Call for Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie References 185
lma writes "Lyle Zapato, best-selling author (well, maybe just author) of Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie: Practical Mind Control Protection for Paranoids , and developer of MindGuard, personal anti-psychotronic software for Amiga and Linux, is trying to find as many references to AFDBs or similar devices prior to 1991 as possible. Please help this important part of our cultural heritage from being lost, and email him with any references you can find." Well, there was my Uncle Milt..I mean...well, nevermind.
ACK! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:ACK! (Score:4, Informative)
fantasy (Score:4, Funny)
Re:fantasy (Score:3, Insightful)
This then causes them to go into "religion" mode, which should be self explanitory.
well THAT didn't take long (Score:1, Funny)
Apache/1.3.26 Server at www.zapatopi.net Port 80
now I dont get to read some article about someone else's interest in tinfoil hats. Drat.
I think they need another symbol for 'slow news day articles'...
the server dons a foil hat (Score:5, Funny)
Re:the server dons a foil hat (Score:1)
MLB (Score:3, Funny)
You guys want to see what's in here or want to see me hit some dingers? DINGERS! DINGERS!
Simpsons reference.
"Yoink!" (Score:1)
Re:"Yoink!" (Score:1)
And, sadly, he did not even run away, he just stood there with the paper falling down from under his cap. Doh!
Re:MLB (Score:2)
Guess I need to go get a damm tinfoil hat if all you people are going to be spying on us peace-loving, harmless Dingers of the world.
Re:MLB (Score:2)
For example, "dinger"...haha!
Heh.
Hmm.
Also available for servers ? (Score:4, Funny)
Or he could be... (Score:5, Funny)
At least that is what the aliens told me.
Re:Or he could be... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Or he could be... (Score:3, Funny)
The Straight Dope (Score:5, Informative)
Personally I think that they really need professional help if they believe in aliens, but if it keeps the government from reading my mind I'm all for it!
Re:The Straight Dope (Score:2, Funny)
Recently?
>Do tinfoil helmets provide adequate protection against mind control rays? > >09-Jun-2000
Well, recent in a geologic sense....
Re:The Straight Dope (Score:1)
Re:The Straight Dope (Score:3, Funny)
Shiny side in, keeping the thought police out
Shiny side out, for keeping the mind control out.
Re:The Straight Dope (Score:5, Informative)
Oh and these guys appear to be for real.
Re:The Straight Dope (Score:2)
Do the Greys know about 3M? I thought that 3M was using alien technology to make their products and therefore aliens themselves. Maybe they've given us too much. We now have the tools to destroy the Greys. Well, um, we need phasers too.
Re:The Straight Dope (Score:2)
rofl... I was drinking coffee, about to click the link, and then read the rest of your comment JUST IN TIME. I swallowed my coffee, put my mug down, and then proceeded, and the reason I'm typing this instead of mopping coffee up off my monitor and keyboard was your timely warning.
Thank you sir =)
He's not joking, kids! PUT YOUR COFFEE DOWN OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!
Results of the thought screen helmet exceeded expectations. Since January 2000 aliens have not taken any abductees while they were wearing thought screen helmets using Velostat shielding
...
"Thank you Michael for the work you are doing to save all humanity."
=p
Really nice electro-conductive hats in a catalog (Score:2)
Why was I reading this tripe? Well, it was on the bench at the train station while I was waiting for the train, and the newspaper headlines had looked boring...
Don't be fooled!!! (Score:3, Funny)
From their website (Score:4, Funny)
With MindGuard, you can rest assured that your most valuable possession -- your mind-- is safe from the nefarious tinkering of evil-doers.
I am so glad this software is available, now we can get even more of the right kinds of folks advocating the use of Linux. Is there a large untapped market for Linux use in mental hospitals?
Re:From their website (Score:4, Interesting)
How can they do that with software? (Score:1)
Re:How can they do that with software? (Score:2)
Re:From their website (Score:2, Funny)
Hey; don't knock it - I USED that software on my Amiga.
Honestly; it was included as a user submission on one of Amiga Format's cover discs (meaning it was as good as free).
For another thing, it ran with total stability. No crashes !
And you simply wouldn't believe the frequency of these mind control broadcasts that these intelligence agencies send out.
Running this program on your Amiga/Linux machine is like taking the right pill in the Matrix (except without being ejected from a weird pod thing, all covered in goo and with nasty wires plugged into various parts of your body).
I can see the advertising campaign... (Score:1, Funny)
They work.... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:They work.... but I don't... (Score:3, Funny)
Arg! It's an evil plot to make me look silly. Hand me that roll of tinfoil please....
The real deal (Score:5, Interesting)
You can also see her with a sign standing outside the mall in downtown Hamilton, or at the side of the road by the highway.
Re:The real deal (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, we make her do that every now and then. When she's really bad, we let the monkey play with the joystick.
Since she knows about . . . . (Score:3, Informative)
But Noooooooooooooooooooo!
KFG
Re:The real deal (Score:2)
Why is it crackpot sites always look really shabby. I think it's a government plot to disuade us from looking at them, so we don't see the REAL ones THAT are OUT THERE. RIGHT NOW!
(sorry, had to emulate the style so everyone knew what I was refering to!)
Tinfoil Hat Linux ...for the Paranoid (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Tinfoil Hat Linux ...for the Paranoid (Score:2, Funny)
No shortage of whackos. (Score:4, Informative)
Mind control at Menards (Score:1, Interesting)
My wife and I went there to look at floor tile and the whole store was full of customers pushing around shopping carts with a tub in it and filling it with stuff, like mindless drones.
I really badly wanted to buy stuff on the sale, but I did not want to be manipulated like this. My wife pointed out that every form of sales promotion could be taken to be manipulation, including shopping carts, which encourage customers to fill it full of stuff to buy. But my wife thinks I buy too much stuff at Menards anyway, and I felt like I had to pass on the tub like an alcoholic needs to stay away from drinks.
Not Quite Free (Score:2)
Here we go:
1st bin: 20% off $100 = $80 + $3 for the bin
2nd bin: 20% off $83 = $66.40 + $3 for bin 2
3rd bin: 20% off $69.40 = $52.52 + $3 for bin 3
4th bin: 20% off $55.52 = $42.02 + $3 for bin 4
5th bin: 20% off $45.02 = $36.02 + $3 for bin 5
For a grand total of: Not Free. (39.02 or 33% of the 115 you would've spent) Even if you don't take into account the bin prices, you still will never hit zero, no matter how many bins you stack. Still a great deal, though.
Twins and Card Games (Score:5, Funny)
Movie tin foil (Score:4, Informative)
Woody Allen
ALVY:
(Looking at Rob who is wearing a foil covered suit and hood)
Why are you wearing that? Worried about thought control from space aliens?
ROB:
(Pulling the hood over his head)
Gamma rays, Alvy. Gamma rays. Wear this and you'll live forever.
Re:Movie tin foil (Score:4, Informative)
Dude! (Score:5, Funny)
You got an affiliate commission link into a front-page Slashdot story! You rock!
Easy (Score:2)
See a wide variety of them in use in this image [montacute.net] of the 1314 battle of Bannockburn. The alleged "speaker stand" in this image is, of course, a pyschotronic warfare device. Stalkers and Three Letter Agencies take note: I am in this picture, wearing my own AFDB (well, steel, which is heavier but provides excellent shielding).
Kudos to Lyle for bringing the protection of AFDB's to the attention of the common man. While nothing beats a well made AFDB, I also recommend running Mindguard (link unavailable due to zapatopi.net being taken down by Miniature Black Helicopters and/or Slashdotting) 24/7, for those head scratching moments.
Re:That picture's fake (Score:2)
You can tell they are Kings because they aren't all covered in shit.
My Dad remembers the original case (Score:5, Interesting)
So that is the story as I heard it. My dad knows the name of the detective in S.F.
Re:My Dad remembers the original case (Score:2)
How to spot an Urban Legend [about.com]
Re:My Dad remembers the original case (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:My Dad remembers the original case (Score:2)
It would be nice to know how much fact, and how much fiction this story contains. I don't have any reason to think my dad made it up; but someone else might have, and he was just relaying it. I do know that the first time I heard it, I was little (under 10 years old); so it would have had to have been prior to 1971.
Re:My Dad remembers the original case (Score:2)
Although I don't see the point. It is one of those funny stories he tells to point out how goofy people can be; what kinds of things police officers run into. His personal favorite was an 80 lbs drunk guy that just sat in park in Modesto and kept stating "Grrr, grrr, I'm a Texas Tiger!" Kept repeating it over and over.
People can just be goofy.
Whats worse (Score:3, Funny)
I've heard of pissing yourself with laughter but that takes teh cake
Re:Whats worse [OT] (Score:1)
Since they added clothing I've notice that Clean Underwear from Amazon's Target Store [amazon.com] is always listed first in the "Customers who wear clothes also shop for:" section. Unfortunately, what I want to know is the most shopped for items of customers who don't wear clothes - especially attactive female college students who don't wear clothes. In fact if they could break down that information by zip code, then I think Amazon would find themselves generating a lot more traffic.
Re:Whats worse [OT] (Score:2)
Dildos, of course!
Which you would already know if you actually read your spam like a good consumer.
Re:Pipe dream (Score:2)
Prior Art.. (Score:1)
Bummer (Score:1)
RF Protective Clothing (Score:2)
For more info than you could ever want on this, some of which is interesting, and some of which is questionable, check out this page of related links [clarityconnect.com]
be sure, for a good laugh, to check out
http://www.lessemf.com/personal.html [lessemf.com]
which has the more exotic forms of RF protective clothing, including hats, vests, dress shirts, etc. Pricey, too!
Maybe '86? (Score:1)
Time: Middle of a party at fraternity
Event: "10 Men in Tinfoil"
Desctription: Wrap head and groinal area in tinfoil (extra wide food services stuff preferred). Run through party yelling. Endure dumb looks from patrons. Cognoscenti attempt to snatch foil from nether regions.
Effectiveness against mind control: N/A - no one was doing much thinking at the time, or we wouldn't have been running around in aluminum foil.
how's this for a conspiracy theory? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:how's this for a conspiracy theory? (Score:2, Funny)
I've got 'em beat though:
I'm switching to a SARAN-WRAP beanie!
Don't forget earplugs! (Score:3, Funny)
And remember.... Yvan eht nioj!
Real reason ... (Score:2)
Why, is Amazon going on a patent-spree again?
Crest of the Stars (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Crest of the Stars (Score:2)
Make sure you stay tuned after the commercials, there'll be some real genuine news after that, honest! We promise there will be blood and everything! And then more commercials.
Re:Crest of the Stars (Score:2)
You would never let that happen in America, would you?
Dragnet (Score:1)
Good idea for a... (Score:1)
They've remodulated the frequencies... (Score:2)
To bypass the resonant properties of aluminum.
Get a different beanie, one made with
a blend of rare earth elements and a
thin Uranium coating.
(Ty) Beanie (Babies)? (Score:1)
I should go buy a Beanie and make a tin hat for it, just for fun...
U.S. Military (Score:1)
Rediculous! (Score:5, Funny)
Reynolds knew that the CIA and FBI were using mind control through the "cable networks" to persuade the population to upgrade to HBO, the mouthpiece for the Masonic Order of the Illuminati.
You all just think you remember aluminum existing before 1992 because you do not wear your beanies, and have been influenced by HBO. Still need proof? Consider these facts:
1. If you travel outside the US, you will find that no other countries use or have heard of aluminum. (England has something similar called aluminium, which was developed in tandem by Margaret Thatcher's shadow government.)
2. If you travel to another country and they say that they have aluminum, you have not actually travelled to another country, but are on a HBO-enduced mind control trip.
3. Aluminum does not get hot in the oven. I've made thousands of fish sticks in the years after 1992, and no matter how badly I burn them, I can always lift them by the corners of the aluminum foil I placed them on.
Munimula (Score:2)
Re:Munimula (Score:2)
But since aluminum can't be picked up by a magnet it can't be used to shield electomagnetic radiation. So tinfoil is the best, easily obtainable material that can be shaped into a mind control ray deflector hat.
P.S. I seem to remember a tinfoil hat being used for this by some loon on an episode of Dragnet from the late 60's. Can anyone verify this?
Re:Rediculous! (Score:2)
Song: Early reference in "Helmet" (Score:1)
"I've got my helmet on, nothing can do me wrong..."
"My mother feared I was abnormal
I'd take out the colander and put it on my head
People are happy when they know that they're protected
Just let me tell you why I'm smiling"
So you can see this culture is pervasive!
TTFN
Old (original series) twilight zone episode. (Score:2)
Young lady (heiress?) living in a penthouse appartment is hearing voices. About to be dumped into the loony-bin - involuntarily. Turns out her penthouse apt is on the path of a new phone-company or something microwave link and she's picking up the traffic. A little shielding saves the day.
Interestingly, this sort of thing would be entirely plausible with a non-multiplexed AM link. Something similar once happened quite a lot (and may still happen): A bit of corrosion on defective metal dental work will sometimes demodulate broadcast AM signals and pass enough of the current through the auditory nerve to stimulate it (or otherwise couple it to the hearing system somehow). Result: an untuned crystal set. In an area with a single strong AM station - hearing the program material (or at least the lower-frequency portions of it, which is good enough to recognize voices). In an area with multiple strong AM stations, a cacophony - like being in a crowd with everybody talking (or playing a transistor radio tuned to a different station) at once.
And, yes, sometimes people with such a problem end up under medical supervision for paranoia, rather than (or until) having their dental work fixed.
While there may have been a few one-channel AM microwave links in the early days, things quickly evolved. Phone company links were digital and multiplexed by the '60s (and I'm not sure they were EVER unmultiplexed AM), and studio-to-transmitter links were FM ditto.
I have often wondered how much of the tinfoil-hat mind-control mythos got started by the broadcast of that Twilight Zone episode. (See! The media ARE controlling people's minds with hidden broadcast signals...)
Foil jockstraps. (Score:2)
We're talking roughly the amount of power emitted by an 802.11 card, coming from an antenna miles away, not sitting next to a major radar antenna (or inside a microwave oven).
Does your lap get hot when you're Wi-Fiing on your laptop? Maybe you need an aluminum foil jockstrap. B-)
Foil beanies, available now at geekculture.com (Score:1)
Just let us know when you order, (there's a comment field, and no, we will not forward your comments to the CIA) and we will wrap your precious beanie in gorgeous aluminum foil, exceeding both the USA and Canadian Paranoid Association Standards.
Note: Gold foil will be a special order.
8(|:-)
Signs (Score:1)
Be wary of links online... (Score:5, Interesting)
I used to play the game Majestic online [ea.com], and I know for a fact they set up a lot of "pseudo-pages" of companies, home pages, etc. to go along with the storyline, and some of these links that have been given are directly from that game, and a few may be from further down the road (then I was in the game), because they seem to read almost exactly the pages I saw when I was playing.
Sure there are psychos online, but there's also a lot of pages set up for other less insiduous or insane reasons.
Just something to think about.
How I discovered Tinfoil Hats. (Score:5, Funny)
Part of my real-world education in solo practice was that, from time to time, I would get calls from prospective clients who were aggrieved by (alleged) mind-control rays and who wanted me to represent them against the U.S. Government or whomever. I would patiently listen to their stories, and offer to take their cases for $10,000 up front. (Mercifully, no one bit, or the state bar would have had my ass.)
I had fun, but I got tired of being so patient a listener as I had other (billable) demands on my time. I mentioned my surprise (at the number of such calls) to my secretary, who said, "Oh. You just have to tell them to make a tinfoil hat and they'll go away. Works every time." And it did!
100% of prospective mind-ray clients who were instructed to make tinfoil hats went away, presumably satisfied. I even got one or two nice notes in the mail, and a couple of referrals.
Moral: There's no substitute for an experienced legal secretary.
Re:How I discovered Tinfoil Hats. (Score:2)
Hey, I never described the tinfoil hat as a "placebo." I never pass judgment on the truth or falsity of whatever the client is telling me. Law is much like the related occupations of psychiatry and bartending. In fact, if you knew the -truth- about mind control rays, &*(^HEY STOP! YOU'RE HURTING MY BRAIN!!
What's really interesting... (Score:2)
Former AZ Governor (Score:4, Funny)
TFB - RFC 90999 (Score:3, Informative)
My story stems from a congressional intern (don't laugh) under Frank Wolfe in 1986. She was a friend of mine, and told us one day that part of her job was to answer the mail that the congressman got. Everything had to be logged, filed, and in most cases, given a standard form answer. One day, she got one that went something along the lines of:
Or something along those lines. My friend was not exposed to much weirdness in her upscale little life, so she got very scared, and showed the congressman. He simply said (deadpan), "Type up a response telling him to wear tinfoil on his head, take his personal medications, eat more natural vegetables and thank him for being a loyal citizen." She thought he was kidding, he winked at her, and assured her that it would be okay to type that letter. "I don't want him to 'take action' or do whatever he feels necessary if we don't respond. Type it up, and I'll sign it." She did, he did, and they never heard from him again.We may hate politicians, but they have to put up with this kind of stuff a lot.
EM radiation and your brain. (Score:3, Interesting)
In other words, there may be a very good health reason for the ubiquity of self-medicinal aluminium headware. Perhaps we should be attempting to investigate the link between tin hats and improvement in certain forms of mental illness, rather than simply mocking the subject (and QED anyone attempting to study it)?
"These customers also bought..." (Score:4, Funny)
- Clean Underwear from Amazon's Target Store
- Ladybug Rain Boots from Amazon's Nordstrom Store
- Pet Socks from Amazon's Urban Outfitters Store
- Puppy Footed One-Pieces for Newborns from Amazon's Old Navy Store
I think that's one hell of an ensemble, there.You got the wrong Mind Guard link (Score:2)
The wonderful "MindGuard Psychotronic Mind Control Protection" software is at
http://zapatopi.net/mindguard.html [zapatopi.net]
Damn! You have to see the add for the Linux version!
Rocky J. Squirrel
Primal Scream (Score:2)
Re:What the FUCK!? (Score:1)
Re:What the FUCK!? (Score:2)
The one flaw with the plan is that they consider
Re:Heritage? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:WTF? Customers who wear clothes??? (Score:2)
And if I don't buy them from Amazon's Target Store, does that mean I'm not a customer that wear clothes? Does that mean have to get naked? Oh wait till I go over to the girls' dorms with this info..
Customers who don't wear clothes also shop for:
What, no inflatable sheep? Sucks... (Score:1)
KFG
Re:WTF? Customers who wear clothes??? (Score:2)
They're not eBay, and even in eBay, people can't sell dirty underwear.
Re:Looks like the Government already got to him... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:What the fu... (Score:1)