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Toys It's funny. Laugh.

A Pizza Box for Your Laptop 526

Posted by CmdrTaco from the just-a-little-bit-late dept.
Dark Twonky writes "Human Beans is selling the perfect gift for the geek who has everything. It's the PowerPizza, a pizza box for transporting your precious laptop in. From the web site: Desirable laptops are desirable to thieves too. Disguise your laptop with a PowerPizza and reduce the risk of getting it nicked."
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A Pizza Box for Your Laptop More

A Pizza Box for Your Laptop

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  • accidents (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward
    And when the pizza gets thrown in the garbage...

    • Re:accidents (Score:4, Funny)

      by frankthechicken ( 607647 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:31AM (#11253628) Journal
      Never going to happen around here.

      Those pizza boxes get double/triple/quadruple checked in case there is the slightest remnant of cheese left before they are reluctantly chucked into the gaping bin.

      And besides who's going to throw away a significantly heavier than usual box without checking inside?

      • Re:accidents (Score:3, Insightful)

        by CountBrass ( 590228 )
        Unlike most people it seems I actually followed the link and checked out the product: what a con! It's a standard pizza box with a bit of cheap foam lining and two pieces of red ribbon to "secure" your laptop.

        You'd have to be insane a) to trust your $3000 laptop to such a pile of shit and b) pay 12.99GBP for such a pile of shit.

        The real question is how much did they pay one of the editors to advertise this crap on /. ?

  • Unless... (Score:5, Funny)

    by tony_ratboy ( 228844 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:27AM (#11253569) Homepage
    The thief is hungry.

    • Exactly (Score:4, Informative)

      by sjf ( 3790 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @11:16AM (#11254164)
      As a former Pizza delivery person (Hello Mamma's in Edinburgh !), I can guarantee that an unsecured pizza box is far more likely to be stolen on a Friday night after the pubs turn out than an unsecured laptop bag.

      The thief wants pizza, is fairly confident that the Pizza company is too busy to report the theft and in all likelihood would never dream of stealing a laptop.

      -S

  • Back Pack (Score:5, Informative)

    by natron 2.0 ( 615149 ) <ndpeters79NO@SPAMgmail.com> on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:28AM (#11253571) Homepage Journal
    I carry mine in a non-descript back pack rather than an obvious laptop case that has DELL written all over it.
    • I carry mine in a non-descript back pack rather than an obvious laptop case that has DELL written all over it.

      Or you could leave it in the DELL box. That would keep any informed thieves away. :)

    • I had a laptop in a nondescript backpack swiped out of my car a few months ago.

      Dunno how they knew there were goodies inside, but there was a laptop-theft-ring operating in Huntsville at the time...
      • If you were aware of a laptop theft ring operating in the area, why leave your laptop in your car?

        • Re:Back Pack (Score:5, Insightful)

          by tomstdenis ( 446163 ) <tomstdenis.gmail@com> on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:48AM (#11253844) Homepage
          Wrong question.

          Why leave your laptop at all?

          When my laptop is not at home I generally don't get that far from it [unless I'm at a friends place or something]. Let's see, 1500$ laptop... 2 seconds to get stolen... hmmm...

          Sure would be nice to live in a world where you don't have to lug things like that around but that's why you have to be smart. Don't take your laptop somewhere unless you actually need it. Duh

          Tom

          • Re:Back Pack (Score:5, Insightful)

            by natron 2.0 ( 615149 ) <ndpeters79NO@SPAMgmail.com> on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @11:02AM (#11253991) Homepage Journal
            Hell, even if I am in an air port or sitting down somewhere if the back pack (that has my laptop in it ) is not on my back I will place my leg though one of the shoulder straps while it rests on the ground just in case some trys to run up and snach it while it is sitting on the ground and I am eating that fine airport cuisine.
            • I do similar stunts. My laptop is in a case though so if I have to use my hands I put the case between my legs [on the ground] tightly so I can feel if it's moving.

              Though I've been lucky. I've caught people eyeing the case from time to time but nobody has ever reached for it or nothing.

              People always misjudge that about Canada. We're polite [to your face] and generally non-violent. But the second you turn your back someone is there to steal all your belongings. ... well it's not that bad but ... hehehe

    • Re:Back Pack (Score:5, Insightful)

      by eln ( 21727 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @11:37AM (#11254360)
      If you've spent any time on a college campus, nondescript heavy bags are just as likely to be stolen as laptop bags, because the nondescript heavy bags are likely to have very expensive textbooks in them.

  • this'll work (Score:4, Funny)

    by unformed ( 225214 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:28AM (#11253572)
    until some stoned kid walks by your car and decides he wants some pizza ....

    he'll take it home and be pissed off he only got a laptop.

    • Re:this'll work (Score:5, Funny)

      by Spy der Mann ( 805235 ) <spydermann.slash ... com minus distro> on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @11:31AM (#11254301) Homepage Journal
      he'll take it home and be pissed off he only got a laptop.

      Yeah, but you're in trouble when he realizes a simple fact:

      1 laptop = LOTS of pizzas!!!

      So he starts thinking of ways to enjoy this "free prize":

      a) He sells it and gets an extra money for pizzas
      b) He steals your passwords, credit card numbers, and orders a pizza with your account (keep the change, you filthy animal). Of course he gets in trouble because he ordered the pizza with "extra anchovies" [imdb.com].
      c) He calls you and asks for a reward for "finding a laptop that some guy dropped"
      d) He calls you and asks for a delicious quantity of money "if you want to keep your data alive and healthy. And don't call the cops"
      e) b) and c)
      f) b) and d)
      g) He backs up your porn folder and sets up a paid website using your credit card, to earn more money.
      h) He backs up all your data and starts blackmailing you when he finds out that besides a porn folder, you also have online dates, AND you're married.
      i) He finds out that you're involved in some illegal activity, and he asks for the double. In case you want to kill him, he published all this data in his personal internet harddrive, and sets up a script to publish all of it on his blog if he doesn't cancel it in 14 days.
      j) Instead he blackmails your g/f and asks her to pose naked for him, or else he'll tell your wife. THEN he uses your credit card to setup a website, giving away the video of your g/f AND publishing your name (just because he felt like it!).
      k) He gives the laptop (with wireless internet) to a hacker friend of his, and do all kinds of nasty illegal stuff.
      l) Among the nasty illegal stuff, he defaces the PowerPizza website, mentioning how they made money with the laptop they stole thinking it was a pizza.
      m) He writes all these experiences in his blog [slashdot.org] and the Hollywood guys buy him the script for "Home alone 4: Pizza Powered".
      n) All of the above. The possibilities are endless!

      Lesson: DON'T use the powerpizza box. It's not worth it.
    • Twenty Dollars! But I wanted a Peanut!

  • Translation (Score:2, Informative)

    by tarunthegreat2 ( 761545 )
    "Nicked" is English for "Stolen" for those who only speak "American".....

  • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) *
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • 1. Steal Pizza Box (because you're really hungry)
    2. Put laptop on Ebay.
    3. Profit!

    Oh wait, I need a ??? in there somewhere...
  • I normally keep my laptop in a Targus backpack. This way it's easy to transport and not as easily forgotten.

    While the pizza box concept is neat to a point I can't imagine putting all the items I need into it and it doesn't seem to be designed for it. Really, who only carries their laptop in their laptop bag?

  • Domino's (Score:3, Funny)

    by AtariAmarok ( 451306 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:29AM (#11253601)
    If your pizza box has a Domino's logo, there is no chance that anyone would steal it to get the contents, either.

    • Re:Domino's (Score:2, Funny)

      by Himring ( 646324 )
      If your pizza box has a Domino's logo, there is no chance that anyone would steal it to get the contents, either.

      Ah, I see I have found another, former, lotus notes admin -- that is, I pray to god you're a "former." If not, then god bless you my son....

  • Are the edges padded? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by SallyShears ( 451561 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:30AM (#11253607) Homepage Journal
    Looks cool, but ...

    I don't see any protective padding at the edges where it's needed.

    -- Sally

  • Why not cut out the middleman... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by d3vpsaux ( 587601 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:31AM (#11253629)
    ...and buy a pizza for that much. Or better yet, buy the pizza and ask for a spare box. Some acoustic foam and velcro, and you're good to go.
  • Wouldn't carrying a pizza box everywhere look more suspicious than carrying a bag around?

  • So thieves just... (Score:5, Informative)

    by Iphtashu Fitz ( 263795 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:32AM (#11253640)
    Look for people walking around with pizza boxes tucked under their arms... That's what'll end up happening after people get tired of carrying their laptop around like it's a pizza.

    • Look for people walking around with pizza boxes tucked under their arms... That's what'll end up happening after people get tired of carrying their laptop around like it's a pizza.

      Especially since your average sized laptop ways 6-8 pounds, which is quite a bit more that your average pizza. It would be like holding a gallon bucket full of water out at arms length.

      Just out of curiousity, how would this thing work when travelling by air? Would airport security just let go by with it? What about when y

  • ...because nobody ever nicks a slice of pizza! LOL

  • Worlds. Stupidest. Product. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by mumblestheclown ( 569987 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:34AM (#11253660)
    For all the reasons that slashdotters are doubtlessly now pounding out furiously on their keyboards and more, this is perhaps the dumbest product I have ever seen.

    If real.

    And I can't be asked to do the due diligence to see if it is.

    • From the websight

      "Spam: from Human Beans. An exhibition of fictional products"

      So your right, it's fictional, but also funny.
    • Dumbest product, but best idea in the world. I can buy a Little Caesars Pizza for $5 USD. I can probably get enough foam, straps, and hot glue for another $5 USD to do AT LEAST 5 boxes. Shipping will be cheap because all the parts weight so little. We're talking ~$8 USD

      Not only do you make profit on every one, you get free food. If someone would hire me to do one of these a day, I'd never have to worry about food again. I imagine the entire "case" takes about 15 minutes to make (excluding pizza eati
  • To prevent some finger pointing and laughing it'd be best to carry this "Pizza Case" horizontally - which would be a real pain and kind of limits this carrying case usefulness.

  • questions? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by WormholeFiend ( 674934 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:35AM (#11253684)
    How do you carry a laptop in a bag? Vertically

    How do you carry a pizza in a box? Horizontally

    There's your disguise spoiler right there.

  • Bad service (Score:2, Funny)

    by mrjb ( 547783 )
    "Please allow 14 days for delivery." Thats gotta be the slowest pizza ever!!!!

  • This reminds me.... (Score:5, Funny)

    by AtariAmarok ( 451306 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:36AM (#11253700)
    This reminds me of back in the day when I delivered pizza for college money. To prevent hungry college students from stealing the pizza, I disguised them in "Packard Bell" computer boxes; that way no-one ever bothered me!
  • While this isn't one of their Fictional Products [humanbeans.net], I don't think I'd be willing to bet the security of my $3000+ laptop on a product from a company that doesn't produce much else.

    I'll stick with my backpack, and never letting it out of my site...

  • Disguise your laptop with a PowerPizza and reduce the risk of getting it nicked.

    and increase the risk of someone throwing it into the trash?

  • Yeah, so... (Score:2, Funny)

    by o'reor ( 581921 )
    My advice to muggers.

    ...how do you know a guy carrying a pizza from a guy carrying a laptop ?

    Hint : a guy handling a real pizza usually does not carry it vertically under his arm...

  • Many moons ago, a company decided to introduce an executive lunchbox, to enable white-collar workers to bring their lunch to the office without having to face the social stigma associated with obvious blue-collar lunchboxes.

    A full-swing marketing campaign was launched, so no one would be ignorant of what those "executive lunchboxes" looked like.

    The result was predictable: EVERYONE knew when some white-collar worker was bringing his lunch to the office, thus triggering the same social stigma as if he were carrying a blue-collar lunchbox, as blue-collar workers would laugh with a big "THERE GOES ANOTHER EXECUTIVE LUNCHBOX!!!" whenever they saw one.

    The phrase eventually became a Madison Avenue monicker to designate a marketing failure...

  • What a coincidence -

    I just bought one of these from Pizza-a-gogo but I paid only £7.50 and got a free meat feast pizza with it!

  • Better be careful with this thing if you take your laptop to a LAN party. "Ummm, who threw out all the pizza boxes? SHIT!!!"
  • This sounds like the oft discussed "Security via Obscurity", and I suspect it would be equally effective. Once word gets around that folks are carrying valuable items in Pizza boxes, even Pizzas won't be safe...

    Now, as a Geek Gift I think this has real potential - but in that "case" they really should have gotten this out before Christmas.

    ---

    Yeah, I do crazy stuff like that here [blogspot.com] too ;-)

  • Mirrordot to the rescue [mirrordot.org]!

    This reminds me of a SNL commercial. Its a broken down pile of crap for a car, but the inside is super luxurious. No one wants to steal a beatup car, so you can live the luxurious life without worrying about theft. Yeah, but you look like a retard.
    How would you feel bringing a pizza box to the boardroom of a fortune-500 company in an attempt to sell you product to executives. Funny idea, incredibly stupid to go through with it, though.
  • I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that I was in the minority of people who actually read the article.

    Something about a link to "Fictional Products" on the top of the page doesn't exactly instill confidence in the product.

    Not that it won't stop a thousand /.'ers from making pizza-box case mods with their laptops and posting links to said mods here.
  • Many laptops are stolen in airports because they are in clearly visible laptop bags - why not stuff a laptop bag full of "old" pizza just for a laugh? This could guarantee some extra-fun airport security checks!
  • Think about it. A hungry thief would steal a pizza before a laptop. Then, when he opened it what a suprise that would be!

    Of course, once he realized he didn't get no grub, he would kill you.
  • A pizza box is probably more tempting to a wider audience than a laptop would be. I carry mine in one of those zip up binders in an extremely old crappy backpack.

  • The dumbest idea...ever! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by jacobcaz ( 91509 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:45AM (#11253811) Homepage
    This is one of the dumber things I've ever seen. They recommend you put the box in your bag, but isn't this exactly why they would want you to buy this in the first place?
    • Putting your PowerPizza in a carrier bag will not only increase the level of disguise - it'll keep it dry too.
    And how awkward would it be to walk around carrying a pizza box? If you tucked it under your arm, people would know it wasn't a pizza. If you walked around with it held in a proper pizza manner that would suck too.

    Really, how hard is it to pick up a nice black leather or blastic nylon bag that isn't plastered with "TARGUS" logos and just KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE DAMN LAPTOP?

    I've owned many laptops for many years and I've never once come close to having it nicked because I tend to pay attention to my surroundings when I'm carrying it with me.

  • Don't need no steenking case... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by 0x0000 ( 140863 ) <zerohex.zerohex@com> on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:45AM (#11253813) Homepage

    I saw a guy on the plane the other day who I thought had the right idea: He didn't have a case - just stuck the notebook in the seat-back pocket.

    I got a big anti-static bag from one of the lab techs that should be sufficient to protect it from such "weather" as it might encounter, and I figure to keep the power brick in my purse/pocket/whatever...

    Laptop cases are an anachronism.

    • And I don't need no steenking $250 London Fog raincoat when a 10 cent Glad bag with a hole popped in the bottom for the head will work just fine!
  • I can think of any number of places I would take my laptop; I can think of very few I'd take my pizza.

    Yeah... basically I think I'd just be embarrassed to walk to any place with a pizza box that wasn't my home or the home of a friend. Actually, the walking between homes with the pizza box would be embarrassing too. My natural habit to hold the box sideways might also attract unwanted attention. I don't even want to consider taking the thing into a coffee place or restaurant.

    I can just see some bloke at
  • Really guys, we know EVERYBODY likes pizza. But to go saying that pizza's are more likely to be stolen than laptops (like 1/2 of the current posters do) is something I highly doubt. In dorms, at the univ, wherever...
    And anyway, no-one said you should leave your laptop unattended when it is inside this pizza box. Where I live people don't break into cars to steal pizza boxes, but they _do_ to steal laptops.

    Z

  • Old news but here's some ideas (Score:3, Funny)

    by adzoox ( 615327 ) * on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:48AM (#11253839) Journal
    This was released several months ago...

    I had done a story on my website [adzoox.com] about it back in July.

    I proposed that people use tampon boxes for their iPods too.

    Eventhough mentioning the Bible doesn't go over well with the /. crowd - another cheap way to "protect" your valuables is to leave two BIbles on the front seat - one where they can plainly see the words Holy Bible - the other with the 8th commandment (Thou Shalt Not Steal) highlighted.

    Even if they can't read or are not religios they know what a Bible is.

    • How is a bible going to keep people from stealing?

      If I was in the mood to steal some things out of parked cars, I'd probably take the Bible, too.
      • You are saying criminals don't have a conscience.

        Everyone knows it's wrong to steal.

        Most everyone, even those who don't believe in God, know the 10 commandments.

        They MAY look at the Bible and pause to think a second.
    • According to a lot of sources, The Bible is the most frequently stolen book (followed by "The Joy of Sex").

      I understand what you're saying, though. It's not entirely unlike telling your name to your kidnapper or a mugger. If they see you as a human being or have even the remotest sympathy for your situation, it reduces your chances of being physically harmed.

      Of course, churches get robbed anyway. So while it might work on some would-be criminals, it certainly wouldn't deter everyone.
  • Who put the f*cking pizza in my pizzabox! Do you have any idea what mozzarella does to a harddrive?

  • On recovery from theft... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Entropius ( 188861 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @10:50AM (#11253861)
    I had a machine stolen about three months ago, and notified the local police. It was running the GMail notifier (that checks mail on bootup), so I emailed Google from my gmail account and told them: "The only machine running the GMail notifier keyed to *account name* was recently stolen. From now on, if someone logs into this gmail account, they're doing it from a stolen machine; could you give the IP address to the local police so they can track it down?

    GMail wouldn't do it, even though there's no threat to user privacy here: the police are the only ones getting information, and that information was requested by the owner of the account.

    That got me thinking: someone (laptop manufacturers) should run a phone-home service, that keeps a log of the IP addresses that send in requests (with an authentication string specific to the user or computer). That way, using that same string and a password, you could get a list of all the IP addresses your machine has connected to the Internet from... which could be turned over to the police if necessary. If you trust the site explicitly, you could even run an applet that will respond to remote instructions (including flashing the BIOS with a "THIS IS STOLEN PROPERTY" message on bootup) when the site's notified that it is stolen. Once laptops start including onboard GPS, this would make recovery a snap.

    This won't do anything to deter sophisticated thieves, who will start formatting drives, but it would be cheap to implement and would provide another layer of protection from theft.

    • Re:On recovery from theft... (Score:5, Interesting)

      by YrWrstNtmr ( 564987 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @11:09AM (#11254070)
      GMail wouldn't do it, even though there's no threat to user privacy here...

      Without a court order, Google has no way of knowing that the laptop was actually stolen. You (and your buddy in the PD), may be running a scam, or trying to stalk someone.

      That got me thinking: someone (laptop manufacturers) should run a phone-home service,

      Some do [inspice.com]

      Once laptops start including onboard GPS,

      /.ers will scream that the EvilGummint(tm) is trying to track everyone.

    • You need to have the police contact them with a court order. Gmail shouldn't do this on someone say-so. However if a court gives the order they must.

    • After two company notebooks were stolen (We're 99% sure it was a certain employee, but have no proof), I started installing DirectUpdate on all the notebooks, updating a record on dyndns.org that corresponds to the computer name. The software is running as a service and there's no start menu, desktop, or system tray icons. Basically, the users are unaware of the softwares existence. If a notebook is ever stolen or gone missing and is connected to an internet connection and booted, I'll be able to track i
  • That doesn't look suspicious or anything. I've seen fake pizza boxes in movies that looked more real than that.
  • Interesting that they put an Apple TiBook, which is the most scratch-sensitive laptop ever. There's even special paint [tipaint.com] to cover the scratches. Now look at those straps (in the flash movie on their site). Will obviously cause scratches. Straps for laptops = bad, unless you got an ugly DELL with stickers all over it.
  • What, nobody points out what a bad idea this is? Besides, I can't see the point. In the first place, lugging that thing around can't be comfortable. Also, if by some deviant twist in reality these stupid things become popular, it no longer does anything but describe the owner as someone who pays thirteen pounds for some cardboard and eggshell foam.

    Go buy a backpack.

    Slashdot: News occasionally. Stuff for sale.

  • Other Solutions (Score:2, Interesting)

    by quis ( 737516 )
    This is really old news now, I saw it a long time ago and decided to make my own, with a twist. Instead of a pizza box I took a box file (for holding documents), lined it with furniture foam and my 12" iBook, mouse and power brick fit snigly inside. What's more the whole thing can also fit in a rucksack.
  • Pointless for anti-theft, but looks like it could be usefull for social engineering. Showing up at someone's office building with a laptop and saying "hey, can I plug into your internal network for a few minutes?" isn't likely to have too much success. Your chances are much better if you show up with 1) a tool belt and CWA polo shirt, 2) a pizza box, or 3) a cleaning cart and a complete inability to speak english.

    Of course, the real hilarity ensues when you bring your pizza box with a laptop in it with y
  • ... at the top of the page. You know, the one that says "Yeah, hey, this product is 100% fake. Please don't bother slashdotting us, or even trying to order one."

  • Now I've seen everything (Score:5, Insightful)

    by glowimperial ( 705397 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @11:06AM (#11254027)
    How on earth did this get slashdotted? This is pure Fark fodder and nothing more. Are they letting the dog post?
  • Until your drunken roomate throws the pizza box away!

    Oh.. yeah.... right.. a drunken roomate actually throwing something away!! LOL!.. nevermind...
    • Oh.. yeah.... right.. a drunken roomate actually throwing something away!! LOL!.. nevermind...

      Mine did. Two words: Projectile vomiting. Had pretty good aim, too.
      Nuff said, I guess.

  • There's no foam on the sides! Drop that box on its edge, and the PowerBook gets it!

    Stupid...
  • Don't let your laptop make you a victim

    Police Hat Desirable laptops are desirable to thieves too. Disguise your laptop with a PowerPizza and reduce the risk of getting it nicked.

    Be safe & protected

    When secured your laptop is prevented from movement and the box can be held at any angle. The PowerPizza box is fully lined with 10mm of protective foam.

    New and Impoved design design

    Based on our customers feedback we've been working on our recipe. Powerpizza is now lighter, quicker and easier to use.

  • It's not a real product (just in case people don't get it)
  • If all you need is a container that holds a laptop that is NOT a laptop briefcase use a paper bag. They are cheaper, static-proof, and freely available.

    Hell, if this is a real concern DONT LEAVE THE LAPTOP WHERE IT WILL GET STOLEN.

    This is a case of identifying a legitimate need and developing a solution that meets the need that is just dumb.

  • That I would more likely steal a slice of pizza I may put your laptop somewhere else after being fooled by the damn box.
  • ...yeah, can you hold the spam and malware?

  • Less stealth, more deterrent (Score:3, Interesting)

    by lildogie ( 54998 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @11:16AM (#11254170)
    I have blue masking tape wrapped around the edge of the screen housing.

    It looks like that's what's holding it together.

    Plus it looks different from all of the other laptops going through security, making it easy for me to keep my eye on it.

    If someone's going to lift laptops, they'll move along to one that looks less like a piece of s...junk.

    Oh, and I also keep my bag with me everywhere except the security checkpoint.

  • Don't pizzas get stolen? (Score:4, Funny)

    by wcrowe ( 94389 ) on Tuesday January 04, 2005 @11:47AM (#11254459)
    Especially on a college campus?

    • I agree. If I had to choose between stealing a pizza or a laptop, I'd steal the pizza. It's worth less than 10 bucks so even if you got caught you'd never actually be charged with a crime. And best of all you'd actually get to eat the pizza.

      However, if I had to choose between being anally raped and stealing and eating a Dominos' "pizza", I'd chose the rape.

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