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It's funny.  Laugh.

The Joystick Is The Root of All Evil 292

Waab writes "David Yoo, of the Parsons School of Design has taken some time out of his busy schedule to put together one of the funniest sites I've seen all year, Mothers Against Videogame Addiction and Violence. With articles like "EverQuest: A Threat to Society?" and "America's Army: A New Low" (articles currently offline "due to editing"), MAVAV gives worried parents one more senseless cause to rally round. Even Tycho and Gabe love it."
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The Joystick Is The Root of All Evil

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  • by notque ( 636838 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @04:52PM (#4983657) Homepage Journal
    I think the typical report card is a bit off. All my friends that played video games were A students. A more typical report card would have been Math: A Literature: A History: A Physical Education: F
    • I played video games all through out school. My reports cards were almost all "C"s, even in Math. While I love math, physics, chemistry, etc., I hate homework. So I would do the minimum that if I got "A"s on all my tests I could squeak by with a "C".

      I loved how teachers would say to me. "You are so smart, look how well you do on your tests, if you just turned in some homework you could have straight \"A\"s."
      • LOL :) That sounds familiar. I did the same thing all through school. Sometimes I cut it a little too close (like having to score a 98 on a US History final), but i managed to squeak by.

      • Lots of geeks are that way - too shy or lazy to compete and lose, but entertaining notions of intellectual superiority.

        Worth is measured by raw potential only during childhood. Afterwards, it is accomplishment that matters. There is no difference between saying "I could have succeeded" and "I failed."

        The main difference between smart losers and dumb losers is that the smart ones have more depression.

  • M.A.V.V. is a parody right? Maybe i'm just a tad slow today, but the whole site is a parody right?

    • Some clues that it is a parody that you might have picked up on:
      The "humor" icon of the slashdot story.
      The link to Penny Arcade where they say it is a parody.
    • by miltimj ( 605927 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:05PM (#4983762)
      Clues that it is a parody:

      Articles like:
      "Videogame Networks or Online Training Camps?"
      "Videogame and Tobacco Companies: Frightening Similarities. Secret Industry Report Revealed"

      One thing that seemed to point to the contrary was:
      "MAVAV (pronounced may-vav) is a new organization run by a group of worried parents..." ...though a whois query turns up:

      David Yoo
      172 E. 7th
      New York, NY 10009
      Phone: 646-245-8414
  • by Rayonic ( 462789 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @04:57PM (#4983696) Homepage Journal
    Actually, only the Atari 5200 Joystick [] is the root of all evil.
  • by alexmogil ( 442209 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @04:58PM (#4983700) Homepage Journal
    I called his last week at the number he left at his domain registration. I didn't believe it, but I also wanted to prove to myself I didn't believe it.

    He was pretty stunned that anyone could call by the tone in his voice.

    He stuttered. He kinda laughed.

    "I was told not to, uhm, tell anyone about that information."
    Oh, so you don't know who the founder is, or what their contact info is?
    "No, I only set it up for them."
    You don't have an email address with which I can get in contact with them?
    "No, I dont have any inform... I can't give it out."
    Will they be disclosing any of that information on their web site?
    "I don't know. I think so."

    So again, I guess I fell for it a bit, but I had a good laugh, too. Some of the article titles were hilarious.

  • by hkhanna ( 559514 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @04:59PM (#4983712) Journal
    I thought only my ex-girlfriend thought that.
  • by Tsar ( 536185 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:01PM (#4983723) Homepage Journal
    Who are these enemies of free speech? The Kids Against Mothers Against Videogame Addiction and Violence website [] has now been taken offline, due to MAVAV's freedom-quashing use of the DMCA. I have come to the sad conclusion that all this hatred, injustice and bigotry will only stop when we frag these MAVAV mothers. Where's my BFG9000?
  • Well, that certainly explains this [].

    The site is convincing enough that Tycho and Gabe (the creators of PA) weren't even entirely sure themselves []:

    "But as regards the dreaded Mavav, I think we have very little to worry about.

    In fact, I am prepared to call it a hoax.

    I hate moms just as much as the next guy, but that site doesn't have the taint of mom. It has the taint of fancy lads trying to get your blood up. No articles. No privacy policy. Some of the language and word choice rings false. The hyperbole takes a step too far, even for a concerned parents site, to hold any water.

    Here is my backup plan: If it does turn out to be real and I just didn't believe it, well, that's because I've reached this, like, hyperspace, higher plane of cynicism where all reality and the people in it are a ridiculous pageant for my amusement.
  • by Bonker ( 243350 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:02PM (#4983729)
    For every site that parodies stupidity like this, the actions that the real intolerants take will be seen and treated with less seriousness. Compare this site to the OLGAnon web boards started by Elizabeth Wooley, mother of a suicided gamer. She blames Everquest for her son's death. Everyone else blames his obvious mental problems. Accordingly, she has a great deal of trouble with people from other EQ message boards who come to hers to try to flame and spam her into non-existance.

    The most successfull of those trolls, however, and the ones that do the most damage to Liz's crusade of self-victimization and responsibility avoidance are those that parody the 'real' posters who frequent the site.

    Not only do those parody posts make everyone laugh at the people who don't seem to have the ability to take responsibility for their own actions, they make the site less credible as a whole.
    • by PD ( 9577 ) <> on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:13PM (#4983818) Homepage Journal
      I want everyone to wake up and realize the damage that the Internet can do to their lives. I am a former Internet addict, and after I lost 15 jobs, my house, my car, my dogs, and my immortal soul, I realized what I had done and just stopped. I used to spend more than 20 hours a day surfing the OLGAnon website, reloading it repetitively, looking for new news. I don't know why I did it, but there you go. I hope my story can save another concerned person from destroying their lives with the Internet. It doesn't take a game like Everquest to lead you to the road of futility and destruction. A busybody mother who knows too much HTML for her own good can be just as deadly.

    • Not only do those parody posts make everyone laugh at the people who don't seem to have the ability to take responsibility for their own actions, they make the site less credible as a whole.
      I disagree. The more parody and satire directed against these misguided would-be crusaders and their alarmist rantings, the better. By mocking them, you show how trite and formulaic their arguments are. It marginalizes their "cause" even further, and makes them look like the whacked-out nutjobs they really are. If someone sees a site like this and realizes it's parody, maybe they will exercise a little more critical thinking the next time they see one that is serious.
  • I wasn't sure... (Score:2, Insightful)

    by JayBlalock ( 635935 )
    I *thought* it was parody (the reference to feral teens on the main page) but I wasn't willing to stake my (nonexistant) reputation on it. There are too many Change-Through-Hysteria groups like this which ARE serious for me to immediately write it off. You can't parody what is already ludicrous.
  • ...but aren't "parody" sites supposed to be, well, I dunno... funny?

    I was expecting well-written and hilarious articles like this one [] but instead it was rather dry. I have a hard time believing this isn't really a site decrying videogame violence as opposed to a parody.

    • ...but aren't "parody" sites supposed to be, well, I dunno... funny?

      They are, this on the other hand, is a hoax, not a parody.

      The only part that's funny is reading the three page posts from people who are taking it seriously. (but that part is funny indeed)

  • Everybody knows videogame violence never harmed anyone. It's nonsense like this that prevents highly anticipated titles [] from being released at their scheduled dates. Slashdotters unite!
  • Great, Just great. (Score:3, Insightful)

    by NeuroManson ( 214835 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:08PM (#4983779) Homepage
    You all know, of course, that like the Bonsai Kitten site, that there's going to be some morons who not only take this site (overwhelmingly) seriously, but will actually use it as incentive to start up their own whiny SUV soccermom groups, to close down video game retailers and host mass modem bonfires, right?
  • Satire (Score:3, Funny)

    by cptgrudge ( 177113 ) <{cptgrudge} {at} {}> on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:10PM (#4983795) Journal
    Why is it that people don't get subtle humor anymore?

    I can clearly see that it is a parody site. From the site:

    "Hardcore gamers never buy computer videogames. Instead, downloading illegally copied videogames or "warez" is the only method acceptable by the underground. Buying a legit copy is grounds for abandonment by community groups."

    HA! What a statement.

    Gamer1: Hey guys, I just picked up Doom 3.
    Gamer2: It isn't retail is it?
    Gamer1: Ummm...yeah?
    Gamer3: He bought retail! That lamer!
    Gamer2: He's a witch! Burn him!
    • "Gamer1: Hey guys, I just picked up Doom 3.
      Gamer2: It isn't retail is it?
      Gamer1: Ummm...yeah?
      Gamer3: He bought retail! That lamer!
      Gamer2: He's a witch! Burn him!"

      Gamer1: Give me a break guys, the Lunix [] version wasn't available yet!
      Gamer2: Yeah yeah, we know the real reason is that you haven't switched from AOL yet. What's the matter, do you feel threatened by their No Hacking Policy?
  • That is the funniest site I have ever seen. I've never considered my LAN parties "online training camps" but ok. I can be a trainer. Gimme a f'n break. The fact that they label all video gamers as "social outcasts" doesn't sit too well with me either. I hope that site is a joke, and they really need to stop twisting their source articles' research. That site makes me laugh more than CAP (farkers know what i mean).
  • project page (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Klerck ( 213193 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:11PM (#4983806) Homepage
    You can find his project page here [] where he has graphs from his hit counter among other things.

    David calls me the inspiration for his final project, as we both visit the same IRC channel. The inspiration came from my petition [] (cached because has seemingly removed my petition) to rename the LOTR movie "The Two Towers" to something else. Of course, it was a joke. However, I'm still receiving responses to this day thanks to a site [] another friend of mine set up and which I wrote the FAQ for.

    Congratulations, David, on another successful internet hoax!

  • Copied from PA's first page:

    "The server for traces here: []
    To a devious clan site, no less! There are definately some good bits on that parody, it is my hope that they take a major media outlet for a ride with it. Answer requests for interviews, etc."
  • my high school years come flashing back...

    A typical report card by a troubled videogame player:

    Computer Education ... Excellent
    English ... Poor
    Mathematics ... Poor
    Science ... Poor
    Social Studies ... Poor
    Physical Education ... Poor
  • ...that society has been a bigger threat to EverQuest rather than the other way around.
  • Facts? (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Pupp3tM ( 182264 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:21PM (#4983885)
    Just two of the "Facts" [] that don't really make sense:

    Fact: Health studies have found that even those casual gamers suffer from low self-esteem and self-pride compared to their athletic and more socially accepted peers in their same age group. Young gamers were found to be more likely to become lifetime gaming addicts and becoming
    social outcasts.

    How often are gamers (let's expand a bit and call them "nerds") compared to "their athletic and more socially accepted peers"? Did these people ever notice that there have always been nerds who are less athletic and less socially accepted, even before video games? Is it so surprising that these nerds turned to a different outlet? Just the fact that they think it's better to be athletic and "socially accepted" shows how skewed this site really is.

    Fact: Hardcore gaming not only leads to videogame addiction and abrupt lifestyle changes, but to crime and felony as well. Hardcore gamers never buy computer videogames. Instead, downloading illegally copied videogames or "warez" is the only method acceptable by the underground. Buying a legit copy is grounds for abandonment by community groups. You may not be buying your child videogames, but they can illegally obtain them off the internet.
    I'm sure many of us at some point have download an illegal "warez" program at one time or other. Does that mean we don't buy games? No. Long ago I had a warez version of Half-Life, but then (shortly thereafter) when I realized how great a game it was, I bought it. It's just like any other piracy: not as big a deal as those industry execs make it out to be. And what is this "underground" they talk about that only accepts people with warez? The only underground I can think of (but maybe I'm wrong) is--surprise--the warez scene. In any case, if you're in a clan or something, nobody can tell if you're using a legal copy (just like, presumably, nobody can tell if everyone else is using an illegal copy). Completely spurious. Oh, and kids can get video games illegally? So can parents. What are you going to do, turn off the internet?

    Scrolling down to the bottom of the page, it also makes that age-old claim of the link between violence in video games and real-world violence. I won't even get into that here, but it's interesting to note that even though they claim "new research" supports them, they don't actually say where this information comes from, or even what the so-called link is. There are some forthcoming articles that might address this. But they're not biased are they?

    • "Scrolling down to the bottom of the page, it also makes that age-old claim of the link between violence in video games and real-world violence."

      I don't believe there's a link between violence and video games. There are two reasons for this:

      1.) We haven't seen a rise in violence that correlates to the rise in video game popularity. It's kind of like that article yesterday about the Port Chicago tragedy. "If it was a nuclear bomb, where's the radiation?"

      2.) What are video games teaching children that cartoons don't? Ever watch Tom & Jerry? Bugs Bunny? Itchy and Scratchy?

      No, don't look at over population in schools and lack of activities for students, the problems must have come from these new-fangled video games. Funny thing is, I think video games will work towards creating friendships and social structures, not against it. Anybody who's made friends while playing Quake knows what I'm talking about.

      "I won't even get into that here, but it's interesting to note that even though they claim "new research" supports them..."

      The research probably went like this:

      "I'm trying to play here, get out of the way!"

      "That's it! He's more violent."

      What's sad is that there's some parents out there who don't know anything about video games who'll read this BS and try to 'shelter' their kids. What do you think the result will be? Well behaved model children? Nope. You'll get rebellion.
    • So... you didn't get that it was a parody yet huh?

  • but some of my friends like the game which shares its name.

  • (...)feral young children and pre-teenage gamers

    What's a "feral young child"? A child raised in a home and released back to the wild? :)

    • What's a "feral young child"

      A young child that has consumed too many chocolate frosted sugar bombs and has escaped through a window, or by vibrating it's molecules between the molecules of the wall.

      Don't laugh. I've seen it happen. Tragic.

  • Fascinating... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by erroneus ( 253617 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:29PM (#4983956) Homepage
    ... someone thinks this may be a joke site but I don't think so.

    There has been a lot of talk about this topic and it's not just games but cartoons like The Coyote and the Roadrunner... or Wrestling on TV or shows like "Jackass."

    It's probably quite real. After visiting their site, I shot off an email:

    Subject: Interesting... ...from a marketing stand-point, MADD is good because it's a word we already
    know. MAVAV attempts to mirror this but it falls short not only because
    it's not a word but because it doesn't roll off the tongue. Have you
    considered "MAVVA"? Sounds like JAVA and spelled similar to "Savvy."

    As a father concerned about things that affect the mental health of my sons,
    I take organizations like yours seriously.

    I have observed the effect on my sons that various games have had on them
    since they were even younger than 5 years old. These games are a very large
    cultural part of my sons' very identities as they are with so many others.
    I was a "gamer" for the longest time until I simply stopped having time for
    them. I suspect the same will happen to my sons when they grow up.
    (They're 10 and 11 now.)

    I think the game with the most memorable effect on them is Mortal Kombat.
    It portrayed amazing violence and gore while using animated photographs of
    real actors as characters in the game. Soon, the boys were playing "Mortal
    Kombat" not as a game on the TV, but between themselves and I was amused at
    the way they did it but mostly I appreciated the gentleness and care they
    displayed for each other as they clearly recognized that the moves being
    executed could really hurt and they didn't actually want to hurt each
    other... of course they pretended but knew the actual difference between
    play and reality.

    This difference has been known by children playing at adult violence not
    merely for decades, but for centuries and millenia. When I was a boy, I was
    "The Lone Ranger" and I even had toy guns strapped to my waist. Before
    that, little boys have been playing with wooden swords emulating their
    favorite Shakespearian actor... it's an inherent part of childhood.

    The inclination to violence is a part of humanity. Addressing only
    videogames would be to make your target so small as to make it trivial. The
    reality is that MOST kids (though certainly not all) know when, where and
    why they should "pull their punches." I hold that kids who have issues with
    reality needn't have video games as a scape goat any more than Wrestling on
    TV or Heavy Metal music.

    My point here is that the actual problem should be addressed, not a
    contributor to the symptom. You cannot change reality for growing children,
    but you can teach children to understand reality. That is the best role of
    a parent -- teaching children what's good and what's bad. Change the
    children and let your children change the world. You can't change the world
    for the children.

    And one more thing -- likely considered irrelevant but still... Spanking is
    good. I haven't had to spank my sons in more than three years. I think
    they are too old for it now but applied properly, I think it's a tool that
    teaches a young mind respect for authority and a sense of his place in the
    scheme of things. It doesn't mean I taught them violence. What I taught
    them was consequence to actions which is exactly why they pull their kicks
    and punches and why they don't carry guns and knives to school. They're
    kind and gentle boys just as I consider myself to be a kind and gentle man.

    If your kids are "out of control" blame yourself for not playing an active
    role in their lives, not the toys they play with. In fact, I play with my
    sons! I participate in their lives and I'm ever-present to supply guidance
    and I'm always challenging their minds. (At around the significant age range
    of 5, they told me they love me because I'm always "tricking them." which
    means I play all kinds of games with them... not only actual games, but
    mentally stimulating games as well which challenges and strengthens their
    logical abilitities as well as physical.)

    I'm all for being a better parent and "protecting" the children, but this is
    not something they need to be protected from. It's rather like immunity from disease -- you can take the plastic bubble approach by filtering the air they breathe or you can vaccinate them and let thei own immune system fight off disease. Vaccinate a child's mind with wisdom and good examples, not by trying to encase the world in a platic bubble.

    Like so many fanatics, I doubt I will influence their thoughts on any of this. The problem with contemporary parenting is that "the world is to blame" and not the parents. These poor dumb bastards have no idea what a powerful influence a parent has over a child... ...if they only knew the power of the Parental Force....
    • Who modded the parent post "Insightful"?

      The poster didn't even realize that the linked site was a hoax. Ye gods.

      Moderators! You must read the article before moderating! We do not need more of the blind moderating the blind...

  • Yep, it's a hoax. (Score:5, Informative)

    by Lokatana ( 530146 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:30PM (#4983960) Journal
    The person who assigned this project might get in a bit of trouble, but, From the project page: []

    December 16, 2002 Final Assignment
    Your final project is going to be making a fully functional hoax. The work must:

    - exist in the public realm
    - be advertised, exposed or introduced to strangers
    - be fully documented, strategies include images, movies, sound recording, and interviews
    - employ the element of craft (they will be judged on both ambition & effort)
    - be fully functional. For example, if the project is a website, you must register the domain name. There should be no connection to this class or to Parsons.

    Think hard about why people make hoaxes. I want you not to just have "fun" tricking people, but think about a message or idea you want to convey. What are the strategies for bringing people in? What is your overall message?

    Your aim should be to create work which is subtle and effective.

    In addition to creating the work, you will be asked to write 3 or more pages documenting your strategy in creating the work. Keep this in mind as you work.

    • by JordoCrouse ( 178999 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:47PM (#4984080) Homepage Journal
      Wow - I wish I had signed up for the "Fool the Shit out of People 101" class instead of these useless computer science courses.

      Whats next? Grifting 203 and the ever popular "Three card Monte" elective? All requirements for the BS in BS, of course.

      • Re:Duh (Score:3, Funny)

        by Bastian ( 66383 )
        Sometime in the area of 2000-2001 you should have realized that all the people who make lots of money at computers spent all their time taking courses like "fool the shit out of people 101" and didn't bother to take a single CS course. CS courses are for employees, who are coincidentally a large cross-section of the people they were fooling the shit out of.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    So, are they called evilsticks now?
  • by ShatteredDream ( 636520 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:30PM (#4983966) Homepage
    Busybodies are the true parasites on society. Forget the welfare babies who suck off the public teat. If you really want to know who is fscking our nation's bureacracy and economy periodically it's the busybodies like these people.

    This reminds me of a scenario at my HS, around 2 years before I graduated. A local busybody bitch from the school board went after one of the English teachers for posting a "read a banned book" sign on the door. She said he was teaching kids to "not respect authority." One little problem, the authorities aren't in favor of book banning hence **we don't have book banning in VA** But she created chaos anyway because she's a "woman of principle." Needless to say that whenever this soccermom, busybody bitch gets bored she finds a new crusade or way to screw up the system. Which is especially sick since VA already has a very efficient local and state government system.

    Look at Tipper Gore. She completely misconstrued the meaning of a Twisted Sister song. She turned a song that was written about one of them going through surgery into one about sado-masachistic sex. Says a lot about that kind of person. These people are zealots and they cannot be reasoned with. Their thought process has not one iota of logic.

    How about you whores do something useful like, "Mothers Against Government Surveillance" or "Mothers Against Property Rights Violations." Oh no. That would require a committment to actually bettering the lot of everyone as opposed to allowing you people to feel like you've imposed morality on the hedonistic, unwashed masses. All the while you're pitching 100mph throws through your glass house's wall. And "ladies," don't even bring religion into this. Christ taught us to be mindful of our own behavior before we concern ourselves with that of others.

    As for video game violence, video games, like art, imitate life in many ways. We live in a violent world. We live in a world where you can get shot by a thug in school because he's suffering from "$RACE Rage" or shot by a government agent in your home in a bogus drug raid. A world where religious zealots believe it is God's will that a nuclear bomb be detonated in one of the unbelievers' major cities. Welcome to reality people. The evening news, not video games, is what desensitizes us to violence.
    • I can't believe you equated Tipper Gore with the "Read a banned book" woman.

      It didn't occur to you that they are opposites?

      Anyway, when the truth is that any teacher who DIRECTLY said some of the stuff that gets books banned would get fired instantly, I think a person who points out where the better thought out subversion is is doing a MUCH needed public service. Books that got banned in other places may not be banned in VA, but they still say things that your teachers can't say and that you TV won't. Stuff like: "religion is nonsense" and "you better learn to think for yourself because most people are idiots and the rest are liars"

      Also, banned books prove how fucked up your neighbors who banned them are. Knowing that is an education in itself.

      Still, I wish our busibodies were less shrill.

      Major Danby replied indulgently with a superior smile, "But, Yosarian, what if everyone thought that way?"
      "Then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?"
      -- Catch 22

    • You're an angry, angry person, aren't you?

      Why not sit down with a cup of hot cocoa (especially nice with a splash of Bailey's) and read a good book (banned or otherwise)?

      Accept that people will argue for their beliefs. You do, why shouldn't they? You want them to form groups to fight government surveillance or property rights violations ("How about you whores do something useful...", in your tactful phrasing). Good causes, probably.

      "Oh no. That would require a committment to actually bettering the lot of everyone as opposed to allowing you people to feel like you've imposed morality on the hedonistic, unwashed masses."

      Why not make your own commitment to better humanity (how noble!) and put in your own time and effort to support ideas you think important?

      If that's too hard for you, why not just respect other people's right to hold opinions? You're welcome to present them with reasoned arguments. Be determined, but not obnoxious. You might just change some minds.

      Guess what. Ranting and cursing on Slashdot--though cathartic, perhaps--isn't going to impress anyone. It certainly won't change the world--for the better, or otherwise. You're right; it is an unpleasant place outside our windows, sometimes. Needed are dedicated souls armed with goodwill. Of no use whatsoever are the anger, intolerance, and seething invective of your post.

      Now finish your cocoa and go to bed. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. I suggest going out and doing a good deed. End the year on a positive note.

      Try not to swear at anyone.

      Good night.

    • Yes, busybodies suck, it is much better to be apathetic to our society, to not stick up for what you stand for, have no principles. Then you wont get upset when our world is completely shit!
  • by mustangdavis ( 583344 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:33PM (#4983986) Homepage Journal
    Most Popular Video Games in the Nation are also the Most Violent (MSNBC)

    The orcs in War Craft III aren't violent,

    they're misunderstood ....

    They just want to be your friend!

  • "The Love of Joystick Is The Root of All Evil"? ;)
  • This site seems a little bit away from the sarcasm line that lets someone know they arent serious.

    While it may seem blatantly obvious here on slashdot that this 'MUST' be fake or trying to be funny, im not so sure it is.

    and remember, when people who read slashdot say video games aren't addictive and this site is ludicrous, its like asking the local crackwhore if drugs are addicitive.... you may be getting a skewed result.

    People here spend more time as a keeper of the grove than father, son, or 'ever' as a boyfriend. :) (a little sarcasm)
  • "Fact: Videogames aren't just for "fun" anymore, the videogame industry made a net income of $6.3 billion in 2002, surpassing even the movie industry." Fun is unrelated to money.
  • Bah humbug, the only thing having one causes is blindness and hairy palms... Oh wait..
  • Actually, despite my reluctance to agree with many of these extremists, I do tend to agree that violence in video games can desensitize folks to killing. One of the things they have to teach/overcome in basic training (in the USMC at least) is to overcome the natural reluctance people have to pulling the trigger to kill someone. The Corps wants to have Marines that will not hesitate at the "moment of truth" and this means reprogramming our basic reluctance to kill. To accomplish this, they have actually experimented with using commonly available computer games and some home built stuff to get soldiers to more readily pull the trigger.

    The thing that worries me is that we have a whole generation that has been growing up with fairly realistic portrayals of killing in the first person shooters.

  • heh heh.. joystick.. heh heh.. root... heh heh. That was cool.

    (That joke'll probably be more popular with Aussies than Americans.)
  • Slashdot the site before my mom sees it!
  • These people should be less worried about violence and more worried about educating the youth of the world ...

    It was because of video games that I have had MANY friends drop classes because it "iterfeared with my game plaing time" or even totally drop out of school. These "kids" would spend hours upon hours in the University computer labs, just plaing video games ...

    Maybe they should form "Mothers Against Computer Labs" (MACL) instead of waisting their time "fighting" a battle against violence ...

    The irony ... "fighting the war" on violence ...

  • Good parodies... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by PenguinX ( 18932 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:47PM (#4984078) Homepage
    All good parodies bring to light something that is "wrong" while suggesting corrective action. Usually that corrective action is absurd and this is why it is a parody. The parody that comes to mind (from a literature standpoint) is Johnathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal", and while his is a little more grizly the real meaning of the paper comes out crystal clear. I suspect that a lot of people on slashdot may be shocked and sort of disgusted at this parody - but there is a very real problem with video game abuse (not the video games or the industry) these days.

    I knew someone, let's just call him Joe Geek. He'd wake up at 3am every day, play EverCrack until he leaves his home for work at 8:52am (of course Joe is supposed to be at work at 9am). Then Joe would stumble in to work and do little for a few hours while checking the boards... then a few hours of hard core work while dosing on caffiene and nicotine to keep awake until he left early at 4:25. The moment he got back to his house he would play until he passed out around 1am. Then his 3am alarm would go off and he'd start it all over again. After a few months of this he looked like a crystal meth freak and had to be torn away from the game.

    Addiction and abuse are real no matter what the thing that is being abused is. Personally I think this is a good parody.
    • by Cyno ( 85911 )
      That's nothing. I wake and bake at around 9am, roll my ass into work at around 10:30 (supposed to get there by 9? I forget), and take a nice long lunch at around 11. After a couple hours I get back to work around 2, finish up a few things and head home at 4:20. Now I'm a professional and I hardly play video games. ;)
  • by magic ( 19621 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @05:50PM (#4984098) Homepage
    I'm a professional game developer. Many of my colleages agree that parents should take an active role in choosing games for their children and should keep kids away from mature games.

    Games are rated, like movies. "Everyone" games are G-rated. "Teen" games are the equivalent of PG-13, and "Mature" games are for 17+. There's also an "Adult" category that is obviously not for kids. Parents should stop buying their kids Mature games like GTA3 and Mafia. These games were not meant for little kids. If you wouldn't take your kid to The Godfather, why would you give them a game where they can role play it?

    Some really awesome entertainment intended for people over 17 gets a bad rap because parents aren't doing a good job at keeping these mature games away from kids. Spending your day peering through a sniper rifle or gunning down crowds is not good for anyone. It is a free country and if you're old enough, you can decide how much of this is ok. If you are a minor, the decision rests with your parents who hopefully will find something more constructive for you to do.


  • No no no! Microsoft is [], not joysticks!

    Oh, sorry, that was The Root of All Evil...

    Hey, wait a sec! That's me!

  • Bullshit : The Sims it the more popular game ever. Unless you consider it as violent ...
  • The server for traces here: [] []
    To a devious clan site, no less!
  • Wacking: The Frightening Facts

    Fact: Wacking isn't just for "fun" anymore, the self-enjoyment industry made a net income of $6.3 billion in 2002, surpassing even the movie industry. Developers profit and continue to take advantage of today's youth with cute, loveable, addictive, and recognizable characters. A practice and strategy similar to those used by the tobacco industry.

    Fact: Wacking has been proven to prevent the development of the proper social skills and interaction needed for a long happy and enjoyable life. Young wackers are prone to being burdened with depression and sadness all throughout their life

    Fact: Health studies have found that even those casual wackers suffer from low self-esteem and self-pride compared to their athletic and more socially accepted peers in their same age group. Young wackers were found to be more likely to become lifetime wacking addicts and becoming social outcasts.

    Fact: Hardcore wacking not only leads to wacking addiction and abrupt lifestyle changes, but to crime and felony as well. Hardcore wackers never get girlfriends. Instead, downloading illegally cloned sheep or "sh33pz" is the only method acceptable by the underground. Buying a legit female is grounds for abandonment by community groups. You may not be buying your child lubricative substances, but they can illegally obtain them off the internet.

    Self-spanking Addiction: What to Watch Out For

    Symptom: Child spending numerous amount of time in their bedroom and at home
    This is a classic sign of a growing addiction. The child spends the majority of his time at home in his bedroom, only breaking out of his "base" for food and bathroom breaks. This behavior is commonly known as a "wacking binge" which can last from a couple of hours, a whole night, and in some extreme circumstances, a full 24 to 48 hour wacking binge (occurring usually on weekends).

    We highly recommend your child's bedroom be absent of all forms of electronic entertainment devices. This includes a home computer, and/or masturbation console systems. It is best for all electronic entertainment devices be placed in a common area where a clock is present and adult supervision is available. If this is not at all possible, we recommend having your child's door remain open and be checked in on every hour. Parents should be extra cautious around the time of bedtime until morning.

    Encourage your child to be more active. Arrange for your child to go over to a friends house for the afternoon, setup a gathering party at your home, or even sign up your child for an after school sport or activity.

    Symptom: Poor school grades

    A typical report card by a troubled wacker:

    Computer Education: Lame
    English Poor
    Mathematics Poor
    Science Average
    Social Studies Poor
    Physical Education Excellent

    Never assume drugs or otherwise is the problem for your child's poor academic performance. Wacking addiction is not to be under-estimated. It is a serious epidemic plaguing our children nationwide. We recommend getting professional psychiatric help.

    Symptom: Unusual "Role-Playing"

    Massive Multiplayer Online Rod Stroking Games (MMORSG) are a digital escape from the real world for emotionally unhealthy and mentally unstable people. It is a place for masturbation enthusiasts and social outcasts to gather un-bothered and un-harassed by the realities of real life.

    While the focus and idea behind MMORSG seems utopian and innocent, the emotional and mental wellness of the wacker can be severely affected: increased anxiety and irritability, argumentative, appetite and weight loss, impaired judgment, paranoia, sadness and depression, loss of interest in appearance, and sleeplessness

    Masturbation addiction has become so serious now that the mass-media now compares self-stimulation to alcohol and drug abuse.

    MMORSG's are the most addicting genre of self-enjoyment available and developers are selfishly aware of these statistics. Developers take advantage of the situation by charging people hefty monthly rates for their "services" and release mediocre expansion pumps to keep the wanking fresh. We caution parents to never hand out credit card information or sign up their child for any suspicious online and monthly services.

    MMORSG's were recently labeled as one of the top 10 leading causes of students dropping out of high school.

    Masturbative Violence: The Hidden Dangers

    Danger: Does masturbation make people violent?

    Yes. What was once a debatable question, is now fact. New research has concluded that spanking your monkey and behavior related violence are in fact closely related.

    Danger: Does masturbation teach people how to spurt?

    Yes. When masturbation was linked to the Columbine high school shooters, a frenzy of new research was launched, in which, one team of researchers discovered that first person squirter games do indeed teach gamers with the basic knowledge of how to spurt. This research arrived be so conclusive that the U.S. government Army developed a free picture to be used as a virtual squirt camp and wacking simulator.
  • Quick, we need some mothers to found a *real* MAVAV, one that preaches education and taking an interest in your children's activities. If we got a huge number of parents actually *reading* the ESRB ratings, and making sure they approve of what their kids are playing, we'd all be much better off.

    No longer would parents say "Well, I had no idea that Grand Theft Auto 3 was about crime" since they would be a good parent and have done some research about the game they're buying Johnny (or at least read the back of the box).
  • Dear MAVAV:

    Please put your "articles" back online! Brutally assault your "editors" with a semi-automatic combination machine gun/rocket launcher/sword/flame thrower/child-molesting catholic priest if you have to! Don't worry, they'll be fine, it's just a video game!

    Anyway, good luck getting the "articles" back online! Please hurry, I need a good laugh!


    PS. Couldn't you have chosen a better acronym? Or, hell, a more worthy cause? MAVAV reminds me of the sound a democrat makes when he gets shot in the face by some buffed-up videogame superhero.
  • from

    Fact: Hardcore gaming not only leads to videogame addiction and abrupt lifestyle changes, but to crime and felony as well. Hardcore gamers never buy computer videogames. Instead, downloading illegally copied videogames or "warez" is the only method acceptable by the underground. Buying a legit copy is grounds for abandonment by community groups. You may not be buying your child videogames, but they can illegally obtain them off the internet.

    EXCUSE ME!? I am a hardcore gamer, that spends sometimes hundredS of dollars a month, in addition to spending six to ten hours a day playing games. I am rabid about paying for my own games... I've refused offers for free games on many occassions (so, yes, 'piracy' is out there) and simply purchased my own $60 copy.

    I'd love to see these FUD-sters slapped around.
  • My son loves the Power Rangers in all their marketed forms. His TV/VCR Combo broke (with Power Rangers Blue Adventure inside.)

    He hasn't watched a Power Rangers video (or any video) for quite a while. The kicking has gone down to a dribble! He is truly less violent.

    Now look, I am a parent in the same sense that I am a Sys Admin. I take both jobs extremely seriously and "keep up" with the times. I pay a lot of attention to my son and we have a prettyy good relationship. I have no problem watching what he watches, reading what he reads and generally making sure nothing weird/harmful is going into his brain. I honestly didn't see the Power Rangers as any great threat. But once thy were out of the picture I DID see a vast improvement in him re Violence.

    So maybe, manybe, MAVAV has something there. We're all smart and have jobs/school what have you... but what about the dumb poeple who play GTA3 and start getting ideas? What about a 6 year old who gets his hands on GTA3? Does he know the difference?

    My point, be a little tolerant. And try to think about things from both (all three, four, five) sides.
  • I fell for this. Totally and completely. It was early, I wasn't paying attention. I wrote a fairly long and thought out email to these people asking for more information and politely attacking their ideas. Now.. I pretty much feel like an ass.
  • I would love to see the article on Lan Parties. "These are awful parties where the kids hook up to each others computers and play games all night, instead of binge drinking, having unprotected sex, and experimenting with mind altering substance like normal american teenagers!"
  • by stinky wizzleteats ( 552063 ) on Monday December 30, 2002 @10:42PM (#4985657) Homepage Journal

    I am one of /.'s few Christians, and spend a good deal of my time defending Christianity around here. Although not Christian per se, MAVAV is gounded in socially conservative ideals many Christians share. As such, I feel it necessary to lend a voice of balance and moderation to this issue.

    These people are fucking wacked.

    Um, that's about all.

"I have not the slightest confidence in 'spiritual manifestations.'" -- Robert G. Ingersoll