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Joke-e-oke Makes You a Comedian 279

Uber-Review writes "If you ever aspired to be the next Jerry Seinfeld instead of the next American Idol. Maybe the product featured by Wired is just right for you. Joke-e-oke, basically a karaoke with stand-up comedy material. Joke-e-oke is a laptop rigged to a video projector allows you to choose from a list of stand-up comedy icons to perform. A built in laugh track is added, timed perfectly to accent punch lines. Obstacles are programmed in so participants onstage get a taste of what real comedians go through by firing off heckle lines for the bar crowd to yell in unison at the Joke-e-oke participant."
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Joke-e-oke Makes You a Comedian

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  • by ackthpt ( 218170 ) * on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:23PM (#12039554) Homepage Journal
    In the prison cafeteria, a new inmate's first lunch is interrupted by someone behind him shouting out, "431!" There's a chorus of laughter before another voice a way off shouts, "218" Again, much laughter. The new guy asks an old con sitting beside him what's with the numbers and laughter. The old guy replies, "Most of the guys have been in here so long that they know all the jokes by number. Go ahead, try one." The new guy says, "But I don't know what jokes go with what numbers!" The old con replies, "doesn't matter, just toss any number out." So the new guy shouts, "687!" Silence. The old guy says, "try a different one", so the new guy shouts "439!" Again, silence. The new guy shouts out a third number, "714!" Which is again met by silence. The old guy says, "eh, I guess some guys just can't tell a joke."

    BTW, Karoke still draws a lot of drunk or soon to be at a local pub.

  • by 0xdeaddead ( 797696 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:24PM (#12039562) Homepage Journal
    Although this reminds of STTNG where Data tries to be a comedian.. it was ... different.
  • by Propagandhi ( 570791 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:24PM (#12039569) Journal
    Joke-e-oke makes me a comedian like karaoke me a pop star. Suggesting that either of those statements are true can lead to some mind numbingly bad (but surprisingly confident) performances... especially when combined with alcohol.
    • especially when combined with alcohol.

      That's because alcohol messes with your ability to make judgements.
      REminds me of this time that this girl was totally wasted and tried to tell this "would eye" joke. It lasted like 15 min., and needless to say, didn't work as planned. But it was way funnier.
    • We have a keno here that runs every five minutes. Their recent advertising runs along the idea "Five minutes isn't perfect for everything, but it's perfect for keno."

      One of the commercials has someone belting out karaoke in a horrible off tune voice, mumbling the wrong words and everything.

    • >can lead to some mind numbingly bad (but surprisingly confident) performances

      OK, we;ll bite

      [*all together*]

      No, how bad are you?

      hawk, too late for vaudefille
    • Try this while drinking heavily:

      Please select joke subject.

      You have selected 'Adult'.

      Please select joke difficulty on a scale of one to ten.

      You have selected 'Ten'.

      Your randomly chosen joke is George Carlin's 'Seven Dirty Words' bit.

      Might be quite interesting to watch, actually. :)
    • Who needs Joke-e-oke anyway? Get a bunch of blokes pissed and we all turn into a horrible conglomeration of Homer Simpson, Eddie Murphy, Dennis Leary and Dave Chappell already. Who needs a machine to remind you of the correct way to say it?

      "Hey, I'm Mr T I'll rip your cock off with my ass"

      "And then he said: 'gooni-goo-goo'"

      Yeah that's some very funny shit.
  • by grub ( 11606 ) <slashdot@grub.net> on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:24PM (#12039571) Homepage Journal

    "We live in a reality-television age where normal people see themselves as the star. Joke-e-oke shows that everyone can be a star,"

    Sure, for 5 minutes. Then the reality of empty, meaningless lives hits the people when they remember they aren't famous or "stars". Aspire to be yourself, not a TV character. (see the related JE I wrote on March 15 linked in my sig)
    • You know, there's a wide middle ground of emotion between being an actual star and the utter depression you describe.
    • That's a bit extreme. I think for most people this helps as a social icebreaker to get them to do something that they haven't done before, sort of like a trainer to help you tell jokes (as opposed to being funny*).

      It's a way to kill some time or be entertained. I don't think most people will derive meaning and self-worth from being able to recycle some old Billy Crystal routine.

      * Anyone who is regularly funny, for the most part, will not need a machine to want to do a joke in front of a small crowd. I lik
      • Maybe I don't get it but I don't need to learn how to "tell jokes" to my friends. It comes naturally during an intelligent conversation. If you need some kind of social icebreaker to learn jokes, you must be an otaku on hikikomori stuck in your bedroom.
        • >It comes naturally during an intelligent conversation.

          Not for everyone. One of the best pieces of advice I've seen for beginning instructors is that humor is wonderful in the classroom--but that if you don't have a sense of humor, don't try to fake it.

          And society *does* need folks without a sense of humor--where would the IRS be without them?

          hawk
      • I don't think most people will derive meaning and self-worth from being able to recycle some old Billy Crystal routine.

        You're SO telling the wrong crowd. Old people in Korea might agree with you, but unless you're covered in hot grits and running BSD (dead) on a beowulf cluster of tinfoil hats, no one will listen to you. Evar.
        Profit! from my advice.
    • by sczimme ( 603413 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:41PM (#12039801)

      Then the reality of empty, meaningless lives hits the people when they remember they aren't famous or "stars". Aspire to be yourself, not a TV character.

      Well put. *goes off to RTFJE* Also well put.

      The root cause of all this me-me-me silliness seems to be a blistering lack of self-confidence in the general populace, creating a need to conform. One might think that the extraordinary (and IMO ridiculous) efforts society puts into ensuring no one's widdle feewings are hurt might help people believe they are in fact worthwhile humans (however misguided that viewpoint might be in some cases). I guess we have inadvertently created a nation of shallow, vapid, me-mongers who need to be reassured every second that they really are unique and beautiful snowflakes. Oopsie.

      My apologies - I must be wearing the cynical hat today...
      • The root cause of all this me-me-me silliness seems to be a blistering lack of self-confidence in the general populace, creating a need to conform.

        And of course, you are Better(tm) and Different(tm).

        One might think that the extraordinary (and IMO ridiculous) efforts society puts into ensuring no one's widdle feewings are hurt

        Drunkfux attempts at performing someone else's comedy routines are a sure bet for people's feelings to get hurt. I am all for people making fools of themselves for entertainment.
      • The root cause of all this me-me-me silliness seems to be a blistering lack of self-confidence in the general populace, creating a need to conform.

        And the real irony is, the "everyone else is a sheep, but I know better, I'm a unique individual who blazes his own path" meme is itself yet another form of social-control group-think. Of course you want to be unique and different from the crowd... advertisers have spent millions making sure you (and everyone else) knows just how important such individuality

      • Have you ever DONE karaoke? I have, once, and I wouldn't say it's for those with "a blistering lack of self-confidence". Rant all you want, but in this case I'd mod you "off-topic" rather than "insightful".
    • Says he with a Fan list the size of Big Ben...

      Got any fashion tips for me grub?
    • Sure, for 5 minutes. Then the reality of empty, meaningless lives hits the people when they remember they aren't famous or "stars".
      . . .
      (see the related JE I wrote on March 15 linked in my sig)

      I suppose I'm the only one who sees any irony here.


  • We aren't allowed to use scripted teleprompters in my line of work... so I secretly arranged to have an earpiece and a wireless audio receiver hidden in my jacket.

    I sure fooled everyone in the audience... heehee!

    ~GWB

    • I sure fooled everyone in the audience... heehee!

      There's a saying in Tennessee - have it in Texas, probably Tennesee, too ... fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... uh ... can't get fooled again!
  • Joke-e-oke (Score:5, Funny)

    by Neil Blender ( 555885 ) <neilblender@gmail.com> on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:28PM (#12039631)
    "Where the joke's on you."
  • by CmdrObvious ( 680619 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:28PM (#12039633)
    as any comedian will tell you, it is all in the delivery. the material is important, but delivery is MUCH more important...

    the automated heckling sounds fun, kinda like if every 20 posts on /., there was one that said "in soviet russia...." oh wait, nevermind.
    • as any comedian will tell you, it is all in the delivery. the material is important, but delivery is MUCH more important...

      I've been listening to a lot of old radio comedy shows, Jack Benny, Phil Harris, Bob Hope, Fred Allen, etc. and these were all done before a live audience, while broadcast live over radio.

      They bomb, they screw up, it still leaves the audiences howling with laughter. There's something about building up to a joke or expectation on the part of the audience. These people even laughed

      • I remember the old Carol Burnett Show, where Tim Conway seemed to dedicate that entire portion of his life to making the rest of the cast, and Harvey Corman in particular, bust up with laughter. I think that's probably still my favorite comedy show. There was spontaneity and such comedic talent that even collosal screw ups were funny. When I watch the crapola that SNL and MadTV try to pass off as humor, it's just kinda sad. Maybe SNL's writers can use this machine. It couldn't make their jokes any wors
  • by new death barbie ( 240326 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:28PM (#12039635)
    ... is if you screw up, at least nobody laughs at you

    thank you, thank you, I'm here all week...
  • WTF (Score:5, Funny)

    by Timesprout ( 579035 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:29PM (#12039645)
    Great so now entertainment consists of a 'performer' being told what to say by a machine and that same machine telling the audience how to respond.
    • Re:WTF (Score:3, Interesting)

      by merlin_jim ( 302773 )
      Great so now entertainment consists of a 'performer' being told what to say by a machine and that same machine telling the audience how to respond.

      Have you watched MTV lately?

      I spoke with Vanilla Ice last year about what's different about his career post prison. Basically he said that the changes were minor, he just writes and performs his own material now that he got rid of his MTV-tied-in Agent...

      I've heard that most big artists have a similar career; their job is to hold the mic and look pretty. Si
      • by Otter ( 3800 )
        1) Vanilla Ice has a career?

        2) Vanilla Ice was in prison?

        3) Vanilla Ice has been on MTV in the last decade?

        4) Writing and performing your own material is a "minor change"?

        Meanwhile, now I have "Ice Ice Baby" stuck in my head, you bastard. To the extreme, I rock a mic like a vandal, light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle!
        • 1) Vanilla Ice has a career?

          2) Vanilla Ice was in prison?

          3) Vanilla Ice has been on MTV in the last decade?

          4) Writing and performing your own material is a "minor change"?

          1) Yes, he's doing a mix of hard rock / rap these days. His new album is pretty good. And he's a juggalo (re: Insane Clown Posse) which is a guaranteed million or so fans. Most juggalos (and I am one) know of him and like his new stuff. It didn't hurt that he was on surreal life sporting juggalo gear every week.

          2) Yeah, I think t
          • I dunno. The guy made his name with a butchered version of an awesome Queen-David Bowie collaboration. He couldn't dance. He couldn't sing. He couldn't write. He managed to piss off the real rappers.
    • Great so now entertainment consists of a 'performer' being told what to say by a machine and that same machine telling the audience how to respond.

      It would be so much better, if the machines would be different atleast...
  • by red_dragon ( 1761 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:31PM (#12039663) Homepage

    You know the machine has been tampered with when the poor sod on the stage whips out 31 different versions of "Why did the chicken cross the road?" and the laugh track has been replaced with Nelson Muntz's "Ha ha!".

  • by Bazman ( 4849 )
    I thought that headline said 'Canadian'.

  • The Free version (Score:4, Insightful)

    by DanThe1Man ( 46872 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:31PM (#12039670)
    From the article:
    he beta test version simply involved taping episodes of Comedy Central stand-up specials with the closed-captioning titles on. The sound would be turned down, the TV screen turned away from the audience and toward the Joke-e-oke participant, who would read the closed-captioned titles into a microphone.

    So, just do that instead of wasteing your money on this stupid software. You are doing the same thing.
  • So... (Score:5, Funny)

    by omahajim ( 723760 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:31PM (#12039671)
    Joke-e-oke no more makes me a comedian, than having an MCSE will make me a system admin.
  • "If you ever aspired to be the next Jerry Seinfeld instead of the next American Idol. Maybe the product featured by Wired is just right for you."
    I youve ever aspired to be either , then i can sugest a few other things you may enjoy *click click boom* seriously though

    Its nice to see something to help people build the comedy stylings up ,
    you could ask it if it runs linux and see if you get a laugh , or perhaps would a beowulf cluster of these substitute a studio audiance .

    *cough* well everyone says my jokes
  • by TheLetterPsy ( 792255 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:36PM (#12039737)
    The grammar in that summary is a Joke-e-oke.

  • It's been done (Score:4, Informative)

    by Jeremy Erwin ( 2054 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:37PM (#12039762) Journal
    Listen to the second segment from this This American Life [thislife.org] show for a good illustration of what can go wrong.
  • by Phat_Tony ( 661117 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:44PM (#12039845)
    The more monotonous and boring the delivery is, the funnier the material seems.
  • I head a piece on NPR's (This American Life, I think), about karaoke bars who have comedy routines in addition to the regular songs. The comedy routines were never very popular, since 1) the materal was usually crapppy and 2) It's very difficult to read a joke for the first time without knowing the punchline and time it in such a way that is comes out funny... J
  • by JojoLinkyBob ( 110971 ) <joeycato@NOsPaM.gmail.com> on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:45PM (#12039858) Homepage
    Buddy Hacket, to Johnny Carson: "Ask me what the secret to comedy is."
    Johnny Carson: "What's the..."
    Buddy Hacket (screams): "TIMING!!"
  • by standsolid ( 619377 ) <.moc.dilosdnats. .ta. .ynnek.> on Thursday March 24, 2005 @04:45PM (#12039862) Homepage
    Who will be the first to write a regexp magic script to scrape all of the +5 funny comments on slashdot and feed them into this program.

    It'll go over big at your next D&D gathering. But everyone would have already read/heard the jokes.
  • an episode of MST3K where in one of the side-show scenes, Dr. Forsberg's assistant built a virtual comedian device. He did fairly well, while wearing Dr. Forsberg-like glasses and hair. That is, until Dr. Forsberg came back from vacation, and exacted his revenge by "Inserting a couple of drunken hecklers", and watched the man cry.

    Damn, I need to get a life....
  • by Gudlyf ( 544445 ) <gudlyf&realistek,com> on Thursday March 24, 2005 @05:07PM (#12040121) Homepage Journal
    "So the parrot says to the barkeep a fatal exception 0E has occurred..."
  • by Evil W1zard ( 832703 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @05:08PM (#12040125) Journal
    Where you can re-enact scenes from a list of famous movie and real life stranglers. A built in choke/gurgle track is added, timed perfectly to accent your strangling experience...
  • Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
  • by Heem ( 448667 ) on Thursday March 24, 2005 @05:27PM (#12040331) Homepage Journal
    should have been KARA-JOK-EY
  • ... I thought, "What the hell's so hard about becoming a Canadian?" And then I thought, "What the hell's so funny about making someone a Canadian?" And then I re-read the headline and my fun was over...
  • I could recite Denis Leary's No Cure For Cancer verbatim from beginning to end?

    Disclaimer: That was nearly a decade ago, I may or may not have a life now

  • in the episode where George stopped having sex and became really smart. He then decided to help Jerry with his assembly of one hour in front of the junior high. In the end George had sex and became dumb again so Jerry had to start it off and he goes

    Jerry: Hey kids, what's the deal with homework. You're not working on your home!
    Audience: boooooooooooouuuuu!
  • Mr. Incredible: "You mean you killed off real comedians so that you could pretend to be one?"

    Syndrome: "Oh, I'm real all right. Real enough to make you laugh! And I did it without your precious writers. Your oh-so-special timing. I'll give them jokes. I'll give them the most spectacular jokes the world has ever heard! And when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my inventions so that everyone can be funny. Everyone can be a comedian! And when everyone's a comedian... no one will be."
  • Do people still know who he is?

    I hope I'm funnier that that...

    (... After reviewing previous postings...)

    Well, er, apparently not...
  • If you ever aspired to be the next Jerry Seinfeld instead of the next American Idol. Maybe the product featured by Wired is just right for you.

    Alternatively, you might like to try the latest member of our "Punctuation" line: the all-new, best-selling Comma (TM).
  • It does Bill Hicks, and includes a cue when to swear at your audience, I'm not interested.
  • And ELIZA makes me a psychiatric case...

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