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A How-Not-To Guide to Cyber-Extortion 311

TexasDex writes "The Register reports: Myron Tereshchuk, 42, of Maryland, pleaded guilty to "attempted extortion affecting commerce" for sending threatening messages to a competing patent firm, including a demand for $17 million in exchange for not revealing sensitive information. He was clever in hiding his tracks, the messages came from two different homes and a dentist's office, all of which turned out to be running unsecured WAPs. He also avoided a web bug sent by the firm, and managed to penetrate the company's computer system. But he made a few mistakes. First of all he was already a prime suspect due to "past altercations between Tereshchuk and the company". But "the clearest sign came when he issued the $17m extortion demand, and instructed the company to 'make the check payable to Myron Tereshchuk.'""
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A How-Not-To Guide to Cyber-Extortion

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  • by Space cowboy ( 13680 ) * on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:33AM (#9542980) Journal

    There's a TV show broadcast over here in the UK (on some of the cable channels) "America's Dumbest Criminals" - guess this guy'll be on soon enough. I have to admit I thought a lot of the stories were made up, but if people are going to sign their REAL NAME to an extortion demand, sheesh, perhaps people *can* be that stupid.

    Well, on the up-side, it at least frees the cops' time up so they can catch criminals with at least 1 brain cell. Let's hope the feedback loop stays negative...

    • by Pharmboy ( 216950 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:40AM (#9543052) Journal
      This reminds me of two other cases:

      The guy who robs the bank but drops his wallet (with ID inside)

      The guy who writes a bank robbery note on the back of his own checking account deposit slip.

      And yes, both are true stories. Its probably a Good Thing(tm) that most criminals are incredibly stupid.
      • by betelgeuse-4 ( 745816 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:45AM (#9543093) Homepage Journal
        There's always the guy who robbed a Post Office wearing a motorbike helmet with a black visor. Unfortunately for him it failed to hide his identity because his name was written across the forehead.
        • by Pharmboy ( 216950 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:54AM (#9543183) Journal
          and the guy who rubbed fresh lemons on his face before robbing a bank because someone told him that if you did that, the cameras could not pick up your image. True story according to "news of the weird", a syndicated feature found in many independent newspapers here in the US. They have stories like this all the time.

          News of the Weird [newsoftheweird.com] can be found here. Its a very good weekly read that has tons of these exact type of stories.
            • and the guy who rubbed fresh lemons on his face before robbing a bank because someone told him that if you did that, the cameras could not pick up your image. True story according to "news of the weird", a syndicated feature found in many independent newspapers here in the US. They have stories like this all the time.

            Hey, that really works. I've robbed a bank last friday and no cops here yet.

            ... Wait a second, there's somebody knocking my door...

        • That would make it easier to give him a transfusion after the shoot-out.
      • by ornil ( 33732 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:52AM (#9543166)
        Well, there's a pretty extensive web column with a few new cases each week, called Dumb Crooks [dumbcrooks.com]. Those cases you mention are there, plus hundreds of others. Pretty amusing read.
      • by Zorilla ( 791636 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:53AM (#9543168)
        What about the guy who robbed the convenience store and the clerk lady says, "I don't think you look old enough to be robbing a store, young man. I need to see some identification."

        So the guy pulls out his driver's license and shows it to her. Haha.
      • by aepervius ( 535155 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:54AM (#9543180)
        But as the stupid one are caught you are left with the intelligent mastermind, which will enjoy their million extorqued. "Darwnism", if I may use the analogy at its best.
      • by brunes69 ( 86786 ) <slashdot.keirstead@org> on Sunday June 27, 2004 @12:23PM (#9543433) Homepage
        Only the dumb criminals get caught. The authorities don't even know the smart criminals are committing crimes, let alone catching them.

      • by TheLink ( 130905 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @12:23PM (#9543448) Journal
        Try this Darwin Award nominee [darwinawards.com].

        Wrong time, wrong place, wrong everything...
      • A few years ago I heard about a guy who robbed a bank in Florida. He forgot to bring a backpack or anything, so to avoid suspicion he put the sack with the money in it down the front of his pants. (Did you recently rob a bank, or are you just happy to see me?).

        He got about 2 blocks before the dyepack exploded, covering his ummm naughty bits with stinging purple ink (they put an irritant in it). When the police heard the report of a man standing in a public fountain washing his blue balls they knew they
      • by chiph ( 523845 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @03:51PM (#9545125)
        One more...

        I was doing some contract work for First Tennessee a few years ago when someone robbed one of their rural branches. Redneck thief walks in, announces he has a bomb, demands money. They give him money, he lights the fuse on the bomb and tosses it over the counter. Luckily, all it did was burn a hole in the carpet, but the tellers were pretty shook up.

        When the crook gets back to his house (probably a trailer, never heard one way or the other), the sheriff's department is already there and waiting for him. It seems he had been growing marijuana in the back yard, and they were there to burn his pot patch and arrest him on dope charges. The bank robbery was just a nice bonus for them.

        Chip H.
      • by paulm ( 37073 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @04:58PM (#9545603)
        It's not just a good thing, its the only way.

        Society strives to create an environment whereby you will be better off by putting energies into playing the game and getting ahead.

        As the process continues, those who are doing well
        will make laws to allow them to continue to do well, thus further fostering the environment.

        People too far below the average intelligence can't make it far enough down the path set before them, and so turn to crime, and are caught.

        This works fine until those at the top start to use infuence to prevent their competitors, and hence those behind them from getting ahead. This turns into a class system and accelerates until revolution and then socialism.

        This in turn leads to loss of competition, and then a continued slowing of progress. Smaller factions break off and start to create their own internal competition, and more capitalist leanings , and then the whole process starts over again.

        wait, what was I talking about?

    • There's a TV show broadcast over here in the UK (on some of the cable channels) "America's Dumbest Criminals" - guess this guy'll be on soon enough. I have to admit I thought a lot of the stories were made up, but if people are going to sign their REAL NAME to an extortion demand, sheesh, perhaps people *can* be that stupid.

      Actually it is not that uncommon. One of the most common mistakes bank robbers make is to write down the demands on the backs of their deposit slips....
  • by Amiga Lover ( 708890 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:35AM (#9543002)
    the clearest sign came when he issued the $17m extortion demand, and instructed the company to 'make the check payable to Myron Tereshchuk.

    Almost as smart as this guy [wftv.com] - "A man who walked into a Wal-Mart covered in blood and bought garbage bags Friday was charged with murder after authorities found a stabbed body in a trash bin."

    Planning people, planning!
  • by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:36AM (#9543008)
    with various posts about CowboyNeal unless /. writes a check, payable to Rob Malda, for $1 million.
  • by eln ( 21727 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:36AM (#9543012)
    To eliminate himself from suspicion, he should have told them to make the check out to "anybody but Myron Tereshchuk". They would then have everyone in the world BUT him as potential suspects! Brilliant!
    • This guy doesn't sound much better in a pinch than Peter Griffin:

      Psych ward clerk: "What's your name, sir?"
      Peter: "Umm.....Pee.....ter.............Griffin.....damn! "

      Bonus Simpsons quote:
      Homer at Post Office (trying to disguise voice): "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me"
      Post Office employee: "Ok, what's your first name?"
      Homer (smugly): "I don't know!
    • by Jonathan Quince ( 737041 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @12:41PM (#9543631) Homepage
      To eliminate himself from suspicion, he should have told them to make the check out to "anybody but Myron Tereshchuk".

      pffft. Amateur.

      Everybody knows that only an idiot would ask for the check out to himself; so he could use that as an alibi, since nobody would believe that it was him.

      Of course, a truly smart criminal would know that a smart investigator would realize that most people know that you shouldn't ask for the check to be written out to your own real name; so he should not have the check written to his own name. But naturally, a well-trained detective would recommend that possibility and immediately discount the possiblity that the name he demanded to be written on the check was his own name; so he should have used his own name.

      But the company he was blackmailing was located in Connecticut, which is kind of like a miniature Australia; and everybody knows that Australia is populated by criminals...

      (Ow, I think my head hurts now.)

  • They never get caught.
    • I thought the smart criminals became successful politicians. They may not get caught, but unfortunately I hear about 'em all the time.

    • You mean like the guys at Enron who thought that they were so smart that they could write their own rules and would never get caught?
  • by Shoeler ( 180797 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:40AM (#9543043)
    "At one point, the company president tried to use a "Web bug" to trace his cyber tormenter, but Tereshchuk detected the ruse."

    Uhh - sounds like they tried to install some kind of activex microblaster-enabled spyware bug?? Maybe he was using Mozilla [mozilla.org] or something less spyware-enabled? ^_^

    Still not a bad hack attempt - smart to use others unsecured wireless connections. I'll bet we hear about more of these types of intrusions in the future (if the media prints it).
    • by krumms ( 613921 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:49AM (#9543122) Journal
      Uhh - sounds like they tried to install some kind of activex microblaster-enabled spyware bug??

      Chances are it was just a GIF/JPEG image embedded in an e-mail. Your e-mail client downloads the image from a web server to display it and whammo - they have your IP address.
      • Exactly the same thing that struck me when I read that

        But a smart extortionist would be browsing the net with links/lynx or opera with images turned off

        but this guy doesn't seem to be a techie stupid; only a non-digital-real-world stupid

        (Stolen sig : The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.)

    • by Aardpig ( 622459 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:50AM (#9543132)

      Uhh - sounds like they tried to install some kind of activex microblaster-enabled spyware bug??

      Web bugs work on all web browsers, unless you have image loading disabled. Read about them here [eff.org], and repeat after me: "I will not be a mindless fanboy. I will not be a mindless fanboy.".

    • smart to use others unsecured wireless connections

      I was recently in an office building in Dallas where I found 7 unsecured wireless connections. Each company had taken the time to change the SSID to match the name of their company, but it seems that encryption was something they didn't want to be bothered with.

      I bounced around until I found the one with the fastest internet connection and proceeded to read /. while waiting for my client to arrive.
  • by Ubergrendle ( 531719 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:40AM (#9543050) Journal
    You can make your threats as vauge or specific as you want... you can be ~very~ anonymous given the tools available today (mail, internet, courier, payphone, stolen cellphones).

    However, at one point, sooner or later, you need to pickup the cheque or cash. Wire transfers can be traced, as can direct deposits. If there's a cash-only transaction, the cash can be marked and the police can watch the drop point.
    • by foidulus ( 743482 ) * on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:45AM (#9543089)
      If everything happens inside the US, you are right, but you can successfully send money to less than scrupulous parties in certain nations...
      I haven't done it myself, but I've read about it being done(not to mention there have been successful Nigerian 419ers).
      That being said, after 9/11 it is getting harder, but not impossible, to make fradulent wire transfers.
    • by iabervon ( 1971 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:56AM (#9543194) Homepage Journal
      If an extortion victem is willing to go to the cops, it's already not going to work very well. If catching you is worth the information getting out, then you don't have sufficiently valuable information.
    • Probem is that you never hear of those cases, as the people paying dont want to risk the press release.
    • Yes, this is why extortion never works, because the extorter never figures out an anonymous way of having money transferred.

      But, if the extorter is trying to achieve a behavioural response, such as a political concession, extortion can be higly effective. I guess, though, we refer to in these instances as 'blackmail' rather than 'extortion'.
    • by GuyFawkes ( 729054 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @12:10PM (#9543307) Homepage Journal

      There is an old method that does work and is used for extortion and other purposes...

      1/ create bank / building society account in ficticious name with false documents and genuine 500 cash deposit. Make sure account comes with an ATM card.

      2/ wait one year while doing the minimum to keep the account active. Do not go near the maildrop you used, but do make sure it is paid up.

      3/ Do extortion thing, instruct victim in the following manner...
      a/ pay 100,000 into account number xxxx at bank xxx
      b/ notify the police if you wish, but be advised that should the account be suspended or frozen in ANY way WHATSOEVER you will simply and without further warning do whatever it was you threatened (eg put HIV+ blood in baby food which was most recent case here that comes to mind) and walk away from the whole deal.

      4/ withdraw the money from randomly selected ATM machines over the next year or three, just scout them out first to make sure they aren't covered by security cameras (if they are wear a full face crash helmet) and make sure you have a concealed carry for the card itself, don't wanna get caught with that six months later....

      You guys ought to get out more, I'm really surprised that in a diverse forum like this nobody knows about this one...
      • Sounds to me like you'd like reading books about a professional criminal named Parker. By Richard Stark (pseudonym of Donald E. Westlake).

        Some titles: "Comeback," and "The Outfit." Mostly written in the late 60's, early 70's, and hard to find.

      • It makes sense except for this:
        Why is it necessary to wait for one year?
      • I feel compelled to point out that all ATMs are covered by security cameras. Duh. They're built into the ATM. And that pretty much automatically removes drive up ATMs...while you can drive up wearing a helmet, they'll get your car. Some of them have a wide enough angle to get your license plate.

        However, yes, any method of payment where you can pick it up from multiple points is much better than a single point of capture. ATMs are very good because there are literally hundreds of them to choose from.

        Just d

      • by iamacat ( 583406 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @01:00PM (#9543815)
        Hmmm, HIV is not transmitted by eating and doesn't survive long outside human body. Put botulism in baby food, and we are talking. Besides, companies don't care what you do with the rest of the world. You will get more of a response if you threaten to release some internal memos saying there is no SCO source in Linux.
      • I could be wrong, but can't they program the ATM to treat the account as "stolen" and just eat your ATM card?

      • Better yet, encode your own generic magstripe cards. Dispose of them after single use. They would be blank, wouldn't look like ATM cards, and the relevant numbers aren't printed on the card. Make sure not to leave a fingerprint on the card, and drop it right in front of the ATM machine.

        This minimizes the "caught with it on you" aspect.
      • How difficult would it be to hack into bank computers, creating a bank account, have the money transferred, disable the software bug temporarily, divert that money to other accounts that you create on-the-fly? There's a small window of opportunity where that new accounts are not yet bugged. Withdraw money. Then never log back into their servers! Oh, of course, don't do this from your own phone... :)

        If you're that good a cracker, you won't have to use plain old extortion though...

  • by John Jorsett ( 171560 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:41AM (#9543058)
    If someone's a REAL master criminal, then he doesn't get caught and you never hear about him. Therefore, the only criminals you hear about are the dumb ones who get caught. Or at least that's my theory. Seems worthy of a $100 million research grant. (And there you have my template for becoming a master criminal. Enjoy.)
    • The dumb one steal small amounts for cash registers and banks. Easy to get caught, lots of interaction with victims. Tough sentences.

      The smart ones steal huge amounts from share-holders (a la Martha), consumers (various price-fixing schemes), tax-payers (Enron extorting money from CA), and others. They don't often get caught, they make huge amounts of money, the sentences are light, and as Ed Norton says in Fight Club; if someone dies (Ford roll-overs, etc), that's ok as long as the cost of settlements is
  • by smchris ( 464899 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:48AM (#9543112)

    Yup, the drop is always the hard part, isn't it?

    And thank goodness. We'll always have action movies.
  • Ricin? (Score:2, Interesting)

    One must have an impressive grudge to consider using RICIN (which happens to be my favorite poison)
  • We should try the same scheme, but tell them to make the check payable to Darl McBride or Bill Gates.
  • by Chatmag ( 646500 ) <editor@chatmag.com> on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:55AM (#9543192) Homepage Journal
    You can't stay anonymous forever on the Internet. There are too many methods available to trace a person back to the source. Subpoenaing server logs or ISP client records is a good start.

    Writing hold up notes on one of your own return address formatted envelopes is not a good way to go about it either. Or in his case demanding a check in his own name. Cracks me up when I see people make fundamental mistakes like that.
    • If that were true, the recent anti-spam laws would actually be enforceable.
      Numerous methods remain to make you too hard to track.
      You can be using a vast army of windows zombies as as proxies (one of the many windows users whose machine was taken over in this fashion successfully defended himself against a child porn charge that way). Any machine where you can wipe the logs is a good place to have the trail go cold.
      You can use public libraries, and other public internet locations. Unsecured WAPs work too.
    • You can't stay anonymous forever on the Internet. There are too many methods available to trace a person back to the source. Subpoenaing server logs or ISP client records is a good start.

      An honest question: where would they go from there when they found out he was using random open wireless networks? That gotta be pretty tough to track down...
    • by awol ( 98751 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @12:25PM (#9543477) Journal

      You can't stay anonymous forever on the Internet. There are too many methods available to trace a person back to the source. Subpoenaing server logs or ISP client records is a good start.

      On the contrary. It is actually quite easy to generate a _completely_ untraceable email address. If one proceeds to use it from different (and carefully chosen) internet cafes and insecure wifi points you could conduct a series of correspondences without any chance of them tracing you. I shan't go into the details here but there are a number of web pages that describe the process. I believe "The Register" linked to such an article about 18 months ago.

    • Who modded this up as insightful? Of course you can stay anonymous forever on the internet. This guy didn't get caught via the internet, he gave out his own name! If he hadn't done that they very well might never have caught him. Besides that, his point wasn't to stay anonymous, it was to extort a company through technology without being caught. If you want to stay anonymous on the internet, there are a ton of ways to do so, some legal, some not. My point is you can stay as anonymous asyou like. How is sub
  • by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 27, 2004 @11:59AM (#9543231)
    Uh, shouldn't that be Moron Tereshchuk?
  • How can someone be 'smart' to get that far, and then use their name. It defies all logic known to man. Perhaps idiots are needed in the world afterall for our entertainment.
  • ... seems to be Darwin Awards [darwinawards.com] material.
  • by originalhack ( 142366 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @12:14PM (#9543341)
    Looks like a plea agreement. read it and weep^h^h^h^hlaugh here [usdoj.gov](pdf).
    • Actually, I would not say that it is funny, but interesting. There is a lot of comments about how the company he was extorting was in corruption with the USPTO. I would not doubt this either. The sole purpose of this company was intellectual property. In the world of IP, it is much easier to make money from basically nothing. You take the work of others, and make it illegal for any one else to use it. The problem is, you need some good lawyers and some connections in the USPTO to guarantee that you receive the patents soon enough and that they go through. Now, you can argua about IP and the function it is supposed to serve, but it is what is happening in reality that I am concerned about. IP is not about progress, rarely is the case. It is about keeping control over a particular industry/technology/company/etc. It appears that this criminal was in the know of the problems, but was unfortunately a complete idiot and when it came down to it, acted foolishly. Even all the comments on slashdot are about "darwin" this "dumb criminal" that. For a bunch of geeks, it makes me sad to hear that most of you fail to look deeper into this. Go ahead, make your jokes. Laugh at the foolish criminal that has the same immoral thoughts as the company he went after. He went for the money, not the right thing to do. If he really did have information that would have exposed the company to ties with the USPTO, it would give more firepower to changing the patent system or even eliminating it and replacing it with something that would work more in helping progress science. Now, I don't know what is true or not, and these all could be lies, but I don't ignore it as absurd simply because it was a foolish criminal that said it. Making a fool out of a someone that is an enemy will tend to help you escape some of those ugly comments they made. Then again, I could have misread, I did read through only some of it really quick anyway. I recommend people read this, not any foolish remarks on a foolish person. This is slashdot, not Criminal Minds R' Us. I'll read it later, will you?
  • Stupid! You're so STUUUPID!

    Next up on Wheel of Fish....
  • Evidence? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Zone-MR ( 631588 ) * <slashdotNO@SPAMzone-mr.net> on Sunday June 27, 2004 @12:42PM (#9543647) Homepage
    Does requesting that the check is written out to his name immediatly prove that he is the culprit?

    If so it would be worryingly easy to frame someone.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    he must have been reading from SCOs manuals on how to extort people....
  • Are stupid. The smart ones are the ones you have never heard of. From several cops I know: most crooks talk themselves into jail. Their ego demands they brag about their "accomplishment" to someone and the word gets out.
  • by www.sorehands.com ( 142825 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @01:50PM (#9544248) Homepage
    The guy who tried to carjack a van with judo students in it. He got 11 years. [cnn.com]

    here [jiu-jitsu.net] .

  • by nasor ( 690345 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @01:57PM (#9544308)
    Break into the company's computers, steal some data. Break into the victim's computer, plant the data in some out-of-the-way subdirectory where he's unlikely to look. Start extorting the company, then at some point offer up the identity of your victim as your own. It seems like this would be pretty easy, especially when you consider how easy it is to take a computer over with trojans and worms now days. If you set the trojan to automatically erase most of itself after you planted the files, I doubt anyone would listen when the victim started claiming that he didn't know how the files got there.

    This is an example of the sort of societal problems that come from widespread security vulnerabilities in computers. Windows is so easy to take over now that we can't really be sure of the origin of ANYTHING that we find on someone's comp. It's getting to the point where when authorities find something illegal (like say child porn) on a computer and the owner claims that he didn't put it there, there's really no way to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he isn't telling the truth. How hard would it be to write a worm/trojan that causes a computer to automatically download some illegal material, send an email 'tip' to the authorities via some anonymous remailer, and then erase most of the trojan? Can we really ever be sure 'beyond a reasonable doubt' that anyone is responsible for what's on their computers any more? What's to stop a criminal from installing a trojan on his own computer and then claiming (quite reasonably) that someone took over his computer and put the material there?

    I really don't want this to turn into a anti-microsoft rant, but Windows vulnerabilities have basically reduced computers to the status of a big unlocked plastic bin that's sitting by the curb in front of everyone's house. If you find something illegal in it then yes, the guy who owns the bin looks pretty suspicious, but who's to say the neighbor didn't put it there? Or some random person who noticed the bin while driving by and decided to stop and place something inside? These security flaws have simultaneously taken away people's accountability for what's on their computers, and made it really easy to frame innocent people for major crimes.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 27, 2004 @02:52PM (#9544718)
    Although I cannot condone what this gentleman did. I do feel kind of bad that he didn't get the money from this firm. Having worked for this patent firm "Micropatent", I've found that it is completely full of criminals, or at the very least, "Higly immoral people." The company has a large group of non-citizens who depend on their employment there to remain residents in the US. A few employee's whom I've talked to have been forced to move across the country and take a pay cut just to stay in america. They know this and exploit it. Additionally, their CIO has had a history of bad IT practices, utilizing minimal or often times no security to protect their own IP data as well as customer data. The biggest incident at this company was what the UNIX team found to be a 'staged break-in' which was allegedly staged by the CIO, Director of operations, Director of Development, A contracting senior developer, and the IT manager. During this breakin, mass amounts of data was exported off the servers, and the admin team was not allowed to track the data. Later investigation lead to considerable evidence including file timestamps, transfer logs, su logs, which overwhelmingly suggested that this was an inside job. This was brought to the attention to the VP of finance, as there was a LOT of money flying out the door that shouldn't have, and previous discussions were had with this VP. Eventually, the CIO and director of operations found out that the admin team were keen to these happenings and begin to harass the entire team. The whole team brough harassment charges up to the Human Resources Director, who suggested that the management in Micropatent were found guilty. However the day before her report was due to come out, all but one member of the team were fired. Incidentally, the VP of finance and HUMAN RESOURCES were fired as well.

    After all the harassment and insane goings on, it is common to want to seek some sort of revenge, however people need to realize that it is just not worth it and then move on. That's what I had to do. Funny part is this guy never even worked there...

    With any luck, someday the feds will set their sites on Micropatent and they'll get what they deserve...
  • by PsiPsiStar ( 95676 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @03:54PM (#9545165)
    So what's the best way to demand an extortion payment? The new $20 bills have RFID tags in them, so you can't get 'unmarked bills.' Do you ask for gold coins? Or will the cops stake out the location of the drop? Payments to a swiss escrow account, perhaps? There has to be a more creative way...
  • my cousin (Score:3, Funny)

    by ReidMaynard ( 161608 ) on Sunday June 27, 2004 @04:27PM (#9545393) Homepage
    my cousin is a stupid criminal. He was arrested as the driver in a get away car [armed robery, Las Vegas] He tried to tell the Judge, "Hey, I was just hitchhiking and these guys picked me up."

    I am consouled by the fact we were both adopted, from different families.

    he gets out in Spring of 2006 and wants to move near me

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done. -- James J. Ling