DARPA Funds Remote Control Sharks 137
An anonymous reader writes "From Undersea Spies: Turning Sharks into Robotic Sentries
"It seems like science fiction, but the U.S. military would like to use sharks as underwater spies. The folks at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), who dream up the future of weapons and military systems, envision squads of sharks prowling the oceans with sensors that could transmit evidence of explosives or other threats.""
Now all that's missing (Score:5, Funny)
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Got you half covered. You'll have to provide the head mount.
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Yeah, but the naval commanders could never pull off the pinkie-lip snear as well as they did in the movies. Plus, having a bunch of bald or balding military commanders making such comments would really freak people out. :D
Didn't they used to do the same thing with dolphins back in the 1960's-70's? IIRC animal rights activists objected to the bottlenose being trained to carry bombs.
Yikes! The US military was training sea life to be suicide terrorist bombers! :eek:
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And the paradox is, they'd all be lining up to jump themselves.
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Theres optimism if ever I saw it!
I will *not* be remote controlled! (Score:1)
Then again, this could be a good thing... Might put some political pressure into protecting sharks. They are in serious overfishing trouble nowadays. If one is going to use sharks as spies, might as well make sure there are plenty of sharks everywhere.
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This is one of the most hideous, ghastly things I have read. Not only should any "scientist" who engages in such ghastly experiments lose all his credentials, he and everyone in the chain above him should be criminally prosecuted.
Such a horrific, sickening abuse of life is appalling.
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I take it you've never been to Taco Bell?
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Elaborate please...
Sure I'll elaborate: think of all the experimentation it took to figure this out. How many times did the sickos cut open the skulls of sentient beings and mess around with their brains to get the results they wanted? How many failed experiments were there? How many grotesque atrocities were perpetrated in the operating room? Its not too hard to visualize the animal laying there on an operating table with its skull cut open and blood and brains everywhere while these "researchers" slopped about. Its
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Considering that these are scientists and not high school biology students gone wild, I tend to believe that they would be working in a more orderly and methodical manner.
You should read about the experiments done to develop genetically modified crops. Sure, we all hear about the wonderful successes of the technology, such as Roundup Ready soy or cotton which are supposed to save the world, but we never hear about the dozens of horrific failures it took to get the results they wanted. Cotton whose heads would just turn brown and fall off for no reason, or plants with grotesque malformations or other characteristics. If people knew about these grotesque monstrosities t
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Of course, you'll probably excuse the shark's behaviour because it's "just an animal" and it's "doing what its instincts tell it to" in order to survive. Well, humans are animals too, and we do what we think will benefit us. You think the shark would hesitate to experiment on
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What we really need is a battery good enough to power the laser without sinking the shark or disrupting the shark's swim. The battery ideally would be IN the shark to preserve it's hydrodynamic coefficient. And I guess that's where robot sharks comes in.
Animals make a fine robotics platforms (Score:2)
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First five posts - all about lasers (Score:4, Funny)
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I promise, no lasers... (Score:2)
Who is it?
Candygram.
Not a laser beam joke (Score:1)
Does that mean (Score:3, Funny)
Friggin' lasers (Score:1, Redundant)
Please update me (Score:1)
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Re:Please update me (Score:4, Informative)
Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Number Two: Sea Bass.
Dr. Evil: [pause] Right.
Number Two: They're mutated sea bass.
Dr. Evil: Are they ill tempered?
Number Two: Absolutely.
Dr. Evil: Oh well, that's a start.
Not another laser joke (Score:4, Funny)
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it used to be dolphins (Score:3, Funny)
Re:it used to be dolphins (Score:5, Interesting)
They're not training them, they're remote controlling them
http://www.bu.edu/alumni/buforward/archives/Dec_2
So the simplicity of the shark's brain is actually an advantage. From the shark's point of view, it's chasing the smell, presumably, of prey.
Interestingly, something like this happens naturally. Parasitic wasps perform brain surgery to zombify roaches.
http://www.boingboing.net/2006/02/03/wasp_perform
Makes you wonder if you could do it with higher animals actually. Even though we seem to have aa certain amount of free will about how we achieve our objectives of eating and reproducing and avoiding pain, there's probably low level hardware in our the oldest parts of our brains which enforces those objectives by sending reward/punishment signals 'up' to the high level, conscious bits of our brains. I can imagine that if you attached electrodes in the right places, you could run mammals and even humans in remote controlled zombie mode too. It would be a hellish experience though, since you'd know your free will had been strongly curtailed.
Still, look on the bright side, most
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Then there's the Gordian Worm [wikipedia.org] seen forcing a cricket to drown itself here [google.com]. Apparently it g
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http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?ne wsid=44092 [medicalnewstoday.com]
It knows how to regulate the human immune system for it's own purposes. It actually seems quite close to being a symbiote, since it can treat Crohn's disease. Reminds me a bit of Goa'uld in SG-1 actually.
But I guess Rabies [wikipedia.org] manages to change host behaviour in a way that encourages transmission.
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By using electricity to manipulate the nerves in the inner ear in the same way that the scientists are manipulating the nerves in the nose, scientists were able to make a person feel like they had to go a certain direction in order to keep their balance.
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For a second there I thought I was back in the Vista thread...
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Oh, I dunno -
http://www.e-sheep.com/spiders/3.5/01_hospital.htm l [e-sheep.com]
Can't see the lawyers allowing it, but feminizing most of those hostile Islamic societies would be a vast improvement, both for us and for the peopl
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I didn't know... (Score:4, Funny)
if you read the article.... (Score:1)
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Means of what ?
I don't keep up with the news like I used to, but last I checked, sharks didn't have opposable thumbs or an easy way to attach robotic arms.
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<tinfoil racism> One wonders if the Japanese will call a sudden end to whaling... at about the same time schools of sharks start chasing whales toward the Japanese coastline where they beach themselves. </tinfoil racism>
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How do you send electrical signals to its brain without harming the shark? My guess is they drilled electrodes into the sharks' brains.
DARPA or DHARMA? (Score:5, Funny)
Bruce
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NEW and IMPROVED! (Score:2)
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Humans be warned (Score:1)
Once the smart sharks are born .. (Score:1)
Dumb idea (Score:1, Funny)
The Only Thing Worse (Score:3, Funny)
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So far just BS comments (Score:1)
Anyway all I wanted was some serious post to attach my opinion to but since there are none a new post will have to do. And what I wanted to say is that I think this is both wrong and cruel against the animals, they aren't supposed to be drones for humans. Get real robots or put humans into it, but not animals, or even better yet just stop dumping oil, start wars or whatever.
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What does this have to do with the story? (-1, Hippie)
Sea bass (Score:2)
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Some idiot moderated me -1 aswell, sure the begining was filled with useless crap but I didn't liked the fact that ALL the comments I read had those retarded laser jokes in them and nothing was on topic.
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You must be new here.
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Overlords (Score:3, Funny)
Navy sharks (Score:1, Funny)
Isn't it obvious ? (Score:1)
The Military plans to recoup their lost funding by excluding the part of the protocol that would make the sharks stop when they got to the explosives, then selling the Hi-Def video captured as the Digitally Remastered, Cut Scenes from the Jaws movies.
Sounds great at first.... (Score:2)
OTOH, we might have a new way of tracking enemy submarines - look for the trail of dead fish floating on the surface...
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But we have already started on this path with all of the experiments with dolphins detecting divers and the like.
Actually, why are they using sharks at all? Besides having sharp, pointing teeth, I wouldn't imagine that they would be any easier to train than dolphins.
I love it. (Score:2)
Shark fin soup (Score:2)
Updated (Score:1)
Correct link (Score:2)
just the title sounds ... (Score:2)
I can read articles that are like this!
oh noes! sharks!!! (Score:1)
sharks with frickin' laser beams .. (Score:2, Redundant)
Sounds similar to Fabien Cousteau's device (Score:2)
Countermeasures (Score:3, Funny)
Hello extinction, hello dupe (Score:3, Informative)
Besides, this story is a dupe: http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/03/
Sealab 2021? (Score:1)
Tracking Tags (Score:2)
I was thinking about how we'll tag whales and dolphins with low power radio collars. It tracks time and depth and maybe a few other parameters. When the animal surfaces to breathe, the tag squirts off its collected data.
Why not tag animals with something that measures, say, salinity and temperature and then gives this data to our submarines? Or that detects the presence of explosives trace? Radiation? Large sound transients... like a mobile living hydrophone network.
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oh good (Score:1)
here's an idea (Score:1)
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Shark Controller (moving 2 levers constantly): MMMMM yummy surfer!!! DIEEEEE HAHAHAHAHA!!!
obligatory mashup joke (Score:2)
And... (Score:2)
Didn't the Russians already claim... (Score:1)
Remote control shark (Score:1)
Re:Attatch laser beams, and we have another sequel (Score:2, Funny)
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not only that but I posted it at the same time as the first post but still got modded redundant
I guess the slashdot editors had a sweep on how many "fricking lasers" posts they would get in the first five minutes. We really are a sad and predictable bunch.
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