How Episode IV Should Have Ended 375
OverNeith writes "An excellent cartoon film showing how SW:Episode IV would have ended in a non-Lucas reality. Enjoy!" From the cartoon: "Han: Boy, you said it Chewie. I was this close to going back and helping those people."
Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:2)
Well I guess 2 out of 6 ain't bad. Oh wait... it is.
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:2)
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:2)
Leia becomes a Jedi and kills Luke, but dies in the process.
There's no one left to teach about the force, thus it is balanced. Prophecy fulfilled.
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:2)
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:3, Informative)
Didn't see Episode 3, did you?
The answer is at the end of the film where Yoda talks to Obiwan before they part ways.
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:2)
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:4, Funny)
Well, the ideal padawans are children, right?
Imagine an immaterial Jedi trying to communicate the Force to a prospective padawan. You'd end up with a bunch of kids in a psych ward...
"I see dead people."
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:2)
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:2)
Star Wars: Extended Universe (Score:5, Interesting)
That said, the recent prequels don't entirely jibe with the books. *sigh* Lucas, Lucas, Lucas...
Re:Star Wars: Extended Universe (Score:4, Informative)
Aww, hell, the prequels don't even jibe with the original trilogy.Don't even get me started...
Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . (Score:3, Funny)
You people who get real live sex shouldn't be so harsh on us Star Wars fans.
luke... (Score:3, Funny)
torrent (Score:5, Informative)
Re:torrent (Score:2)
magnet mirror (Score:2)
Re:magnet mirror (Score:2, Informative)
magnet:?xt=urn:btih:5B7JAZWZUV6O45M67UXHMXLNVOL
With the magnet URI you don't need the torrent file. Simply copy it to the clipboard and in Azureus, go to File->Open->Location (ctrl-L) and paste the magnet URI.
how do you play this (Score:5, Funny)
211893? (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:how do you play this (Score:5, Informative)
Re:how do you play this (Score:3, Informative)
Here you go, install the appropriate version for your OS.
http://www.bittorrent.com/ [bittorrent.com]
This will explain how the whole thing works
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torrent [wikipedia.org]
Re:how do you play this (Score:3, Funny)
Aww.. Ain't that cute. Somebody who has no sense of humor. Yeah, he's a newbie whose Slashdot ID is 24,894 lower than your own. Now that's funny.
Re:how do you play this (Score:5, Funny)
His slashdot UID is lower than your's.
Re:how do you play this (Score:3, Funny)
Re:how do you play this (Score:2, Informative)
http://userpages.umbc.edu/~hamilton/btclientconfig
After reading that page, which describes how bittorrent works, you might want to go to the following page, where you can download a bittorrent client and learn more about the system.
http://www.bittorrent.com/ [bittorrent.com]
Re:how do you play this (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:how do you play this (Score:5, Funny)
Jeff
Re:how do you play this (Score:5, Funny)
Re:how do you play this (Score:5, Funny)
Re:how do you play this (Score:3, Funny)
#15
Re:I bet... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:how do you play this (Score:3, Funny)
Score:-1, Sad
Bittorrent Rate (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Bittorrent Rate (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Bittorrent Rate (Score:5, Funny)
Not really my thing, but... (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Not really my thing, but... (Score:2)
Re:Not really my thing, but... (Score:2)
Re:Not really my thing, but... (Score:2)
Re:Not really my thing, but... (Score:2)
Sorry, but organic food is fine as a niche market. Hell, I buy organic milk all the time. But using pesticides and genetically engineered foods to increase the size of harvest per acre is the only way to feed an ever-increasing population.
The Matrix Revolutions and Saving Private Ryan! (Score:3, Interesting)
Does anyone non-Bittorrent anywhere since the company's firewall is blocking those BT ports.
Re:The Matrix Revolutions and Saving Private Ryan! (Score:5, Informative)
Re:The Matrix Revolutions and Saving Private Ryan! (Score:2)
I'm sorry, that wasn't even remotely funny (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:I'm sorry, that wasn't even remotely funny (Score:2)
What? (Score:2)
The art is impressive (not the animation), but overall it's completely unimaginitive and equally unfunny.
Score: -1 Unfunny.
Heres a transcript in case you can't get the movie (Score:5, Informative)
[Text on screen]
How Star Wars episode IV should have ended...
[Inside the rebel base]
Rebel Commander (briefing troops): Men normally with this information we would take time to make a more intricit plan of attack. However, rather than transmitting the technical readouts of the imperial battlestation and keeping our hidden loctaion safe...Princess Leia insisted on coming back, knowing full well that her ship was being tracked. In short, we have one chance to make this right and it's all Prince Leia's fault.
[On the death star]
Death star Piolet: Sir we have reached the planet Yavin. The rebel base is on a moon orbitting on the other side of the planet. We will be in firing range in 30 minutes.
Death star commander: I say we're in range now. Fire.
-Beeping noises-
-Animation of the death star blowing up the planet-
[Rebel base]
Rebel commander: Well so much for that idea.
[Millenium Falcon]
Chewie: Raaaar.
Han: Boy, you said it Chewie. I was this close to going back and helping those people.
[Text on screen]
The end.
[Diagobah (sp?)]
Yoda: Let him beat you you had to. What will I do now? Go crazy I will.
Obi wan (as a ghost): Oh get over yourself.
*End Transcrip*
My thoughts on the subject:
Look if you remember the first time you saw star wars...you didn't hate it. Maybe you have what it's become but what percentage of movies that were made in the 70's would even pass the giggle test if someone tried to release them today? The plot and special effects were something that had never been done before. Sure after 30 years the plot didn't turn out to be bulletproof. All a movie has to do to be a good movie is hold your attention and entertain for the duration it's on the screen. You know what? All the star wars movies (except episode 1) did that for me.
Re:Heres a transcript in case you can't get the mo (Score:2, Funny)
Minister:
Re:Heres a transcript in case you can't get the mo (Score:2)
2: Y'know, I cancelled by download 'cause of that transcript. The last thing I want is to encourage half-wits who fail to spend ten minutes thinking "why" and keep themsleves at "that's dumb."
Case in point: the plans for the death star were being transported at the start of the movie, which implies that for some odd reason, they couldn't be sent via intersteller communication. Probably because the secret rebel base doesn't have the massive communication platform necessary for such.
(And let's
Re:Heres a transcript in case you can't get the mo (Score:2)
They still could've switched ships on some other planet. Not that it bothers me much.
Re:Heres a transcript in case you can't get the mo (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Heres a transcript in case you can't get the mo (Score:2, Funny)
I figure they didn't transmit the plans because it would've pinpointed how they were planning the rebel attack.
And then the empire could've just put some chickenwire over the exhaust port.
Then they would've failed and died. Which wouldn't have made Lucas nearly as much money.
N.
PRINCE?! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Heres a transcript in case you can't get the mo (Score:2)
Re:Heres a transcript in case you can't get the mo (Score:2)
Re:Heres a transcript in case you can't get the mo (Score:3, Insightful)
Stress Test (Score:4, Funny)
If this doesn't serve as a stress test of BitTorrent's scalability, nothing will.
geez (Score:3, Funny)
Will Smith: (pushes button on remote) Hop in.
A car pulls up, driven by a man in a suit. Suddenly the driver deflates and is sucked into the steering wheel.
Tommy Lee Jones: Does that come standard?
Will Smith: Actually it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.
Just thought I'd return the favor. You know, in case you ever see Men in Black II. Or something.
Looks like the Matrix one's more popular (Score:2)
Thanks for giving away the punchline, jackass (Score:4, Insightful)
Here's the let-it-go sequence (Score:3, Funny)
Nap
Taco Pizza
2nd Nap
beginning of the Matrix DVD
Shower
10 minutes of the audio commentary on Two Towers
Begining of XMen 1
Spiderman 1 - all
Kevin Smith forum on Superman
Post hate to AICN
Slashdot xbox articles
eat the Taco Pizza crusts
go to Bed
Minor Problem... (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Minor Problem... (Score:2)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gas_giant [wikipedia.org]
Besides, think about the huge amount of superheated hydrogen that would get flung towards Yavin. As soon as it hit the atmosphere, it would explode, consuming lots and lots of oxygen.
If the heat didn't incinerate the rebels, they might asphyxiate fr
Re:Minor Problem... (Score:2)
How Episode IV should have ended? (Score:3, Funny)
Episode I, needs a scene of JarJar being horribly killed.
Episode II, needs a scene of JarJar being horribly killed.
Episode III, that JarJar cameo? That should have been a scene of him being horribly killed.
Episode IV refresh, they could have added a nice shot of a suspiciously Jar-Jar-like silhouette catching a blaster bolt.
Then we need a shot of George Lucas being killed horribly for turning the Jedi into a bunch of stupid steroid^Wmidiclorian-pumped jocks and light-saber ricers.
Re:Torrent, good thinking! (Score:2)
Wow, a true test of Bittorent, 1.4% done and I'm uploading 5x as fast as I download. 1 hour estimated download :-)
Re:Torrent, good thinking! (Score:2)
But is it secret? Is it safe? (Score:5, Insightful)
Everything was proceeding nicely when, suddenly, my firewall started going nuts with dozens of incoming probes to ports commonly used by sql server, oracle, various license managers, and so on.
Is it just me, or are hackers are using the ip addresses distributed by the trackers to find currently connected computers to attack?
Re:But is it secret? Is it safe? (Score:3, Funny)
Oh yeah? (Score:5, Funny)
Your firewall is very boring.
Re:But is it secret? Is it safe? (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Torrent, good thinking! (Score:4, Interesting)
Came in at 32KB/s at first (I'm on a 300kbps line). Averaged at 11.8 KB/s according to the transfer window. Not bad considering the circumstances.
Opera doesn't seem to be listening on port 6881, and I have a firewall in the way. Even so i've been uploading. Which is also very impressive.
Go Opera!
Re:WARNING!! (Score:4, Informative)
I believe it will play WMVs on all systems it supports.
Re:WARNING!! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:WARNING!! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:WARNING!! (Score:2)
**Hunt down the Win32 Codec pack and you're good to go
Re:WARNING!! (Score:5, Informative)
If you are running the latest Debian Stable version, Sarge, you can add the line
ftp://ftp.nerim.net/debian-marillat/ stable main
to your
Re:WARNING!! (Score:2)
Re:WARNING!! (Score:3, Informative)
Re:WARNING!! (Score:2)
Re:WARNING!! (Score:2)
Xine plays 'em as well as MPlayer... (Score:2)
You'll need to also grab the extra codecs off the MPlayer site, check the Xine FAQ for the one about playing WMVs.
Jeff
Re:WARNING!! (Score:2, Interesting)
Warning? What, are we supposed to wave our pitchforks because they chose a format that most people have a player for?
A better warning (Score:2)
The WMV file contains widescreen video, with the black bars encoded into it, making it 4:3. Great fun when you're using a 16:9 screen
Re:WARNING!! (Score:2)
But since others in the world can play it, all must be right with the world...
Re:WARNING!! (Score:2)
Re:WARNING!! (Score:2)
Re:I've had this exact same discussion! (Score:5, Insightful)
Lets count the ways:
1. Flying through space would involve a crew, safety checks, and published flight plans in an advances society. So no two man smuggling teams.
2. Effeminate robots and a beeping speech system would never have made it past the "stupidity test" thus no R2 and 3P0. Instead you'd have two very predictable and obedient automatons.
3. No faster than light travel. So long galactic civilization.
4. No sounds in space.
5. Stormtroopers being professional soldiers would take careful aim, set up snipers, etc thus all gun fights end with the good guys dying and quickly.
6. No force, no prophesies, etc. No such thing.
7. No one acting out of stupid impulse or emotion, thus Luke never leaves tatooine.
etc.
Err, I'd rather not watch the Vulcan version of Star Wars. The silliness is part of its charm. Storytelling is much more an unpredictable art than a science.
Re:I've had this exact same discussion! (Score:2)
2. Agreed. I mean, how hard would it be to give R2 a speech synth? Of course, you could have a society with issues a
Re:I've had this exact same discussion! (Score:4, Funny)
Not to be too straight-laced, but they could have had the storm troopers do things like that, get set up properly, make advancements, etc, and still have the main characters escape by the skin of their teeth. It would have built up excitement in a way that watching storm trooper after incompetent storm trooper being gunned down just doesn't. At least some percentage of the movie should have been devoted to the storm troopers winning, to build up tension.
A New Hope:
Storm troopers rule:
killed jawas (off camera)
Storm troopers suck:
Took equal losses with the defences of a councelor's ship on a peaceful mission.
Can't stop a group of rogues from escaping while they're already in prison.
They're scared of Han.
Empire Strikes Back:
Storm troopers rule:
Took over cloud city (off camera)
Storm troopers suck:
Giant battletanks full of the empires strongest weaponry taken down by string.
Still can't stop a group of rogues from escaping while they're already in prison.
Got shown up by a dwarf with a pot on his head.
Return of the Jedi
Storm Troopers Rule:
Actually stopped a group of rogues from doing something, and on camera no less!
Storm Troopers Suck:
Death of everything they represent.
Lost to a bunch of muppets.
Re:I've had this exact same discussion! (Score:3, Funny)
> 1. Flying through space would involve a crew, safety checks, and published flight plans in an advances society. So no two man smuggling teams.
Sailing the oceans of the world needed navigatory tools, navigators, doctors and other skilled workers, along with supplies (did you forget your vitamin C?), maps, plans, etc. But you still had small groups of people, either sailing areas which (I think) would be easier to navigate (e.g. the Carribean, British channel, etc.). I think you can extend th
Re:I've had this exact same discussion! (Score:2)
It's enough of a vacuum that "explosion sounds", i.e., the shock wave transmitted by vibrating molecules, can't occur in space.
It'd be quite possible for sound to be transmitted in the detritus from, say, an explosion.
Those would be the sounds of the detritus smashing into the hull of your ship.
Re:I've had this exact same discussion! (Score:5, Interesting)
In deep space, you have to aim the parabolic antennae at the destination. Presumably, "subspace" transmissions would behave the same way.
Thus, all the Star Destroyer (or whatever) has to do is notice which direction the antennae was aimed, and go That Way.
How do you miss an enormous plot hole like that?
It's called a plot device. It's also why laser cannons aren't radar controlled, like the CIWS [fas.org] in service since 1979, the AMRAAM [fas.org], in service since 1991, and the AGM-84 Harpoon [fas.org], around since 1977.
Oh, and don't forget heat seekers like the AIM-9 Sidewinder [fas.org] and IR targeters like the M1 [fas.org]. Abrams, since 1980.
There are more, and I've not even mentioned non-US systems, but you get the picture.
And how can we forget Noise In Space? Just tonight on SG:Atlantis, when a ship blew up, you could hear the explosion on other ships.
What ever happened to, "In space, no one can hear you scream."?
Re:StarWars fans on LSD (Score:2)
Re:WHINE WHINE WHINE! (Score:2)
Re:WHINE WHINE WHINE! (Score:2)
"Gone with the Wind" was the original blockbuster.