradictory and not make sense?, Why would they change what something is called, when everybody knows it by the old name?"
      Its because Ayn Rand is there specifications writer!

      Also interisting, when we live in a world where windows are for looking at, not out.
  • by Afrosheen ( 42464 ) on Saturday June 22, 2002 @01:44PM (#3749468)
    "****requires two specially-trained gay German technicians"

    Any poke at Sigfried and Roy gets 5 stars in my book :)
  • by grunby ( 90338 ) <grunby@NoSPaM.shiftlock.org> on Saturday June 22, 2002 @04:05PM (#3749914) Homepage Journal

    You mustn't forget The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord [harvard.edu].

    Things like number 50: My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

    - grunby
  • Ok, you buy neat toys there, but where are you going to go for practical advice when you want to enslave the world? Captain Electro is sharing his wizdom at The Electro Archive" [thetoque.net]

Houston, Tranquillity Base here. The Eagle has landed. -- Neil Armstrong