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Christmas Cheer The Almighty Buck

The Cost of 12 Days of Christmas 271

CtrlPhreak writes "PNC bank once again has come out with the Christmas price index, the cost of the 12 days of christmas. The result, swans cost 66.7 percent up from last year. The total cost rose 18.8 percent from the last year to a grand total of... $65,264.28, the largest percentage increase since 1987."
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The Cost of 12 Days of Christmas

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  • by bgog ( 564818 ) * on Tuesday December 16, 2003 @11:39PM (#7742030) Journal
    So what would the seven 'lords a leaping' be?

    Lords of the dance?
    Renting lords from the British house of Lords to leap around?
  • hrm... (Score:5, Funny)

    by xao gypsie ( 641755 ) on Tuesday December 16, 2003 @11:40PM (#7742037)
    now, is it that the demand for swans has gone up, or that the supply has gone down?

  • by wrinkledshirt ( 228541 ) on Tuesday December 16, 2003 @11:41PM (#7742042) Homepage
    Theeing as how I'm out of a job and in dethperate need of the money, the prithe for my two front teeth hath never been better.

    If that'th thtill all you want for Christmath, let me know.
  • annual budget (Score:5, Insightful)

    by chloroquine ( 642737 ) on Tuesday December 16, 2003 @11:42PM (#7742048) Journal
    So I guess this means that I have to work for three years, without taking into account my budget for food and shelter, to actually give Christmas gifts.

    Remind me to get a better job next year.

  • by patricksevenlee ( 679708 ) on Tuesday December 16, 2003 @11:44PM (#7742056)
    It wasn't so much the cost that went up as the fact that the US dollar is down this year.

    As a Canadian, one US dollar was worth $1.61 CDN in the beginning of this year. Now one US dollar is worth $1.31 CDN. Which means the US dollar this year has dropped about... 18.63%, which is eerily similar to the rise in price for the 12 days of Christmas!

    Take this into account, and 2 of the 3 major US stock indices are actually DOWN for the year.

    Dow Diamonds (DIA) was ~$87 USD in January and is now ~$101 USD.

    But the US dollar then was worth 1.61x the Canadian dollar and is now worth only 1.31x. So from where I stand, the DIA was ~$140 CDN in January and is now $133 CDN.

    S&P 500 (SPY) was ~$92 USD in January and is now ~$108 USD.
    That makes it $148.12 CDN in January and $141.48 now CDN.

    On the other hand, tech stocks are indeed up for the year:

    Nasdaq 100 (QQQ) was ~$26 USD in January and is now ~$36 USD.
    So that makes it $41.86 CDN in January and $57.96 CDN in December.

    • Drummers, Pipers, and Dancers are imported?

      They made in China or something?
    • Huh? What does any of that have to do with what a dove costs?
    • Now wait just a minute here. Our patriotic American Government reported [] today that inflation was minus 0.1 percent the past month and that it has risen only 1.1 percent for the whole year. My food, gasoline, heating, rent, clothing and electricity bills attest to an absolute flatline, don't yours? ;-)

    • by KalvinB ( 205500 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @12:37AM (#7742394) Homepage
      If you actually look at the prices they aren't consistantly up. Most are unchanged. The ones that changed drastically are the price of birds and pear trees must have had a good season since the price is way down. Swans are far more expensive, calling birds are more expensive. And drummers and pipers which are probably getting rarer by the year.

      It has little to no relation to the dollar. Unless we're getting those birds, pipers and drummers from Canada. More likely is that those items were a hot item last time the price list came out so they raised the prices this year.

      The gold rings are less expensive most likely from the fluctuation of the price of gold.

    • But the US dollar then was worth 1.61x the Canadian dollar and is now worth only 1.31x.

      CBC did a story last week on how the Canadian consumer price index has risen by 2% or some such, despite the massive gains in the loonie over the past year.

      So, despite the fact that the Canadian dollar is so high (which is of course only because the American dollar is so low), we're paying about the same amount for goods, adjusted for inflation. This despite the fact that most of our consumer goods are imported from t
      • This despite the fact that most of our consumer goods are imported from the States.


        You should look at the labels of more of the product you buy - even if the headquarters of the companies which "make" the things you own are in the US, most of the stuff they sell is made elsewhere. The US dollar wouldn't figure into play to any great extent. The US is Canada's biggest trading partner by far, but as far as strictly manufactured goods go, well, I'd like to see some numbers about where those are coming f
  • Skilled labor (Score:3, Informative)

    by tcopeland ( 32225 ) * <> on Tuesday December 16, 2003 @11:47PM (#7742078) Homepage

    "Whereas in the mid-1980s the cost of the goods in the song dominated the Index, the trend over time has been toward lower goods prices, such as the pear tree, and higher prices for skilled labor, such as the pipers," [Jeff Kleintop] said.

    Pipers? Does this [] count?
  • by Catharz ( 223736 ) on Tuesday December 16, 2003 @11:47PM (#7742082)
    No cost increase for me.

  • by OverlordQ ( 264228 ) on Tuesday December 16, 2003 @11:48PM (#7742086) Journal
    One Partridge in a Pear Tree

    Is this just a normal tree? Or do I get one of those fancy foreign Pear Trees?

    Two Turtle Doves

    Are these both male, both female, or a mix? I mean I dont want 50 of these things next Christmas

    Three French Hens

    You want me to PAY for these!?

    Four Calling Birds

    What types of birds are we talking here? Some piegons or doves or what?

    Five Gold Rings

    How many carats? Are they Rings of Power?

    Six Geese-a-Laying

    How many eggs a day is this?

    Seven Swans-a-Swimming

    Does the kiddie pool for them to swim in come with it? Or is that an optional extra?

    Eight Maids-a-Milking

    Now I'm assuming the cows come with it, again is the cost of manure removal included? How about feed?

    Nine Ladies Dancing

    Are these like Twi'lek dancers? Or the girls of Jenni Craig?

    10 Lords-a-Leaping

    Wait . . I though Queer Eye only had 5 guys on it?

    11 Pipers Piping

    So, if I buy these can I like shoot them as soon as they piss me off?

    12 Drummers Drumming

    Same goes for these guys too.

  • by mcc ( 14761 ) <> on Tuesday December 16, 2003 @11:49PM (#7742092) Homepage
    Unfortunately this study does not take into effect the TCO (Total Cost of Ownership) of the 12 Days of Christmas items. This makes it infeasible for an actual guide in gift giving.

    For example, the geese and other birds must be fed. The dancing ladies must be paid at least the minimum wage for your state, or under some circumstances tips. And the Five Golden Rings were wrought by the hand of the Dark Lord Sauron, meaning they extract a price too heavy to be described in monetary terms, as they scorch your very soul, slowly dragging you bodily into a spiritual nether-world where you live as a wraith, neither dead nor alive, eternally locked in a heck-like existence where you live only to serve your dark master.

    Happy holidays!
    • And the Five Golden Rings were wrought by the hand of the Dark Lord Sauron, meaning they extract a price too heavy to be described in monetary terms, as they scorch your very soul, slowly dragging you bodily into a spiritual nether-world where you live as a wraith, neither dead nor alive, eternally locked in a heck-like existence where you live only to serve your dark master.

      Is it just me, or do the "Five Golden Rings" sound a heck of a lot like an RIAA contract for music artists?
    • And the Five Golden Rings were wrought by the hand of the Dark Lord Sauron, meaning they extract a price too heavy to be described in monetary terms, as they scorch your very soul, slowly dragging you bodily into a spiritual nether-world where you live as a wraith, neither dead nor alive, eternally locked in a heck-like existence where you live only to serve your dark master.

      Whoa, check this out:

      And the MS products were wrought by the hand of the Dark Bill Gates, meaning they extract a price too heavy t
  • Wow. (Score:5, Funny)

    by nertz_oi ( 596157 ) on Tuesday December 16, 2003 @11:52PM (#7742119) Journal
    Nine Ladies Dancing: 4,230.89

    I can just imagine how they found out that price.

    Mngmt: umm..$4230 bill from a place called the "Beef Barn?"
    Researcher: I swear boss, it was research!

    seriously though, $470 just to get a girl to dance? I know some top notch places that'll get you a beer AND a dance for $15 ;)
    • Re:Wow. (Score:5, Funny)

      by SEE ( 7681 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @12:10AM (#7742232) Homepage
      Thems ain't no ladies, bub.
    • The question is whether those women are "ladies". Big difference I think..
    • Last year Tony Hawkes [] the British Comedian actually gave his girlfriend the 12 days of Christmas for christmas.

      I forget how much it cost - it was broadcast as a Radio 4 pre Christmas show.

      ANYWAY - he used actual Lords and Ladies with ligislative power from the House of Lords. He bribed them with mince pies as I remember.
      Very funny if you can dig it out - which I cant be bothered to do this close to CHristmas.
    • Not girls, and certainly not those girls! Ladies. Presumably dancing in a ladylike fashion.

      Although, to be fair, I know a former nudie bar dancer, and a former porn model, and they are two of the politest, most ladylike women I know.

  • by barista ( 587936 ) on Tuesday December 16, 2003 @11:57PM (#7742145) Homepage
    That Internet pricing seems high. I wonder if they shopped around. Maybe they shoulda checked Ebay or

    OTOH, I guess it is kinda hard to ship lords a' leaping, etc., FedEx. Can they fly coach, or maybe a discount airline?
  • by mewyn ( 663989 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @12:02AM (#7742183) Homepage
    I've always wondered about the "12 Days of Christmas" song, and if it meant that you get just that gift for that day, and the chorous was tallying up the earnings, or if the singer got the gift again, i.e. on the second day you would have recived your second partridge and pear tree combo along with your two turtle doves.

    If this is the case you'd get 12 partridges in pear trees, 22 turtle doves, 30 french hens, 36 calling birds, 40 gold rings, 42 geese-a-laying, 40 maids-a-milking, 36 ladies dancing, 30 lords-a-leaping, 22 pipers piping, and 12 drummers drumming in all. That's one heck of a bounty! :)

    Mewyn Dy'ner
    • If you listen to the Flash feature on the page (yeah, politically incorrect here) you will learn that they are assuming that the gifts repeat on successive days. Hence the huge cumulative price.
    • If you watch the flash presentation (or read the article closely), they mention this:

      "The price tag for the 364 items this holiday season is $65,264, up from 2002's true cost of $54,951."

      Their total number of items is higher than yours, but I'm too lazy to see if you're wrong or they are. ;)
  • highly inflated (Score:5, Interesting)

    by fermion ( 181285 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @12:09AM (#7742228) Homepage Journal
    Nine Ladies Dancing
    10 Lords-a-Leaping
    11 Pipers Piping
    12 Drummers Drumming

    So they are claiming that with unemployment still up, and orchestras laying off employess or going under due to lack of donations, the cost of talent is up this year. It seems like semi-pro musician and dancers could be hard for $100 a piece.

    And what is it with the birds. I see them for sale along the freeway all the time for next to nothing. And a pear tree? Those are everywhere. Go and dig one up. I mean they are just trees.

    It's christmas. We have no money. Be creative

    And, btw, where are they shipping to? Longyearbyen to Cape Horn.

  • by Anonymous Coward
    Eight maids-a-milking... $41.20
    Eight minutes of a maid milking you... priceless!
  • by SkiingOnMars ( 702435 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @12:17AM (#7742271) Journal
    The first is for vendors of: Partridges, Pear Trees, Turtle Doves, French Hens, Geese-a-Laying, Swans, Maids-a-Milking, Ladies Dancing, or Lords-a-Leaping

    1) buy the above items from your "Traditional" store
    2) sell them on the "Internet"
    3) PROFIT!!!

    The second is for vendors of: Calling Birds, Gold Rings, Pipers Piping, or Drummers Drumming.

    1) buy Gold rings on the "Internet". Download anti-RIAA sound clips of birds, pipes, and drummers, and burn to a CD.
    2) sell them in a "Traditional" store
    3) PROFIT!!

    Another business model comes to mind:

    1) Get job at bank
    2) Convince boss to use silly Christmas-themed ploy to get company in the newsmedia...
    3) PROFIT!!

  • If my bank spent the fees they collected from me trying to price out the cost of leaping lords and laying swans and whatnot, I'd want to take a dump right in the middle of their lobby as I walked out after closing my accounts. Is this how they justify their myriad fees? "We need to charge an extra $.50 per ATM transaction and money order so we can tell you how expensive it is to rent or purchase leaping lords..."

    Yeah, I really want to give my business to these wackjobs. But I suppose employing accountan

    • Wow, I'd hate to see the look on your face when you found out they had a christmas party.

      It's a joke, and it probably took then 10 minutes to whip up, buddy. Get a sense of humor.
  • Why not shop around? (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Hektor_Troy ( 262592 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @12:26AM (#7742327)
    Combine the best prices. That way you end up with:

    One Partridge in a Pear Tree $77.50 (Regular)
    Partridge 15.00 (Regular)
    Pear Tree 62.50 (Regular)
    Two Turtle Doves 58.00 (Regular)
    Three French Hens 15.00 (Regular)
    Four Calling Birds 330.00 (Internet)
    Five Gold Rings 183.75 (Internet)
    Six Geese-a-Laying 150.00 (Regular)
    Seven Swans-a-Swimming 3,500.00 (Regular)
    Eight Maids-a-Milking 41.20 (Regular)
    Nine Ladies Dancing 4,230.89 (Regular)
    10 Lords-a-Leaping 3,921.44 (Regular)
    11 Pipers Piping 1,600.00 (Internet)
    12 Drummers Drumming 687.50 (Internet)

    For a grand total of $14,872.28, which is $2,013 less than their estimate. Well worth the effort.
    • "Eight Maids-a-Milking 41.20 (Regular)"

      $5.15 for a maid? Dang, I want to know where to buy 'em from..

      "12 Drummers Drumming 687.50 (Internet)"

      Internet?! Does that include overnight shipping?
  • by deadgoon42 ( 309575 ) * on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @12:37AM (#7742395) Journal
    Those Maids-a-Milking didn't even get a cost of living raise. Things must be tough in the Dairy industry.
  • by m0nkyman ( 7101 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @12:44AM (#7742430) Homepage Journal

    As a jeweller, I'd like to know how they did that! At 72.25 each, that's dirt cheap. I know that they cost me more than that wholesale. Let's see... assume three pennyweights per ring(20dwt=1 Oz) 406.50/oz [], that's 60.98 dollars each for the gold bought as 24K bullion. by the time it's refined to 18K sheet, and made into a ring, assume it's double the price. call it $122. That leaves no room for the retailer to make a profit.

    I know it's a joke, but it would be funnier if it was accurate

    • I think this part of the page clarifies that each price is for a single item (ie. only one ring, not all five):

      As part of its annual tradition, PNC Advisors also tabulates the "true cost of Christmas," which is the total cost of all of the items in the famous carol, including all of the repetitions.

      So hopefully the jewellers have some room for profit in those numbers!

      Happy holidays!


      • Ixnay my friend. If you do the math, you'll find that the repetitions mean that on each day the true love of the singer gave a partridge in a pear tree, and added the extra on top of it. That means a total of 12 partridges in pear trees. That is the repetition. No profit margin there. There's fourty golden rings sold at a loss.
    • They said golden, not gold, so at the least they are plated. they may even be a brass alloy mixed to look like gold.
    • Buy cheap gold bands [].

      Remember, Froogle is your friend.

    • I know it's a joke, but it would be funnier if it was accurate

      They're "golden" rings, not gold rings. You know, like the "Golden Dollar"?

      1. Make rings out of pot metal.
      2. Apply cheesy chromate finish.
      3. PROFIT!!

  • They got ripped... (Score:2, Insightful)

    by ISPTech ( 76854 )
    Someone needs to tell them you can get most of that stuff on Ebay for like 1/10th the cost of what they got.

  • Hm... nice study.

    But if somebody manages to create a list of links where every of the 12 items can be bought in a classic webshop, now that would be something :-)
  • by dan.hunt ( 613949 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @01:17AM (#7742581) Journal
    According to this site. [] "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is interesting because, while it seems whimsical, many believe the song was written in England as a catechism song to help young Catholics learn the tenets of their faith during the period when it was a crime to be a Catholic and Catholics were prohibited from practicing any aspect of their faith even in private. The song's gifts originally were hidden references to the teachings of the Catholic faith. The two turtle doves signified the Old and New Testaments, the eight maids a-milking are the Beatitudes and the 10 lords a-leaping the 10 Commandments.
    • Yes, I can see how having a song using all the numbers from one to twelve would help me remember the tenets (hey, at least you spelled it right) of my faith. "Jimmy, how many commandments are there?" "Hmmm... commandments... lords a-leaping... 10, ma'am!"

      But amazingly, Snopes disagrees. []
    • The song's gifts originally were hidden references to the teachings of the Catholic faith. The two turtle doves signified the Old and New Testaments, the eight maids a-milking are the Beatitudes and the 10 lords a-leaping the 10 Commandments.

      As far as I know, Protestants never forgot the Old and New Testaments, the Beatitudes or the 10 Commandments. All could be taught by Catholics openly without ever admitting they were Catholic. So why the song?
    • by superyooser ( 100462 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @06:26AM (#7743627) Homepage Journal
      That doesn't make any sense. Here is a complete list of the 12 symbols with their meanings:
      1. Partridge in a pear tree = The One true God revealed in the person of Jesus Christ
      2. Turtle Doves = The Old and New Testaments
      3. French Hens = Faith, Hope and Charity
      4. Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
      5. Golden Rings = The first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch" which contain the law condemning us of our sins.
      6. Geese A-laying = the six days of Creation
      7. Swans A-swimming = the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments of the Catholic faith
      8. Maids A-milking = the eight Beatitudes
      9. Ladies Dancing = the nine Fruits of the Spirit
      10. Lords A-leaping = the Ten Commandments
      11. Pipers Piping = the eleven faithful apostles
      12. Drummers Drumming = the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed
      None of those beliefs is particular to Roman Catholicism. The Anglican Church and all other major Protestant denominations embrace every single one of the doctrines supposedly related to the song. And tell me how in the world Ten Lords A-leaping was supposed to help people remember the Ten Commandments. The imagery is just silly.

      Efforts have been made to bridge the symbols to the doctrines they supposedly represent. Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists. You can easily deduce the explanation for this one. The calling birds are spreading the Gospel; they are telling the Good News to others. The problem is that in the original song, there were no calling birds. The song began as a French song. The fourth day was about 'houiller birds. Houiller, pronounced sort of like "colly," (I think the first consonant is a gutteral sound) is the word for coal used as an adjective. In this context, it means "black as coal." They were black birds, not calling birds.

      Now, how do you explain the connection? And when in history were French Catholics being repressed by the Anglican Church so that they would have made this song?

      There are many sites like this one [] that debunk this urban legend. See Snopes also.

      When we Christians hold on to legends like this, it only serves to discredit everything else we claim to be true, including the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

      Catholics, please stop spreading rumors! [] Where is your source? You have none. It is true that Christians used to celebrate Christmas for the twelve days from Advent to Epiphany, but there is no evidence of religious doctrine being embedded in "The Twelve Days of Christmas" or of a connection to Protestant banning of Catholicism.

      Preemptive strike on trolls: Yes, I know that Jesus wasn't born on Dec. 25, pagan influences, yadda yadda, etc, but tradition and doctrine are not the same thing. The bottom line is that we don't (shouldn't) claim something to be true that isn't, and we disavow the evil sources that have affected our traditions.

  • by euxneks ( 516538 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @01:24AM (#7742606)
    To rule them all!!!.. err...
  • by FsG ( 648587 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @01:30AM (#7742636)
    Dearest John:
    I went to the door today and the postman delivered a Partridge in a Pear Tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised.
    With deepest love and devotion,

    Dearest John:
    Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine - Two Turtle Doves! I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
    All my love,

    Dearest John:
    Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity - Three French Hens! They are just delightful, but I must insist, you've been too kind.

    Dearest John:
    Today the postman delivered Four Calling Birds. Now really, you're being too romantic. They are beautiful, but don't you think that enough is enough?

    Dearest John:
    What a surprise! Today the postman delivered Five Golden Rings - one for each finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

    Dear John:
    When I opened the door, there were actually Six Geese-A-Laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. Where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.

    What's with you and those fucking birds? Seven Swans-A-Swimming! What kind of a goddamn joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck - it's not funny. So stop with those fucking birds!

    OK Buster!
    I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 Maids a Milking? It's not enough with all these birds and maids a milking, but they had to bring their goddamn cows! There's shit all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house.
    Just lay off me, smartass!

    Hey Shithead:
    What are you, some kind of sadist? Now there are nine Pipers Piping! And Christ do they play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me!
    You'll get yours!

    You Rotten Prick!
    Now there's Ten Ladies Dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. The cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
    I'm siccing the police on you.
    One who means it!!

    Listen Fuckhead:
    What's with the Eleven Lords a Leaping on those Maids and Ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows! All 23 birds are dead, they've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you vicious, rotten swine.
    Your sworn enemy,

    Dear Sir:
    This is to acknowledge receipt of your latest gift of the Twelve Drummers Drumming, which you have seen fit to inflict upon our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All future cor-respondence should be sent to our attention. If you should attempt to contact Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot on sight! With this letter you will find attached a warrant for your arrest.
    Badger, Bender & Cajole
  • by Ray Radlein ( 711289 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @01:42AM (#7742696) Homepage
    We really need to be careful here, because if the cost goes up a mere $271.28 next year, it will reach $65536, and all of the Christmas Index computers which are still using unsigned short integers will crash.
  • Numerology (Score:3, Interesting)

    by manganese4 ( 726568 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @01:47AM (#7742719)
    So those of you into ancient babylonian religions II believe that is where we got dependence on 12 and 24), any comment on the fact that the total number of items in the song is 364 where as there are 365 days in a year?
  • by Anonymous Coward

    $65,264.28 at current exchange rates is worth about a tenner and a pack of 20 B&H

  • by Calaf ( 78730 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @02:22AM (#7742860)
    I have a hard time believing this. On December 16 2002 the price of an ounce of gold was US$333 [], while as of today, December 16 2003, the price is US$408 []. I can't believe that the cost of labor and other materials went down enough to compensate for this.

  • by Channard ( 693317 ) on Wednesday December 17, 2003 @04:47AM (#7743343) Journal
    .. after all, there after Christmas, there are plenty of reuse opportunities for the items, after the recipient of the items has got bored or overwhelmed by the gifts. For example:

    The 'gold' rings could be put in special presentation cases and sold on E-Bay as the official Lord of the Rings One True Ring (five available).

    The Two Turtle Doves could be fitted with Bandanas and sold as Ninja Turtle Doves to kids.

    The French Hens could be resold as 'Freedom Hens', packaged with the slogan 'Laying Eggs for our boys in the Gulf.'

    The Swans could be rented out to high class celebrity weddings - the Swans no doubt lasting longer than the marriage.

    The geese could be fed the leftovers and used to produce a delicious foie-de-gras pate, far preferable to the leftover turkey traditionally eaten from December 25th to November.

    I'm sure there are more opportunities for reuse - anyone else got any ideas?

  • Hmm.. I have a song "12 Days of Redneck Christmas" floating around on my harddisk. How much would that cost? It's probably cheaper to buy (just an excerpt) at Wal-Mart:
    • 12 pack of Bud
    • 11 wrestling tickets
    • 9 years probation
    • 5 flannel shirts
    • 3 shotgun shells
    • 2 hunting dogs
    • some parts to a Mustang GT
  • Personally, I prefer [] to keep track of the value of a dollar in a more tangible every day way. The dollar is currently worth 462.131 sheets of Toilet Paper. We've lost 4 sheets to the wind since Monday. Toilet paper is not significantly weakening against the dollar. I hope for a stronger dollar that can perhaps give two-ply a run for it's money.
  • 12 drummers drumming costs $2,147.60? I could get that for the cost of a few cases of beer and a mop to wipe up the drool on the floor.

The best book on programming for the layman is "Alice in Wonderland"; but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman.