Some Geek Guides for Dating 664
An anonymous reader sends in this: "In honor of upcoming V-day, here are some geek guides for help in finding your geeky match: Guy's Guide to Geek Girls,
Girl's Guide to Geek Guys, advice from a she-geek, Engineer Your Love Life and Bart's Dating Guide for Geeks.
And for those of you who are absolutely hopeless, well, there is always Coincidence Designs... It's not too late, so good luck!" Another reader has some good news: "An article in Discover magazine reports on research done by scientists at the University of Toronto about how males attract mates. The cited article claims that when males are young, the show offs are actually the ones who are least likely to succeed later on. This causes a "revenge of the nerds effect:" the football players burn out but the nerds become sexy!" And if all else fails, you can try a Valentine's Day Form Letter.
Girl's Guide to Geek Guys link is broken (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Girl's Guide to Geek Guys link is broken (Score:5, Funny)
Back to dreaming
Girl's Guide Different Version Link (Score:5, Informative)
Greek Guide To Dating (Score:3, Funny)
I was hoping to read about wooing her with olive oil, feta cheese, some lamb, wine, and then settling down for a night of... um... back door action.
Geek guide to dating? Couldn't be as much fun.
Re:www.fastseduction.com (Score:5, Informative)
Also, it means you have to actually be prepared to go and talk to women you've never met, out of the blue. That scares a lot of men off.
If you want a long, drawn-out romantic relationship with a women where you might get a whiff of her snatch after 6 months of present-buying and supplication, or you want to stand about and hope a woman seduces you every few years or so (i.e. you get 'lucky' ever so often), or you want to die a sad loser who was too scared to take control of his own life, then there's nothing for you here.
However, if you want to turn yourself from a shag-less loser into someone who can shag any woman, anywhere. (And before someone comes in to say that you'll only be able to get sluts, that's bullshit. Any woman can be seduced by these methods, intelligent, decent, attractive women. All women like sex, all women like being seduced.)
If you're a complete seduction newbie, I'd recomment reading this: http://fastseduction.com/guide/ [fastseduction.com]. It tells you the basics of getting laid, including the following main ideas:
Of course, most of this is just basic common sense and psychology, but this site puts it into words. The hardest parts are a) Having the balls, b) Shattering your illusions.
So instead of sitting behind your computer whining on a Friday night, go out. Approach a hundred women, get rejected a hundred times, and enjoy it. Go back and do it the next night. Don't be the loser who stands in the corner all shy, hoping a woman will come to him. Be the man who goes and talks to the women, who seduces them. Be the man who has whichever women he wants lying naked on his bed. It's not too late, you CAN change. Do it.
Who needs this? (Score:5, Funny)
PC Hardware
:)~
Re:Who needs this? (Score:5, Funny)
You'll have much more fun with Politically Incorrect Hardware.
Trust me.
Re:Who needs this? (Score:5, Funny)
And in the long run, they're cheaper than an engagement ring, wedding and kids.
AND they will never tell you that you can't buy that Harley Davidson you've always wanted.
We can only hope (Score:5, Funny)
There's always hope! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:There's always hope! (Score:5, Funny)
<Moe Voice>
"Aaahhhh! The Sun! It burns, it burns!"
</Moe Voice>
Re:There's always hope! (Score:5, Funny)
"Aaahhhh! The Sun! It burns, it burns!"
</Moe Voice>
<Gollum Voice>
I will stay here, and the Yellow Face won't see me.
</Gollum Voice>
Re:We can only hope (Score:2)
Re:We can only hope (Score:5, Funny)
What about tomorrows duplicate of it?
Re:We can only hope (Score:3, Interesting)
As a woman, I have to say that I think that there is nothing worse than an intelligent woman who thinks that she needs to act dumb to snag a guy (and that is why they do it). I would have to say that if a guy was scared off because I am intelligent, then that guy isn't worth it. I'm not going to act like I'm dumb or pretend to be something I'm not just to snag some guy.
I remember back when my parents took my older brother to college, my mom met the mother of a girl who, like my brother, was in the honors program. The girl's mother started telling my mom about how her daughter was really smart, but didn't want to act too smart because she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to find a husband if she acted smart. Yeah, that's just what you want to tell the mother of a male student. You can imagine what my mom told my brother after her conversation with that girl's mother.
Ryn, the female computer science major who refuses to act like a ditz (well, I don't make any promises when I'm short on sleep and have OD'd on caffeine and sugar)
Games for your Valentine (Score:5, Informative)
http://www.gametab.com/features/valentines.1/
To coin a phrase... (Score:5, Funny)
Bad enough it's Valentine's day (Score:5, Funny)
oh, wait, that's the other holiday.
Re:Bad enough it's Valentine's day (Score:5, Funny)
Toys have been the answer, to counter loneliness, and man, I've got a _lot_ of toys. It's just these days (valentines, sweetest, Christmas) come along and put me into a funk. I'll be back to the usual with my toys in a couple days.
Just don't try to get it drunk and make out with it.
Unfortunately, I can't have alcohol for a few months yet, must .. cope .. without.
Geek Guide to Dating (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Geek Guide to Dating (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Geek Guide to Dating (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Geek Guide to Dating (Score:5, Funny)
A true geek would hack into their satelite provider for free Spice...
Oh wait...
Re:Geek Guide to Dating (Score:5, Funny)
Spice channel? You mean, like pay for pr0n? You're new to this "geek" thing, aren't you?
Recommended beer: "Arrogant Bastard Ale" [arrogantbastard.com].
Recommended pr0n that's worth paying for: "Trinity and Beyond: The Atomic Bomb Movie" [vce.com]
Nothin' says lovin' like a 12-pack of Arrogant Bastard, a subwoofer vibrating the chair, and an entire room glowing a spooky shade of reddish-orange as the bombs go off.
(The only thing redder than the fireball from the explosion was the redshift of my last date's ass as she receded at z=5.9 :)
Re:Geek Guide to Dating (Score:3, Informative)
Google cache of the Girl's Guide to Geek guys (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Google cache of the Girl's Guide to Geek guys (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, like a girl's guide to geek guys is going to get slashdotted.
Re:Google cache of the Girl's Guide to Geek guys (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm a geek. I'll happily admit it. I have a degree in CS with a math minor, I do software development for a living, I've got a lot of karma, and I know how to view slashdot from my mobile phone.
1. Where to find geeks: "discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates impressions" Impressions? Bzzt. Try the bookstore, the person with the laptop at the park, the mall (arcade, or elsewhere. Geeks wear clothes too).
2. "If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or keeping a geek dude." At this point, they are just propogating stereotypes. I've watched Star Trek in my day, but not to extremes, and most of my geek friends aren't extremely into it either. Regardless, we aren't so closed-minded that being a ST:TNG fanatic is on our list of requirements of a women.
3. "Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and think and aren't all that into cooking for themselves." This is probably the first true thing for the most part, but remember, cooking is a whole other kind of geekiness and some of us love it as well. See: Alton Brown, and fascination therewith.
The rest of the article doesn't get much better. Honestly, after reading this kind of manure, why would a women be interested in a geek at all?
"This is probably the first true thing " (Score:3, Insightful)
There is some truth to the matter that when they are *working* and *single* they're more inclined to think than cook, but when involved in a relationship they aren't just cooking for *themselves.* So in that respect along their might be some truth to it.
I find that your "but" is far closer to the truth than the article is.
I'm the chef in my house, and I've earned that right and responsibility by merit. My stir-fryed random alone would make the Iron Chef blush in shame.
And I'm damned proud of it.
KFG
Re:"This is probably the first true thing " (Score:3, Informative)
Cooking is like coding. The idea isn't to cut and paste code, the idea is to understand what you're doing.
Cooking has the equivilent of algorighms. Learn these instead of recipies. Certain spices mix well with certain foods and certain other spices. Conversely they can go badly as well. Certain techniques apply to certain foods, but not to others. Etc.
When you get these ideas down you can just go to the pantry, or even the dumpster, and whip up a masterpiece out of whatever happens to be there.
If you *really* want to learn to cook get theory and technique books, not recipe books.
Start out with James Beard's "Theory and Practice of Good Cooking" and go on from there. It starts out with a recipe for "boiling water" and works up from there.
KFG
Re:Google cache of the Girl's Guide to Geek guys (Score:4, Insightful)
The article gives five reasons -
They are generally available.
Other women will tend not to steal them.
They can fix things.
Your parents will love them.
They're smart.
The key is the second one... I've discovered recently (after spending 18 months dating online) that after women get out of their high school years, they've usually been burned a few times by guys, and often start to look for the guys who aren't in demand (or aren't able to attract serious competition). These are generally women who are good looking but not stunning, who've been able to attract guys in the past but not keep them, and wind up with low self-esteem.
So they go for someone "safe", who will eventually find out he's being used as a security blanket, and if he's got any cojones he'll boot her to the curb the way she deserves.
Grin. If you're desperate, keep an eye out for the ones with the footprint on their cute little a$$.
Re:Google cache of the Girl's Guide to Geek guys (Score:3, Funny)
Um, no...because as we all know, B5 is FAR superior to Star Trek.
(ducks...)
-frozen
Re:Google cache of the Girl's Guide to Geek guys (Score:4, Funny)
I'm getting myself a video phone.. (Score:5, Funny)
Geek Dating rule #1 (Score:5, Funny)
Watch him carefully, and do the exact opposite.
That means: Never ever EVER say, "Nice LAAAYdeeee, oh! with the pushing, and the shoving, I can't help but notice your eyes, nice EYYYYeeees, are glowing like the blinkenlights on my fileserver, in the mother's basement, LAAAAYdeeee...oh MY!"
i know what i have to do.... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:i know what i have to do.... (Score:2)
poll... (Score:3, Interesting)
Your gift for V-Day?
Sent it in last night -- rejected.
Re:poll... (Score:3, Funny)
Weekend stay at Resort de CowboyNeal
to just:
CowboyNeal
Would have been a bit funnier
Homophobia (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Homophobia (Score:3, Funny)
Or maybe they were telling me this to distract me while they ran screaming. I can never tell for sure.
Feh (Score:2, Insightful)
And just how the hell is it homophobia? Do you *want* a hetero to write a homo version of a Guide, even though they're not gonna know what the hell they're talking about?
The only people to blame for the lack of homosexual geek guides are the homosexuals who haven't written them yet.
Guy's Guide to Geek Guys (Score:4, Informative)
There isn't really much of a "gay geek guide", so I figured I might just as well start one. Besides, it's Friday afternoon and I don't feel like doing any work.
On to the subject.
What do non-geek guys need to know? The most important bit is that geek guys are, well, geeky.
Physical appearance is usually of secondary importance to gay geeks, although not as much as one may suspect. The geek culture usually views appearance as secondary to intellectual prowess - which leads to an interesting clash of cultures. Gay geeks may think that taking care to look good is beneath them - but nevertheless pay attention to how others present themselves. Just don't point this out to them - they'll immediately deny it.
Participation in sports is usually right out. There is a contingent of sporty geeks, but even they tend towards non-contact, non-confrontational sports, such as frisbee or cycling. Many geeks are altogether aphysical.
Social contact is notoriously a stumbling block, but usually not as bad as in the case of straight geeks. Our playing field is much more level - let's face it, we're all guys, we're really rather straightforward (ahem, gayforward?
Not surprisingly, gay geeks tend toward the introverted, analytic type. They make great intellectual partners - they tend to be well-read, have broad knowledge as well as many areas of expertise, and can be surprisingly cultured. Intellectual nimbleness is highly valued, and even their sense of humor tends towards the analytic and absurd - which can be good or bad, depending on how far it's taken.
Though there are many types of geek, computer geeks in particular will spend a lot of time exploring computer systems. The machine is for them both something to play with and something to learn about - and they greatly enjoy both activities. They will also often enjoy 'geeking out' - talking shop with other geeks. Don't try to stop them, it's impossible. Just take comfort knowing that after half-an-hour or so, after they've finished geeking out about the latest operating system thingamajigs or what have you, they'll be more than happy to come back to earth and talk about normal things again.
More often than not, they'll instinctively tend to analyze everything, and act in thought-out ways. It's rare for them to be extemporaneous and wild - that mode of behavior is contrary to what they value. Very few gay geeks are also drama queens. So know what you're going in for.
Geeks and gays both build very idiosyncratic subcultures, with very distinct values and ways of communication. This usually means gay geeks are doubly idiosyncratic.
On the plus side, gay geeks are usually much more conscious of their quirks than straight geeks or gay non-geeks. They realize some of their fascinations, their anime, sci-fi, computer games, or what have you, are just ways of asserting individual difference - and they derive much of the pleasure from this separation. Don't expect them to want to conform to any popular mold.
---
This work is hereby donated to the public domain. Do what you want with it.
Well... the slashdot is subtitled news for nerds (Score:2)
Helpful hint... (Score:5, Funny)
Contrary to what some people on Slashdot say, they won't come to you.
Re:Helpful hint... (Score:5, Funny)
he wants you to take a shower too
Dating tips (Score:5, Funny)
Always use the format YYYY-MM-DD as this causes the least confusion. It's sortable too, and it's even an ISO standard!
Oh, wait.. not that kind of date....
Re:Dating tips (Score:5, Funny)
Every heard of Y2KY Jelly? It allows you to fit 4 digits into your date instead of 2.
misguided (Score:2, Troll)
One aspect of geekiness has always been a lack of connection with other people. This emotional chasm is what has driven many of the Great Geeks (Einstein, Feynman, et al) to pour their energy into invention and genius. Geeks are thus given a choice, between intellectual pursuits and the attempt to integrate themselves with normal society. There should be no shortcuts, or we risk losing future geniuses to the normal life.
Also, the human race is kept strong is through evolution. If asthmatic, neurotic geeks improve their chances in the great slot machine of life, then future generations may be cursed with poorer health and social skills (which are essential to proper child-rearing), a state that will only be perpetuated and intensified in generations to come. Geeks need to be at a sexual disadvantage to temper their intellectual superiority, lest we introduce imbalance to the human race.
Geek guides for dating could be a powerful weapon against the Dark Lord in the East.
Re:misguided (Score:3, Informative)
Survey says, "Bzzt!" Thank you for playing.
Feynman had great connections with other people. Read up on him. He was not only a brilliant physicist, he was also a popular teacher. Part of the joy of figuring things out was helping other people understand his insights.
It's true he was deeply affected by the death of his wife Arline. Even after that, though, he often went to places where he could be surrounded by other people. He played drums in a band!
Hardly the emotional chasm you mention.
Re:misguided (Score:3, Informative)
You realize, of course, that you just listed two married men in your "support" of your argument...
Coincidence Design (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Coincidence Design (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Coincidence Design (Score:3, Funny)
Him (smoking cigarette after sex in backseat of car): Honey, we've been together for a few hours now, and I really really like you. I need to come clean about this - it's been eating at me and I can't handle the dishonesty anymore.
Her: What is it, love?
Him: You know how I met you on the side of the road with the tire on your car shot out by some psychopath, and I gave you a ride to this park?
Her: Yes --?
Him: The whole thing was a sham. I had it engineered by Coincidence Designs.
Her: That means -- ?
Him: Yes.
Her: You spent $80,000 dollars for a chance to get me in the sack?
(He looks sheepish)
Her: Honey, that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard! I love you! You're such a stallion! Let's get married!
Send your ex a spiteful poem (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Send your ex a spiteful poem (Score:3, Interesting)
Good point. How about "Screw someone else's ex tonight!"
If they stopped to really think about it, that's what most people in relationships will be doing tonight anyways, right?
I have always been a shy (Score:2)
Of course now they call it stalking. It can get pretty lonely in the bushes.
That guide sucks (Score:3)
2. Cuisine just wrong. Most geeks I know cook. Ever wonder why our man Alton (http://www.altonbrown.com) did a
3. MYST!!! What the fuck is this bitch going on about. In general any geek worth having is going to be too busy working to play games and when we are working we would like to be left alone. Just be understanding that sometimes we need some time to work and support that.
So in conclusion this piece was insutling and wrong. BTW my wife is perfect.
Remember (Score:5, Funny)
Or heroin for that matter!
I'm glad I never had dating problems (Score:4, Informative)
Don't settle on an ugly chick. Hot chicks will lay down with just about anything during high school and college, too.
Moderator Points (Score:5, Funny)
SWM with Mod Points, willing to trade with SWF interested in
remembering names (Score:5, Funny)
It can be a bit embarising, if, after going out for a couple of weeks you still forget you girls name.
So, my tips is; always date girls with the same name. (this is also handy if your seeing more than one at once).
Re:remembering names (Score:5, Funny)
REMEMBER THEIR NAME.
Try my "killer" opening line: (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Try my "killer" opening line: (Score:5, Funny)
slashdotted women (Score:3, Funny)
manual pages?!? (Score:4, Funny)
Mirror URLs (Score:4, Informative)
The legendary "Girl's Guide to Geek Guys" by Mikki Halpin (and originally published in Bunnyhop, a great 'zine) is slashdotted at antioch.edu, apparently.
The Google cache is here [216.239.37.100]
Some more mirrors are here [crash.com], and here at XS4ALL in Holland [xs4all.nl].
And btw, one of the pages mentions that Mikki has written a book based on the article. The book is available on the Evil Patenting Amazon.com [amazon.com].
Antioch. (Score:3, Interesting)
--grendel drago
Okay, advice from a married geek... (Score:4, Funny)
So gentlemen, buy flowers, keep your balls.
Upcoming? (Score:3, Funny)
Having no date is bad... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Having no date is bad... (Score:3, Funny)
I think the perfect situation for a guy would be if you met your girlfriend on valentine's day and it also happened to be her birthday. Now you can cover three events in one! (anniversary, birthday, valentine's day) And if you propose on that day, and get married on that day, you've got it made. I'm sure you're thinking.. "Well then I have to work three times as hard to please her!" Perhaps you will have to work harder, but I figure as long as you do more than her friend's boyfriend's do, you're golden. Even if you spend 3 times the cash, it will require not nearly as much planning and time. Perhaps some others are thinking "Well then I don't get 3 days with automatic sex." I say if you're not getting it regularily anyway, she doesn't deserve a damn thing.
Call me cynical, cheap, evil.. whatever.. but I still say that'd be a sweet setup.
-hero.
Darwin Wouldn't think Its Great... (Score:4, Interesting)
Yes, but in Darwinian evolution, it doesn't matter when you get laid, it just matters that you get laid. In fact, gettin' it on, earlier in life, technically makes you more reproductively successful because any number of things could cause your early demise, the earlier onset of sexual activity would (assuming a condom-less world) pass on your genetic material to the next generation before the opportunity for premature death to occur.
Although it is an interesting fact. And in modern society, where human mating isn't random, etc. Its probably a good sign for the future of our species. I seem to recall reading about another study that showed an inverse relationship between the IQ of an individual and the age at which they first engaged in sexual activity. So if you are a 30 year old virgin, rejoice, and join Mensa [mensa.org]!
Three Easy Steps (Score:4, Funny)
Step 1: Find member of opposite sex.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Date!
Can't be hopeless for me... (Score:5, Funny)
I've already gotten 12 emails from gals today who want to meet me at their website and make hot love to me! I don't need any guides to dating...I'm a chic magnet!
Let's Not Forget ESR's Sex Tips For Geeks (Score:3, Informative)
- Introduction [menloschool.org]
- How To Be Sexy [menloschool.org]
- The Art of the Pickup [menloschool.org]
- The Dating Game [menloschool.org]
- On Being Good In Bed [menloschool.org]
- Sex and Consequences [menloschool.org]
- Relationship Management [menloschool.org]
- Avoiding the Curse of Oversensitivity [menloschool.org]
Probably the most unintentionally funny thing ESR has ever written.I have BETTER things to do (Score:5, Funny)
- Trying not to weep openly in public
- Trying not to think about all the great sex my ex-girlfriends must be having right now
- Stockpiling cheap hooch, 'cause once you get started, it can be tough to find the booze store when you need more
- Finding a comfortable, out-of-the-way gutter
- Maybe looking into that heroin addiction idea I've been kicking around
- Harshly silencing those dopey "friends" who always want to "help," as if I have some kind of "problem"
- Pondering a little private self-love, if you know what I mean, but realizing my self-loathing will just shoot me down, anyway
Yes, that's the glorious Valentine's Day I've got planned so far... anyone else have ideas?
Re:I have BETTER things to do (Score:3, Funny)
I'm getting a good start in replying to as many /. messages as possble.
Instead of weeping in public I'm weeping on the dog, who cares. Or rather the dog thinks that if god wants to weep over hime, than god should. (every geek should own a dog to treat them like god)
The cat on the other hand thinks that my tears are fun to bat off my face. (Every geek should have a cat to prove the dog wrong)
I think I will go to bed early. Any girls I've met who are worth my time have forgotten I exist (if they still exist isn't sure either), but I can perhaps dream of them. Dreams have a major advantage. The cute nice girls like me in the dreams, and they don't have any overwhelming bad qualities that I can't stand.
Some hints from an ugly overweighted geek guy... (Score:3, Interesting)
1- Never ever show that you need a mate; if she approaches you it's because she needs you, not the other way around.
2- Being not good looking of course doesn't help when you look for "a girl a nite", but it's damn useful to find the right one to spend your life with.
3- There aren't clever but ugly OR damn-hot but stupid girls. One of the prettiest girls I've ever met was a computer programmer; the ugliest one was stupid as a brick.
4- Stop looking for a mate. -I'm serious- You'll find one when you'll stop searching. Focus your interests on something else and do it; don't let the lack of sex drive you crazy or you can be damn sure that no girl in the world will be interested in you.
It worked for me.
Just my
if you meet a nice girl (Score:5, Funny)
Optimus Prime. (Score:5, Funny)
My girlfriend had a crush on Optimus Prime when she was young.
Seriously.
Bwa ha ha, I've got mine! (Score:3)
For the official record, my wife is fun, smart, sexy, and:
Sure, I have to spend a couple hundred bucks a year on Valentines and our Anniversary, but it's way cheaper than a couple nights at a titty bar or whatever you poor schmucks have to do. More importantly, it's a shared bank account and she makes more than I do. Bwa ha ha!
</div>Mathematical Advice for 2/14 (Score:5, Funny)
R = P / M
where R is the romantic level, P is price, and M is mass. This seems to work in some cases: when flowers are the same mass, the ones that cost more are more romantic. Ditto for wine. Diamonds are light and pricey, and thus even more romantic than flowers. However, RAM, no matter what the bus speed, has not been found to be romantic. This has led some to propose the formula:
R = P / (M * U)
where U is utility - thus, the more useful it is, the less romantic it is. Mathemeticians are still applying this formula in the field, looking for counter-examples and debating the consequences.
Get laid or have a relationship? (Score:5, Insightful)
If you want to get laid as much as possible, follow the advice of the Tom Leykis [blowmeuptom.com] radio show. Be a jerk. Don't call her back. Tell her you'll call on Monday, then don't call til Thursday. Don't spend money on her -- make her pay (say you forgot your wallet, etc). Don't be available when she wants to go out, make her think you have more important things (or women) to do than her. For the type of woman who will screw anything that moves, this will only make her want you more. Go out on a Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Don't go out on Friday or Saturday unless it's a guaranteed lay - remember you want her thinking you're doing something even more fun without her.
This stuff works, as long as you're willing to do hot chicks who've done dozens (if not hundreds) of other guys before you. A great little trick they've been talking about on the show lately is to make up fake ATM receipts with large account balances. This should be easy for the geeks - just scan your receipt, edit in gimp to give yourself a 6 figure balance, and print. Crumple it up a little to make it nice and believable. Then talk to some hot chick, tell her you have to go to some important meeting but give her your phone number and write it on that ATM receipt. She will call and you will get laid.
Now, let's face it. Many of us geeks are nice guys and just don't have the balls to do stuff like the above. We don't get laid by chicks like that - not because of our looks, but because we treat them nicely (oh, he's so nice -- and boring!!). But for many of us (myself included), that's ok - we'd rather run nothing but Windows 2.0 than have anything to do with those brainless dopey chicks who put out on command. I mean, come on -- ewww! Do you know what (or how many different... 'things') have been in that? No thank you! Have some self respect, lady!
For those of us in this group, we want a real relationship, with a lady who has a brain. I'm proud to say that I found one, without being a jerk, and ended up marrying her. I'm totally shy and awkward, with no confidence in social situations. So what worked? Personals.
Many people still look at personal ads with a stigma -- "Oh, he couldn't get a date so he had to resort to THAT! What a loser!" But screw them. It's practically the perfect way to find the right person, not just someone who's ok. Find out about the other person before wasting time or investing a lot of emotion into it. Search, wait, and hold out for that perfect gal (or guy).
Personally, I used Yahoo! Personals, about 4 years ago, back when it was still free. I responded to about 2 ads a week - some went as far as phone calls, some even went to a dinner date after several emails and phone calls. None went farther because none of these women felt "right." I never felt totally comfortable. That's ok, though. Nobody needs to be in a rush for this stuff!
Finally I posted my own ad and got 2 responses. One was thousands of miles away looking for a penpal. Ok, whatever. The other started emailing back and forth and then we started calling each other. The first night we talked for 4 hours on the phone. I never do that, much less with someone I've only emailed for a week. Needless to say, it was a sign that she was "the one." I felt totally comfortable on our first date (SW Episode 1 -- the movie sucked but the date rocked!). We just belonged together. 3 years later we were married.
So, you see, I am a big proponent of personals if you want to find that special someone. It worked beautifully for me, though that's no guarantee for anyone else. Relationships are a lot of work, no doubt about that - but what you get out of it is much more than you put in (and much more satisfying on all levels than the guys above who are just getting laid with a bunch of skanks -- but hey, if that's your thing, great! Have fun!).
Unfortunately most of the sites now require payment. That sucks but totally understandable. I don't know if I would have met my wife if one (or both) of us had had to pay. There's no guarantee that you'll get anything out of any one ad, so it's a crapshoot, with pretty poor odds. For geeks, though, I can recommend Peer2Peer [ufies.org] which is made only for geeks. I believe it's still free, but it's been some time since I looked at it.
Anyway, good luck, be smart, and have fun -- whether you choose option #1 or #2, they're both ok as long as it's right for you!
Suggestion for dating. (Score:5, Insightful)
I live in Seattle and this town is probably one of the worst towns in the US (Next to Silicon Valley) to be a single guy in.
Bars are never an option due to the fact that the majority of women are literally afraid of being 'hit on' or some other personality issue (usually because they didn't get that pony from daddy on their 16th birthday or someting like that).
I've also found (IMO) that attitudes on Dating/picking up women vary from City to City.
In Vancouver B.C., people love to go out and have fun. This is a great place to go meet down to earth women.
In San Fanciscisco, women are approachable but they like to get to know you for a bit and then go from there.
London is like Vancouver but magnified by 10 when it comes to living life and having fun.
I explored many options and have found some things that work:
1)Take Group Dance lessons. Salsa, Swing, whatever. In most dance studios you have to switch partners throughout the class and you can talk/flirt during the lessons.
2)Go to public bars or places that offer formal dancing (salsa and swing especially). Women who go to most of these places in Seattle are going to dance or have fun. These places are great if you want to get to know someone without the bar 'stigma' of one night stands or geting shot down in flames. Also, a great icebreaker, while dancing, is telling them that you're learning how to dance. Women will eat that up.
Take classes in non-technical topics you want to learn about. This is a great way, in the very least, to meet people who share the same interest as you
(side note the 'gold digger' types of women don't tend to frequent these places)
I've never tried a dating service or enlisted 'professional' services. However, I've seen friends who have used dating services and the toughest part of Dating services is writing your 'about me' section and what picture you use. (Make the picture a good one. Even if you have to use Photoshop/The Gimp..just kidding).
The main problem with witing your bio are the differences in writing and creativity of men Vs. women. In the Seattle area publicaion, the Stranger, check out the differnce in writing styles of the 'Men Seeking Women' and 'Women seeking Men' sections [thestranger.com]. (side note: This link may be busy or down today due to the Stranger's publicaion of free valentines ads/love notes on a different part of this site)
See how the 'Men seeking ads are so bland and the 'Women seeking are much more creative? You gotta put some serious work in the bio to get noticed. You gotta find a way to show how you stick out amongst all the other candidates.
Keep in mind, just because you may get shot down, it's not your fault. It's something with them. Also, just because you may not have a connection with a woman you meet, don't burn bridges. She may very well have a single friend(s) for you to meet. I've definitely hooked up in this manner before
Finally, (and this is the most important one) don't, under any circumstances, regress into techno-babble mode for the non-technical type women. Just say you play with computers all day and leave it at that. Once you're seriously dating, then resume the techno-babbble.
Dolemite
How to tie a neck tie?! (Score:3, Informative)
http://www.tieanecktie.com/ [tieanecktie.com]
How I found the right woman. (Score:5, Insightful)
Now in my case I'm sure it was my incredible charisma, good looks, intellect, and my mad spelling skillz, that won her over(yeah, right).
The point is ask. you will most likely be reject, but you might not. It seems to me, most geek need some thicker skin, and the ability to relize you can't controll the enviroment you live in like you do the enviroment on your computer.
MIRRORS THAT WORK (Score:3, Informative)
(thanks, archive.org and google!)
A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys [archive.org]
Bart's Dating Guide for Geeks [216.239.57.100]
Copy Paste Karma Whore - Credit (Score:5, Informative)
Takes up less space as well
Re:How to get a hacker to bed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How to get a hacker to bed (Score:5, Funny)
Nice load average. Wanna fsck?
Re:Geek personals? (Score:5, Interesting)
A better geek valentine poem (Score:5, Funny)
Violets are blue
All my base
Are belong to you.
Re:Mac girls are the best (Score:5, Funny)
DOS girls are what we all need. Cheap, not too flashy, and do what you need them to do quickly.
Linux girls take some getting used to, and don't do some of the flashier things, but are dependable for what they do.
Windows girls do all the new flashy things and games, but like the parent said, they are likely to be carrying a few viruses
Re:Mac girls are the best (Score:3, Funny)
But the problem with Linux girls is that it's so difficult to make them go down.
Re:Three words... (Score:3, Informative)
Truth in advertising: there are men who act like that, and yes, there are women who like men who act like that. But if you're not one of those men, you're essentially selling your soul to become one -- and the women you'll pick up that way aren't going to be worth your while for very long. Trust me on this.
My favorite quote from the site:
This reads like something written by a guy who just recently found out what the word "dominatrix" means and who is is Really Disturbed by the idea
Enjoy your jack-off fantasies, kids.
Re:If you need to read a guide (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Question (Score:4, Interesting)
- Flowers at the beginning.
- Dinner & drinks
- Entertainment (club, movie)
- Foreplay
- Sex
A pathetic date wouldn't make it past 1.. I show up with flowers, she shows up looking like a heroin junkie just coming down, that's the end of it..An annoying date doesn't get past 2.. It's amazing how useful those "Call me at 10pm" calls are.. Always give yourself an out.. Unless you're just hard up for the sex, but even then, if you're that hard up, you aren't getting that far.
If we get to 3, you almost have it made.. Don't hit on her friends at the club, or steal all the candy at the movie..
If you get to 4, you're just proving to her that you're worth taking to 5..
If you get past 5, and she makes you breakfast in the morning, you've found the perfect woman.
Re:Question (Score:5, Funny)
2.Dinner & drinks
3.Entertainment (club, movie)
4.Foreplay
5.Sex
>
> If you get past 5, and she makes you breakfast in the morning, you've found the perfect woman.
But you haven't truly won unless you get 6) ...profit!!!