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Security

Kryptonite U-Lock Security Flaw 554

An anonymous reader writes "Once upon a time, a magic marker was able to defeat the Key2Audio copy protection scheme of older Sony CDs. Now, it has been shown that a Bic pen can easily open several models of Kryptonite U-locks. Please patch your systems, or install a tracking device on your bikes!"
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Kryptonite U-Lock Security Flaw

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  • hmmm (Score:5, Funny)

    by crtfdgk ( 807485 ) * on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:00PM (#10288549) Journal
    sure this [bicworld.com] site will be /.ed soon....
  • Dupe of a comment... (Score:3, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:00PM (#10288550)
    Sound familiar? [slashdot.org]
  • people suck. (Score:4, Insightful)

    by mstich ( 222924 ) <mike&hops,ca> on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:00PM (#10288551)
    Too bad we couldn't just live in a society where we wouldn't have to worry about theft! :(
    • Re:people suck. (Score:2, Insightful)

      by SagSaw ( 219314 )
      Too bad we couldn't just live in a society where we wouldn't have to worry about theft!

      I fear that as long as there are things not everybody has (money/power/fame/etc.), some portion of the population will turn to illegal, immoral, or socially unacceptable means to achieve their goals. Unless we really want to live in a society where equality is enforced and nobody is allowed to have anymore than anyone else, the presence of thieves and other criminals is something we will always need to deal with.
      • Re:people suck. (Score:5, Insightful)

        by clifyt ( 11768 ) <sonikmatter@g[ ]l.com ['mai' in gap]> on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:43PM (#10288784) Homepage
        " Unless we really want to live in a society where equality is enforced and nobody is allowed to have anymore than anyone else, the presence of thieves and other criminals is something we will always need to deal with."

        I doubt it. There will always be a percentage of the population that is not happy with having the status quo. For instance, the crack dealers down the street from me have sent their friends to try to break into my house -- I know the one guy the police have caught is someone I'd seen hanging out in their den.

        Sadly, they have better shit than I do. They think since I'm white and a home owner I'm fair target. One of the kids that lives there asked me to help him with his computer because someone told him I was good with these things (I generally don't tell folks what I do in this neighborhood) and it was a better laptop than I had for work -- and this is a 12 year old boy. Not his dads laptop, *HIS*.

        Seems there was some sort of bios lock on the machine that was enacted after not signing it in after so many sessions (I'm not up with all the CompuTrace kinda shit that my work is always telling us we need to have on our machines).

        So, no matter how much one person has in comparison to those around him, it will never be enough for some people. Its good to think that some magic hippy star trek future would eliminate hunger and greed, and as this kind of future will never happen, it doesn't really harm anyone to believe in this -- at least until you start an economical ideology based around this and then start realizing that the common laborer doesn't need the same equipment that a research scientist does and you start to pass out equipment based on need, and you realize you have just created an unequal society once again and need to set up a draconian society to ensure everyone is equally unhappy in one way or another.

        Thieves are thieves and there will always be someone that wants something for nothing and wants to have more than those around him...
      • Re:people suck. (Score:3, Insightful)

        by CaptainZapp ( 182233 ) *
        [...]some portion of the population will turn to illegal, immoral, or socially unacceptable means to achieve their goals.[...]

        Man, you're description sure reminds me of the current lot in the white house.

    • Re:people suck. (Score:4, Insightful)

      by Groo Wanderer ( 180806 ) <<charlie> <at> <semiaccurate.com>> on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:28PM (#10288697) Homepage
      You mean like.... umm.... Nope, can't think of an example on this planet. You have one?

      -Charlie
    • by ThatsNotFunny ( 775189 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:53PM (#10288841)
      I would agree, but since I'm typing this on my stolen copy of Windows. I'd better not.
  • by lecithin ( 745575 ) * on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:01PM (#10288554)
    From their home page:

    "Canton, MA September 17, 2004 - Kryptonite today announced it will provide free product upgrades for certain locks purchased since September 2002, in response to consumer concerns about tubular cylinder lock technology. Consumers can visit the company's Website (www.kryptonitelock.com) on Wednesday afternoon, September 22, 2004, to learn how they can participate in the security upgrade program."
    • by mm0mm ( 687212 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:16PM (#10288635)
      "Replacement"?

      Wow, that sounds great. I was expecting to see a free Service Patch on their website to fix the security flaws. As far as I know that's how businesses take care of flawed products nowadays.

    • by SlideGuitar ( 445691 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:25PM (#10288691)
      If you are like me, you may own, say 3 kryptoloks, purchased over the last five years which you never bothered to register, and can't remember where you purchased them, or maybe you remember that you purchased them somewhere in Los Angeles and now you live in PDX... will this apply to unregistered locks? with no receipt? LIKE THOSE PROBABLY OWNED BY 90% OF FOLKS? ... and it sounds like they are only offering to let you spend more money on a new product by a company that sold you a defective product the first time around. "Please reward us for our mistake."

      Unless they are willing to replace the defective product, maybe it's time for a class action law suit?

    • upgrade won't fix it (Score:5, Informative)

      by djtack ( 545324 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:31PM (#10288721)
      Kryptonite today announced it will provide free product upgrades

      From what I have read, the upgrade will replace the lock core with one of a smaller diameter. This isn't really a long term fix - someone will probably discover a different brand of pen that will open the new locks as well.

      I have tried the Bic pen on my own Krypto lock - and it's really easy. The strange thing is, this isn't some design flaw with the lock. Everyone (hopefully) knows that all locks can be picked. But, it should be hard, requiring specialized tools and some skill. The Bic pen seems to have just the right magical combination of size, and balance of hard/soft plastic, that it makes an astonishingly effective lock pick. After opening my lock, the pen barrel had divots in it from the pins that looked just like my key. The plastic seems hard enough to push the pins down until they set, but then soft enough to hold the pin in that position.

      Also, this isn't exactly breaking news. [security.org]
      • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:49PM (#10288821)
        The pins in the lock are vunlerable to being raked because they're all set in roughly the same position. If they were disparate, you couldn't successfully rake them (except if you were very lucky and could bite chunks out of your bic pen to match the right key :)
    • by fmaxwell ( 249001 ) on Sunday September 19, 2004 @12:09AM (#10289143) Homepage Journal
      Kryptonite today announced it will provide free product upgrades for certain locks purchased since September 2002

      What they don't mention is that the flaw was first documented in the trade publication "Bicycle Business" magazine in 1992. So they've been knowingly selling defective locks for 12 years since then hoping that this day would never come.

      I've got five Krytonite locks:

      Two KryptoLok ATB U-Locks, one of which was never taken out of the package.
      One KryptoDisco-C motorcycle disc brake lock.
      One 6' x 5/8" Kryptonite Flex Security cable lock.
      One Kryptonie Flex Security U-Lock.

      All of the locks are in very good to new condition and all of them are older than two years old. That means I get no replacement locks from Kryptonite nor do I get any upgrades. I hear tell that I might get coupons for rebates on new Kryptonite locks. But it will be a cold day in hell before I ever buy another Kryptonite product if they don't fix or replace the locks I have at no charge to me.

      I am not being unreasonable. A lock, if well-cared for, is a lifetime investment. A well cared for lock that's five years old is no less useful than one which is 1 year old. Why should Kryptonite customers suffer because Kryptonite chose to knowinging, and deceptively, sell a defective product for over a decade? Anyone who bought a Krytonite lock with this flaw since the original article was published in 1992 should get a free upgrade/replacement.
  • Hmmm... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by TWX ( 665546 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:02PM (#10288564)
    Those environmentalists in Neal Stephenson's Zodiac [amazon.com] won't be very happy to learn this...
  • by cpt_rhetoric ( 740663 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:02PM (#10288567)
    They probably figured that would be theives wouldn't know how to write anyway. I'm sure it was found ver secure against a crayon.
  • Now if they'd only open-source these locks...
  • I do know for sure that this info has been out for at least two months, if not more.
  • by dtfinch ( 661405 ) * on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:04PM (#10288577) Journal
    Buy a pen.
    Win a free bike.
    • by Anonymous Coward
      Buy a pen.
      Win a free bike a week earlier than slashdot readers.
    • Re:Read slashdot. (Score:2, Insightful)

      by Spyro VII ( 666885 )
      Profit!!!! ??? Go To Jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.
  • by i_want_you_to_throw_ ( 559379 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:07PM (#10288586) Journal
    Like Coke machines? Same vulnerability? Of course your pen barrel would need to be MUCH bigger <SNICKER>
  • Previous Discussion (Score:5, Informative)

    by sahrss ( 565657 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:07PM (#10288587)
    First I thought this story was a dupe, then I realized I was just remembering [thirdrate.com] videos [biginjapan.com] and comments from a previous discussion [slashdot.org] in the "Steel Bolt Hacking" story.
  • by iammaxus ( 683241 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:09PM (#10288597)
    Does anyone else get the feeling that they are watching porn when they watch those videos with the guy wriggling the pen in the keyhole and then trying to pull the lock open? There is something inherently dirty in that...
  • video of (Score:2, Informative)

    Here is a video made by the gentleman who did it.
    * http://thirdrate.com/misc/krypto.mov [thirdrate.com]
    Another movie, different lock.
    * http://biginjapan.com/extranet/assets/ben/krypto_e v_disc_web.mov [biginjapan.com]

    Enjoy.
  • The videos (Score:5, Informative)

    by BReflection ( 736785 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:10PM (#10288602) Homepage

    Lockpick Video one [67.19.221.38]

    Lockpick Video two [67.19.221.38]

    Lockpick Video three [67.19.221.38]

    Lockpick Video four [67.19.221.38]

    Lockpick Video five [67.19.221.38]

  • by Walter Wart ( 181556 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:10PM (#10288603) Homepage
    I tried it out with my own lock. 30 seconds and it was open. I called the Kryptonite company. At the time they were aware of the problem and are rushing their next generation of cylinders into production.

    Interestingly enough, the problem was first reported in Britain in 1992. But it didn't go anywhere. Hurray for the age of fast information dissemination. And fast technology transfer to the bad guys.
  • by rusty0101 ( 565565 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:12PM (#10288613) Homepage Journal
    ... with a Garmin GPS receiver, and a Cell phone, I am looking for a bit of hardware to interconnect them so that if the bike takes off it will call me and I can report it's tracks to the local constabulatory.

    Of course with my luck the thief will think the cell phone and GPS are a more attractive theft item than the Bke...

    -Rusty
  • Well... (Score:5, Funny)

    by zhiwenchong ( 155773 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:12PM (#10288617)
    at least one person won't be able to open this lock: Superman.
  • New York Lock... (Score:4, Interesting)

    by SealBeater ( 143912 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:12PM (#10288618) Homepage
    I used to be a bike messenger and I would have always told you, use a New York
    Lock, which by the way, isn't vunerable to this attack. It's the best lock in
    the world, but at $50, only bike messengers seem to care enough/or know enough
    to pay the money. Honestly, I can't count the number of times I've seen
    expensive 1K and up bikes locked up with a $20 lock. If that.

    SealBeater
    • Re:New York Lock... (Score:3, Informative)

      by lantius ( 748963 )
      Actually, the standard u-lock portion of the New York Lock is suceptible to this attack. Fortunately alot of messengers ditch that part and instead use normal flat-keyed padlocks.

      Regardless, the worst part of this vulnerability is that it apparently even works against a number of the higher end, $80+ Kryptonite u-lock models. So it's just not a matter of cheap locks.

      I would never lock up my 1k+ bike anymore; if it is outside my house I am within arms length of it. I even use sturdy locks on my junk-bui
    • Re:New York Lock... (Score:3, Interesting)

      by kidlinux ( 2550 )
      HAH! $50?? I paid $160 CDN for my kryptonite lock and chain (the whole thing must weight close to 20lbs) and because I bought it before Sept. 2002 I'm not entitled to a free replacement. I get a "sizeable" discount on purchase of a new product.

      Fuck that. What difference does it make if I bought the damned thing a week ago or three years ago? I'm callin 'em on monday and giving them an earful about this.
  • by GuruHal ( 229087 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:13PM (#10288621)
    This is a flaw in the barrel style key system. I'm hardly a locksmith, but I've tried this on several of my locks and others just to prove the point, and the majority are not kryptonite locks. All of them have opened without more than 30 seconds of effort.

    The sick part is the problem has been well known to manufacturers since 1992, and nothing has been done about it.

    • The Kryptonite locks use the Ace or Ace II barrel, according to the forums I've been following. The former mechanism is somewhat easier to open using the pen exploit than the latter, but there are multiple reports of both types of mechanisms being opened. Same goes for the Kryptonite EV Disc lock.

      Further, even Kryptonite's (and other lock companys') New York models have been reported vulnerable to this attack.

      For readers who aren't aware, Kryptonite and other companies have special New York models to th

    • by Witchblade ( 9771 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:27PM (#10288696) Homepage
      At my freshman orientation at Ohio State in 1993 we we told about this on the first day by the RAs. I'm really surprised at seeing the cycling community react with total shock to this. I also can't believe the manufacturers weren't aware of the problem a decade ago, since it seemed to be pretty well known then.
    • by evilviper ( 135110 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:44PM (#10288794) Journal
      This is a flaw in the barrel style key system.

      No it isn't. It's a flaw in any cheap locks. You can open filling cabinets with a popsicle stick as well, and they aren't barrel locks.

      This is a problem with any lock.

      There are 2 things that a lock needs to prevent picking.

      1) A system that will prevent it from unlocking if any tumbler is pushed even slightly further than it should have been. If this isn't in-place, even a blank-key that fits the lock will open it.

      2) A system that prevents the tumblers from contacting with the locking mechanism. Otherwise, it's trivially easy to pick.

      And that's only to impliment basic security. I don't have any format training, but I can open 90+% of locks I see...

      Amazing as it may seem, quite a few safes don't follow rule #2. That means you can find the combination as fast as you could open it if you knew the combination. Also, it doesn't require any suspicious activity, as you just have a hand on the dial and a hand on the handle like you're someone that should be there...
      • Ya but it's more expensive to design a secure lock. I mean when I went sniffing about for house locks I could get most major brands like Kwikset at home depot for less than $50. This generally included a deadbolt and handle, sometimes more than one of each. Problem is they are quite easy to pick, as you note. You can literally use a paperclip and screwdriver, never mind if you have good tools, and you can get the keys copied anywhere.

        Well there was also the Medeco high security lock option. These are near
  • by iCharles ( 242580 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:13PM (#10288624) Homepage
    After all, this is slashdot.
  • by ericpi ( 780324 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:14PM (#10288627)
    ...the DMCA will soon make pens illegal.
  • by SlideGuitar ( 445691 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:17PM (#10288639)
    Normally the Oregonian is nothing to brag about, but damn if this wasn't the lead article
    http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/index.ssf ?/base/front_page/1095508748276280.xml [oregonlive.com]
    on Saturday morning.

    Makes me feel good to live in this town (Portland, aka Stumptown, aka River City aka the Rose City aka "the city that works") where the most important news in the world is that the locks we all use to secure our bikes aren't technically "locks." at all.

    PDX is one two wheelin' city.
  • Remember... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by k4_pacific ( 736911 ) <k4_pacific AT yahoo DOT com> on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:17PM (#10288642) Homepage Journal
    For less than the cost of a decent bike lock, you can buy a bike that's not worth stealing.
  • by metlin ( 258108 ) * on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:22PM (#10288672) Journal
    BoingBoing had it covered a long time ago [boingboing.net].

    Here're a couple of movies, too, with different locks - movie 1 [thirdrate.com] and movie 2 [biginjapan.com].
  • by bluewee ( 677282 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:23PM (#10288675)
    Tubular locks are usually designed so you have to turn it at least a quarter turn to open it, which would involve picking the lock several times. The Kryptonite they show releases the shackle in an intermediate position -- bad design there. A real tubular lock pick should open those locks; a simple plastic cylinder of the right diameter should not.
    • I've read this same exact post multiple times, and I still don't understand how having to turn it a quarter turn requires multiple picking. Any way to expand on this?
      • Here's an oversimlification: To turn the lock, the tumblers must be pushed just far enough to slide around a groove. Tumblers actually have a top and a bottom half, and turning the lock generates new pairs, each of which must be repicked. Thus these locks have the advantage of being very tedious to pick using conventional methods.

        They also have the advantage of being invulnerable to another popular method of defeating conventional locks: hammering in a flat-blade screwdriver and twisting like hell.

        I

  • by zeno_2 ( 518291 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:25PM (#10288690)
    I always thought that a bic pen should be on that list =)
  • by davmoo ( 63521 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:28PM (#10288701)
    While this is certainly something that lock manufacturers need to deal with, everyone needs to also keep one simple idea in mind.

    The purpose of a lock is to keep honest and semi-honest people from taking your stuff. If someone is damned and determined to take your bike, he's going to get it, regardless of what lock you use.

    I also have to nod in agreement with an earlier poster who pointed out that for the price of a fancy lock, you can get a bike that no one wants to steal. This is a perfect example of why my everyday driver car is an old beater that no one in their right mind would want to steal. If you're going to drive fancy stuff, then you have to accept that you are going to be a target.
    • by theLOUDroom ( 556455 ) on Sunday September 19, 2004 @10:50AM (#10290875)
      WTF PEOPLE!!
      This isn't a "known caveat", this is gross neglience on the part of a manufacturer.


      While this is certainly something that lock manufacturers need to deal with, everyone needs to also keep one simple idea in mind.
      The purpose of a lock is to keep honest and semi-honest people from taking your stuff. If someone is damned and determined to take your bike, he's going to get it, regardless of what lock you use.


      People like you are totally missing the point. This is like an airbag company making airbags that don't work 90% of the time! Sure it's a better idea never to get in an accident, but that's not the frickin point.

      The point is kryptonite's locks are billed as "highly secure". They are not. This has been known in select circles (and kryptonite was informed) since at least 1992, yet the manufacturer has done nothing with that information to fix the problem.

      I also have to nod in agreement with an earlier poster who pointed out that for the price of a fancy lock, you can get a bike that no one wants to steal.

      This is total nonsense. Increbile POS bikes get stolen all the time, see my post about my friend's bike.
  • by rsletten ( 98901 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:35PM (#10288745)
    Quick! Sue BIC under the DMCA as a device that can defeat a security lock
  • Warranty (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Comatose51 ( 687974 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:39PM (#10288763) Homepage
    I remember Kryptonite locks have a manufacturer's guarantee against thief. Is this covered? If someone's bike gets stolen, would they replacec it still?
  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:52PM (#10288837)

    The solution to the problem, THAT is the issue. Let's gather around and think of what the big organizations/individuals would do to solve a problem such as this.

    US goverment: Liberate bike from thief using a squadron of B2 bombers. At one point or another, several brits die, even if Rhumself has to find them and kill them himself. Bic pens linked to Al-Qaida.
    Australian goverment: Send in Steve Irwin. If he gets killed, it's a good thing. If catches the thief, it's a better thing.
    Brittish goverment: Sod the thief, fancy a scone, dear chap?
    United Nations: Convene in an emergency session, go into recess after 10 minutes for cookies and tea. In the end, they condemn the theft but none of them manages to do fuck all.
    European Union: The French and the Brits start bitching at eachother about which country has superior Bic pens. Germany and Spain wonder since when the damn Brits are part of Europe. The rest of Europe tried to talk tough before getting bitchslapped into submission by Germany and France.

    RIAA: Claim that people who open locks use it to fund terrorism. Randomly sue locksmiths.
    Microsoft: Vehemently deny existence of faulty locks. Release hotfix for existing locks, which consists of pouring glue in keyhole.
    SCO: Sue Bic, 3M, Canada, a random seagull and the tooth fairy for copyright infringement on their proprietary way of opening locks with ballpoints.

    Richard Stallman: Proudly proclaim the bike simply wanted to be free.
    Eric S Raymond: Something irrelevant that contains a plug for "The Cathedral and the Bazaar".
    Larry Wall: Make all locks so confusing that thieves don't know how to open them. Nor do the owners. Or manufacturers, for that matter.
    George Lucas: Make a movie about bikes being stolen with Bic pens. Milk this movie out until 2050.
    Bruce Willis: Get a bunch of oil drillers to find the thief and shove a nuke up his ass. And for the love of Eris, someone PLEASE screw Liv Tyler!

  • Simple solution... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by emag ( 4640 ) <slashdot@gur s k i . o rg> on Saturday September 18, 2004 @10:54PM (#10288845) Homepage
    Pass a law declaring Bic pens to be "burglary tools", which can only be carried by "licensed professionals", and arrest anyone found in possession of one without a license. It works so well for lock pick kits...
  • by infonography ( 566403 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @11:00PM (#10288875) Homepage
    Still the best way to beat a U-lock. Aside from a lock with insurance and good documentation there isn't final protection. This as been true since the 80's.
  • by hng_rval ( 631871 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @11:00PM (#10288879)
    From TFA (Boston.com) [boston.com]:
    "This is an extremely big deal. Kryptonite is the Microsoft of locks," said Brown, who estimates hundreds of thousands of the U-locks have been sold over the years. Kryptonite will not divulge sales numbers.

    Well, they certainly are more like Microsoft now. Good for them :)
  • Cost/benefit (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Viadd ( 173388 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @11:01PM (#10288888)
    It is easy to design locks, even tumbler-mechanism mechanical locks, that are unpickable by the standard manipulation techniques.

    It is even possible to build these 'unpickable' locks for a small multiple what a standard lock of the same mechanical quality would cost.

    You can make it difficult enough that burning or drilling the core, or taking a fire-ax to the door, is much more feasible than any manipulation technique. When the locking mechanism is no longer the weakest link, then it no longer makes sense to spend more on an improved lock.

    But jeez, a bic pen and 5 seconds...

  • Almost (Score:3, Informative)

    by TitusC3v5 ( 608284 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @11:10PM (#10288930) Homepage
    Not quite a dupe, but close. Kensington Locks [slashdot.org] were found to have the same problem last month.
  • For those in the UK (Score:3, Informative)

    by PhatAir ( 468678 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @11:11PM (#10288931) Homepage
    caveat - IANAL, but I'm reasonably clued up on consumer law

    In the UK, the 1979 Sale of Goods Act says that items must be of 'Fit for Purpose' & 'Of Merchantable Quality' (ie it does what it's meant to without breaking). Your contract is with the shop not the end manufacturer, so you are entitled to walk into wherever you purchased it and demand a replacement or your money back. You needn't get fobbed off with claims such as 'take it up with the manufacturer' as your contract's with the shop. Kryponite can't even put a time limit on it as a lock that's opened using a biro's clearly not 'Fit for Purpose'. Any shop that doesn't comply can be reported to the trading standards authority who take a very dim view of people not complying to said act!
  • For once, the Slashdot Effect could be used for good instead of evil! Yeah, once in a while a poor sap's DSL-served Windows box is reduced to molten slag because it was serving the homepage that got linked in a Slashdot story. But tonight, if the server with these instructions falls to the mighty Slashdot Effect, think of all the bikes that WON'T be stolen! Think of all the money that'll be saved by wiping these directions off the Internet for good and all!*

    So keep on reloading, Slashdotters! Hundreds, nay - Thousands! - of cyclists' dreams are in your hands!

    * Yeah, I know there are mirrors and the Google cache. Yeah, this is a joke.

  • by Holi ( 250190 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @11:20PM (#10288969)
    This was discussed earlier in this article [slashdot.org].
  • by iamatlas ( 597477 ) on Saturday September 18, 2004 @11:21PM (#10288981) Homepage
    In related news, Kryptonite has also come under fire from critics for killing Superman.
  • by EvilStein ( 414640 ) <spam@NOSPAM.pbp.net> on Sunday September 19, 2004 @01:14AM (#10289319) Homepage
    I just leave a big hungry Rottweiler with an attitude problem tied to my bike. It's great because nobody will steal the bike, and when I need that extra boost going up the hills, I yell "Chopper, sic balls!" and point at someone up the street.

  • by Rank_Tyro ( 721935 ) <.ranktyro11. .at. .gmail.com.> on Sunday September 19, 2004 @01:20AM (#10289338) Journal
    When stationed at Kunsan AB korea, circa 1993, the only transportation option open to enlisted people was a bicycle. You could buy one at the base BX for about $100 bucks. For an additional $4.oo dollars, you could buy a chain with a built in combination lock. The biggest problem with the entire system was this.......EVERYONE had the same model bike, and the same chain/lock. You could literally spend a half hour trying to find the bike and chain that belonged to you. This was quite a problem for some of us, untill we learned that with a bit of tension on the lock, and a bit of manual dexterity, you could open any of the locks in about 45 seconds. After that, we all adopted the idea that those of us that had purchased a bike, but couldnt find it anymore, could just go ahead and ride what ever bike was handy. After all, EVERYONE had the same bike and lock, so really...........all bikes were secretly the one you bought. Therefore, if you were able to pick the lock, you were entitled to ride the bike. This Utopia breaks down when you consider that in most cities, not everyone buys the same bike and lock. Therefore, it is incumbent on the government to provide everyone with a bike, thus insuring that there is no need for anyone to steal a bike. I will be putting this idea to my senator soon.....hopefully everyone will have a new bicycle in time for the novemeber elections

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. -- Oscar Wilde

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