Help for an MMORPG Addict? 559
A worried comrade asks: "A friend of mine has had what many of us (his peers) are starting to consider a serious problem that we are becoming very worried about. He is addicted to World of Warcraft, and not in the same way the rest of us are. While most of us are able to disconnect from the game to take care of our own affairs, he plays to the exclusion of his friends, his job (he calls in sick a lot, it is starting to get noticed) and his life. How do you help someone who is actively throwing their whole life away to play a game?"
I've been there (Score:5, Informative)
Think traditional addiction programs - interventions, counseling. Contact a drug addiction counselor or psychologist who specializes in addiction in your area; many of the techniques involved in breaking addiction are universal. Avoid AA-type pseudoreligious programs. They have been proven not to work (no flames, please, go google the study yourself).
Keep in mind that this is not an easy process. It took me two solid years to bring my social life back to where it once was; now, another four years later, I'm "addicted" to wow in that playfully, not clinically, addicted way. But stand by your friend. Understand that your friendship means less to him than the game does. Addiction is powerful, and ugly, and hard to understand and overcome. But he's got guys (girls maybe?) like you to help him. He's better off than many.
Good luck.
Re:I've been there (Score:2)
Couldn't say better. That, or you can wait for the addiction to wear off (that's what happened to me with Everquest), but it's much riskier as it may not wear off for a long time, may not wear off at all, and may fuck up his whole life.
Re:I've been there (Score:2, Insightful)
I really have a lot to say to Southpaw018 above. I totally call bullshit. Any "traditional addiction program" will include attendance of a 12-step fellowship as part of their program, so I believe he's never actually experienced a "traditional addiction program". Or perhaps the clinicians at the pro
Re:I've been there (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:I've been there (Score:5, Funny)
2. Drink
3. Get another beer
4. Drink
5. Drink a few more beers
6. Try playing Everquest drunk
7. Piss your guildmates off until you have no friends left in the game
8. Accidentally trade your entire high-level gear for two healing items
9. Get angry at computer and break it
10. File class action lawsuit against Sony Online Entertainment to get your items and computer replaced
11. ???
12. Profit
Friends don't let friends game drunk (Score:3, Funny)
-Eric
Re:I've been there (Score:2)
Can you give me the terms to search for? I searched under "aa study" and got no such study [google.com].
Re:I've been there (Score:5, Interesting)
From the wiki:
"Specific criticisms sometimes put forth by AA's critics (some of whom go so far as to call AA a cult) include:
* There have been at least three randomized clinical trials that studied the effectiveness of AA. Specifically: Ditman et al. 1967; Brandsma et al. 1980; Walsh et al. 1991.
o Dr. Ditman found that participation in A.A. increased the alcoholics' rate of rearrest for public drunkenness.[1]
o Dr. Brandsma found that A.A. increased the rate of binge drinking. After several months of indoctrination with A.A. 12-Step dogma, the alcoholics in A.A. were doing five times as much binge drinking as a control group that got no treatment at all, and nine times as much binge drinking as another group that got Rational Behavior Therapy. Brandsma alleges that teaching people that they are alcoholics who are powerless over alcohol yields very bad results and that it becomes a self-fulfilling prediction -- they relapse and binge drink as if they really were powerless over alcohol.[2]
o And Dr. Walsh found that the so-called "free" A.A. program was actually very expensive -- it messed up patients so that they required longer periods of costly hospitalization later on.[3]"
Re:I've been there (Score:2)
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol; that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
The problem is that they're still copping out. Yes, they lost control. Y
Re:I've been there (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:I've been there (Score:5, Interesting)
Which would also make them non-religious.
Re:I've been there (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:I've been there (Score:5, Insightful)
I was half-way sold to even cancelling the credit card my account used to be on. I had to make it as difficult as reasonably possible to become recidivist.
As cheesy as it sounds, the "death ritual" described above was cathartic and a way to say goodbye to my character. A way to realize none of these items truly mattered for a meaningful life. That it doesn't hurt to peel away like this.
One last step (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I've been there (Score:4, Funny)
* Give away all the items I could
* Drop a tradeskill
* Learn enchanting (1)
* DE whatever I could
* Give away the disenchanted mats
* Sell what I couldn't DE
* Destroy what I couldn't sell
* Delete my character
* Cancel my account
* Uninstall
* Throw away all CDs, manuals, and shred handwritten WoW notes
That's only 11 Steps, you need one more, so include:
* Cancelling the card
Seriously, if these games are this addictive, the next thing that's got to happen is a massive tobacco style lawsuit and cash settlement.
Dont lash yourself to the mast... (Score:5, Interesting)
My friend had a better approach than deleting his stuff. He download a out-of-date version of WOWglider (a blatant hack), knowing that blizzards hack detection system would catch it immediately, and left it running overnight. Came back in the morning to find his account permanantly banned by blizzard.
Why strap yourself to the pole when you can get the
Re:Dont lash yourself to the mast... (Score:4, Funny)
Oops, looks like your
I disagree (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:I disagree (Score:2)
"If I play for 14 hours daily for 9 days, I should be back to 60 and farming MC easily, AND I get the enjoyment of more than 100 hours of gaming."
Keep in mind, most MMOG addicts have no problem grinding from the basics repeatedly.
Re:I've been there (Score:2)
Re:I've been there (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I've been there (Score:5, Interesting)
Addiction to MMOGs is not different than being addicted to TV, Books, or any other form of entertainment. People get addicted to porn, chatting, and surfing boring web sites.
Why? Because life really blows most of the time and usually we hate our jobs and hate our girlfirends and lives... Some of us deal better than others. Some get by with a crutch.
Peronsally, I can't go a week without drinking some type of alcoholic beverage and I get pretty bitter and hateful to people when I go any longer than that... It was either give up drinking or cigarettes and I figure drinking makes me a more socialble person and I don't smell like burnt fire all the time.
Secondly, MMOGs are not chemical addictions and should not be treated as such. Alcohol... Well it can ruin people, but unless you drive drunk all the time its not going to kill you like meth, crack, or heroine (and being from a club scene I've seen first hand people's lives being shot up pretty bad or just being dead
Those kind of things you need to try to go cold turkey ASAP, but MMOGs and non-chemical addictions you need to simply attempt moderation or complement with something else that is more interesting.
You should probaly point out that he might not be able to play online games so much if he looses his job and that you should maybe setup something fun for him. Like movies... Bar hopping... Maybe a concert. Some place where he can maybe meet a girl or other people with same interests. Don't make him do it if he doesn't want to, but maybe ask if there is anything he wants to do other than play online.
Heck... Why don't you encourage a person with an MMOG addiction to meet more players like him at game conventions (like dragon con or penny arcade con) so that maybe he can meet other people that also have the same problem and he can go "Geez.. That guy is really addicted to that game... Oh wait..."
Simply saying... "Hey! You play this game too much! You should be more socialble!" without providing an alternative really makes for a bleak life. He should turn his addiction into something into something acceptable past time and perhaps gain from it.
Either way... I feel his pain and understand your MUD story from college. I think the only reason I quit Ultima Online is when OSI changed the game so much that it was no longer fun... *grumbles* Til this day I am so tempted to go back.
Re:I've been there (Score:2, Funny)
Well, that explains
Now, if you'll excuse me, the withdrawl symptoms are kicking in. I need to go read another dull story, or the trolls will start appearing on the ceiling again.
Re:I've been there (Score:3, Insightful)
If your life is that bad, change it. Look for a new job. If you have to take a pay cut, its probably worth it. If your girlfriend isn't a positive thing in your life (if you don't enjoy most of the time you spend with her), dump her. Its better to be single than miserable.
Re:I've been there (Score:3, Interesting)
Somehow, I don't see this as an effective argument in favor of not finding a better job.
Being single IS being miserable.
I was single (no wife or girlfriend) for more than 20 years, and wasn't miserable. It is true, that the years that I've been married are even better, but if you're miserable just because you're single, I pity you.
I doubt people dedicating their lives to a computer game are really that happy.
I agree.
Re:I've been there (Score:3, Funny)
You're kidding yourself (Score:2, Insightful)
You're also kidding yourself if you think the repetitive but spontaneous release of dopamine and endorphine isn't a chemical addiction. These games are designed to create that kind of response, and the symptoms of withdrawal show up in these cases on a very regular basis.
Ah, the dopamine bullshit (Score:5, Insightful)
Get this: dopamine is just a non-specific "I'm happy" signal in your brain. No more, no less. It's not some dope hit as a reward, or whatever bullshit you may have heard from ignorant scare mongers. It's _the_ natural "I'm happy" signal that the brain uses. (Some drugs immitate its effects, yes, which is why they also make one happy. But that's the correct relationship: drugs are a substitute for the brain's normal chemicals, not the other way around.)
It's also non-specific. It doesn't fire just for MMOs, it fires every time you're glad about something. When the village gossip-monger found a good listener, or when the amateur photograph finds a cool thing to photograph, or when the Slashdot karma-whore sees that he's been moderated +5 Insightful... guess what? The exact same kind of dopamine response is involved. And not just in humans. When your cat is glad that she found a nice comfy place to sleep in, or when your dog is glad that the pack leader (i.e., you) gives him attention, yep, it's dopamine again.
And yes, you're sorta pre-addicted to it from even before you were born. Everyone seeks to do the things they find pleasant, as opposed to the things they dislike. And yes, the dopamine levels immediately start to decay so you'll have to find the next fun thing to do, instead of being happy for your whole life that you once played a game. Go figure.
Natural selection used that kind of stimulus to keep one doing the "good" things, as opposed to randomly doing dumb things. E.g., wolves have to feel glad about getting back near the pack, so they don't get spread.
So the only way to not feed that scary dopamine addiction would be to avoid having any fun in your life.
There is no such thing as being "addicted to MMOs" strictly, as is the case with other drugs. When you're addicted to, say, Alcohol or cigarettes, there is only one substance that can satisfy the addiction. In the "dopamine addiction" anything fun will work just as well.
Again, it's just that humans (and all other animals) are pre-"addicted" to doing fun stuff, and to avoid non-fun stuff. _Any_ fun stuff will do. Sure, some get in a rut about how they get their fun, but then non-gamers find their own ruts too. (E.g., the village gossip-monger can get stuck on looking for the next listener, or the Slashdot karma whore can get stuck on refreshing the page.) But from the dopamine point of view, _anything_ fun will trigger it just the same anyway. That's all.
And saying that "These games are designed to create that kind of response" is just a pretentious way of saying: games are designed to be fun. That's all.
It's not just computer games, and it's not just humans. Most animals have their own games, tailored around what natural selection pre-programmed them to find fun.
E.g., cats are predators, so the natural selection advantage was to be pre-programmed along the lines of "go chase something that moves and, if needed, fight it." So that's what they get, surprise, a dopamine hit for. So they have their own games where they wrestle each other. (When it looks like your cats are beating the living snot out of each other, chances are good that that's their idea of a game, not actual fighting.) Or everyone has played with their cat by making her chase something, be it a piece of paper on a string or a spot of light or whatever. Yep, that's dopamine for your cat. Somewhere in her feline brain there'll be a "yay, I chased it and caught it! I'm happy!" response, which means dopamine.
E.g., rabbits are prey and their fun stuff is along the lines of "yay, I successfully ran away from some menace". So if you observe them, you'll see that they actually play games along those lines. They actually chase each other, effectively playing the role of a "menace" for each other.
Etc.
So, yes, humans are pre-addicted to fun (_all_ humans, including non-gamers), and games are designed to be great fun. It doesn't sound as pretentious and pseudo-scientiffic as the "addiction to dopamine" bullshit, but that's really all there is to it. Big whopping surprise there.
Re:Ah, the dopamine bullshit (Score:5, Insightful)
However, there are other factors that make getting off an MMOG addiction harder then just finding something "more fun". The brain uses dopamine to indicate fun yes, but it also learns which things are fun making it all the more likely to do those things, and all the harder to stop. It takes time to learn a new fun activity because you have to beat not just the dopamine released by warcraft, but all the learning as well.
And there's another factor: quitting WOW also means coming to realization that you just flushed away the last 2 years of your youth is a soul crushing and therefun distinctly unfun experience. The new fun activity has to be more fun than WOW plus the unfun of coming to this epiphany.
Some players have this epiphany while still playing WOW, and at that point the game becomes not just fun, but an escape mechanism as well.
So nothing you've said is wrong, but there are a few additional wrinkles. Evolution has tacked a great deal of learning on top of our "fun detector" and WOW pushes all the right buttons.
Re:Ah, the dopamine bullshit (Score:3, Insightful)
But it is entirely possible to play WoW, stop, look back, and think "Well, that was a fun way to spend my leisure time, what's next?" It doesn't always involve regret. Though I've since quit, I had fun in SWG and, aside from the grinding, I don't think my time was wasted
And now for the constructive part (Score:3, Insightful)
If someone ends up retreating into a game, or into any other kind of compulsively seeking one kind of fun instead of dealing with RL, blaming it on the dopamine is addressing the symptom instead of the cause. The real cause there is the sharp contrast in how much fun that is in contrast to their RL problems. The real problem there is that basically they find that the rest of their life sucks and doesn't give them much r
One Way (Score:2)
L
Re:I've been there (Score:2)
Wrong.
Gambling isn't a chemical addiction either, but it's just as damaging as alcohol and drugs, and needs to be treated the same.
Re:I've been there (Score:5, Interesting)
While I agree with you that most addictions can only be treated by changing one's lifestyle (introducing new hobbies, finding new interests, setting goals for yourself, meeting new people, etc.) I disagree with you on the difference between a chemical addiction and a non-chemical one.
Most chemical addictions are rooted in the release of neurotransmitters such as endorphines, serotonin, dopamine, etc. which control the pleasure pathways in your brain. These things are responsible for emotions of happiness and general feelings of euphoria (physical and psychological). Ultimately, one becomes addicted to sex, videogames, TV, internet, reading, working out, and all other addictions because of similar biochemical processes that these activities cause. The only difference is that with drugs like meth and heroin, the effect is more dramatic, and the reward is more instantaneous.
I'm probably going to get a lot of flak from people, and I know that most people reading this will probably pass a lot of unfounded judgements about my character by my revealing this, but I do think I'm more knowledgeable about addiction than a lot of people because of my first-hand experience, and I appreciate how serious a problem an addiction can be, so I'm gonna share a little of my personal experiences.
When I was in junior high, and high school, I used to be really addicted to counter-strike. I mean, I would spend 6+ hours a night playing CS, often neglecting to do my homework till 3 or 4 AM. I had other interests such as programming and reading, but around 9th and 10th grade videogames began really consuming my life. So I understand the overpowering grip of a videogame addiction. Luckily, I was able to kick that addiction before I left high school, so while I saw my roommates in college cripple their social life, and ultimately dropping out of school because they became so utterly unhappy with their day-to-day life, I did not suffer from the same pitfalls.
However, at some point in the past 2 years I became addicted to heroin and opiates. I used to "chip"--as they call it--meaning, shooting up once a week or once a month only. I had no physical dependence to the drug, and in fact it played a very small role in my life. I was actually chipping for quite a while before I actually descended into full-blown addiction. Nowadays, I can't stay clean for more than a week at a time. I have to go through withdrawal to even get that far, but even after I fully detox and lose my physical dependence, I still relapse.
Now, a lot of people think that heroin is poisonous to your body, or that most heroin users inevitably OD and die. That's not true. Heroin, like morphine, oxycodone, hydrocodone(vicodin, percocet, etc.), codeine, etc. are actually rarely ever physically harmful unless combined with alcohol or other respiratory depressants. Even at high doses, they don't really exhibit any toxic effects on your body. They actually lower your heart-rate and blood pressure, and are arguably healthier for you in the physical sense than alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine even. It is unlikely that I will ever die from using heroin, or that I'll loose my arm like in Requiem for a Dream; I have pretty good hygene and adhere to safe injection techniques. Heck, I'm probably better at administering an IV injection than most trained nurses. So long as I continue to use sterile saline solutions, don't re-use or share needles, and avoid doing stupid things like injecting pills, I'm unlikely to suffer any physical consequences from my heroin habit other than perhaps I'll age a little slower than other people (a side effect of chronic heroin use).
But the reason why this is an addiction, and not just a habit, is because it has consumed my life. It takes up all of my energy (constantly trying to acquire drugs, support my habit, get new needles, avoiding withdrawal), and when I'm not on heroin, I'm thinking about it. Even before I started doing heroin I abused other drugs such as weed and alcohol, and my social life has been negatively af
Re:I've been there (Score:2)
Re:I've been there (Score:3, Insightful)
In their situation, the online gaming had started as a way for friends and family to get together and socialize across long distances. After a little while it became apparent that one of the people had developed an unhealthy addiction to the game - to the point that the parent post describes.
While I'm not familiar with the entire recovery process that they use, I know that a portion of the process was that everyone involved cancelled their accounts. i.e. if Ka
You asked for it... (Score:5, Funny)
You buy 'em a better video card, another stick of RAM, you order a pizza, and you say "yes" whenever he asks if you wanna go on a raid.
Or did you mean to help him do something else? :)
Re:You asked for it... (Score:2)
Re:You asked for it... (Score:5, Insightful)
Beat him and steal his modem (Score:2, Funny)
The usual... (Score:2)
Maybe he should take up smoking while he is at it?
Re:The usual... (Score:3, Insightful)
Solution. (Score:2, Funny)
Ok... sorry, sorry... couldn't resist. =)
Re:Solution. (Score:2)
Anyone know any other good games with hot-seat type of play?
How not to... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:How not to... (Score:3, Interesting)
In my experience people becoming addicted to things like MMOs/games as a displacement activity. There's probably something else in
Re:How not to... (Score:2)
Re:How not to... (Score:2)
Also, you can play via gamecards. You buy 90 days worth of time at Frys and get an id code to prove it.
Re:How not to... (Score:2)
Good luck on that. (Score:5, Insightful)
I agree (Score:5, Insightful)
MMOs provide an easy path, with clear rewards and punishments. RL doesn't usually provide any clear feedback on how you're doing in it.
Oh, and hallucinogens can be good for treating addiction.
Re:I agree (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I agree (Score:5, Funny)
Not to mention that RL is decidedly dragon-free.
-Eric
He will stop eventually (Score:4, Insightful)
I also see people who are online in games constantly and I don't understand how anyone could possibly put up with the game for extended periods of time without taking any real breaks. (Going to the bathroom doesn't count.)
Re:He will stop eventually (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:He will stop eventually (Score:2)
I've been saying that to myself for five years now, but I haven't stopped posting stupid crap to Internet forums yet.
Maybe tomorrow I'll finally give up.
Any way you can (Score:5, Insightful)
Something, But Not Your Soul (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Any way you can (Score:2, Insightful)
I think that's a very important point that people very often overlook. I've got an addictive personality myself, and had problems with games (Team Fortress) a few years back. Eventually I cut back and started working out a lot. What
Re:Any way you can (Score:2)
intervention (Score:5, Interesting)
there are several tactics you can use to get your point across. if your friend doesn't let challenges go unanswered, challenge him to put himself in a situation where he can't play the game for a month or two. tell your friend how his addiction is affecting your relations with him (this is particularly relevant if his family or significant other is at the intervention). you need to be careful that when you do this, you're making "i" statements --- "i feel like _____ when you ditch me" rather than "you ditched me, jackass". you know your friend a lot better than i do, so you've got a better feel for what may or may not work well for him. while you're having the intervention, it's really important that you all make it clear that a) you're there for him, b) you're not judging him, c) you're going to help him pull through when he asks for your help, d) this is not something that will be discussed outside of the people in the room. your goal is to make the room a safe space (much easier said than done).
good luck -- you're about to go through a really rough patch.
Addiction (Score:2, Interesting)
Get a life (Score:5, Interesting)
I played Asheron's Vall obsessively for 4 years. I spent one entire summer doing nothing but. By the time I quit, I'd accumulated well over 6 months of online time. I dropped out of all my college classes... Two quarters in a row.
My parents did me a huge favor and kicked me out of their home on my 21st birthday. I found an appartment, got a job I enjoyed, and got engaged. Between the job and the fiance, I didn't have _time_ to play for months. By the time I had time again, I'd lost interest. I played about a total of 40 hours of WoW over the course of a month and a half this year, but rapidly got bored, and haven't logged in a single time in months.
Sounds good. (Score:4, Insightful)
Wait, wait, don't tell me .... back to the RPG?
What worked for me (Score:5, Interesting)
It takes different things for different people. Lots of things were tried on me but the feelings I had for my girlfriend (now fiance we are getting married this summer) are what won the day for me.
Throwing his life away ? (Score:2)
Will he just curl up and die at some point ?
Or will he end up raggedy shoed with a paper cup saying "spare some change for an hour of computer time ?"
leave him alone, it could be the last fun he ever has !
Best Wishes For Speedy Recovery (Score:2)
And half jokingly, how about those of us addicted to their jobs. Sounds stupid but I think it happens an awful lot in today's world.
stoney mcPot (Score:3, Funny)
Re:stoney mcPot (Score:5, Funny)
And then drive to Canada?
How I quit (Score:5, Funny)
It is a simple question of economics. The person can spend 8 hours grinding levels for alts at World of Warcraft to get 2% better stats. Or they can spend 8 hours with their primary character grinding date quests, with a 20% chance of success and a 5% chance of critical hit.
At the end of a week, player 1 has just 15% higher stats. But player 2 has a pretty good chance of getting (or becoming) an ultra rare pet, with only a base level 18 requirement. Depending on which server and region you are in, group quests are also a possibility.
There can be complications with item drops, but anything you don't want can be sold at the auction house.
Re:How I quit (Score:2, Funny)
Re:How I quit (Score:3, Funny)
Re:How I quit (Score:3, Funny)
Get some real advice (Score:2)
Everquest recovery (Score:4, Interesting)
Live and let live (Score:5, Insightful)
Incidentally, my life has never particularly suffered as a result of the small amount of game addiction that I have experienced. Maybe my marks would have been a bit higher (I usually get low to mid A's and high B's, with the odd A+ for flavour) if I'd spent less time gaming and more time doing homework, but realistically, if I hadn't been gaming or wasting time doing other hardcore nerd stuff, I would have been out dancing, getting drunk, and having random unprotected sex like the average university student -- not exactly my cup of tea.
Quite honestly, having a chance to play a game, interact with people all over the world, roleplay, and gank the hell out of a bunch of noobs is a LOT more important to me than getting laid or frying a bunch of brain cells, even though the latter activities might be more "normal" or even "healthy." If gaming makes me happy and sex/drinking doesn't, my former friends don't need to intervene... if they truly care, they need to let me be happy on my own terms.
There are certainly people who do need help breaking a game addiction, specifically the ones who are actually depressed by the prospect of losing aspects of their real lives, but the point I'm trying to make is that not all game addicts either want or need help. I'd rather let people be happy doing what they love than force them to take part in more socially-accepted activities that I know they're going to hate. Maybe they will lose their jobs, marriages, and friends, but if they're still happy, why does it matter? Isn't it better to be unemployed, alone and happy than rich, married, and depressed?
(Sorry for being so incoherent, but I hope you'll get the idea -- I'm at work, and I'm sleepy from skating during my lunch break and spending the rest of the day coding, so my brain isn't exactly working at full capacity.)
Incoherent? Hell, (Score:2)
If someone can find solace or-god-forbid joy in this hell of unending stress then I say more power to
Re:Live and let live (Score:2)
Re:Live and let live (Score:3, Interesting)
Wait ten years and then see how wise that was. (Score:4, Insightful)
It matters because that contentment is temporary. Ten years later, when they've failed out of college and can't get anything other than a dead end job due to no qualifications and a string of firings due to not showing up at work, their future is going to look incredibly miserable. I have little sympathy for people who ruined their lives by having only looked at their immediate happiness instead of their long-term happiness and success.
Money won't make you happy, but poverty will make you miserable. People who can be happy while alone and penniless are rare in this world, and they're never people who are so wrapped up in some material trapping (like a game or booze or drugs) that they can't function in the real world.
Interventions always make the people involved angry and upset, but it's worth it to keep someone you care about from ruining their lives.
Quite honestly, having a chance to play a game, interact with people all over the world, roleplay, and gank the hell out of a bunch of noobs is a LOT more important to me...
I already didn't like you for suggesting that people be left to rot for their short-term happiness, but you're also a griefer who gets off on making the game miserable for new players too? What a prick.
Re:Live and let live (Score:2)
No, I've made an informed decision about how I want to spend my time... and gaming is a lot more fun.
Psh, weaklings (Score:4, Funny)
On a more serious note, for the love of God, mod me up! I've been posting and posting trying to gain karma, and it's starting to effect my work ethic!!
Sign him up for Star Wars Galaxies.... (Score:4, Funny)
Not exactly sure what your friend is doing. (Score:2)
If the friend is skipping work may be he's trying to get the PvP rank.
Or may be his raid group runs at a time that collides with his work.
It's his life (Score:2)
BUT
It is his life.
If he wants to get a tattoo (and risk hep) he can.
If he wants to rock-climb (and risk dying) he can.
If he wants to bungie jump he can.
If he wants to join the french foriegn legion he can.
If he wants to quit his job he can.
If he wants to play WOW then -he can-.
It's also -his responsibility-.
That means- you don't
It's not just the game.. (Score:3, Interesting)
Especially now that most MMORPG'ing is accompanied by Teamspeak etc, chances are your friend has quite good friends in the game, that he chats with, spends a lot of time with (more time probably than with any real life friend). Don't short the importance of these friendships, if he were to stop playing the game, he might feel like he was betraying friends, or walking away from people who counted on him. I know I definitely felt like that, possibly because I played an enchanter, and the guilds I was in often couldn't run certain raids unless I was on.
If you're going to get him to quit the game, you have to make sure he feels like he's not walking out on the people he's spent literally weeks or months of his time interacting with. I know I still keep in touch with a fair number of my EQ friends, and have since met several of them IRL and turned game friendships into more tangible ones. Giving him support in that process, not belittling the time he spends with his online friends, and making sure he doesn't feel like he's leaving them in a lurch is probably the most important support you can give him.
Will it cure itself? (Score:3, Insightful)
If WOW becomes a problem so that you lose your job, and income, eventually you will lose the means to play WOW. Self-solving problem.
Harsh way to solve an addiction, but in the end, it will solve itself. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can start back up.
Steve
Distractions (Score:3, Interesting)
If you have the option, and you have to use a computer, get a low-powered one that can't play the game. If yer a MUD addict, then get rid of your client. You'd be surprised how much more tedious playing MUDs can be without a client. If that still doesn't work, maybe an abacus is more your speed for the time being...
When I say get out of your house, I don't mean exercise, or any of that crap, (unless you wanna, then go for it), but just leave your house. Go hang out with friends. They should be supportive. Go to the bar, take in a movie, whatever, but leave the computer alone, entirely. You need to find new distractions to replace the game, and no single distraction will do the job, if it did, you'd just be transferring your addiction onto another, possibly worse, activity.
When I played EQ, my hard and fast rule was simple. I played the game, ruthlessly, for dozens of hours at a time. But, if someone called, or came over, or just generally wanted to do something, I quit the group, or raid, or whatever and went out. No ifs ands or buts. If there was *anything* else to do (involving contact with other humans), the game got shut off. I suggest the same rule for anyone who is worried that they are heading down the ol' addiction road. Sometimes I'd just go out with friends, just to talk about EQ for 5 or 6 hours. But we weren't playing the game, and we were out of the house.
You play the game because it relieves boredom. Get bored again, and you'll figure out things to do.
Addiction it is not (Score:3, Insightful)
That aside, long as the guy eats, does his laundry etc why can't he sit on his ass playing his MMO 8+ hours every day?
Many have pointed out it's not the addiction to the game, it's how fucking boring real life can be. How tedious and monotonous it can be to get up every morning at the fucking crack of dawn before the sun is even up, to go to work where you'd more than likely be charged with doing some menial task. Often constricted with many rules such as no personal phone calls (you'll see what I mean in a moment) or radio or anything to take your mind off how fucking boring it is to slave away at whatever you are doing. And this is even assuming you have a nice deskjob. Think about the poor bastards doing the manual labor.
So you do your job for 8 hours every day, usually 5 maybe 6 days a week, year round. With no obligations to a personal family or children you are bound only to yourself. Why can't the guy sit at home and play his MMO? Sure, in some similarities, WoW (or other games) can be just as tedious as a real job. But in an MMO, you can chat with friends without being scolded by an employer, you can use any program you want such as Winamp or a voice comm to talk to people. Then there's the actual fun in the game, the tradeskilling/farming aside, I'm sure they find their real fun doing the PvP or end game PvE stuff with guildmates and friends to be the bread & butter of the game.
Let him play. Long as guy understands he needs to go to work, pay his bills, get a decent amount of sleep each day/night then he's good to go. Don't force him to "go out with friends" in real life. Ever consider some of us don't like fucking going out? I personally can't stand bars or bar hopping, or clubs etc And around here thats all there is for people in their mid 20's to do. Sure a girlfriend could benefit him but don't try to force him into something, thats something he and only he will choose to do at some point if he ever does.
Intervention. (Score:3, Funny)
UO addiction (Score:3, Insightful)
And one day, I just decided to quit. I've been unable to find it, but I was writing an article somewhere about the life of a UO player and by the time I had finished it I realized what a mess my life had become as a result of that game and decided to end it. I quit and didn't look back. It seemed to be an addiction, but not a dependancy. I didn't miss it once I'd quit, but I don't think it was something I could have handled in moderation, and for that reason I refuse to touch any MMORPGS no matter how much fun someone tells me one might be.
Ultimately, the decision was entirely mine, and certainly not suggested or motivated by anyone else. In fact, most of my friends at the time played the game and tried to discourage me from quitting. I really wouldn't know how to get someone else to quit, other than to find an activity that is enjoyable enough that it draws them away from the game, but you have to get them away from the game in both body and mind long enough for a competing interest to take hold. It's quite possible he realizes there's a problem and is just unsure about how to deal with it. You might have a tough sell recommending quitting, but it can be done.
-Restil
Step one (Score:3, Funny)
If smashing device does not yield any response (ie: subject continues to play game, perhaps by closing eyes and "visualizing" himself as his character), hit his head with same hammer. Take care to not do as much damage as you did to the display device. Then engage in physical discussion of why.
At least he'll be involved in a real struggle.
My experience (Score:3, Insightful)
My history is something like this: enter university, do great. Find out about MUDs. Stop studying. Mistake: lie to parents about study results. Play MUD for three years, while the RL problems and the lies pile up. Stop playing. Finally confess to parents a year later. Spend next three years in a bad depression. Find a good psychologist. Spend next three years rebuilding some self confidence. Eventually, actually find a job and actually finish study. End result: 10 years mostly lost to MUD.
Could anyone have helped, early on? No way, I ignored those people. Besides, all my friends played too, and we were having tremendous fun (really! and it's where I learned how to code well). When not thinking about real life, and the pile of two years worth of mail I didn't dare to open.
If he's like me, he's feeling guilty about missing work and escaping from the guilt by playing more WoW. It's a death spiral. Almost everybody eventually gets out, but it can take years.
But, there is still hope. Are you people (his RL friends) also friends with him in game, ie on Teamspeak together? Then step 1 is to stop playing. All of you. He won't stop to visit you and see you playing; nor can you send him back to a RL where his friends aren't available much because they're playing a game he can't play. And if you don't quit, you'll just be talking about the game when he's around... So stop playing yourself, first. It's only a game to you, right? So that shouldn't be a problem.
Second, be very blunt to him. He needs to quit. At this point, he may choose to ignore you and avoid you from here on. If so, it's out of your hands.
Third, give him a good alternative - fun in real life. I prefer getting board games, booze and a bunch of people around a table regularly. Some girls too (mostly to improve the atmosphere, mixed company is more fun). Or do some outdoors stuff, or whatever... I volunteered for a student bar. Just make it seem worthwhile for him to give up his in game social relations.
And hey, at least it's not heroin. It's slightly cheaper and usually doesn't leave him dead at the end of the ride. It could be worse...
When I was in college... (Score:3, Insightful)
Needless to say, when the port was turned back on, the Evercrack addictions came back in full force.
Personally, from seeing where the Evercrack addicts ended up after they quit, I think the addiction is really a symptom of problems that only trained medical professionals can help.
Perhaps the best thing you can do for your friend is guide him to a professional. (And accidentally cut his cable connection an hour before each appointment!)
It's simple... (Score:3, Interesting)
stop the addiction at the router (Score:5, Interesting)
I've been waiting to tell this story and this seems to be an appropriate venue.
I'm friends with a married couple. I'll call them Jack and Jill because one of them reads slashdot and I don't want to give the secret away.
Jack is a WoW addict. He works part time, plays 50+ hours per week. Is a member of a raiding guild and is always coveting that next purple, orange or whatever colored item.
Jill, his wife, is frustrated over his addiction. She bought an account just so she could spend a little more time with him. She leveled a character to 60 and occasionally raids but she enjoys RL more than the game and so resents having to play the game in order to spend time with her husband.
This is the part I thought was pretty cool.
Jill is the techie of the household and uses a linux based router/firewall/webserver/etc for local networking. As Jacks addiction grew worse she started checking out the ports used by WoW. Inititally she just started monitoring them in order to find out how much time he actually plays but later she realized she could throttle the connection (introduce lag) or block it completely (gee, the WoW servers are down again). The result is that when Jack has been playing WoW all day and Jill wants to go to dinner she either severely throttles the connection or cuts it completely. Jack thinks the blizzard servers are fscked up, wastes some time trying to log in and eventually gives up and joins Jill for dinner. Now Jill gets to occasionally go to dinner with Jack, to the movies, to a party. I kind of like it because I'm good friends with Jack and I get to see him occasionally now and then.
I'm not blind to the deception of this act. Yes it's kind of creepy, but so is not showering, playing wow for 20 hours straight with quick toilet breaks. While it doesn't get rid of the root problem of the addiction, it has prevented jack from completely losing all RL socialization.
Re:Dialup. (Score:3, Insightful)
He won't. Part of the addiction to a MMORPG is relating to your character(s), being your characters. The "real" life is so unimportant because your alter-ego in the game does the living for you, why would you need a "real" life out of the game when you already have such an interresting one inside of it?
Addicted people don't sell their chars, not thei
Re:Sad... (Score:2)
The most famous cases are from Korea, but
Re:Sad... (Score:3, Informative)
Pulmonary thrombosis (aka pulmonary thrombo-embolism) is when you sit still for too long, blood settles in veins in your legs and starts to clot, and then after you get up, one or more of the clots breaks loose and gets stuck in your lungs.
Intensely painful, fairly dangerous, sometim
Re:Intervention? Maybe.... (Score:2)