Review: Juvenile Felis Catus 350
MBCook writes "Looking for something new? Well Dan's Data has a review of something called a "Juvenile Felis Catus" (or "kitten" for short). The review goes over everything from how to aquire one, to required maintence, to storage, to a comparison against other ways of spending your money (kitten vs. puppy vs. baby vs. new video card). The article is full of useful and informative links such as your average kitten's standard configuration. A well reasoned and interesting review."
Ode to Spot (Score:5, Funny)
-- Data
(sorry, it was the first thing that came into my mind when I saw a review of "felis catus" on a page called "Dan's Data")
First thing I thought of... (Score:5, Funny)
Hello? Tech support? Yeah, I've got one of your "Felis Catus", juvenile models... it seems to be expelling large amounts of hair-like spheres... yes, it does go into self-cleaning mode rather often... yes, it has been eating solid foods, rather than moist... yes, it's been drinking water, rather than milk... oh. Reboot? I'll try... *kick*MEOW!*
Re:Ode to Spot (Score:5, Funny)
At least spot doesn't have prerequesites
Re:Ode to Spot (Score:5, Funny)
At least spot doesn't have prerequesites"
We call those dependencies 'round here, even though it seems to be the other way around. Arg. I've been watching emerge too long.
Re:Ode to Spot (Score:2)
Re:Ode to Spot (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Ode to Spot (Score:2)
(Actually her contribution (random repeated alphanumerics) has been deemed 'lame', which is felist at best)
Re:Ode to Spot (Score:3, Funny)
A "Pets:" Section? (Score:3, Insightful)
First
What's next, RealEstate: ???
Re:A "Pets:" Section? (Score:2)
Re:A "Pets:" Section? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:A "Pets:" Section? (Score:2)
Re:A "Pets:" Section? (Score:3)
Re:A "Pets:" Section? (Score:5, Funny)
Ob. Futurama Quote (Score:2, Funny)
Re:A "Pets:" Section? (Score:2)
Re:A "Pets:" Section? (Score:2)
Embrace and extend, baby. Embrance and extend.
baby vs. new video card ?? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:baby vs. new video card ?? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:baby vs. new video card ?? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:baby vs. new video card ?? (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
How many? (Score:2)
Re:How many? (Score:5, Funny)
Jed - Ran away. Came back miraculously a few months later, but could not be domesticated.
Pico - Healthy cat, raised from a kitten, found dead inexplicably one day in the backyard.
Lynx (OK, not a text editor) - Great cat, lots of fun, worked for years, then disappeared, presumably coyote food.
Emacs - The only cat I still use now. Extremely independent and reliable, can be trained to strange behavoir, but only if he wants to be trained.
Name your pets wisely!
Re:How many? (Score:2)
--
mutt user
Please stop having cats. (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Please stop having cats. (Score:2)
(tig)
Re:Please stop having cats. (Score:2)
I used to agree with you. My old cat was definately an outdoor cat, he used to cry at the door if I ever tried to keep him inside out of concern for the local possum population.
After he died I got these two [216.218.248.155] who are indoors all week except for maybe a few hours on the weekend. They are perfectly happy.
Re:Please stop having cats. (Score:3, Funny)
Perhaps, but then they won't run the risk of running into dimensional transmogrifiers*.
* Some people call them cars, I call them dimensional transmogrifiers, because they turn 3-dimension cats into 2 dimension cats.--- F. Frederick Skitty
Re:Please stop having cats. (Score:2)
Re:Please stop having cats. (Score:2, Insightful)
Maybe their life is shorter, but it's THEIR LIFE. Like you may die faster if you ride a motorbike. You have no right to chose for others, btw in countries were they belong (i/e: everywhere except australia/newzealand) they just act as pest control.
Mine is a house tornado but she's ill at ease outside, so she stay at home. But my father's cat was a sleep at home hunt outside boy. No way to keep him inside wh
Re:Please stop having cats. (Score:5, Insightful)
In order for a cat to be happy and whole, it MUST hunt, it must have a chance to explore. It's cat nature.
Keeping one locked up it's entire life is no different than doing a bonsai kitty.
Oh, and PLEASE consider cutting off your fingers to the first joint before you consider de-clawing a cat; if you can't live with a clawed cat, Kill It, it's more merciful.
Re:Please stop having cats. (Score:3, Insightful)
And I do find it amusing that you on one hand support cruel and neglectful treatment of cats, and then in the next breath are against cruelty. I don't know why you associate being a reponsable owner with mutilating animals, it seems kinda weird. I don't injure my cats, or my dogs
Re:Please stop having cats. (Score:3, Funny)
Well there is more effort ito making a bonsai kitten. I have no idea where I can get small acrylic boxes.
And I'm ashamed that you wouldn't even give a link to the site. [bonsaikitten.com]
on a serious note, I think your full of crap. I've had many cats throughout my life and every time I give in and let them "have the chance to explore" it's been run over by a car.
Now I have 3 cats, all indoor, 2 kittens even. I have to say, these are t
Re:Please stop having cats. (Score:5, Informative)
The fact is that cats that allowed to roam free have an average life expectancy of 3 years [hsus.org] as opposed to 15-18 years for indoor only cats. House cats are domesticated animals. Many of the traits which help them survive in the wild have been bred out over thousands of years. Even wild cats which still have all of their instincts have no way of dealing with traffic, the number of poisons that are easiily found in the city and the cruelty that can be inflicted on them by other humans.
And if you are still convinced that your cat needs to go outside, please make sure that it is spayed or neutered. Remember that in seven years one female cat and her offspring can produce 420,000 cats. [hsus.org] Because of this shelters are forced to euthanize millions [americanhumane.org] of cats anually. These are people who love animals enough to make taking care of them a career, who have to kill cats each and every day because people are unwilling to spay/neuter and keep their cats locked in the house.
However, I do agree with you 100% on declawing. [declawing.com] It is indeed cruel, and there are ways to cope with the instinct and redirect it. And from personal experience working in shelters, a cat poses a much greater risk to people after it has been declawed, since the only weapon it has left to use when frightened is its teeth.
And as long as I am ranting on the topic of humane treatment of animals: If you are considering adopting a cat (or any other animal) please look into the amount of actual work it is and decide if you are capable of providing for the animals needs. If you do decide to bring an animal into your life, please please please consider adopting one from the local shelter or a breed specific rescue organization. Many pet stores and ads in the paper often get their animals [nopuppymills.com] through [canismajor.com] very cruel [hsus.org] sources [puppymills.com]. There are too many perfect animals waiting for homes to support the cruel trade of pets as product. And paying alot for a pet through a breeder that you do not know does nothing to guarantee the health and condition of that animal.
Re:Please stop having cats. (Score:4, Insightful)
Freedom and safety are in many ways a direct one-to-one tradeoff for each other. Both are desirable, neither is the correct choice. Such are the difficult decisions in life.
I suppose this wouldn't appeal if you're the sort of person who intends to force their children to become doctors when they want to be musicians, but personally, I believe in letting them choose their own fate. There is no proof a cat is actually smart enough to make this decision, but I believe they are. Regardless, I have had some cats who show no interest at all for going outside, and others who trod outside happily during the coldest, darkest, most miserable blizzards. Every cat is different just like every person is different.
Re:How many? (Score:2)
Nah, most cats eat dogs for breakfast, or they atleast give a damn good account of their selves. Being almost literally armed to the teeth helps a lot.
It was probably catnapped. As in, somebody started feeding it, and it st(r)ayed. They are like that, cats, always looking out for the number 1 mealticket.
Re:How many? (Score:2)
Re:How many? (Score:3, Funny)
My cat's name is Qusay.
From the moment I named her, she started running my household like a brutal dictatorship.
It's uncanny.
Re:How many? (Score:4, Funny)
negative one. (Score:2)
Re:How many? (Score:3, Funny)
Blargh. I just realized that, at the moment, we're 3 cats crazy, and we've been 4-5 cats crazy at times - not counting litters! Mix in two rufflebutts, two mini dauchsunds, a praying mantis, 3-4 stray cats that come around when it suits them, coyotes, deer, owls and (thanks to the cats) a regular flow of dead chipmunks, moles and birds... sheesh. Life on the farm, I guess. Best thing is I'm only 30 minutes outside of Pittsburgh :-)
Re:How many? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How many? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:How many? (Score:5, Funny)
The magnets have worked well to keep out the other neighborhood cats and a couple of raccoons who tried to chase my cat inside.
It can also be comical to watch how the cat reacts when the magnet comes into contact with a magnetic object. I quickly learned to remove spoons from bowls before offering to let my cats pre-rinse them.
Note that Cat 1.0 is not always compatible with Cat 2.0. Often random behavior will occur. Entertainment factor = # of cats squared.
Carryable! (Score:2, Funny)
Slashdot. News for Nerds. Stuff That's Old (Score:4, Informative)
Re:Slashdot. News for Nerds. Stuff That's Old (Score:5, Funny)
Slashdot. News for Nerds. Stuff That's [Tomorrows] (Score:2, Funny)
Tomorrow's review of women will correct the imbalance.
Um, talk about out of date.... (Score:2, Informative)
Two words in cat care (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Two words in cat care (Score:2)
What kind of a fucked up site is that?
I'm afraid (Score:5, Funny)
'
Kitten modding (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I'm afraid (Score:5, Funny)
Why do you have a problem with those two things belonging to one person?
Having spent a lot of time around University computing labs, I have no problem with the idea that programmers can have breasts.
Theirs are just hairier than the usual kind.
Re:I'm afraid (Score:5, Funny)
Yarrr. That will replace the whale in my nightmares.
Re:I'm afraid (Score:5, Funny)
Cat vs Video Card? (Score:5, Funny)
dangerous behavior (Score:2, Funny)
Confusion (Score:2)
**WARNING** (Score:5, Funny)
Just a word of advice from someone who's "been there".
Re:**WARNING** (Score:5, Funny)
Re:**WARNING** (Score:5, Funny)
I know this from experience. Also, do not leave an exposed rackmount keyboard, or you may find your iptables spontaneously changing.
Fun things to do with your cat (Score:2)
Next of Kzin (Score:4, Funny)
Can you run linux on it?
Imagine a beowulf cluster of these...
In Soviet Russia, cat posts year-old review of you.
What this needs is a new meme.
Can you start a new Man-Kzin War with one???
(Can also apply to pretty much any space technology or any technology that could be adapted to weaponry with difficulty. Especially applies to any laser-based communications system.)
It should be further noted that I forgot to include a subject and got the "Cat got your tongue" error message. Heh.
Re:Next of Kzin (Score:2)
Fun fact (Score:4, Informative)
Most cats (99%) are mixtures of several breeds.
Re:Fun fact (Score:5, Insightful)
Did you know that the entire concept of a "purebred" counts as total BS, a fictional concept designed to allow a small number of people to profit from an activity this particular species engages in prolifically (and loudly)?
Not to mention that a "mixed" breed will usually have fewer health problems (some defensive cat-slaver will no doubt chime in to dispute that - True, under optimal conditions, you can breed genetic disease out of a line. It simply does not happen in practice, as the largest motivation to breed involves profit, which you don't maximize by "rendering nonviable" two out of every three newborns).
Re:Fun fact (Score:5, Informative)
No reputable breeder sets out to make a profit on their cats, nor are they trying to breed "disease" out - they're bred for specific physical or emotional characteristics, and judged as such.
People who breed cats for profit are looked down upon as the scum of the universe by any real cat breeder. Every single one I know puts the health and well-being of their cats above any financial concern. There are people who spend close to $5,000 per year on their catterys, just for vet visits and sheltering.
Please, do a little research on the subject before you paint all cat breeders with the same evil brush. (No, I'm not one, but my wife is, and I assure you she's not in it for the money.)
Re:Fun fact (Score:3, Informative)
Personally, I think it's a little cruel to keep inbreeding animals. Purebred pets suffer so many more congenital problems than mutts.
I mean, why do we make dogs who are cousins hump and make inbred, sick puppies?
Re:Fun fact (Score:2)
"multiple rendering pipelines" (Score:2)
Re:"multiple rendering pipelines" (Score:2)
news for nerds?? (Score:2, Insightful)
I should qualify this....i do appretiate slashdot's choice giving exposure to third party pets.
ok i can't go on any longer....i for one welcome out new fluffy faced overlords and in soviet russia our kittens own us.
stendec@gmail.com
Re:news for nerds?? (Score:3, Funny)
No, I'm pretty sure that applies everywhere else as well...
Ed? (Score:2)
Cat tale (Score:3, Informative)
Just say no! (Score:2, Funny)
AHHHHHHHH!
Re:Just say no! (Score:3, Informative)
PC Speak? (Score:2)
"Desex?" Is that a politically correct euphemism for "cut their balls off?"
Please post more "I LOVE MY KITTY" bullshit (Score:2, Insightful)
Hell, file it under politics.slashdot.org!!! (Score:2)
Cat maintanence 1.1 (Score:5, Funny)
1. In toilet, combine one cat, one tablespoon pet shampoo.
2. Close lid. Sit down.
3. Flush.
4. Field calls from curious/concerned neighbors.
5. ????
6. Profit!
Keyboard error... Press F1 to resume.
who cares about standard configuration... (Score:2)
Hey, this is highly amusing (Score:4, Insightful)
This kitten was highly incompatible with the already installed old-blind-dog system. It took over a month of food and luck to get the two systems to cooperate without causing general-insanity faults with the owners.
Despite all that I could never take it back. I tried to take the cat back 24 hours after I bought it but I got about 2km down the road before everything was too blurry from the sudden onrush of water obscuring my vision.
http://pldaniels.com/photos/2004092001/mpic0000
These things are dangerously addictive
Re:Hey, this is highly amusing (Score:2)
Looks just like mine, 12 years ago... I just finished this website [st-armand.com] and for a while I didn't have the product logo so I put my own cat's picture on the page. The client said that's cute and didn't ask to remove the picture...
Re:Hey, this is highly amusing (Score:2)
http://pldaniels.com/photos/2004092001/mpic00002.
~jeff
Bunny (Score:3, Interesting)
In short, bunny
overclocking! (Score:3, Funny)
This guy is violating patent 5443036 (Score:2)
The question of course is whether a kitten is a derivative cat work, or if having a kitten gives this guy prior art...
had to mv my cat... (Score:3, Funny)
Wow (Score:2)
In other "news" (Score:2)
- AMD is rumoured to be working on a 64-bit chip that runs x86 code
- Microsoft releases Windows 3.1
- Hitler invades Poland
- Columbus bumps into new continent while looking for India
- Giant comet hits the Earth and causes mass extinction
Sombrero cat (Score:3, Funny)
We have two cats, Felix [cornbread.org] and Oscar [cornbread.org]. Yes, they live up to their names perfectly.
More tips... (Score:3, Funny)
2) Compatibility. Kittens are initially incompatible with additional kittens, resulting in cowering, hissing, and the occasional scratch. This will normally go away, and lead to mutual cooperation, with two kittens working together being far more destructive than two kittens working individually.
OK Ya'all, Try This WIth Your Cat (Score:3, Informative)
I put a couple of unopened capsules in my cat's refillable catnip mouse and that thing now gets a lot more play than it used to. I'd suggest being careful not to let them OD though. It is technically a drug and if that's not enough, a valerian spill in your house could result in you having to move out (It smells that bad, seriously.)
As an added benefit a couple of capsules of the stuff before bed will help you get to sleep a lot more gently than Nyquil will.
Re:What's the deal with geeks and cats? (Score:5, Funny)
Couldn't help but think of this (Score:2)
Re:Laser Pointer ? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Laser Pointer ? (Score:2)