Copy Machines At Greater Risk During Holidays 177
Ant writes "CNET News.com reports that photocopier supplier Canon is warning customers to take better care of their office equipment during the Christmas period. It claims that the festive season traditionally leads to a 25 percent hike in service calls due to incidents such as the classic backside copying prank.
Such a stunt, a mainstay of the office party, often results in cracked glass on the copier, with 32 percent of Canon technicians claiming to have been called out to fix glass plates during the Christmas period after attempts to copy body parts went wrong..."
I don't believe it..... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I don't believe it..... (Score:4, Funny)
Thankfully it was just an interactive article map.
Re:I don't believe it..... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I don't believe it..... (Score:2, Informative)
Fat guy breaks copier:
http://www.break.com/articles/copybusted.html [break.com]
Hot Chick. 'nuff said.
http://www.break.com/articles/copierup.html [break.com]
Re:I don't believe it..... (Score:4, Informative)
http://www.whowantsabalti.com/video/photocopier.w
http://www.whowantsabalti.com/funpics/spicy/colou
Xeroxing you ass is nothing.. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Xeroxing you ass is nothing.. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Xeroxing you ass is nothing.. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Xeroxing you ass is nothing.. (Score:3, Funny)
Sheet feeder, ha. I'm off to swap the photocopier and shredder around.
Re:Xeroxing you ass is nothing.. (Score:1)
Re:Xeroxing you ass is nothing.. (Score:2)
http://www.frozenhippo.com/copy-machine-hickup,11
who wants a copy of some dude's hairy ass? (Score:5, Funny)
This year's Christmas party is gonna ROCK!
*Sigh* (Score:1, Troll)
Naw, those aren't breasts.
These [bearchive.com] are breasts.
</impression>
o_O (Score:1)
Simple Solution (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Simple Solution (Score:3, Funny)
Your lucky to have access to so many A1 copiers
Re:Simple Solution (Score:3, Funny)
Goatse.cx (Score:1, Funny)
We know.
Re:Simple Solution (Score:2, Funny)
Ouch! (Score:5, Funny)
I've got worse ... (Score:1)
Why geeks don't reproduce (Score:4, Funny)
The idea of having sex either doesn't come to mind, or the prospect is so daunting, geeks resort to other means to attempt reproducing.
copying body parts (Score:2)
Re:copying body parts (Score:3, Funny)
Re:copying body parts (Score:2)
What the hell does that mean?!
Re:copying body parts (Score:1, Informative)
This may be because you are in a country that uses A4, and your printer driver is still configured to use US Letter.
In most cases, you can just push the on-line button to continue.
No, don't thank me
Re:copying body parts (Score:2)
Re:copying body parts (Score:1)
Just imagine a scene from 'Theres something about mary' but instead of a zipper, you got a paper feeder :P
Screw a paper feeder. Imagine him mistaking a paper shredder for a fax machine!
Re:copying body parts (Score:2)
Yup, that'd be likely to cause the same problem as well...
Re:copying body parts (Score:2)
Anybody who even brings that repulsive piece of shit up is a moron.
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I tried it once (Score:1)
That's one big body part.... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:That's one big body part.... (Score:1)
Re:That's one big body part.... (Score:2)
Inclined copy machines (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Inclined copy machines (Score:1)
Re:Inclined copy machines (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Inclined copy machines (Score:4, Funny)
Not off the top of my head, but it should be easy to find in any decent engineer's handbook.
Re:Inclined copy machines (Score:2)
Re:Inclined copy machines (Score:2)
Not off the top of my head, but it should be easy to find in any decent engineer's handbook.
Yeah, we have to deal with this every day when designing cars, machines and refineries. The assprint vs. technological validity quick reference chart hasn't yet been developed, but you can be sure that the various ASME boards are diligently working on it.
Re:Inclined copy machines (Score:2)
I wonder what the best cleaner is to get ass grease off of copier glass... I feel like Windex might not be up to the task.
Re:Inclined copy machines (Score:2)
glass (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:glass (Score:2)
I guess I don't really see how this is in any way a 'problem' for the photocopier companies. On the one hand, they get to charge $$$ for repairs every January, and on the other hand... what is the office manager going to do, shop around for more a more ass-friendly brand of photocopier to replace the old one with? (I'd love to see that justification on the invoice submitted to accounting ;^))
Re:glass (Score:1)
ass-proof glass copiers
Re:glass (Score:2)
Re:glass (Score:1)
Re:glass (Score:1)
Re:glass (Score:2)
Liability. Unless the photocopiers have something along the lines of "Do not sit on the glass" printed prominently on them, one could imagine someone suing the manufacturer after lacerating their posterior after going through the glass.
Sad, but in an increasingly litigous world, stupid lawsuits are only going to increase in frequency.
Okay ... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Okay ... (Score:1, Funny)
All cut up? (Score:2)
So now you have a bloody gash running down your backside... seems to me that the medical bills and cleaning all the blood out of the copier would be the expensive parts of this little situation.
Re:All cut up? (Score:2)
Here's one way to destroy a pyrex casserole dish, which are more or less relatively indestructible by normal means. Heat in oven until it's heat soaked (i.e., what was being cooked is done cooking). Take out, and put on a surface that has a point metal contact
One costly rear end :D (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:One costly rear end :D (Score:2)
Fortunately with alternate technology like digital cameras, and cell cameras, office party copiers are safer than ever from unwanted bummage. But look out office printer with a Exif Print port or Compaq Flash card reader!
If that were me... (Score:2)
Gee.... (Score:3, Funny)
Canon, why don't you invent a plastic substitute for people to use during the holidays?? Of course it would have to be anti-bacterial plastic, but surely if you can make a digital camera with a zillion complicated parts you could make something simple like this??
Call it the Christmas bum-shield. Normally I would charge heavily for advice leading to this kind of business opportunity,
I wonder if (Score:2)
Re:I wonder if (Score:1)
Re:I wonder if (Score:2)
No, but the copier killed itself anyway.
A painful copier accident... (Score:5, Interesting)
I returned to a rather frantic voicemail stating that the Panasonic wasn't working correctly in accounts. What worried me was that the Post-It note on my desk stating the same thing 'Account copier broken' - had blood all over it.
I wandered over to have a look at the problem, only to be confronted by a department that seemed strangely quiet, and a perfectly working copier. However, there was a bloody mark along the floor matching the edge of the copier, but it looked like it had been moved. "Fair enough, something odd is going on, and the copier has been cleaned/moved..." I thought. The someone piped up that they couldn't print to it. On closer inspection, it transpired that this machine had no network settings and was, in fact, a totally different machine.
So I duly phoned the copier company and was informed that our contact was off sick and was extremely sorry for what had happened and in any case, he had 'paid for it' and hoped the replacement was in good working order.
On querying further, it transpired that our copier contact had been seeing one of our accounts staff, and they'd used the copier for 'support' during a 'on-site' session together. At some point the glass cracked and certain appendages got caught in the resulting mess of (heavy) woman, glass and plastics, the outcome of which was a broken penis (ouch!) and lots of blood, and I assume a lot of pain and noise. The new copier arrived during in the Christmas holidays and the door entry logs gave up the secret that the accounts clerk had come it to take delivery of it and set it up in the hope that everything would be okay... ho ho ho...
Re:A painful copier accident... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:A painful copier accident... (Score:2)
Re:A painful copier accident... (Score:2, Informative)
get out of the office! (Score:1)
Drunk people plus expensive equipment equals badness.
Much better to go with somewhere with low light, then that chick in accounts with the great body but bucktooth teeth will be ever so appealling.
Becareful with regular copiers this holiday season (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Becareful with regular copiers this holiday sea (Score:2)
/. stories (Score:1)
In other news... (Score:2)
Confusius say (Score:2, Funny)
"ommmmmmmm"
Anyone done this in real life? (Score:5, Funny)
STUCK
IN PRINTER
I loved the image so much, I put a sign that said the above on the printer in our helpdesk. Never seen so much coffee spirted out of peoples mouths in ages
Re:Anyone done this in real life? (Score:1)
A scale? (Score:1)
I wouldn't want.... (Score:2)
How would you explain the blood? What the hell would you tell the doctor?
Re:I wouldn't want.... (Score:2)
I'm serious.
Note to self (Score:2)
Pressed Ham (Score:3, Interesting)
Talking to one of our engineers this morning [Xerox], this practice is know as Pressed Ham by the guys who have to fix the copiers.
Assjet (Score:3, Funny)
Some years ago Saturday Night Live did a skit with sponsorship from Xerox of the new Assjet Copier, with a specially moulded platten deisgned to take the weight and to 'lift and seperate' for a perfect ass shot every time... We show it to new starts as a psuedo induction training video. :)
Multi-Function Printers (Score:1)
Then you could anonymously send the 'bum-scan' to a remote location, and let it languish in the pile of uncollected print jobs.
You deserve it. (Score:2)
links (Score:2)
http://www.whowantsabalti.com/video/photocopier.wm v [whowantsabalti.com]
http://www.whowantsabalti.com/video/photocopier2.w mv [whowantsabalti.com]
http://www.whowantsabalti.com/video/photocopier3.w mv [whowantsabalti.com]
and
http://www.whowantsabalti.com/funpics/spicy/colour -copier.jpg [whowantsabalti.com]
Happy Silly Season
.
True story... (Score:3, Interesting)
She was a hot one. Too bad she was a psychology major...
For the love of God, think of the children!!! (Score:5, Funny)
I work at Canon (Score:5, Informative)
What I Want To Know (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What I Want To Know (Score:2)
State the problem in words as clearly as possible
If they really wanted to solve the problem... (Score:3, Insightful)
But this can't be that much of a problem, right? I mean, this was funny for about 5 minutes back in 1972.
Several things I don't understand. (Score:2)
Which kind of companies are those that allow this kind of stuff to happen?
Secondly, only in the US and UK they find funny to show their ass. Is this an aglosaxon thing or what?
Re:Question (Score:5, Funny)
Season's greetings and shit.
What a crappy comment (Score:1)
But you know...
Re:What a crappy comment (Score:2)
Re:Question (Score:2)
Re:Question (Score:2)
Re:Question (Score:1)
As for me, being a guy who used to have to fix printers and copiers (among other random IT things), I can appreciate the story.
So go pound sand.
Re:Question (Score:2)
Re:Question (Score:1)
Re:Checklist... (Score:4, Funny)
Now maybe you'll think before sitting oon the photocopier and having to call in some poor technician who wants to enjoy Christmas with his family...
But thanks to our good friend alchohol, it'll probably go more like "I probably shouldn't... oh, fuck the technician, this is too awesome to pass up!"
Re:Checklist... (Score:2)
Re:Copying my penis (Score:2)