

The Cost of 12 Days of Christmas 271
CtrlPhreak writes "PNC bank once again has come out with the Christmas price index, the cost of the 12 days of christmas. The result, swans cost 66.7 percent up from last year. The total cost rose 18.8 percent from the last year to a grand total of... $65,264.28, the largest percentage increase since 1987."
Where do they get the lords? (Score:4, Funny)
Lords of the dance?
Renting lords from the British house of Lords to leap around?
Re:Where do they get the lords? (Score:2)
Re:Where do they get the lords? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Where do they get the lords? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Where do they get the lords? (Score:2)
However, it's unclear whether they actually outsourced the jobs to China or perhaps they found a few
Re:Where do they get the lords? (Score:3, Funny)
Pah, who cares about the lords... (Score:3, Funny)
hrm... (Score:5, Funny)
xao
Re:hrm... (Score:2)
Tastes like chicken......that poops on itself.
supply down (Score:2)
I ate my swans last year.
Re:hrm... (Score:5, Funny)
Property of the Crown (Score:2)
Bummer...
Re:Property of the Crown (Score:2)
Meanwhile... (Score:5, Funny)
If that'th thtill all you want for Christmath, let me know.
annual budget (Score:5, Insightful)
Remind me to get a better job next year.
Re:annual budget (Score:5, Insightful)
Give the gift of love, and people think you're cheap. Give them a cheap bit of crap, and they love you for it. Go figure.
Cost did not go up... (Score:5, Informative)
As a Canadian, one US dollar was worth $1.61 CDN in the beginning of this year. Now one US dollar is worth $1.31 CDN. Which means the US dollar this year has dropped about... 18.63%, which is eerily similar to the rise in price for the 12 days of Christmas!
Take this into account, and 2 of the 3 major US stock indices are actually DOWN for the year.
Dow Diamonds (DIA) was ~$87 USD in January and is now ~$101 USD.
But the US dollar then was worth 1.61x the Canadian dollar and is now worth only 1.31x. So from where I stand, the DIA was ~$140 CDN in January and is now $133 CDN.
S&P 500 (SPY) was ~$92 USD in January and is now ~$108 USD.
That makes it $148.12 CDN in January and $141.48 now CDN.
On the other hand, tech stocks are indeed up for the year:
Nasdaq 100 (QQQ) was ~$26 USD in January and is now ~$36 USD.
So that makes it $41.86 CDN in January and $57.96 CDN in December.
Re:Cost did not go up... (Score:2)
They made in China or something?
Re:Cost did not go up... (Score:2)
Re:Cost did not go up... (Score:2)
Re:Cost did not go up... (Score:2)
Um...nice theory but wrong (Score:5, Informative)
It has little to no relation to the dollar. Unless we're getting those birds, pipers and drummers from Canada. More likely is that those items were a hot item last time the price list came out so they raised the prices this year.
The gold rings are less expensive most likely from the fluctuation of the price of gold.
Ben
Re:Cost did not go up... (Score:2)
CBC did a story last week on how the Canadian consumer price index has risen by 2% or some such, despite the massive gains in the loonie over the past year.
So, despite the fact that the Canadian dollar is so high (which is of course only because the American dollar is so low), we're paying about the same amount for goods, adjusted for inflation. This despite the fact that most of our consumer goods are imported from t
Re:Cost did not go up... (Score:2)
Huh?
You should look at the labels of more of the product you buy - even if the headquarters of the companies which "make" the things you own are in the US, most of the stuff they sell is made elsewhere. The US dollar wouldn't figure into play to any great extent. The US is Canada's biggest trading partner by far, but as far as strictly manufactured goods go, well, I'd like to see some numbers about where those are coming f
Skilled labor (Score:3, Informative)
Pipers? Does this [ibm.com] count?
Bah, Humbug. (Score:5, Funny)
--Scrooge
Few Questions (Score:5, Funny)
Is this just a normal tree? Or do I get one of those fancy foreign Pear Trees?
Two Turtle Doves
Are these both male, both female, or a mix? I mean I dont want 50 of these things next Christmas
Three French Hens
You want me to PAY for these!?
Four Calling Birds
What types of birds are we talking here? Some piegons or doves or what?
Five Gold Rings
How many carats? Are they Rings of Power?
Six Geese-a-Laying
How many eggs a day is this?
Seven Swans-a-Swimming
Does the kiddie pool for them to swim in come with it? Or is that an optional extra?
Eight Maids-a-Milking
Now I'm assuming the cows come with it, again is the cost of manure removal included? How about feed?
Nine Ladies Dancing
Are these like Twi'lek dancers? Or the girls of Jenni Craig?
10 Lords-a-Leaping
Wait . . I though Queer Eye only had 5 guys on it?
11 Pipers Piping
So, if I buy these can I like shoot them as soon as they piss me off?
12 Drummers Drumming
Same goes for these guys too.
Re:Few Questions (Score:5, Funny)
Aren't they Freedom Hens now?
Re:Few Questions (Score:2)
I think I want to go live in Freedom.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Few Questions (Score:2)
Wait . . I though Queer Eye only had 5 guys on it?
Hey, if the British government gets its way, there'll be quite a few lords with time on their hands [bbc.co.uk].
Re:Few Questions (Score:2)
Are these both male, both female, or a mix? I mean I dont want 50 of these things next Christmas
Well if you have a male and a female... Breed them, use the money from selling them next year to offset the cost of inflation for the list again that year.
Besides with all the other birds you have around you might be able to get your property declared a sanctuary and get government assistance, or at least a tax write off.
Re:Few Questions (Score:2)
If they breed, at least it'd save you the expense of buying them again next year. You could go into business and sell them off...it'd defray the cost of the other stuff.
I'm boycotting french [franceisoc...ermany.org] stuff, so they're right out...domestic hens would be a good substitute.
Re:Few Questions (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Few Questions (Score:2)
Re:Few Questions (Score:3, Funny)
Furthermore:
African or European?
What this does not take into account. (Score:5, Funny)
For example, the geese and other birds must be fed. The dancing ladies must be paid at least the minimum wage for your state, or under some circumstances tips. And the Five Golden Rings were wrought by the hand of the Dark Lord Sauron, meaning they extract a price too heavy to be described in monetary terms, as they scorch your very soul, slowly dragging you bodily into a spiritual nether-world where you live as a wraith, neither dead nor alive, eternally locked in a heck-like existence where you live only to serve your dark master.
Happy holidays!
A price too heavy.... (Score:3, Funny)
Is it just me, or do the "Five Golden Rings" sound a heck of a lot like an RIAA contract for music artists?
Re:What this does not take into account. (Score:3, Funny)
Whoa, check this out:
And the MS products were wrought by the hand of the Dark Bill Gates, meaning they extract a price too heavy t
Wow. (Score:5, Funny)
I can just imagine how they found out that price.
Mngmt: umm..$4230 bill from a place called the "Beef Barn?"
Researcher: I swear boss, it was research!
seriously though, $470 just to get a girl to dance? I know some top notch places that'll get you a beer AND a dance for $15
Re:Wow. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wow. (Score:2)
Re:Wow. (Score:2)
I forget how much it cost - it was broadcast as a Radio 4 pre Christmas show.
ANYWAY - he used actual Lords and Ladies with ligislative power from the House of Lords. He bribed them with mince pies as I remember.
Very funny if you can dig it out - which I cant be bothered to do this close to CHristmas.
/Ladies/ Dancing (Score:2)
Although, to be fair, I know a former nudie bar dancer, and a former porn model, and they are two of the politest, most ladylike women I know.
internet pricing (Score:3, Funny)
OTOH, I guess it is kinda hard to ship lords a' leaping, etc., FedEx. Can they fly coach, or maybe a discount airline?
Questions about the song... (Score:5, Interesting)
If this is the case you'd get 12 partridges in pear trees, 22 turtle doves, 30 french hens, 36 calling birds, 40 gold rings, 42 geese-a-laying, 40 maids-a-milking, 36 ladies dancing, 30 lords-a-leaping, 22 pipers piping, and 12 drummers drumming in all. That's one heck of a bounty!
Mewyn Dy'ner
Re:Questions about the song... (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Questions about the song... (Score:3, Informative)
"The price tag for the 364 items this holiday season is $65,264, up from 2002's true cost of $54,951."
Their total number of items is higher than yours, but I'm too lazy to see if you're wrong or they are.
Re:Questions about the song... (Score:2)
highly inflated (Score:5, Interesting)
10 Lords-a-Leaping
11 Pipers Piping
12 Drummers Drumming
So they are claiming that with unemployment still up, and orchestras laying off employess or going under due to lack of donations, the cost of talent is up this year. It seems like semi-pro musician and dancers could be hard for $100 a piece.
And what is it with the birds. I see them for sale along the freeway all the time for next to nothing. And a pear tree? Those are everywhere. Go and dig one up. I mean they are just trees.
It's christmas. We have no money. Be creative
And, btw, where are they shipping to? Longyearbyen to Cape Horn.
for everything else... (Score:2, Funny)
Eight minutes of a maid milking you... priceless!
Re:for everything else... (Score:2)
Or maybe someone just accidentally wandered into the mother and child room of the local store during a mass breastfeeding.
There are several business models here: (Score:3, Funny)
1) buy the above items from your "Traditional" store
2) sell them on the "Internet"
3) PROFIT!!!
The second is for vendors of: Calling Birds, Gold Rings, Pipers Piping, or Drummers Drumming.
1) buy Gold rings on the "Internet". Download anti-RIAA sound clips of birds, pipes, and drummers, and burn to a CD.
2) sell them in a "Traditional" store
3) PROFIT!!
Another business model comes to mind:
1) Get job at bank
2) Convince boss to use silly Christmas-themed ploy to get company in the newsmedia...
3) PROFIT!!
Great Marketing? (Score:2, Funny)
Yeah, I really want to give my business to these wackjobs. But I suppose employing accountan
Re:Great Marketing? (Score:3, Funny)
It's a joke, and it probably took then 10 minutes to whip up, buddy. Get a sense of humor.
Why not shop around? (Score:3, Interesting)
One Partridge in a Pear Tree $77.50 (Regular)
Partridge 15.00 (Regular)
Pear Tree 62.50 (Regular)
Two Turtle Doves 58.00 (Regular)
Three French Hens 15.00 (Regular)
Four Calling Birds 330.00 (Internet)
Five Gold Rings 183.75 (Internet)
Six Geese-a-Laying 150.00 (Regular)
Seven Swans-a-Swimming 3,500.00 (Regular)
Eight Maids-a-Milking 41.20 (Regular)
Nine Ladies Dancing 4,230.89 (Regular)
10 Lords-a-Leaping 3,921.44 (Regular)
11 Pipers Piping 1,600.00 (Internet)
12 Drummers Drumming 687.50 (Internet)
For a grand total of $14,872.28, which is $2,013 less than their estimate. Well worth the effort.
Re:Why not shop around? (Score:2)
$5.15 for a maid? Dang, I want to know where to buy 'em from..
"12 Drummers Drumming 687.50 (Internet)"
Internet?! Does that include overnight shipping?
What.. no raise? (Score:3, Funny)
Five golden rings for $361.25? (Score:5, Interesting)
As a jeweller, I'd like to know how they did that! At 72.25 each, that's dirt cheap. I know that they cost me more than that wholesale. Let's see... assume three pennyweights per ring(20dwt=1 Oz)...at 406.50/oz [kitco.com], that's 60.98 dollars each for the gold bought as 24K bullion. by the time it's refined to 18K sheet, and made into a ring, assume it's double the price. call it $122. That leaves no room for the retailer to make a profit.
I know it's a joke, but it would be funnier if it was accurate
Re:Five golden rings for $361.25? (Score:2)
I think this part of the page clarifies that each price is for a single item (ie. only one ring, not all five):
So hopefully the jewellers have some room for profit in those numbers!
Happy holidays!
Lux
Re:Five golden rings for $361.25? (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Five golden rings for $361.25? (Score:2)
How to do it? (Score:2)
Buy cheap gold bands [google.com].
Remember, Froogle is your friend.
Re:Five golden rings for $361.25? (Score:2)
They're "golden" rings, not gold rings. You know, like the "Golden Dollar"?
1. Make rings out of pot metal.
2. Apply cheesy chromate finish.
3. PROFIT!!
They got ripped... (Score:2, Insightful)
Online Shopping (Score:2)
But if somebody manages to create a list of links where every of the 12 items can be bought in a classic webshop, now that would be something
Why the fuss over this old Catechism song? (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Why the fuss over this old Catechism song? (Score:2, Informative)
But amazingly, Snopes disagrees. [snopes.com]
Re:Why the fuss over this old Catechism song? (Score:2)
Re:Why the fuss over this old Catechism song? (Score:2)
As far as I know, Protestants never forgot the Old and New Testaments, the Beatitudes or the 10 Commandments. All could be taught by Catholics openly without ever admitting they were Catholic. So why the song?
Re:Why the fuss over this old Catechism song? (Score:5, Insightful)
Efforts have been made to bridge the symbols to the doctrines they supposedly represent. Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists. You can easily deduce the explanation for this one. The calling birds are spreading the Gospel; they are telling the Good News to others. The problem is that in the original song, there were no calling birds. The song began as a French song. The fourth day was about 'houiller birds. Houiller, pronounced sort of like "colly," (I think the first consonant is a gutteral sound) is the word for coal used as an adjective. In this context, it means "black as coal." They were black birds, not calling birds.
Now, how do you explain the connection? And when in history were French Catholics being repressed by the Anglican Church so that they would have made this song?
There are many sites like this one [truthorfiction.com] that debunk this urban legend. See Snopes also.
When we Christians hold on to legends like this, it only serves to discredit everything else we claim to be true, including the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Catholics, please stop spreading rumors! [about.com] Where is your source? You have none. It is true that Christians used to celebrate Christmas for the twelve days from Advent to Epiphany, but there is no evidence of religious doctrine being embedded in "The Twelve Days of Christmas" or of a connection to Protestant banning of Catholicism.
Preemptive strike on trolls: Yes, I know that Jesus wasn't born on Dec. 25, pagan influences, yadda yadda, etc, but tradition and doctrine are not the same thing. The bottom line is that we don't (shouldn't) claim something to be true that isn't, and we disavow the evil sources that have affected our traditions.
Five golden rings (Score:3, Funny)
Yes, but who'd want to receive them? (Score:5, Funny)
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a Partridge in a Pear Tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and devotion,
Agnes
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine - Two Turtle Doves! I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love,
Agnes
Dearest John:
Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity - Three French Hens! They are just delightful, but I must insist, you've been too kind.
Love,
Agnes
Dearest John:
Today the postman delivered Four Calling Birds. Now really, you're being too romantic. They are beautiful, but don't you think that enough is enough?
Affectionately,
Agnes
Dearest John:
What a surprise! Today the postman delivered Five Golden Rings - one for each finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
Love,
Agnes
Dear John:
When I opened the door, there were actually Six Geese-A-Laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. Where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.
Cordially,
Agnes
John:
What's with you and those fucking birds? Seven Swans-A-Swimming! What kind of a goddamn joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck - it's not funny. So stop with those fucking birds!
Sincerely,
Agnes
OK Buster!
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 Maids a Milking? It's not enough with all these birds and maids a milking, but they had to bring their goddamn cows! There's shit all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house.
Just lay off me, smartass!
Agnes
Hey Shithead:
What are you, some kind of sadist? Now there are nine Pipers Piping! And Christ do they play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me!
You'll get yours!
Agnes
You Rotten Prick!
Now there's Ten Ladies Dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. The cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
I'm siccing the police on you.
One who means it!!
Agnes
Listen Fuckhead:
What's with the Eleven Lords a Leaping on those Maids and Ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows! All 23 birds are dead, they've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you vicious, rotten swine.
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge receipt of your latest gift of the Twelve Drummers Drumming, which you have seen fit to inflict upon our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All future cor-respondence should be sent to our attention. If you should attempt to contact Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot on sight! With this letter you will find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Badger, Bender & Cajole
Cost Overflows (Score:5, Funny)
Numerology (Score:3, Interesting)
for the British audience (Score:2, Funny)
$65,264.28 at current exchange rates is worth about a tenner and a pack of 20 B&H
The cost of gold rings went down--wtf? (Score:3, Insightful)
They've ignored the reuse/return opportunities.. (Score:3, Funny)
The 'gold' rings could be put in special presentation cases and sold on E-Bay as the official Lord of the Rings One True Ring (five available).
The Two Turtle Doves could be fitted with Bandanas and sold as Ninja Turtle Doves to kids.
The French Hens could be resold as 'Freedom Hens', packaged with the slogan 'Laying Eggs for our boys in the Gulf.'
The Swans could be rented out to high class celebrity weddings - the Swans no doubt lasting longer than the marriage.
The geese could be fed the leftovers and used to produce a delicious foie-de-gras pate, far preferable to the leftover turkey traditionally eaten from December 25th to November.
I'm sure there are more opportunities for reuse - anyone else got any ideas?
Price of a Redneck Christmas? (Score:2)
Making sense of Money (Score:2)
12 Drummers? (Score:2)
Re:People Never Change (Score:5, Interesting)
All I know is, my montly bills are up: electricity, gas and phone. My market bill is bigger now than last year... and I don't think I am eating anything different. Everything is up except for the inflation numbers... go figure eh
Re:People Never Change (Score:5, Informative)
If you want a real-world measurement, The Economist [economist.com] uses a Big Mac index, tracking the price of Big Mac's not just in the US but around the world, as a means of measuring inflationary trends and foreign currency movements...
Re:People Never Change (Score:2)
Re:People Never Change (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:People Never Change (Score:2)
Re:People Never Change (Score:5, Insightful)
Yes, I know you hate the President, but he isn't responsible for every hideous and awful thing that happens to you regardless of whether you want him to be or not.
Uh... (Score:2)
Even my housemate last year (a Pakistani who lived in Saudi Arabia for 10 years then went to high school in the U.S., an econ student, and the most Republican person I know) criticizes Bush's economic decisions, although he goes out of his way to praise him for everything else.
Dammit, this was about Christmas. Now look what's happened.
Re:Uh... (Score:2)
Those wouldn't be the same "ridiculous" economic policies that led to last quarter's ~9% annualized economic growth (best in nearly 20 years), would they? Ordinary people have more money in their pockets now, and they're starting to spend a bit now that we've managed to go more than two years without another 9/11.
I didn't bring politics into t
Re:Uh... (Score:4, Informative)
Yes, actually. A lower dollar allows for cheaper exports and more expensive imports. What does that mean? It means encouragement for the domestic job market and industry. It's generally the correct thing to do when a recession is forced upon you by an event such as 9/11. That being said, the war actually improved the economy and the market, so don't try to blame the situation on that either.
Re: (Score:2)
Re:People Never Change (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:People Never Change (Score:2)
Ah, you obviously must be new here, all we do is fill this forum with nonsense...and thats the closest we come to making sense! You'll learn
Re:People Never Change (Score:5, Insightful)
It is expected that some of the younger population, with their ideals and unattainable standards, would take it too seriously. What is sad is when a wise and knowledgeable person take those responses seriously.
And let's be honest. If the sole criteria for upward moderation was wisedom and correct information, we would have precious few 5's, and a much less interesting forum. As it is I sit in awe at the amount of funny stuff that gets rated flamebait, or, even more distressing, interesting.
Re:People Never Change (Score:2)
Re:People Never Change (Score:2)
Re:People Never Change (Score:5, Interesting)
The CPI is calculated over a rather large shopping bag of goods.
Re:People Never Change (Score:2)
That has things magically disappear from it when they start making the numbers look bad.
Not realistic (Score:5, Funny)
Re:But what about down south? (Score:2)
leven raslin tickets
tin of copenhagen
nine year's probation
eight table dancers
seven pack o redman
six cans o spam
five flannel shirts
four mud tires
three shotgun sheels
two huntin dogs
and some parts to a mustang gt