Do-It-Yourself "Dungeons and Dragons" Film Review

dead sun writes: "Well, thought I'd write in to say that I've now seen the D&D movie and am probably a worse off person for having done so. The only positive note that I can think of is that my friend works at a theater and got me in free to the midnight showing before anybody else was allowed in, and that's only positive because I didn't have to pay." Read more of Dead Sun's reaction below, and anyone else who's seen the movie, please join in the discussion. Was it really this bad?!

"I honestly think that this is a disgrace to everything I had hoped it would be. The plot line was thin at best, the acting was horrible, the lines sounded like they were being read from cards during some scenes. The movie stole so many parts from Star Wars that I'm sure George Lucas is going to be trembling and crying if he sees the movie. All of them too, not just one of the Star Wars movies but all four. A slew of other movies were taken from as well to try to make some semblance of a plot, Indiana Jones, there was a Jurrasic Park scene, we even found a way to bring in Goonies. I was pretty suprised that Ewoks didn't jump out of the background in parts.

I guess I was hoping for more from the movie. I don't think many people are going to be happy with it, the dragon scenes were about the best parts, and those seemed way too short, considering that the rest of the acting didn't do much for the plot anyway. Why not throw in some more eye candy? At any rate the dragons were really neat, but a lot of the other CG was pretty poor. And no amount of special effects were going to make up for the poor acting, plot, and obvious rip offs of other movies."

Re:D&D Update

> there is some good news coming. Apparently a really cool director's cut with some 14 extra scenes is going to be released either on DVD or even possibly in some theaters as a late release reel.

Take a bad movie by a bad director, add on a half hour of what the director felt were the most worthless scenes of the movie, and that's "good news coming?" To whom? A future incarnation of MST3K?

Reviews.

Heh. [rottentomatoes.com]

• "Longtime opponents of the hobby might be tempted to ask themselves an important question: How could this sort of overblown silliness pose any threat, except as a monumental time-killer?" -- Philip Booth, ORLANDO WEEKLY

• "This film's only hope is to reach an audience too young to recognize its blatant rip-offs." -- E! ONLINE

  "Dungeons and Dragons is the fantasy genre at its worst and will likely disgruntle even the most die-hard role-playing wonks." -- Rob Blackwelder, SPLICED ONLINE

  "Gamer geeks, I speak your language! And I warn you: Flee!" -- Cody Clark, MR. SHOWBIZ

  "As inept as his direction is, Solomon's script is worse, an awful screenplay that shamelessly swipes some of its characters and scenes from the Star Wars movies without as much as a simple acknowledgment." -- Jeff Vice, DESERET NEWS

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Re:D&D is EVIL!!!

..And the Church isn't? Pretty much everything you are claiming D&D will do to impressionable young minds the Knights Templar did in the name of the Christ. Not to mention the horrors visited upon every pagan in the old and new world in the name of Christianity. Rape, torture, burning, mutilation...great examples. Betcha more horrors have been committed in the name of God than D&D.
Thanks but no thanks. The guys I played D&D with are all decent, hardworking citizens who are productive members of society. Haven't yet met a truly tolerant Christian. ( Not that there aren't any, just never met one..) Mention homosexuality or wiccan and they rush to find the sections of the bible to support their bigotry and self-righteousness. Nevermind the sections that talk about tolerance, love for one another... that doesn't matter... IIRC it was religious nuts that stood outside the funeral of the Matthew Shepard who was beaten to death and hung on a fence in Montana by homophobes, not D&D players. "Christians" chanted and demonstrating that he deserved what he got and telling his parents that the boy was burning in hell... riiiight. And you claim D&D promotes unhealthy attitudes...

Color me a D&D player of old, and a Freethinker. Keep your organized religion. I'd much rather my son and daughter play D&D than absorb the values taught by your religion...

3C

Re:D&D is EVIL!!!

> Dungeons & Dragons is a wholly evil, demonic, and dangerous game that corrupts the minds of our nation's youth.

Au contraire, I think D&D is a nice, safe way for young children to learn to handle magical weapons and dangerous spells before they grow up and get their hands on the real things.

Responsible behavior is the result of a socialization process.

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Okay then... let's see it!

I saw the movie, and although I don't think it was the worst thing I've ever seen, it certainly wasn't that good. It was, however, probably the best fantatsy movie since Willow. And that's not saying much.

Now here's the thing - all the posts I read make some comment along the line of "I could've written a better script". Well then, why are there so few decent fantasy movies out there? Every fantasy nut (I'm one myself) seems to think that every fantasy that comes out is nearly garbage, and that it would be terribly easy to make a better film. Will somebody please do it then? The guy who directed this got it made out of sheer will (first time director - just pushed until he got the deal). I wish to god that some of these genius scriptwriters/directors at Slashdot would put the effort in - half so that there would be a better film, and half so that they would shut up for a while.

I'm an amateur filmaker myself (Vendetta: A Christmas Story [crazyeddy.com]). No matter how much I suck, at least I'm doing something.

play the game

first off you have to have played the game in order to understand the movie. This movie is not a theatrical masterpiece, because the subject matter is somewhat tongue-in-cheek.
then you have to deal with a first time director. the director secured the movie rights when he was 19 (ten years ago) and he was coerced into directing the movie because of how diligent he was in getting the movie done in the first place.
third, you have a bunchy of whiners that go into the movie expecting perfection or the best cgi ever, but forget that the entire movie was only done on a budget of $35 million.
forthly, people also lambasted star wars episode one for its campiness, but forget that its more a childrens movie than a serious movie for adults. just because the reviewer has no grasp of the subject matter doesn't always mean that he knows what is best for the rest of the populace.

remember you can't be serious when you see this movie. take it for what it is, a table top game with all of its over the top antics turned into a movie.

i would write out my entire diatribe, but this will remain modded down to -1, like all my nice comments....bah...slashdot moderators suck!

Relation between Fantasy and computing?

I have long been fascinated by the strange relation between fantasy fiction and computer nerds. Why is this?

I would guess that it is because in their daily life, the computer nerd is very logical, indeed Spock like, and generally fits the INTP Myers Brigg personality profile (INTP = Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving). They also find it difficult to relate socially with other people, and indeed resort to usenet, IRC, weblogs etc such is their secret hunger for socialisation.

I think that fantasy allows an escape from these logical and social bindings. The computer nerds are free at last to let their imaginations soar upwards to the high plains of fantasy, and the roleplaying elements of D&D allow for socilisation as well.

Indeed, it has been known for some to become so entranced and invloved that they refuse to come out of it, which can become unhealthy. I have personally known two such people, and one of them had to be treated by a psychiatrist.

Still, in moderate amounts, I think that fantasy, D&D, and the like are very healthy pursuits for a nerd, and may give hime confidence in the wider world. As long as he is old enough to deal with the reality confusion that in depth play can sometimes engender, I have no problem with it.

KTB:Lover, Poet, Artiste, Aesthete, Programmer.

It wasn't _that_ bad...

I went and saw it with a bunch of the guys from BioWare (I'll let them post their own responses ;p), and I can honestly say it wasn't as bad as I expected. It could have been a lot worse. Some of the CGI was pretty, and the overall plot wasn't horrible, and it was essentially a pretty average movie.
Unfortunately, there were more than a few moments of complete and utter suck. Usually these moments happened when one of the characters opened their mouth. There were honestly groans at some of the dialogue at quite a few points in the movie ... the Empress specifically. I've seen junior high drama students who've got better acting ability. Most of the other actors weren't much better, and even worse, they weren't given much of a script to work with. The dialogue was clumsy, it was seriously Hollywood-ized at points, and there were far too many Star Wars references to count. Ultimately though, for the sole reason that it wasn't as bad as I was expecting, I'd call it a 2 star movie. Certainly not something I'm going to buy on DVD when it comes out, but I've paid seven bucks to see worse movies. If you're going to go, go with a bunch of friends and heckle the hell out of it ... at the very least you'll leave the theatre knowing that you could have written a better script. --- Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!

I disagree, it was alomst perfect

The movie felt exactly as I though D&D should feel. Like a handful of adolescents spending an afternoon roleplaying. The plot felt like a normal guy (the dungeonmaster) could come up with it mostly as he went along, which makes me feel less bad that many parts felt like scenes of other movies. Although I agree there could have been more/better CG, I think the movie did a very admirable job convenying what the "average D&D adventure" probably would look like from the "inside".

Imagine how aweful a movie that tried to take itself more seriously would have been. It would almost certainly not have satisfied the self-declared "purists", and would have been even less understandable to the rest of the audience.

I think you should save your dissatisfaction for "Lord of the Rings", which is actual a wonderful story, and will undoubtedly be ugly and mangled beyond recognition in its film rendition.

All movies based on games suck

The track record to date for live-action movies based on games is terrible. All of the following were flops:

• Street Fighter
• Mortal Kombat
• Wing Commander
• Super Mario Bros. (which, however, is funny)

Tomb Raider is in production. That could be the next Indiana Jones franchise, but probably not.

Comic books do better, probably because they have plot and character development. Superman, Batman, and X-men have all been made into successful movies. Games don't have enough literary depth to carry over into film.

This Movie Breaks The Laws of Physics..

.. by proving that something CAN suck and blow at the same time. *Shudder*

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CitizenC
My name is not 'nospam,' but 'citizenc'.

Re:Relation between Fantasy and computing?

"Kiss the Blade" asks: I have long been fascinated by the strange relation between fantasy fiction and computer nerds. Why is this?

...and then goes on about social isolation, seeking social interaction on-line, etc, laced with stereotypes.

Some time ago I read an alertbox [useit.com] column which had an interesting point about gui interfaces (tried for about 15 minutes to locate it again... it's in there somewhere).

Jakob describes the early non-gui interfaces (eg. unix) as "black caves". The user needs to form a mental image in their mind of the the directories, files, and other resources, and then type commands to operate on them with little or no on-screen information, in much the same way you'd have to navigate through a black cave, keeping a mental picture of where you are. He claims the early computer interfaces worked well for engineers, because of their superior ability to form mental models, but ended up being worthless for ordinary users.

Indeed, D & D appeals to people who naturally have this ability to form mental models. Perhaps playing D & D helps one learn and improve their ability to form mental models. I believe the more likely scenario is that the game has a fairly high barrier to entry, in terms of using mental models and imagination, and at least to start playing and enjoy it enough to continue, you either have it or you don't. Considerable time spent playing probably improves one's mental modeling abilities, much like experience using non-gui computer interfaces, but to get started and actually enjoy the game, as a player or DM, you really need to have that ability to envision the D & D world.

Programming computers is certainly a persuit which requires forming mental models. Programming does involve some work to compose the code, and learning to do this is similar to the effort required to learn a natual language, though computer languages are much simpler and have a very limited vocabulary. I believe it is this natural ability for form mental models which makes programming fun for some (whom you refer to as "nerds"), where for most people it seems like very hard work.

Frederick P Brooks writes in The Mythical Man-Month:

...there is a delight of working in such a tractable medium. The Programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-stuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the imagination.

Perhaps imagination and mental models are a skill, of maybe it's inate, wired into ones brain from the beginning. Those who have it seem to have it much much moreso that those how have little or none. This ability is the key element that makes programming and role playing fun and interesting, and for the majority of the population without these abilities of mental modeling and a lack of imagination, programming seems like drudgery and D & D seems like a waste of time.

BTW: the movies still sucks.

Geeks and narratives.

Unfortunately, for the "unredeemed" geek who never gets an education in realms outside of math and science, there is too often a sort of stunted aesthetic growth - an inability to look at narrative in any but the most literal, transparent, "I wanna be like this guy" kind of way. Escapism is part of the story, a simplicity of imagination is another part of it. It may be part of a tragedy of hyper-specialization that occurs when one is merely taking refuge in, rather than building on, their intelligence.

I know this sounds cruel or pompous, but there are geeks who are so far from "getting it" - who will never understand why we could tell a movie like this was a stinker from a thousand miles away - just as there as some people who are so clueless about technology that it's almost pointless to try to explain it to them. Which is fine - we all have our blind spots - until they try to engage you on those topics. Having a discussion with a stereotypically 'unlettered' geek about film or books or art is as frustrating as having a conversation with a suit or your grandma* about technology. And like the luddite who brags about being clueless about computers, it's also sort of sad to see geeks brag about being clueless about art, literature, and film outside of science fiction.

*Please, no anecdotes about your asm-coding circuit-soldering grandmas. You know what I'm talking about.

What a complete pile of rubbish!

The relationship between Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and "Nerds" has nothing at all to do with some psycho-babble about introverts, anti-socials, and psychiatric patients!

It has to do with the same thing that further relates all of the above with music as well. I think if you were to do an indepth study of "nerds", you'd find a very large proportion who not only appreciate Sci-Fi and Fantasy works, but are also musically inclined - or artistically inclined via another medium.

What is this "thing" I speak of? It's called imagination. One cannot be creative if one cannot imagine the solution to a computing problem/compelling work of fiction/cutting edge song/fascinating painting/etc.

The fact is, all computer geeks are creative individuals - they have to be or they cannot possibly understand the complexities of modern computing environments. It is a strong imagination that fuels this creativity, and that lends itself perfectly to the appreciation of all things creative. Sci-Fi and Fantasy arts tend to push the edge of the imaginary possibilities, and are thus favored by those with the strongest sense of imagination.

Blame it on the Director

The Director is to blame for the story with holes. The Director is to blame for bad acting. The Director is to blame for all of those shots where the other characters are sitting and staring at the speaker and not doing anything else.

We all know that Mr. Irons is a great actor. I personally thought that Thora Birch was good in American Beauty. So why is the acting in this so bad? The director didn't have a clue.

Some of the stinkyness of this movie can be blamed on the studio for not supplying a good mentor for the first time director. I think they did a good job for the small budget and lack of directing experience. But it is still a stinker of a movie.

D&D Update

Up here in Canada, I'm tied (work-wise, not with rope) to the distributors of the film - Alliance Atlantis - and there is some good news coming. Apparently a really cool director's cut with some 14 extra scenes is going to be released either on DVD or even possibly in some theaters as a late release reel. This would be similar to the Clue scenarios and even more appropriately Jurassic Park. I don't know if anyone remembers seeing the Director's Cut Version of JPark in theaters, but I was really into that flick at the time, and the third time I saw it there must have been 10 extra scenes making it run a half hour longer. The same should be true here. There is no official release on this, but my source is usually pretty reliable for stuff like this. Anyway, the film is pretty solid, and the extra scenes should make it damn cool.

1. 
   humor for the clinically insane [mikegallay.com]
   

Re:What a complete pile of rubbish!

Is your point about lutes players, or about geeks? I think you're trying to diss lutes.

-Paul Komarek

You have to play the game?!?!

Apologies in advance for the flame-tone of this, but: that is the one of the stupidest things I've heard in I don't know how long. A bad movie is a bad movie is a bad movie, and any movie that depends on you having interacted with its source material to be enjoyed or appreciated is a bad movie. You know what the movie should do? It should make you want to play the game, or read the book, or whatever. Peopl don't spend $35 million to filming a collection of in-jokes. Jeez, you should just watch the Summoner Geeks video [techtv.com] if that's what you want.

Hilarious and homoerotic

There's just something incredibly funny about a buff bald guy with blue lipstic saying, "Give me the rod"

C+ or maybe B-

OK, first the bad parts.
- piecemeal character development
Did the dwarf even have a name? D&D the game (not that I play it) is all about character development, and the movie lacked it sorely. Of course, the main few characters were explored decently, but at the expense of everyone else, apparently. (also made many individual scenes highly predictable)

- cheesy RPG style plot
The Empire is in danger. To save it, an unlikely assortment of characters band together. They need to find a magical artifact. To get that one they need ANOTHER one. Swashbuckling along the way. Yadda yadda, blah blah. Good guys win.

- a Wayans brother
'nuff said.

But now to the upsides...
- effects used tastefully
In recent years there's been a glut of eye-candy movies, that have no draw besides the special effects. This was not one of them. Effects were used sparingly and appropriately, and the integration of computer animation with live action was nearly seamless.

- decent acting
Snails was rather annoying, but I suppose in some sort of good way. Damadar was highly convincing. And the "not all mages are evil!" scene, though extremely cheesy, demonstrated that some actors can actually ACT like REAL PEOPLE in a movie.

- Tom Baker
Did anyone else catch that the healing elf was frickin Tom Baker? w00t!

- it was entertaining
In the end, does anything else really matter, so long as the movie was entertaining? The guy quoted in the official post must have really high movie standards if he thinks he could have spent 2 hours and $0 just sooooo much better in some other way. I paid not only for myself but for my girlfriend and I feel fairly satisfied.

MoNsTeR