Sysadmins - What's in Your MOTD? 176
permaculture asks: "This is a 'knowledge management' issue, on a University network. For many years we've had a network 'Message of the Day' that appears when any network user logs in. MOTD lists planned service outages for maintenance, progress on current issues, upcoming holidays, and other items that affect network users. Recently, this has been replaced by a page that announces general University business such as Open weeks, upcoming awards etc. There's a link on the page to the network MOTD that used to greet every user immediately after login. Does your network have a 'Message of the Day' that appears at login? Is it a Corporate business page, entirely related to network services, or something else entirely?"
Funny you should ask. (Score:5, Funny)
I was just thinking of upgrading mine. It currently reads:
Re:Funny you should ask. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Funny you should ask. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Funny you should ask. (Score:2)
cat
Illegal division by zero at - line 1.
Your sig (Score:2)
LISP?
Re:Your sig (Score:2)
cat
Debugger entered--Lisp error: (void-variable
eval(/etc/motd)
eval-last-sexp-1(nil)
eval-last-sexp(nil)
call-interactively(eval-last-sexp)
Re:Funny you should ask. (Score:2)
Installing Cygwin should fix that (Score:2)
Re:Installing Cygwin should fix that (Score:2)
Re:Funny you should ask. (Score:2)
'cat' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file.
On windows, you need to use
type C:\WINDOWS\system32\drivers\etc\motd
Re:Funny you should ask. (Score:2)
Re:Funny you should ask. (Score:3, Interesting)
$ cat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ UNAUTHORIZED USERS WILL BE KILLED AND EATEN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unauthorized access prohibited; all access and activities not explicitly
authorized by [ i ] motion design are unauthorized. All activities are
monitored and logged. There is no privacy on this system. Unauthorized
access and activities or any criminal activity will be reported to
appropr
Re:Funny you should ask. (Score:2)
This computer is protected by Vicious Geek Security.
You break it, I break you.
Re:Funny you should ask. (Score:3, Informative)
A special significance of this might be that it's from a university system, like the one in question by the... er, Asker. It's a research ssh account from a University of California system. So, there's at least one response from another university
- dshaw
Re:Funny you should ask. (Score:3, Interesting)
FOAD
Heh, nice one, but I think I trump you... At my job I was asked, together with my colleague, to set new root passwords on all our boxes a while ago. We decided to come up with some pretty tough ones to crack, but just for fucks sake leave the password hints in plain sight.
Enter the MOTD... Right now, anyone logging in at one of our servers is greeted with a tongue-in-cheek taunt to try and figure out the root password. The taunt sentence is the basis from which the password is derived. But the p
MOTD (Score:2)
Message of the *day* (Score:2, Funny)
-rw-r--r-- 1 root root 138 Jul 28 2000
Mine is ... (Score:2)
Re:Mine is ... (Score:5, Funny)
Of course, once he found out who did it, he changed my the folder on my user account from /usr/~john to /dev/floppy until I went begging his forgiveness. I didn't do it again.
Re:Mine is ... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Mine is ... (Score:2)
Wow. (Score:2, Insightful)
I use fortune.
Moore's Law "Disk is 99% full - CleanUp" motd gone (Score:5, Interesting)
Historically there were two common contents for motd - fortune, and a note from the administrator saying that the file system was almost full so please clean up your files, and this applied to just about any multi-user server with just about any operating system. Moore's Law has changed this for most systems I've dealt with - disk capacities have been growing rapidly and prices dropping rapidly, and disk drives really are no longer running 99% full except for individuals' PCs that are full of MP3s or videos. Sometimes you'll see messages like that from MS Exchange Mail Server operators who are running shared mailbox servers on expensive fast disks, but otherwise the disk capacity most places finally outpaces user demand.
Unfortunately, bureaucrats acting as amateur lawyers have typically replaced that message with some badly written threatening legalese drivel that has no clue about what the laws actually say; they'd be just as well off with a message that said "The Wizard says: Go away and come back tomorrow!"
From Mail/Calendaring server (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
We have a new MOTD (Score:2, Funny)
Re:We have a new MOTD (Score:2)
We are the Vogons. Resistance is *USELESS!*
Re:We have a new MOTD (Score:2)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Re:We have a new MOTD (Score:4, Funny)
Resistance is voltage / current.
A quote (Score:3, Interesting)
Message of the eon (Score:5, Funny)
not entirely working in your best interests
-- since 1984 --
Access to and use of this server is restricted to those
activities expressly permitted by the system administion
staff. If you're not sure if it's allowed, DON'T DO IT.
Re:Message of the eon (Score:2)
Oddly enough, motd.org [motd.org] is actually a site advertising what amounts to shell access. They appear to be a month late with delivery.
Notice To Users
This computer system is the private property of user $FOO. It is for authorized use only. Users (authorized or unauthorized) have no explicit or implicit e
why bother, people don't read (Score:5, Insightful)
People don't care about your silly technical problems, they've learned that screaming loudly works, as it does. They don't care that you had to reboot the mail server because Exchange died again, goddammit, they have important email to send, what are you, incompetent?
And, your boss will kiss their ass and make excuses for your failures, and discuss grand schemes to Make Sure It Doesn't Happen Again.
Yes, I work at $LARGE_US_BANK, and this sort of thing does happen. Technologists are only ever the reason that people can't get work done, we're never seen as enablers.
Why do you think the BastardOperatorFromHell is such a powerful meme?
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
Sadly that doesn't seem to be the way Exchange is designed to work.
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
If you can't have at least one of your MXes accept mail and deliver it to the correct mailbox at some point in time, you should not be an admin.
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
The problem is that if I'm typing a mail in Outlook and suddenly it can't access the server any more (network congestion probably) then it panics. When it panics it freeses the mail app and throws up an alert message ("Can't access server.") Naturally since it's using Word to edit the mails that means any other Word documents I'm reading also freeze.
And that, inevitably, leads to a stream of curses from my mouth. (I don't call and blame the IT people though, i
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
Microsoft "fixed" this problem in Outlook XP/2003... ...Instead of freezing, it throws up a balloon that says "Outlook is requesting data." Which is just useless enough to make a user call. "Hey, what the hell does 'Outlook is requesting data' mean?"
Thanks, Bill. Glad we put our eggs in your wicker basket...
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
But to be fair, the helpdesk consisted of idiots that didn't know the first thing about the systems they were supporting, as opposed to the admins that really know what the hell is going on. I had a problem with our sales software one day (erm, well I had problems with it regularly, but thats another matter). I called the helpdesk and explained that such-and-such-sales-sof
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
Maybe they were just annoyed that you chose to kick everyone off the server during trading hours, potentially costing the bank tens of millions of dollars.
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
9 times out of 10, replacing the mail servers and Exchange with *something else* is not an option. You just have to deal with what you've got. If Exchange shits itself every other day and replacing it is out of the question, does that make you incompetent? No.
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
I just have a problem with people who say things like: "Yes, you are incompetent. Use something other than Exchange, and something other than whatever you're running exchange on and you won't have that problem."
Re:why bother, people don't read (Score:2)
I've seen that incompetance, but it doesn't take much incompetance to break things. The Exchange "expert" who came in to do an upgrade failed to apply a paticular patch that stopped the system from being an open relay by default. Along with traps like that there are all the third party add ons (fax gateways etc) which are the whole reason you are using Exchange instead of just an email system in th
What you get when you run file shares.... (Score:2, Funny)
Benden Weyr: Now with 200% more Space Elf-related program activity!
Words of Wisdom (Score:2)
Run Away Screaming.... (Score:2)
May the gods of Blue Mountain send you online greeting cards until you've learned the error of your ways!
Re:Run Away Screaming.... (Score:2)
Re:Run Away Screaming.... (Score:2)
Anyway, the site is crap. But the daily mailing they do is what I'm really talking about. As I understand it, the site is just a tiny subset of the daily quotes that are mailed.
Notice (Score:3, Interesting)
This is a Department of Defense computer system.
This computer system, including all related equipment, networks, and network devices (specifically Internet access), are provided only for authorized U.S. government use.
DoD Computer systems may be monitored for all lawful purposes, including to ensure that their use is authorized, for management of the system, to facilitate protection against unauthorized access, and to verify security procedures, servivability, and operational security. Monitoring includes active attacks by authorized DoD entities to test or verify the security of this system. During monitoring, information may be examined, recorded, copied, and used for authorized purposes. All information, including personal information, placed on or sent over this system may be monitored. There is no expectation of privacy in any information transmitted in or through this system.
Use of this DoD computer system, authorized or unauthorized, constitutes consent to monitoring of this system. Unauthorized use may be subject to criminal prosecution. Evidence collected during monitoring may be used for administrative, criminal, or other adverse action. Use of this system constitutes consent to monitoring for these purposes.
Re:Notice (Score:2)
Re:Notice (Score:2, Funny)
<disclaimer>I am a DOD sysadmin</disclaimer>
Re:Notice (Score:2, Interesting)
(There is a line of stars here, but the Lameness Filter won't accept it)
NOTICE TO USERS
This is a Federal computer system and is the property of the United
States Government. It is for authorized use only. Users (authorized or
unauthorized) have no explicit or implicit expectation of priv
You report your agency? (Score:2)
or
Re:Notice (Score:2)
Very little (Score:2)
Sarbox Bites (Score:3, Interesting)
Many of us can't screw with the MOTD because of the Sarbanes-Oxley Act [wikipedia.org], and are stuck with some legal notice that is it is a private system, you need access, blah blah...
I do plan to watch this thread, hoping for some gems to pop-out though for my private systems :)
Re:Sarbox Bites (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Sarbox Bites (Score:2)
Thanks for pointing out their existence. I'll have to thinker with them when I get home.
Re:Sarbox Bites (Score:2, Insightful)
This is poo.
Most likely this particular complaint stems from the costs associated of external auditors in the auditor independance clause, redesign in compliance with the PCAOB internal controls proceedures, and overall cost of implementation under 404. However, if all this is done correctly, after init
ASCII Goatse in my MOTD (Score:2)
she did not get it.. (Score:2)
I do however remember when a user called an asked us why it said "purple monkey diswasher" instead of the normal legal lingo. Turns out her 'new' pc had been in used in our test evironment, and someone forgot to switch it over before putting it on her desk.
Our motd is user editable (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Our motd is user editable (Score:2)
Not now it isn't.
(still bitter that root hasn't got to my account yet.)
Oooh (Score:2)
Welcome to FreeBSD!
Before seeking technical support, please use the following resources:
o Security advisories and updated errata information for all releases are
at http://www.freebsd.org/releases/ [freebsd.org] - always consult the ERRATA section
for your release first as it's updated frequently.
o The Handbook and FAQ documents are at http://www.freebsd.org/ [freebsd.org] and,
along with the mailing lists, ca
I hate stupid users. (Score:3, Funny)
Rule #2: Do not speak about dienub
Rule #3: Whatever it was in that cool movie
Rule #4: If I dislike your behaviour on this server, I will purge your
account, and publish your entire home directory in a public IRC
channel.
This includes, nonexclusively, sending global messages, using retarded
exploits (Both against this and other servers), ban evasion, etc.
Too many faulty login attempts will get you banned by DenyHosts. Generate a
fucking keypair and use it for authentication. Passwords are insecure.
Sincerely,
Your friendly BOFH.
Rules 1-4 (Score:2)
Obviously not a Python fan... (Score:2)
Source: Philosopher's song sketch
inappropriate motds (Score:2, Funny)
Company gossip
Ascii porn
random line from salaries.xls
latest
grep $bossip
This is at home, but... (Score:2)
Welcome to Darwin!
Warning Mac user (Score:2)
Welcome to Darwin!
Re:Warning Mac user (Score:5, Funny)
Who logs in anymore? (Score:2)
I'd think that, at most schools, bulk email would be the most effective method of communicating with students. The downside to this is that you manage to create a massive ammount of extra data to deal with.
Re:Who logs in anymore? (Score:2)
Granted I use a GUI on my workstation, I spend 99% of my time in terminals.
Re:Who logs in anymore? (Score:2)
Re:Who logs in anymore? (Score:2)
Re:Who logs in anymore? (Score:2)
Of course, since users usually just click "ok" without reading the dialog box, I'm not sure what makes this any different.
the exact text... (Score:2)
MOTD (Score:5, Funny)
Random message of the day (Score:2)
crw-r--r-- 1 root root 1, 9 Apr 21 2006
That should stop the buggers logging in.
no way this is getting past the silly filter... (Score:2)
the natural choice (Score:2)
here's mine, minus the image (Score:2)
------ Probably Not! So Get Off My Box! ------
DISK SPACE IS CRITICALLY LOW! (Score:2)
i expect it was pretty annoying. it was even RED ALL CAPITALS and i had a similar message in /etc/issue.net that was printed with every ssh, sftp, and ftp login.
what i learned was: users do not pay attenti
who are the diskhogs (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:who are the diskhogs (Score:2)
Liberated from here at slashdot (Score:2)
Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck! May all 0ur base someday be belong
to you! May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven. Give us this day our
warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe. And cut us some slack when we
act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too
pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep
the f3i off our backs, we'd appreciate it. For j00 0wn r00t on all
A nice simple one (Score:5, Funny)
A stupid disclaimer (Score:2)
My previous one... (Score:3, Funny)
Dis beez my box.
It don' be real fast.
But if you fuck wit it,
I be kickin' yo ass.
-- Management
Re:My previous one... (Score:2)
Back when I was a sys admin (Score:2)
It didn't take much time, it was fun, and it gave the message a bit of a personal touch. Also, if I needed to announce something, I could be sure that people would be looking to see what the message was. YMMV, not every place has a style that accomdates whimsy. As they say in Japan: "The nail that sticks up gets hammered dow
my motd (Score:2)
Re:Server name (Score:2)
Re:NiN (Score:2)
Re: Broken english version (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)