Have You Seen This Segway? 505
Kringle writes "An April 28th theft of a Segway from a home in Kent, Washington appears to be the first of its kind. The Smoking Gun has a copy of the police report. The good news is that the thief didn't get the keys and is lugging around a big paperweight. No word yet from the Grand Theft Auto team about including a Segway in their next game release."
Finally.. (Score:5, Funny)
Kamen just needed some quick cash! (Score:4, Funny)
In Other News (Score:5, Funny)
Aparently once considered "only fat" by friends and colleagues, the complete cessation of any physical activity brought on the the purchase of the segway has caused Schmeckel to gain an astonishing 250lbs in 3 months. He is now unable to walk from his desk to the kitchen without assistance.
Schmeckel is quoted as saying -- "I'm just glad all my friends from the EQ community have banded together and helped me out during my time of need".
Tape at 11.
rofl! I think you meant to post one story down! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Finally.. (Score:5, Funny)
I would say yes [www.uta.fi]
Re:Finally.. (Score:3, Insightful)
this is just like my stolen HP-48GX (Score:3, Funny)
Years later, I still laugh when I think about the morons trying to use such a calculator, since entering something as simple as "2 + 2" yields an error for invalid syntax (again, for those who dont know RPN, you would have to enter "2 ENTER 2 ENTER +" to get the result.
they probably thought it was broken and ditched it.
In related news... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:In related news... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:In related news... (Score:3, Insightful)
Gee! (Score:5, Funny)
insurance? (Score:2, Funny)
i see the future, segway chop shops... awe yeah.
Re:insurance? (Score:4, Informative)
Re:insurance? (Score:5, Informative)
His homeowner's policy wants his auto insurance to pay for it, his auto insurance wants his homeowner's to pay for it - Catch 22.
He's fed up with the whole thing, so he just wants to pay a $300 reward (no questions asked) for his Segway's return. He even said during the interview that the thieves just needs to tell him that they found it in the bushes.
Re:insurance? (Score:3, Insightful)
Steal a Segway? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Steal a Segway? (Score:4, Funny)
All I know is that I wouldn't want one if you threw it after me... in fact, I might throw it right back.
My best guess is that the celebral challenged induvidual who decided to liberate this piece of overpriced, overhyped garbage thought it was one of those old handpushed lawnmovers... ;
Lame (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Lame (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Lame (Score:5, Funny)
Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George had one of those motorized scooters, and was being chased by a gang of elderly people, also on scooters, at about 3 MPH.
Re:Lame (Score:2, Interesting)
No, not really. Sluggy Freelance did it. Except it was called a Smegvay. Just don't let the tip over [sluggy.com].
Re:Lame (Score:2, Funny)
Ignition Details? (Score:4, Funny)
Above all, I wouldn't want to be using that thing when the police put out the APB.
"He's slowly getting away, sir!"
Re:Ignition Details? (Score:3, Informative)
Couldn't bring yourself to read the article, huh?
From the article: "There's no way they can hot-wire it,'' said Valentine, a retired merchant marine officer."
He said the Segway can't be started without the key, which includes a computer chip.
Re:Ignition Details? (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Ignition Details? (Score:2)
Last I checked, 'stolen' and 'hotwired' had distinctly different meanings.
I don't even want to get into market penetration, the prevalence of master keys, and other factors that make it easy to steal accords and apply to cars rather than segways.
Re:Ignition Details? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Ignition Details? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Ignition Details? (Score:3, Interesting)
No, stealing card isn't my side-business, but a neighbor asked if there was any way for me to get their car started after part of their kid's plastic toy was stuck in the key hole.
Re:Ignition Details? (Score:3, Funny)
But.... The Segway can not be started without the approved key.
Re:Ignition Details? (Score:2)
All these examples are overgeneralizations.
For the perp to steal the segway and "hotwire" it, he would need to have the followin
Re:Ignition Details? (Score:2, Troll)
Hmmm...deja vroom.
Re:Ignition Details? (Score:2, Funny)
Hotwiring a Segway (Score:5, Informative)
Afaik, the Segway uses a version of the iButton which stores a small amount of other data in addition to the serial number. So, what the Segway probably does is check that the serial number matches what it expects, and also reads the data in the iButton to determine things like the maximum speed it's allowed to go. IIRC, at least one of the Segway keys is speed-limited, for "valet parking" etc.
So, to hotwire a Segway electronically (as opposed to somehow bypassing the electronic circuitry, if that's possible), you need to at least (a) determine what iButton serial number your Segway expects (hmm - wonder if it's printed on the Segway somewhere?) and (b) build a small iButton simulator which generates the required signal, using the documented OneWire protocol. However, you'd need to do some additional work to simulate the data storage on the iButton. You'd probably need to reverse engineer an existing Segway iButton key for that part - which should be easy, if you have access to a key.
Bottom line: hotwiring a Segway would take some work, and it would be tough without access to a Segway key to play with, but once you'd done one, it might be pretty easy to do the next one. A big question is how easy it would be to determine the serial number it expects, if you don't have the key. That could be a real barrier.
BTW, if you want a much more secure authentication mechanism, the Java version of the iButton will do public/private key encryption on the button, so it can be sent a challenge encrypted with your public key, and it will decrypt it with your private key and send it back to the challenger. Now that should be hard to hack.
Re:Hotwiring a Segway (Score:5, Funny)
score -1, too realistic, get search warrent for his garage.
Re:Ignition Details? (Score:5, Informative)
If the makers were really clever, it may not be possible to make a matching key even if you tear apart the Segway. They may have designed it using a non-invertable cryptographic hash such that the code in the Segway can be derived from the code in the key, but not vice versa. In that case the only way to do it would be to rekey the Segway, but they could have made that very difficult.
See Hacking Segway Keys [robot.net] for more information. That's mostly about modifying a key to change the performance characteristics (increasing the speed limit), but it talks about the key code as well.
Here it is! (Score:2, Funny)
Where the Segway comes from. (Score:4, Interesting)
An IBot has four modes: "Normal" (basically a conventional wheelchair), 4-wheel (all wheels powered) stair-climbing (really!) and Balance. Take an IBot, remove all the modes except Balance, remove the ability to reposition the chair vertically, replace the chair with a foot-level platform, and replace the joystick with a fancy system for guiding the vehicle with instinctive body movements. Result: a Segway.
Eventually, you're going to see physically disabled people cruising around town in IBots. Balance seems to be the most popular and useful mode, so a lot of people are going to mistake them for Segways. Undoubtedly, some asshole will come up and say, "You stupid Yuppie! Why don't you use the legs God gave you!?"
For that matter... (Score:5, Funny)
No word yet from the Paperboy team, either.
It's as good as gone (Score:5, Insightful)
BMW used to say that too. Thieves are better at these things than most people think they are.
Re:It's as good as gone (Score:5, Funny)
Re:It's as good as gone (Score:4, Insightful)
"There's no way they can copy this..."
"There's no way they can crack it..."
Wanted to Buy (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wanted to Buy (Score:3, Funny)
Believe it or not, there's one which has just arrived
for sale [ebay.com]
</virgin Marry kind of innocent>
The Simpsons come to Mind (Score:5, Funny)
My guess as to who stole it (Score:5, Funny)
b.) Captain Crunch found out how to hotwire it with a few wires and a toy from a box of cracker jacks. (+1 for 2600 reference)
c.) Druggie who had no clue and is trying to sell it.
d.) Vandals.
e.) It's a publicity stunt by the company selling them in a bid to both get attention, and show how "useless" it would be to steal one (Implying that even if yours is stolen, Insurance will replace it and the thief won't benefit from ti anyway)
Re:My guess as to who stole it (Score:2, Troll)
(1) 83 pounds, and he doesn't carry it inside? Come on. That beats even the "too lazy to walk" thing.
(2) $5000 toy, $5 chain. Get a real lock.
GTA (Score:2)
I'd like to see you make a perfect insane stunt with that one! :-)
zRe:GTA (Score:2)
Screw a perfect insane stunt. I want to shoot people on Segways, run them down with a car or garbage truck, or just knock 'em off and beat them to death.
Priorities? (Score:5, Insightful)
911? IIRC, that's that newfangled emergency number. You know, for emergencies. Like heart attacks and SARS. Not missing pieces of metal and plastic.
Re:Priorities? (Score:2)
They told me to call 911.
Go figure.
Re:Priorities? (Score:2)
Also, you'd have great difficulty trying to contact the Kent police by telephoning 911. From memory, 999 (UK number) or 112 (international number) would work better.
Actually, 911 isn't just for emergencies (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Priorities? (Score:2)
Re:Priorities? (Score:4, Funny)
Wow - what a coincidence. My local emergency number is 911 too.
Re:Priorities? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Priorities? (Score:5, Funny)
SARS. Indeed.
Operator: "911, please state your emergency."
Caller: "(garbled) please help! There's (garbled) with SARS, and (garbled) me!
Operator: "Ma'am, you need to calm down. Please repeat what you just said."
Caller: "There's a MAN with SARS, and he's coming towards--oh, Jesus God--"
Operator: "All right, ma'am, you need to tell me where you are right now. Is he threatening you with the SARS?"
Caller (whispering): "He's right there...I don't know if he can--oh, no, no, NO! GO AWAY! PLEASE! DON'T--"
Operator: "Ma'am? Ma'am? We've traced your location, and a unit is on the way. We need you to stay right where you are. Ma'am?"
Re:Priorities? (Score:4, Funny)
And the non-emergency number IS? (Score:3, Interesting)
Once I actually got so frustrated that I did call 911, and as soon as the operator got on the line, explained, "This is NOT an immediate emergency, but I need the non-emergency number for the police." The operator u
Re:Priorities? (Score:5, Insightful)
Period.
Call 411 and ask for the "Non-emergency number" for the Kent Police Department. They'll give you 911.
You should check your facts before posting (yeah, call me flamebait...)
Pinto thieves are getting desperate... (Score:2)
I love the article... (Score:2)
i love how supposed "technical" people reveal their lack of knowlege.
ANYTHING can be hacked or hot-wired.
I find it funny. someone basically leaves a $5000.00 bicycle outside and is suprised that it was stolen, this should not suprise anyone espically with a high-profile item like the segway.
Segway Theft Rates (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe it wasn't stolen... (Score:2)
My theory is that he had major buyer's remorse and decided to cut the chain, get rid of the segway and collect the insurance. Why else would he pick such an easy to cut chain?
an Ebay seller will deliver his new one now. (Score:5, Interesting)
Why? That is another question. I was almost run over by one of these things on the sidewalk in Manhattan the other day. Mr. UpperWestSide Yuppie was navigating the sidewalk, including the wheelchair cut-outs at intersections with some aplomb, but I really had to suppress an urge to just knock him off the damn thing.
I can only pray that they don't figure out a way to build and market a Segway stroller. Oh my God, the thought just makes me shudder. GPS, 802.11g web nanny-cam....the horror, the horror.
Police should be on the lookout . . . (Score:5, Funny)
GTA? (Score:2)
Re:GTA? (Score:2)
I personally think that the scooter would blow a segway away... see i have second gear and ooh third.
Re:GTA? (Score:2)
From the police report (Score:2)
Good grief. Can't ya just see the owner having a hissy fit over how amazingly special he and his Segway are, and how this is no ordinary theft, and the cop wedging the "unique" commentary in there just to shup him up?
That said, I'm intrigued by this c
Segway: Bad for health (Score:5, Interesting)
I'm sure in 30 years time, there will be a study done linking Segway use (if everyone has one eventually) with heart disease. It's simply not right to encourage people to have a 100% sedentary lifestyle. Get up and MOVE.
Thief steals Segway, flees on foot (Score:2)
APB (Score:2)
Somebody call the Profiler! (or CSI)
Mandatory Simpson's quote (Score:2)
The best way for a Segway... (Score:2)
Well worth the effort of nicking one, assuming you happen to have decent systems integration skills _and_ a criminal bent. You could have not only the worlds first fly by wire RC helicopter, but one made entirley of stolen parts.
gotta love this (Score:2)
The officer's description of the Segway:
"Unique Motorized Two Wheeled Walking Machine"
This one speaks for itself:
"Ballantine indicated that he was the only one to have the machine in the south puget sound area"
How to keep your Segway from being stolen... (Score:5, Informative)
Rumor has it that.... (Score:5, Funny)
Tonight, they're going to take it out for a whirr-by shooting.
Ballantine != Valentine (Score:2)
One says "Gary Valentine" is the owner, while the other says "Robert Ballantine".
Either one of the reports has the wrong name, or we're talking about different incidents.
Since "Ballantine" appears in a handwritten police report, it is more credible.
Other useless getaway vehicles (Score:2)
You just can't imagine someone making a fast getaway on one of these. Even sillier, however, is the threat faced by people who use unicycles as transport... if anyone tried to nick one of those you'd find it abandoned a few metres away after they gave up in disgust.
Did they look behind the bins round the corner after the thief realised he just didn't want the damn segway anyway?
Phil
how to secure you segway ht... (Score:2, Informative)
http://www.bookofseg.com/secure.html [bookofseg.com]
cheers,
pt
Segway Rant (Score:4, Insightful)
First off if you are considering buying one of these things, goto your cabinet, find one of those things they call a pot, hit yourself on the head.
Secondly, realize that you can do all that a Segway can do WITH A BIKE!!!! All that and you get EXERCISE. Now I understand that the segway is a perfect personification of the Lazy Fat American Dream, but really exercise is gooooood.
A bike also weighs less, costs less, and can go down stairs, on grass and dirt.
Don't get me wrong the tech is pretty cool, but it's evil I'm sure the thief will return it with a note "Sorry it looked awfully fancy for a paperweight, I thought it might actually have been useful."
Re:Segway Rant (Score:5, Insightful)
find something better that works -for me- and i'll gladly try it. don't just say everyone should use a bicycle.
cheers,
pt
Re:Segway Rant (Score:3, Interesting)
Saved over $600 a month? What kind of fuzzy math is that? How can it give you more time? A car goes much faster than a segway, therefore it will get you there faster (in most cases). Unless you are using it for short commutes, in which case your saving $600 figure makes no se
Re:Segway Rant (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Segway Rant (Score:3, Interesting)
I used CompuServe and (later) the Internet to send e-mail and conduct research, long before most people knew what a modem was.
I bought CD players when all my friends said cassette tapes were fine and that I was being an audio snob.
I loved the Mac GUI when it came out, and recognized its appeal to the masses. The command-line snobs pooh-poohed it as a silly toy.
I supported OS/2 when it brought powerful object-o
Somewhere on the outskirts of Kent, WA... (Score:4, Funny)
Hacking Segway Keys (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Why Bother? (Score:2, Funny)
"What are you in for?"
"Grand theft Segway."
consequences... (Score:5, Funny)
"What're you in for?"
"Oh, we were caught rip" "RIPPING A MAN TO PIECES!"
---
"What're you in for?"
"Oh, I got caught stealing a seg.....ment of a man's intestines...right outta his body...with my bare hands! While he watched!"
Oh yeah, hard time in the big house for this one...
I'd love to see the look on the judge's face if this guy is ever brought to trial. "You stole a _what_?!"
Re:GTA and the segway (Score:4, Funny)
Re:GTA and the segway (Score:3, Funny)
Having Realized just how lame cruising around at a leisurely 11mph is when being chased down by cops with guns, the developmen team for GTA4 has decided to include the segway as a primarily NPC used conveyance. This they claim will allow for more interesting shootouts with cops and thugs.
One developer upon condition of anonymity stated, "When you see a segway coming down the road it feels imperative to remove that wanker from the gene pool, not gank his ride!"
Re:GTA and the segway (Score:2)
read this post (Score:2)
There's your answer
Re:Think about it, (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Good luck getting it started (Score:2)
Re:Same story, different day (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Grand Theft Auto? (Score:2)
Re:You must be new here... (Score:3, Funny)
1) Imagine a beowulf cluster of...
2) All your base...
3) Profit!
4) In Soviet Russia...
5) Micro$oft Sux
Also, feel free to post duplicate stories and mangle spelling and grammar. Again, welcome to Slashdot.
Re:Isn't 911 an emergency number? (Score:3, Funny)