Telcos Play Both Sides of Telemarketing War 430
Monoman writes "Most Slasdot readers already know this but CNN has an article about how the telcos are reaping profits from selling your phone number to the telemarketers, and selling customers ways to block the telemareketers, and selling telemarketers ways to get around the customers who are paying to have telemarketers blocked and... I think you get the picture. It is nice to see stuff like this in the mainstream media." So either both sides pay the local Baby Bell for its protection racket, or you just pass a law and the problem goes away.
Whatever, I have a cell phone (Score:4, Informative)
Re:Whatever, I have a cell phone (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Whatever, I have a cell phone (Score:5, Funny)
Kids are great, they also know how to grab the mouse and click on "agree" on those click through licenses. I haven't had to agree to a EULA in the longest time.
Re:Recording your calls (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Whatever, I have a cell phone (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Whatever, I have a cell phone (Score:3, Insightful)
This is why you should always press charges if a telemarketer calls your cell phone. Bleed 'em dry.
Re:Whatever, I have a cell phone (Score:3, Interesting)
"Could Jesus Microwave a burrito so hot, that he himself could not eat it."HS
Re:Whatever, I have a cell phone (Score:3, Insightful)
If you have done business with the company, it's not illegal
Unless you tell them to stop, at which point it is illegal. I've gotten two calls, one each from two of my credit card companies, and they lasted less than a minute each. Much better than when I had my "land line" and was getting two or three calls a day.
What Transpired (Score:5, Funny)
"Find respectable work."
or
"Stop exploiting poor people."
And the company gets to pay the return envelope postage. With telemarketers, however, we are forced into the uncomfortable twinge of countering our ingrained impulse to be polite on the phone. What my roomate used to do is this: when they start talking, take the phone from your ear, put it to your mouth, and just SCREAM!!!!
Then laugh as you imagine the dork at his cubicle, ripping his headset off and holding his ear in pain.
Boost Advil sales.
Medicate all your pets.
Other methods (Score:2, Interesting)
As for the telemarketers, I think the "loud noise tactics" are just stooping to the level of the bad guys. Instead, you make the standard "Put me on your do-not-call list, permanently" statement AND THEN RING A BELL, WHICH YOU WOULD POSITION NEAR THE PHONE FOR EXACTLY THIS PURPOSE. The telemarketers have little bells that they are supposed to ring when they close a sale. This is somehow supposed to produce positive feedback that lifts the spirits of nearby telemarketers in adjacent cubicles, in a desperate attempt to fight off all the rejection. Anything you can do to discourage or demoralize them should be accompanied by the "ding" sound of a bell, just to let them know who is in charge.
Re:What Transpired (Score:4, Funny)
Re:What Transpired (Score:5, Insightful)
I know someone who worked as a telemarketer. She was a nice person. She said that you don't even know who you are calling -- a machine does it for the telemarketer. That's why they frequently stumble pronouncing your name -- they don't see it until the moment you pick up the phone.
Telemarketing is a thankless job, but it pays well, and for someone who doesn't have a degree -- heck, with the economy the way it is now, even people *with* degrees -- it's a job that pays well without requiring physical exertion or long hours.
Have you heard what most telemarketers sound like? They aren't thrilled about their product. They're not excited to tell you about it. They're just running through a script they've been given. Most telemarketers I hear sound tired, they sound stressed, they sound worn out.
If you simply tell them "Put this number on your do not call list" then they are obligated by law to do so and cannot call you for a year. On the other hand, screaming or attacking the person who calls you isn't constructive. It just increases the stress of that person, and, probably, yours.
Re:What Transpired (Score:4, Insightful)
It's like in the Army. If you do something, you are morally responsible for it, regardless of who gave the order. Shooting Jews because you're "following orders" is still wrong.
Your friend is among those that choose to waste my time, thus I hold them accountable.
I should add that I've never done more than become stern and just hang up with telemarketers, so keep the flames down.
Re:What Transpired (Score:5, Funny)
Instead, I recommend hooking up a small, 5 watt amplifier up to your phone line. Be sure to use a switch that will disconnect your own phone speaker when you turn it on.
Re:Whatever, I have a cell phone (Score:3, Funny)
Having a cell phone isn't going to stop them at all.
I don't need to stop them all, I just need to stop the ones who call me. And so far, for over two years now, it's worked.
This reminds me of something. (Score:2, Interesting)
just once... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:just once... (Score:5, Funny)
Call go something like this?
Telemarketer: Hi Mr. Cantel!
You: My name is Cantrell.
TM: Did we catch you at a bad time?
You: Well, actua...
TM: Goooood.. If calls like this annoy the hell out of you, you need the Telezapper!
You:
TM: It gets rid of those annoying dinner-time calls from lowlife telemarketers like myself!
*hangup*
Georgia has the same type of system. It works, too (Score:5, Informative)
siri
Re:Georgia has the same type of system. It works, (Score:4, Funny)
Wisconsin's (Score:3, Informative)
Not Effective until Jan 1
Informative Link (Score:2, Informative)
Re:Georgia has the same type of system. It works, (Score:4, Informative)
Apparently, the anti-telemarketer website doesn't seem to have a problem with pop-ups though...
Re:Georgia has the same type of system. It works, (Score:2)
FTC is considering opt-out "no call" database (Score:5, Informative)
Pass the Law! (Score:4, Interesting)
I think the law should be sufficiently broad that no private or public enterprise may sell or otherwise benefit from distributing to third parties any information it has about you that makes you personally identifiable.
I don't have a problem with any enterprise selling compiled demographics.
So call (preferably during dinnertime) your representative!
cornflakes (Score:3, Funny)
Re:cornflakes (Score:2, Interesting)
As they say in the article: marketers value THEIR time, but not yours. I like to return the favour of wasting their time without wasting MINE.
The Chicken Method (Score:5, Funny)
This guy I once knew got so many telemarketing calls (on his cell, no less) that he took to answering the phone like a chicken. He'd just pick up the line and start immediately with the clucking noises. His friends all knew he did it, so they'd just say "Rob" and immediately he'd be like "buk buk buk.. Oh hey what's up." If the other person started laughing, or acting puzzled, he'd just step up the chicken noises. Funny and effective.
Re:The Chicken Method (Score:3, Funny)
A former housemate of mine used to answer telemarking calls like this:
"I'm sorry, I don't have a telephone."
The conversation usually went downhill from there. Except once, when the caller said "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you, then." and hung up.
Oh Bother! (Score:4, Funny)
I politely explain to the caller that I had been killed a week prior in a terrible car accident, and that as a result, I am no longer interested in health insurance, long distance service, vinyl siding or a penis extension. This is the source of much amusement.
I further request that I be permanently removed from their call list, since I am, quite dead, and thus unlikely to be interested in their offer, no matter of remarkably opportune, in the forseeable future. This reduces my future call load.
If they've not complied and hung up by this point, I become audibly emotional (cue my sobbing girlfriend in the background) and become irate about the insensitivity of the caller, and their corporate policy. This is the fun, sadistic part.
On occasion, when dealing with a cold-call from a business which clearly got my number second or even third hand, I've claim to have died many months ago, in order to raise the question of validity of the information they purchase.
Since the marketting calls in my area wax and wane over the period of several weeks, this can be literally hours of fun each week. I highly recommend it.
Re:cornflakes (Score:4, Funny)
Salesdroid: "Hello sir. I'm calling you this evening to tell you... blah blah blah.... switching long distance carriers...."
Me: "I'm sorry, I don't think I can do that. I don't have a phone"
Salesdroid (prepared response): "Well, sir, that's..... uuuuuhhhhh... you don't have a phone?"
Me: "Yes. Hey, get off the microwave, I'm trying to cook dinner! (Click)"
I can just imagine that poor bastard sitting in his cube, his poor automaton braing trying to process such invalid input.
To this day, it still makes me laugh (and yes, it's a true story).
State Opt Out (Score:4, Insightful)
No optout will work completely (Score:5, Interesting)
That person was then called (and crossed off in the book).... and then we added 1 to the number and called that and repeat until we'd tried 10 people or called someone who complained we'd already called them.
This way we got people in the area we wanted and we didn't pay for any phone numbers - the phone book was probably free.
Occasionally we called the same person twice - but they would be very unlikely to be called more than twice.
Being X-directory or whatever would have had no effect whatsoever, and we did get a few people complain about this - surprise surprise.
P.S.
In my defence we were NOT selling anything, we were asking questions about what people thought of their water board and what they thought its environmental priorities should be.
I quit after a couple of days anyway (not what I'd signed up for). I'd signed up to call up companies and I see little wrong with calling bored secretaries and asking about what printers their firm uses (they are paid to answer the phone and are quite capable of saying they're busy).
Next time you're cold-called have *some* sympathy for the caller though as it is one of the most soul destroying jobs out there, having the phone slammed down and taking abuse 20 times an hour.
--
If you laid all the cold callers in the world around the equator end to end
Re:No optout will work completely (Score:3, Insightful)
I have a basic respect for all people... as long as they show me the same respect. Telemarketers and telemarketing companies intrude on people's privacy and basically annoy people for no good reason. I consider that to be very disrespectful and I will not tolerate it.
Hopefully your friend will finish school soon and move into a more respectable career where he will not be intruding on other people's privacy or disrespecting them and still be able to spend time with his young son.
Re:State Opt Out (Score:3, Interesting)
Unless, of course, they are:
A non-profit organization.
A business with a prior relationship (or 'affiliates' of such businesses).
Political Groups.
Businesses that will not complete the sale on the phone.
So that cuts out exactly who, now? The spam calls I get are exclusively within the abovementioned categories. It's not even worth my time to figure out how to get on 'The List'!
Re:State Opt Out (Score:3)
What encourages telemarketers is that *other* people are buying stuff, not me. I've never bought anything from a telemarketer but that dosen't stop me getting 3 or 4 calls a week from them. Your suggestion that I should have to change the social factors in my community (convince people not to buy stuff from telemarketers) is absurd.
All these anit-telemarketing laws do is take more freedoms away from the public.
Once again, you are an idiot. Nowhere are you guaranteed the right to bother people. And you aren't taking rights away "from the public" you are restricting ways in which business can carry out business, which is precisely the mandate of congress as set out by the constitution.
Whaaaa? (Score:5, Insightful)
"I don't think it's a case of we should pick one side over the other," she said. "We do serve both sides."
So... she's actually saying that Verizon does play telemarketers and consumers agianst each other, but not in a bad way? Huh? I think a little downsizing is way past due in Verizon's PR dept...
Best slashdot typo *ever* (Score:2, Funny)
*chuckle*
Suits against the laws exist (Score:3, Informative)
Personally I'm glad to see the calls gone, but i do see their point too..
I expect in the end the laws will be struck down. after a long and expensive ( tax payer funded ) battle. Only one getting something out of it will be the attorneys.
Of course we all know lawyers play the same game, start up suits and make money off both sides.
Re:Suits against the laws exist (Score:5, Insightful)
The DMA is run by crooks and thieves. They're just rich enough to bribe the right Congresscritters.
Suits against the laws & NAFTA (Score:4, Interesting)
I don't know if this would apply here, but I wouldn't be surprised. It's been used already in numerous cases (see link).
Cell phones are better... (Score:2)
Mobile phones are not immune (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Mobile phones are not immune (Score:3, Insightful)
Trace busta busta busta! (Score:2)
How about those "tele-zapper" things? (Score:2, Informative)
It just sends the first tone of the "disconnected number" FCC 3-tone code whenever you pick up a phone call. I've seen people [torrez.net] claim you can put the tones [torrez.org] on your answering machine before your message and it should block incoming telemarketers without the $50 cost of the telezapper (as long as you let the answering machine pick up).
Re:How about those "tele-zapper" things? (Score:5, Informative)
SET pickupdelay +2
Problem solved. We used to laugh at the people who wasted their money on those things, and then sputtered and fumed at us that we shouldn't be able to get through. Truth is, those things may work for 30-40% of your telemarketing calls, but thats it. Other things, like the delay it can take for the phone lines to connect, also shorten the tone to the point where it stops before the dialer believes you're out of service. But adding a delay before it picks up if by far the most common ploy.
The other thing people don't realize is that direct callers don't have one big list of numbers that they constantly whittle down. Most do as we did, randomly generating phone numbers, then filtering out the numbers on the no-call list and in cell-phone domains. If your phone gets marked as out-of-order, it will still go back on a list with that same company within a week... they expect your number to be used by someone else quite quickly. And no, just because the company that does sell number lists thinks you're out of order, doesn't mean that they'll never try again. Think of the math... how many people have only had their phone number for a few years? How many people get new phones everyday?
And, before I left, I heard a wonderful tidbit... the list-sellers may soon set up auto-dial systems that do nothing but call the numbers marked as disconnected. If they ever get anything but that tone (say, because you're on the phone), you go back on the active list, with a little mark next to it that will bias the ranking of your number so that it won't be marked out-of-service for a very long time. It costs them nothing to keep trying your number.
And yes, for the record, even though I was doing good things (making all those pretty commercials you see on TV and all those shiny ads in the magazines), I still feel dirty sometimes =)
Re:How about those "tele-zapper" things? (Score:3, Insightful)
That would be from your own post, specifically "Problem solved". It certainly created the impression that the delay was done in order to solve the "problem" of not getting through to people with telezappers. So strike the word "deliberately" from my original post; the rest stands.
if you wanted to indicate that you didn't want intrusion into your life, then maybe you should have let intelligence intrude into your head and signed up on all the various no-call lists (cost: free) instead of wasting your good money on something that doesn't work
I really don't understand your contempt for the people whose lives you were interrupting. Perhaps they didn't know about the no-call lists, didn't trust telemarketers to honor them, or didn't want to spend the time to figure out how to get on them. Time is not free, although I wouldn't expect telemarketers or those who use their tactics to understand that.
easy solution (Score:2, Insightful)
This already exists (Score:5, Interesting)
-AAAWalrus
Dr. Seuss would have fun with this. (Score:2)
It sounds like The Sneetches [amazon.com] by Dr. Seuss with the Telcos playing the "Fix-it-up Chappie". This could be really amusing.
the problem really does go away (Score:5, Interesting)
From the article summary:
So either both sides pay the local Baby Bell for its protection racket, or you just pass a law [nynocall.com] and the problem goes away.
I went to nynocall.com about nine months ago, and ever since I think I've gotten one, count 'em, one telemarketing call. And after I got it, I went back to the friendly nynocall.com site, and filled out a report so they could nail the bastards.
It's amazing what a great piece of legislation, plus a little enforcement, can do to solve the problem. Wish other states would follow New York's lead.
FTC is covering this with the No-Call initiative (Score:2)
Only a matter of time before Big Business buys this one out.
Autoresponse (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Autoresponse (Score:5, Funny)
I'm calling to offer you fantastic rates on long distance.
What makes you think I need fantastic rates on long distance?
You may be paying 10 to 15 percent too much on your bill.
Why do you think it is that I may be paying 10 to 15 percent too much on my bill?
Re:Autoresponse (Score:3, Interesting)
Does anyone KNOW of any such anti-spam software?
$500 Billion??? (Score:3, Interesting)
Sales revenue has risen from about $435 billion in 1990 to around $660 billion last year.
Can anyone comfirm this? $500B is about 5% of GDP.
Do you spend 5% of your gross income on stuff that telemarketers sell you?
Star Bellied Sneeches (Score:2)
Another data point...Kentucky.... (Score:2)
Kentucky does as well. http://www.kycall0.com
I heard a stat a month or so ago (aigh...wish I could remember the attribution for it), that fully 1/3 of the state's households had signed up for the nocall list (Kentucky does it on a per-household, actually, per-phone number, basis). This was right *after* the nocall list took effect in Kentucky. I can only assume that the number of households/phone lines has increased since then.
When they call... (Score:5, Funny)
Corporations = ruthless (Score:2, Troll)
To them, there is one bottom line: profit. Nothing else matters, and if people suffer from it, whether by telemarketing or in a child labor camp in Bangladesh, it does not factor into a corporation's equation.
Those laws will never get passed, as Congress is thoroughly in the pocketbook of such business, and many of the Congressmen make their money simply by whoring themselves out to corporations.
Nothing is ever done about the complaints for the do not call lists, and it seems that, due to technology, we're just going to have to put up with spam over all lines, both CAT5 and CAT3, until there's a serious change of government here in the US.
Nice idea waiting to be struck down (Score:4, Insightful)
Telemarketers who violate the law are subject to a fine of up to $5,000 per call.
BUT...
In order to comply with the law and maintain accurate internal call lists... The Registry ... is available for a fee of $800.00 per telemarketer per calendar year
This won't stand up; "Restraint of Trade" comes to mind. Either the list must be made free to telemarketers because it is a law with selective application (no calls only to those on the list) which they must follow, or the fines will be dropped on appeal. You cannot force a company to pay for information it needs to keep itself legal every quarter. Think of the ramifications: if this is acceptable, then why not another law which requires companies to downlaod a list of people on welfare which every company must download for $500/month so that they can report if someone on Welfare is actually working for them? You must take the idea to the extreme when considering it because, come hell or high water, sooner or later some case will test an extreme beyond whatever popped into your noggin before.
I'm not against charging the telemarketers. I'm against badly written laws which give the telemarketers a way to weasel out in court and which have chilling potential future effects.
woof.
Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.
Re:Nice idea waiting to be struck down (Score:2)
Re:Nice idea waiting to be struck down (Score:2)
Sprint Privacy ID (Score:4, Informative)
Now, most of us here are probably careful with our information, and giving it out, but I'd say the other 99% of the population aren't. Now, I'm not saying that the telcos aren't using these underhanded tactics, but don't leave user stupidity out of the equation.
Wisconsin will start jan 1st (Score:2)
cheers!
Counterscript (Score:3, Funny)
My standard reply (Score:2, Redundant)
Thank you very much.
The law doesn't help (Score:2, Informative)
But second, now I'm getting calls from "licensees" of the state. So now the states are playing the same game as the the telcos.
Xesdeeni
$foo plays both sides of the $bar war (Score:3, Insightful)
Arms dealers play both sides of the global war.
Lawyers play both sides of the legal war.
Congressmen play both sides of the political war.
That's just off the top of my head. I'm sure the rest of you can think of more.
Pass a law? (Score:2)
However, Plenty of technical means are available to thwart this annoying form of marketing, like playing sit.wav (the way telezapper works) over the line on incoming calls, not answering anonymous callers, etc.
Right now, I am in a unique situation since I switched landline service from Verizon to Comcast. Comcast does not have a record of my being their customer (no fault of my own, I filled out a mountain of paperwork, signed, faxed, etc.) so my VM on them does not work. Neither does their billing system for my number
Will have a dedicated computer answering machine on that line soon, with sit.wav followed by random selections of "Deposit change now", "You do not need to dial 1", etc. before the beep to leave a message.
Others might try the simple message: "Hello... Hello?... HELLO?... I can't hear you, what was that?... Hello?... Hey, I'm not in, leave a message!" as done by Tom Hanks in the movie "Nothing in Common". It wastes the telemarketer's time and gives everybody else a chuckle.
Otherwise, everybody that needs to contact me has my GSM number, it has VM and all is well with my communications world!
How I beat the telemarketers (Score:5, Insightful)
If I don't recognize the CallerID info, I don't take the call. Period. If it's an important call, a message will be left by the caller, or they'll try my wireless phone if they are important enough to me for me to have given them the number.
Get on a Do Not Call List
If your state has legislated a Do Not Call list, get your name on it. It may not help, but it surely can't hurt.
Turn Off That Ringer
I only have one ringer on per floor in my house. The basement phone's ringer is set to low volume. The one on the phone in my bedroom gets shut off entirely when I don't want to be disturbed. I got one of those Fone Flasher [radioshack.com] things from Radio Shack for my bedroom. It's positioned so whether I'm watching TV or working at the computer, I will see it out of the corner of my eye.
Roll Your Own Technology-Based Solution
Since I already had a computer running the house lights and stuff like that, I just bought a modem that supports Caller ID and got a hold of MacCallerID. Now I can leave the ringers off all the time, and the computer lets me know when someone I want to talk to is calling. I have a whitelist of callers, and when someone on that list calls and the house is not in 'sleep' or 'away' mode, the computer verbally announces their name through wireless speakers scattered throughout the house. During the day I can also hit my server from any machine with web access, and see a list of the last 10 people who have called my house.
The bottom line is, no self respecting Slashdot reader should have to pay the phone company to rid themselves of the annoyance of telemarketers.
~Philly
Automated Dialers (Score:5, Informative)
The machines dial numbers stored in a database using a mathematical algorithm to predict when a telemarketer will be ready to finish one sales call and start another. When the machine reaches a person, the call is supposed to be transferred to a telemarketer who is just finishing a previous call.
Automated dialers are illegal in many states, Washington State being one of them. A good story about this:
Link [nwsource.com]
Calls made using an automated dialing-and-announcing device for a commercial purpose -- to sell property, goods or services -- are against the law in Washington. Consumers are entitled to $500 in damages for each call.
Check your states website for information.
Another good source for your rights against telemarketers:
PrivateCitizen.org [privatecitizen.org]
Do what I do... (Score:2)
The URL for Connecticut "No Call" (Score:3, Informative)
Another Option (Score:2, Funny)
another, slightly more dangerous, option.... (Score:5, Funny)
both would get you on the NSA Shitlist real fast...
nbfn
I love cell phones... (Score:2)
Hrmm. I wish there was a service that was kind of like voicemail, except it only plays back a message. "Hi, thanks for calling. I don't want to speak with you. If what you have to say is urgent, email me at this address..."
That'd be worth a few bucks a month to me. Nice thing is: no ringing phones, no voicemail to check.
Any Bets? (Score:4, Funny)
Any bets on whether Verizon's CEO could list all the Rules of Aquisition off the top of his head?
Biggest, Most Effective Telemarketer (Score:2, Interesting)
I do not have long distance service through them, my number is unlisted and blocked, yet they effectively contact me at least once a month (since they control the local phone service in my area).
When asked to be taken off their list, they claim it will take a month to go through yet I continually get called. They say they will send me writen notice about my request but I never receive it.
Anyone else harassed by this 800 pound gorilla?
Get Vonage (Score:2)
State Do Not Call Lists (Score:3, Insightful)
There's also an effort to make a national one [ftc.gov].
And don't forget the DMA lists [dmaconsumers.org].
EULA - On your phone number (Score:3, Interesting)
One way of getting rid of telemarketers... (Score:3, Interesting)
calls a day) regarding changing long distance etc. I thought... why not wasting their time and
money by setting up my answering machine to pick up the call on the second ring? (since their
computer hanged up on the third) Sure enough, they continued to call, and my answering machine
picked up and they had to listen to my message. (they never left any messages.) It continued for
four days and then they took me off their list. I've not had a signle telemarketer calling me from
that day on! I guess they didn't like to get their time wasted and lose money on each call my
answering machine picked up.
I got one... (Score:4, Funny)
Now, I use AT&T for my long distance (got a deal with my cell... when the contract's up, I'll probably change), so I had a little bit of leverage.
This drone wouldn't take "Not interested." for an answer, so I told them, "Hang up NOW, or I will call AT&T and cancel my existing service, and tell them that it was your telemarketing company!"
They hung up.
Recording telemarketers' calls (Score:3, Interesting)
Can We Tape? [rcfp.org] (Summary: In most states, it's legal.)
Though I don't have a link, I am fairly certain this practice is legal in all Canadian provinces also.
Something to think about, if you've ever considered threatening or cursing at a telemarketer (very likely), or if you find they do it to you (less likely).
Anti-telemarketing script (Score:3, Interesting)
Someone please mirror this and reply to this msg to keep it from getting
Re:Anti-telemarketing script (Score:3, Interesting)
Hey, you know, if it is slashdotted it will come back. Slashdotting is not some permanent erasure but a temporary unavailability. Just bookmark it (I have a "slashdotted" folder) and come back in a week.
I worked on the 611 for a Canadian Telco (Score:5, Informative)
The telco trained us to only suggest privacy services as a last resort and try to talk a customer out of it if they requested the features.
Our department was responsible for busting fax marketers that peppered our clients with unwanted junk. But whenever a client called to complain about annoying fax or telemarketing calls they receive at all hours of the night, we had to tell the poor sap to either subscribe to caller ID or spend money to *69 the call. If marketer's number was unlisted, we basically said "tough luck", even when we had the number right on our screen.
An open apology goes out from me to any of you that might have called me to complain about tele/fax marketers. Sorry everybody, THEY made me to it!
There's a slight trick to this..... (Score:4, Funny)
Now, it's obvious that you have to pay to have for an unlisted phone number, but what you don't have to pay for is a phone number with the wrong information on it. To make a long story short, my friend's phone number was listed in the phone book under Mark Twain's real name.
Knowing this, one could use the phone book to look for their phone number. But when telemarketers tried to do this, they'd ask for "Samuel Clemens" at which point my friend would reply with "sorry... you have the wrong number."
Worked like a charm.
simple... (Score:3, Funny)
Simple Solution, No Money Required (Score:5, Interesting)
"Per the Federal Telecommunications Consumer Protection Act of 1990, I would like to be placed on your federally mandated Do Not Call List. I would like written notification of this, and a copy of your Do Not Call policy mailed to me."
This law actually exists. I've just memorized the spiel and can repeat it back verbatim. The amount of calls I get has dropped 90 percent. I found out about it when Sixty Minutes had a thing about it several years back, a guy in New York actually keeps track of the people calling him and sues them if they call him a second time. For $20 mailed to him, he'll even submit your name to the proper Do Not Call lists and then go to bat for you legally if someone violates it. Wish I had a transcript of that one.
Re:Simple Solution, No Money Required (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah, but then I have to give them my address.
It's bad enough already that they have my phone number.
"No call" lists don't include businesses. (Score:3, Insightful)
The "No call" lists don't include businesses. They are only for residential lines. This is absurd. When I get a call at home I can let my asnwering machine say "Telemarketers fuck off, all others leave a message at the beep". I can't do that from a business phone. Yet the "No call" lists won't do business lines. Why is that? That's where I need it most.
Answering machines rock (Score:3, Funny)
I have a cheap-o digital answering machine that I picked up for $15. I keep my ringer off or at least low, keep the volume at a decent level, and set the message to "You've reached blah blah, calls from solicitors will not be returned." This prevents most solicitors from ever getting a hold of me, but there have been a few obnoxious cases where they will rattle off their shpiel, and almost every time it is either due to a political campaign call (in Colorado I've noticed a heavy load of anti-Mike Feely campaigning; whether he's good or bad, his opponent is a scumbag who has sunk to the lowest possible level by calling people with live and automated messages, sending out endless fliers that all repeat the same drivel, etc) or a moronic satellite-dish salesperson. My favorite thing to do when this happens is to pick up the line while they're wasting the space on my machine, and scream "I SAID NO SOLICITORS!" and then hang up. Hopefully that gives them a sufficient jolt.
Personally I think it's rude to be excessively mean and nasty to telemarketers, especially in this crap economy; sure, there are plenty of better jobs they could be looking for, but it's the idiots who actually buy this stuff that perpetuate the cycle, and not the phone-slaves who feel the need to stick with whatever pays the bills. But when they deliberately waste the limited space on my machine after being told "calls from solicitors will not be returned," I feel they've crossed a line and deserve the worst.
Another fun thing to do with them is to let my girlfriend pick up the phone, and as she tries to gently wriggle her way out of the conversation without just slamming down the phone, I belt out in my best, loudest white-trash voice "Whattya doin' woman? Who you talkin' too!?" She whines in her best dimunitive dame voice and I yell at her to hang up the damned phone.
When I was younger and still lived with my parents, I'd just extract a bunch of WAV files from DOOM for DOS using DMAUD, and would create a little batch file to play them back in horrific sequence. *shotgun blast* *imp dies* *demon attack* *human death scream* etc...whoohoo.
Avoiding telemarketers... (Score:4, Interesting)
I get almost no telemarketing calls whatsoever. This is how:
In the last few months, I've gotten two or three "prerecords" -- automated callers that left recorded messages on my voice mail. I reported those to the phone company and California AG, since they are illegal. I have never gotten a telemarketing call to my cell phone, and have never been disturbed by one to my home phone number either.
When California has a do-not-call list, I will list the home phone and cell phone. If that proves to open the floodgates to telemarketers calling my cell phone, I'll just change the number and not repeat that mistake. :)
Re:The Quick Hangup (Score:4, Informative)
Have to tell them to put you on the "do not call" list.
Wisconsin has a no-call law too, effective January 1 2003.
Re:The Quick Hangup (Score:2)
Re:Can't expect... (Score:2)
Wrong. Because the cell phone owner pays for incoming calls, it's illegal to make an unsolicited call to a cell phone. The telemarketers know this and don't call cell phones. Of course as cell phone rates go down I expect for there to be heavy lobying against this rule, but as it stands right now there are legal obstacles to telemarketing to cell phones.