Dilbert's Ultimate House 290
angkor writes "Dilbert's Ultimate House (DUH) is the product of the combined wisdom of thousands of Dilbert readers, plus the help of real world experts, and it's online for viewing at dilbert.com/duh. Are you tired of tripping over the cat's litter box in your bathroom? Dilbert's house has its own bathroom just for the cat. Do you hate dragging a Christmas tree into the house every December just to throw it away in January? Dilbert's house has a huge closet off of the Great Room where he stores a fully decorated artificial tree on wheels..."
Cat bathroom, but.. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Cat bathroom, but.. (Score:3, Funny)
"where is ratbert's toidy?"
Being a rat, anywhere he chooses.
"I may not be smart, but I'm aerodynamic!" -Ratbert
Cat room no good. (Score:5, Informative)
Move the box behind the door, away from the windows and food/bed, and your cat will stop pooping all over the house.
Also, cats don't need a stairway to climb 2.5 feet unless you have kittens.
Re:Cat room no good. (Score:5, Interesting)
Not applicable to /. readers (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Not applicable to /. readers (Score:5, Funny)
It has to have an excercise room, otherwise you couldn't not use it.
Re:I'm confused (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Not applicable to /. readers (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:Not applicable to /. readers (Score:4, Interesting)
I'll have you know I regularly ride a bike over 100 miles each weekend. It's amazing how much you can totally geek out on GPS/HR monitor/Cadence/Altimeter, etc. Check out out he HAC4.
My ultimate apartment was next to the hardware store, within walking distance of grocery and many restaurants and across the street from a theater with stadium seating. Too bad it was about 40 miles from all the cool electronics shops in Silicon Valley.
Three most important points to consider when buying a house (or renting an apartment):
Location
Location
Location
Kids, Wife? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Kids, Wife? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Kids, Wife? (Score:4, Insightful)
He also suggested that we (I'm a member of the DNRC of course
Since it's a no maintenance house and has separate areas for the pets and kids, it may stand a chance of achieving that goal!
Re:Kids, Wife? (Score:5, Funny)
Well, he did have a girlfriend... (Score:5, Funny)
...and after they'd been dating for several weeks, Scott Adams drew one strip where Dilbert shows up to work with his necktie completely flat.
Re:Kids, Wife? (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Kids, Wife? (Score:4, Insightful)
This could be a poll question. If you're married, what was it that you really wanted:
A. laid
B. blow job ...
I can't believe how many times I've heard a newlywed engineer say: "All I wanted was ".
Re:Kids, Wife? (Score:3, Interesting)
Yep, I've seen this behavior all too often. The problem with it is, these stupid girls wait around until they're 30-something until they finally figure out that the loser mental case they're dating is never going to hold a steady job, and when they start looking for stable men with a good income who don't beat her, they've either become so disenfranchised and bitter that they've given up on looking for
Re:Kids, Wife? (Score:2)
What do you get... (Score:5, Funny)
slashdot effect?
Re:What do you get... (Score:2)
Surprisingly, The house from the Dilbert TV series looks nothing like this. I Guess dilbert cannot afford the house on his pay in the dot bomb era.
As with all things that belong to Dilbert.... (Score:5, Funny)
And does Bob and his brood still live under the couch?
soil (Score:5, Insightful)
Come on.
That greenhouse [dilbert.com] needs a good hydroponics system if Dilbert's looking to get any quality chronic.
Re:soil (Score:2)
A quality security system [remington.com] certainly wouldn't hurt either.
Re:soil (Score:3, Insightful)
Luxury! (Score:5, Funny)
Kid's rooms (Score:2)
Overall nothing thrilling. I got excited but then disappointed with the actual results. I read a lot of Dilbert and don't see why he would be all that thrilled about energy efficiency and all the other mumbojumbo. He seems more a gadget head and as a gadgety cutting edge home it's lacking.
Re:Kid's rooms (Score:3)
That's because he's an engineer, and a genius one at that, and because, in the long run, this "mumbojumbo" is what matters the most. You can rearrange the interior when you feel like it, you can add toys, furniture, whatever, but you're not going to change the orientation or insulation of the whole house once it's built.
Re:Kid's rooms (Score:3, Funny)
Not with that attitude you won't!
It doesn't matter what they WANT! (Score:5, Insightful)
What they WANT is nothing that is practical or good for them, at least until they are teenagers (then, they still don't want healthy practical things, but there is no longer any point in trying to fight the tide).
What you need is things they don't INSTANTANEOUSLY DESTROY. That's the parent's guideline, take it from me.
For example, in the "kids bathroom" of the DUH there is a sink cantilevered out from the wall. BRZZZT! No fly zone!!
If you actually construct this thing with a support system that will prevent kiddies from ripping it off the wall (something involving huge stainless steel beams and multi-ton weights, I think) when they and their little friends start doing the mambo on the countertop, then somebody will split his little forehead open when chasing his (shorter) sister through the room and not ducking fast enough. If you pad the edge, it will get ripped apart the first time said little sister passes through the room carrying a cat frantic to escape the Tea Party of Doom. The cat will be leaving gouges a quarter inch deep in the mouldings, so you can kiss your padded bolster goodbye.
The towel rack off the front of the sink, that's a GREAT idea, though. It'll soak up at least a tenth of the fifty gallons of water any four-year old spills while "washing his hands".
Re:Kid's rooms (Score:2)
Re:Kid's rooms (Score:2)
Never heard of that. (Score:5, Interesting)
People keep their cat's litter box in the bathroom? Might as well keep it in the kitchen or your bedroom. Why keep it in a room where you spend a lot of time? Do people like smelling cat shit? I keep mine in the basement. If you don't have a basement keep it somewhere where no one goes.
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:2)
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:5, Funny)
People's cat litter boxes smell? Use the correct litter box sand, please.
What kind of sand would that be? Quicksand?
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:5, Insightful)
As someone who has lived in his share of one bedroom apartments, I can safely say that a good chunk of cat owners don't have such places in their residence.
Bedroom, living/dining room, kitchen, middle of the hallway, bathroom: take your pick...
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:2)
man i hated that apartment. (although the roommate who might have been using my deodorant and comb was worse)
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:2)
The problem is easily solved by putting the box in the bathtub. All the crumbs stay in the bathtub which you hose down with the telephone shower before taking a shower.
Of course, you rem
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:2)
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:5, Funny)
That has occurred to them, but they need somebody to work the can opener.
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:2, Informative)
I keep my cat's litter box in the bathroom because I have nowhere else to put it. I have no basement, no closets that are out of the way, etc.
--RJ
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:4, Funny)
How useless (Score:2)
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:2)
We do. Actually, there's a little space under the counter for a chair, and the litter box goes there (we don't have the chair). That way, it's protected on three sides, the cats have to walk over a throw rug as they leave (which catches much of the litter spill), and then they've still got a lot of bathroom to traverse before they get to the bedroom (so any other tracked litter stays there). Also,
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:2, Insightful)
On a side note, those LitterMaid automatic litter boxes are expensive but worth every penny.
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:2)
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:2, Informative)
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:2)
I ended up locking the door to one way (out only) at nite, but then the coon figured out how to lift it up from the outside and go thru! (those things are smart), so I put in a sliding wooden cover I whipped up on the router/table saw real quick. Did that fora few weeks and the coon went on to better hunting. Back to normal
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:3, Interesting)
We keep one around for when we get kittens. First, they're house broken and taught to use the litter box. Then they're taught to go outside instead. Works like a charm. No litter box to smell/clean/change, and nothing to worry about tripping over in the yard either. One of the better things about cats: they look after themselves.
Even better, is to train them to use the can like everyone else does. We had one cat that just started crapping in the toilet -- didn't have t
Re:Never heard of that. (Score:3, Informative)
We used to do that. Now we have 2 kittens, and they'll never go outside. The last cat we owned was loved by all in the neighborhood. He went missing for a couple of days and came
And all this time I thought... (Score:5, Interesting)
Turns out I was completely wrong and it looks like something out of Art 453, The CGI of Star Wars and how it can be applied to comics.
I guess I preferred living in a world of Simpsons where I didn't have to mentally map out the entire episode based on a "fact" or look at Dilbert's house in anything except black and white pencil.
That's just me though.
Re:And all this time I thought... (Score:2)
He lives in a world of B&W pencil. It seems just wrong to me for his ultimate house to be in anything but the same.
Re:And all this time I thought... (Score:2)
the problem with unconventional houses (Score:5, Insightful)
I live in such an area.
Re:the problem with unconventional houses (Score:2)
Or seek a variance.
Re:the problem with unconventional houses (Score:2)
The whole area around the city is like this.
It's even more insane north of Toronto, near Canada's Wonderland. The houses there are so similar, you can get lost like in a rat maze.
Re:the problem with unconventional houses (Score:2)
How much control do your neighbors have over a floorplan?
Re:the problem with unconventional houses (Score:2)
My first idea was to get a contractor to build me the house I wanted, but even that is hard around here... I've been told that developers are granted permits by the city to build on large tracts of land, where they sell their cookie-cutter houses.
There is also a requirement to have a lawn, and not to let it grow wild.
Damned conformists.
Re:the problem with unconventional houses (Score:3, Insightful)
Ideally, live somewhere where the neighbors have to follow an HOA but you don't. Like in the original ranch house of a farm that was cut up into a subdivision - the property the original house is on might not have
Re:the problem with unconventional houses (Score:2)
The problem with HOAs (Score:2)
Re:the problem with unconventional houses (Score:2)
The variations of the houses allowed are usually from a small pallete of light colors, and the houses have almost "plug-in" modularity, where the most variance you see is like a mirror image, with or without a garage.
RE: unconventional homes (Score:2)
Case in point. Not too far from where I live, there's a guy (fancies himself an artist, I suppose) who was known for his decorating up the front of his house in bright neon. He had neon lights surrounding his front windows and his street address lit up in neon over his door, etc. Later, he added on a room to one side of his place - and instead of creating a flat, level ro
Re:the problem with unconventional houses (Score:2)
I am just asking what you mean.
Re:the problem with unconventional houses (Score:2)
Aaaaauguggggh! I was Dilbert in the 80s! (Score:5, Interesting)
Instead of a motif of elongated curvature, though, I was working with hexagons, and mine was a split-level, not a flat ranch. My movie theater was above the two-car garage.
The tower wasn't a plain observatory, but a hollow tower designed for evaporative cooling: a good way to cool the central patio in the summer is to have a high evaporative "swamp" cooler at the top of a hollow tower, and let the cooled air fall down and into the patio area.
Re:Aaaaauguggggh! I was Dilbert in the 80s! (Score:2)
Re:Aaaaauguggggh! I was Dilbert in the 80s! (Score:2)
Junk expands to fill the space available. (Score:5, Interesting)
I have spent some time on ships and have always been impressed by how neat and orderly they are. Everything aboard is necessary and gets used regularly because there is no room for unnecessary stuff. (Unfortunately, I am surrounded by 'stuff' because I didn't learn from the experience.)
If I were dilbert (Score:3, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
6000 sq. ft. house for a single geek? (Score:4, Insightful)
And as for the exercise room, yeah right.
Home theatre, yes. Home office, yes. He doesn't need a double bed.
And yes, 6000 sq. ft. in the area of Silicon Valley too
Still, it looks pretty and is more sensible about making areas of the house that will be used rather than not used.
Re:6000 sq. ft. house for a single geek? (Score:2)
It's to help Dilbert "grab a girl" as well, so the other rooms might have functionality one day....
Oh who am I kidding, you're right....
Re:6000 sq. ft. house for a single geek? (Score:2)
I'm fit, I'm married, I have a daughter.
All you have to do is spend a little of that time you spend developing online characters into developing your real life character.
I know someone who does that (Score:4, Informative)
Re:I know someone who does that (Score:3, Funny)
Years later, there was a guy on TV showing how you can train any cat to use the toilet by just putting a piece of plexiglass under the seat, and putting cat litter in it, and putting the cat on it. Do thi
Nice for Scott and his family (Score:4, Interesting)
myke
Not quite ultimate (Score:5, Insightful)
The exercise room is woefully inadequate. And the "Wiring Center" is pitifully small. My home theater room alone has more cables than that. I have an entire wiring closest that is about 8'x 10' with many dozen runs of Cat5 and RG6 coming into it (for a house that is not yet 100% wired, and only about 70% of the size of the DUH.
Re:Not quite ultimate (Score:2, Funny)
RE: Duh....Nice... (Score:2, Funny)
The pics looked pretty good, and I will probably take note of some of the "requirements" that the house had to have.
I think that was a mac on his workroom table:)
Chi (Score:2, Funny)
That is truly .... (Score:5, Funny)
Where's the floorplan? (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Where's the floorplan? (Score:3, Informative)
Where's the damn price tag ? (Score:3, Insightful)
Point being...my dear Scott, Dilberts out there probably will never be able to afford that house considering the rabbit exponential breeding rate of pointy haired bosses.
Wow. (Score:4, Interesting)
Building underground makes sense; where I live, there is also an extensive downtown underground network (in light gray on this map [stm.info];interconnected city blocks are in pink) which everyone raves about (especially during winter), so it's not that silly an idea.
However, the most striking feature of the house is the master closet adjacent to the master bedroom which leads to two bathrooms. I've been reading an interesting series of books about the evolution of the architectural distribution of rooms as social customs evolved. A long time ago, in France, posh houses had precisely that, dressing rooms adjacent to the bedroom that led to bathrooms (the only difference was that the husband and wife had separate bedrooms). The setting makes a lot of sense.And it proves that history repeats itself... There is a lot to learn from the past.
Its so artificial (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:Its so artificial (Score:5, Funny)
Hee hee hee (Score:3, Funny)
Veteran: "Ok, I want you to go to the top of that turret and defend it."
Newbie: "erm, ok!"
Veteran: *thinks* "at least he'll be out of my hair for the time being..."
*Splat*Splat*Splat*Splat*Splat!* HIIIIITTT!
some parts of the concept are right (Score:2)
Credit where credit is due (Score:3, Informative)
Here is the original from which the submission was directly quoted:
http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/ht
lol, best line in the description (Score:2)
hahaha, I love it!
Library? (Score:3, Insightful)
How Does Dilbert Afford a House Like That? (Score:2)
When did Dilbert get a Cat? Where's the "Dog Room" (Score:2)
Not to knock the design too much, but (Score:3, Insightful)
1) The house has three, count 'em, three gardens located UNDERGROUND. I'd be curious to know what exactly he's growing down there.
2) The laundry room is located directly adjacent to the master bedroom. I can't be sure, but the washer/dryer could even be sharing a wall with it. (Man, the shit I would have caught from my old landlord if I were to start up a load of wash late at night...)
3) Similarly, the "Quiet Room" shares walls with the main entrance, kitchen and gym, and shares a floor with the playroom and possibly the basketball court(!). Hope Dilbert's company has a soundproofing division
4) Her Master Bath is only accessible from inside by walking through His Master Bath (uggh), or through the closet. (I guess this could be a Good Thing, as it might keep Her Master Collection of Shoes off the closet floor if she's got to trip over them all the time.)
5) From one angle of the virtual walkthrough, it appears that the windows of the Dilbert Observatory face toward a stone wall. I'm sure you can still see a lot of stuff, but a lot of stone wall as well. Actually, a good geek-grade observatory would be detached from the house so as not to transmit all the vibration from the house and its equipment/occupants...or at the very least, not so close to the basketball court.
6) The cat's room: Should the lip of the kitty litter box really overhang the food bowl like that? (OTOH, maybe it's just MY cat that somehow manages to spread litter granules in a 3' radius around the box)
Re:Dogbert (Score:3, Interesting)
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Which software was used? (Score:2)
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