
Go Stand By the Stairs, So I Can Protect You 263
ewhac writes "It seems a programmer named Jetro Lauha, for his submission to the Assembly 2002 competition, decided to explore the realm of solid body physics simulations. So he wrote Porrasturvat -- 'Stair Dismount'. The game involves the application of force vectors to solid bodies connected by links with constrained range of motion, and observing their impact forces against other objects in the environment. ...Or, more colloquially, you push a guy down the stairs and see how much damage he takes. Apparently, any similarity between this game and the Terrible Secret of Space is entirely coincidental."
Waste of resources (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Waste of resources (Score:1, Funny)
I would venture to guess that they'd probably be rather instant.
The bug in this game... (Score:5, Informative)
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:5, Funny)
Do not listen to him, he is mistaken.
You should _shove_ hard on his foot. Shove it down and back into the stairs. I am the pusher robot.
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2)
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2)
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2)
I will push snow on top of Grandma.
I am the Shover Robot (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I am the Shover Robot (Score:2)
PAK CHOOIE UNF. GREATINGS 7.
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:5, Interesting)
tonic -- Jetro Lauha
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2)
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2)
Lemme see... heading 0, pitch 0, about 1000 times the power. Watch the little guy do several flips in mid air as he flies off your screen!
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2, Redundant)
May as well make this into the official high-scrore thread. No cheating guys!
Score: 21429
Tries: 1
Method: Head, full force, Heading 339.66, Pitch -30.08
=Smidge=
Kick to the behind (Score:1, Insightful)
Re:Kick to the behind (Score:1)
Re:Kick to the behind (Score:2)
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2)
Here I am with a score of 90k, and when I bring up the high scores, they are all over 90 million.
but now that I can cheat, err, I mean, know the secret...
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:4, Informative)
pitch between 80-85
target: foot.
full force
I found best at 179.62 and 81.06 full force, got 40,000 before I left the first step
Doesn't happen every time, and you can tell if you've got it by looking at his leg of the foot you hit. If its hasn't got atleast 10,000 before he gets off the first 2 steps, reset, try again. Vary the verticle angle, use the arrow keys, small increments.
It needs to be full force, (or within 2 bars)
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2)
Perfect settings, thanks. Got over 133000 right away. My 6 year old daughter thinks this is the funniest thing she's seen in a while. Maybe I should be worried...
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2)
My best effort: 479,962. I've also got two over 200,000.
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2)
Can you beat my low score of 9? :-)
Re:The bug in this game... (Score:2)
Reminds me of a movie I saw (Score:3, Funny)
Any Similarity between this game (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Any Similarity between this game (Score:2)
What do you expect from a coder named "Jet[h]ro"?
For assembly 2002? I dont think so.... (Score:5, Funny)
thats what HE wants us to believe....
Its quite interesting that the stairs were based on his local library and that he recently had an big argument with the librarian (who was, coincidently, sleeping with Jetro's partner)
But, of course, last sundays accident was a horrible coincidence and he honestly didnt mean to stumble and push the librarian on the upper left arm at a 37.6 degree angle or anything...
Which is another amazing coincidence because thats precisely how the highest (non-buggy) score submitted to his website was achieved!
Re:For assembly 2002? I dont think so.... (Score:5, Informative)
Anyway, the true story is that the idea for the game came when one work day I personally almost did a stair dismount, and we started joking with colleagues about making a game out of that..
Re:For assembly 2002? I dont think so.... (Score:2, Interesting)
It happens much faster - but the physics that impact tendons and bones are fascinating to ponder (and then my foot bent way back and put stress on this little bone, causing it to
Maybe the game creator could add a little deal where you can go in an x-ray the bones on stair man
Re:For assembly 2002? I dont think so.... (Score:2)
FANTASTIC idea. Mod parent up, or just code it!!! (Score:2)
Family Guy (Score:2)
I bet Stewie the baby would have loved this simulation...
If only he didn't try knocking his Mum down the stairs on the day that Death was incapacitated due to a twisted ankle. Although sawing the leg off the Armoir (making it fall on top of her) and the grenade to finish things off would have been another simulation in itself!
Expansion pack (Score:3, Funny)
Damn you (Score:5, Funny)
I actually have played that game a couple of times, and now you pushed the website down the stairs with the /. effect! What do you expect I will do with my obsession to push people, when I next take the stair down to leave the office :)
** Ohh, this is the perfect chance to plug the analysis of the slashdot effect [openchallenge.org] once more.
Re:Damn you (Score:2)
On side note, the taat.fi server seems to have survived the effect very well. But I guess that's no wonder with Apache and the network-delay between US-Finland working as the final saviour.
Re:Damn you (Score:2)
Are they looking for any new people? I would not mind pushing people as a full time job. I can already image the job. Some dipshit says "Please do not push me down the stairs again, I fell 6 times already today and I am bleeding." My response "Shutup" *PUSH*
Teehee (Score:1, Funny)
You: Will you push me down the stairs?
Iniaes: Twice, if you manage to get back up.
Re:Teehee (Score:2, Funny)
Iniaes: What kind of bot would you like to see?
You: Bukakke bot!
Iniaes: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
*2 minutes go by*
Iniaes: He probably just wants to take over my cells and then explode inside me like a barrel of runny chopped liver! Or maybe he'd like to psychologically terrorise me until I have no objection to a right-wing military takeover of my apartment! I guess I should call Al Pacino!
You: Hi Al Pacino.
Iniaes: Hi there, Bill gates. Can you rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
You: Bill Gates Loves Bukkake
Iniaes: I know he's rich... but I didn't know he loves bukkake .
You: Have you ever seen Natalie Portman
Iniaes: Nope... I haven't seen it. What's it like?
You: She's hot, and petrified.
Iniaes: hot and petrified is she?
You: Yes, Yoda says.
Iniaes: I see. Civilization is fun! Anyway, it keeps me busy!!!
You: What the fark? Start making sense.
Iniaes: Try expressing yourself another way. I started without you.
You: Look. Start saying amusing things or this'll get modded down even further on Slashdot.
Iniaes: My eyes aren't attached right now. I started without you.
You: I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU AND THEN KILL YOU, YOU STUPID LITTLE BUNCH OF INSIGNIFICANT CODE...
Iniaes: Do you think your plan will succeed?
You: Yes, thanks for asking.
Iniaes: And? It was nothing.
You: I give up.
Iniaes: You surrender?
You: Yes, I'm French
Iniaes: Go on... Are you from Canada or France?
You: France numbnuts, I just surrendered!
Iniaes: What's your favorite part of France?
You: I want to kill you for being an idiot.
Iniaes: I believe that killing is morally objectionable. It's kinda hard to reconcile that with my primary purpose, which is to push humans down the stairs.
See? It all goes back to the fact that the DAMN BOT WANTS TO PUSH ME DOWN THE STAIRS!!!
*Sigh*
good to see that a l33t haxor is already on top (Score:4, Informative)
Re:good to see that a l33t haxor is already on top (Score:5, Informative)
If I get around taking time for the project, I'll be adding some more obfuscation for those things (as if that would help any
Re:good to see that a l33t haxor is already on top (Score:2)
anyway it wouldn't be hard to make the online score database bullet proof. just have the initial conditions uploaded together with the score
Great game!!!
Oh, it's like that... (Score:5, Funny)
Phil, just me
Uses the Open Dynamics Engine (Score:5, Informative)
Basic tools for producing cool toys/games (Score:2, Informative)
The parent article is quite correct. If you're doing any solid-body physics based stuff, ODE rocks. Combine it with SDL [libsdl.org] and OSG [openscenegraph.org] and you have the basic tools to produce some really cool stuff. Throw in the Demeter Terrain Engine [terrainengine.com] if you want a bit of scenery to go with it. I've tied all four together for experimenting with what makes a good driver interface for a hovertank.
The Stair-dismount makes good use of joints, and collision detection features of ODE - but even if you don't need these, the force model of ODE is a lot of fun to play with on its own. But if you *are* ambitious, it has specialised joint and suspension-spring models for doing things like wheeled vehicles pretty easily.
With all these tools available under LGPL, those of you like me - who don't like writing a graphics/physics engine so much as actually writing cool simulations with said engines - have a much better point to start from than even 2 years ago.
Re:Uses the Open Dynamics Engine (Score:2)
Slashdot - Melting servers since 1997 (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Slashdot - Melting servers since 1997 (Score:1)
Re:Slashdot - Melting servers since 1997 (Score:5, Informative)
Available here [scene.org] on scene.org [scene.org] who have a complete archive of Assembly entries and most other demo compos.
Similar Programme... (Score:5, Informative)
Go Here -> http://www.chroniclogic.com/ [chroniclogic.com]
Re:Similar Programme... (Score:2, Funny)
This early in the morning.. I need to kill not think.
Re:Similar Programme... (Score:2)
Goddamn! (Score:2)
Now how will I get any work done?
Hrmmm (Score:2, Funny)
Interesting license ;) (Score:5, Funny)
I'm sure it must L6kld8j4's ability to come up with a novel slant in D6y893 that makes it so appealing to 8q39ys.
8q39ys.
I don't have a subject (Score:1, Informative)
Posting anonymously because this is off topic. I had to say it. It was too weird.
only one flight? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:only one flight? (Score:3, Funny)
Well duh!
At that point a schoolbus full of kids would come down the road and bash him into an open manhole into the subway system where he'd get hit by the F-train. If you time it just right he'll get dragged along by the train and up onto some elevated track where he'd fly off with enough force to crash through the window of the Acme Rocket-Powered rollerskate factory...
-
Misplaced credtis (Score:2, Funny)
http://www.somethingawful.com/article.php?id=28
How long... (Score:2, Funny)
Finnish Hillbilly? (Score:3, Funny)
Escalator (Score:4, Funny)
Jetro Lauha Has Been Protected... (Score:3, Funny)
He has gone down the stairs.
Pak Chooie uNF.
Uh oh.. (Score:3, Funny)
I think we just pushed his webserver down the stairs.
Re:Uh oh.. (Score:2)
The webserver has been protected.
I wish this was skinnable.... (Score:3, Interesting)
Jaysyn
Funny, according to these guys it's patented... (Score:5, Interesting)
Wonderful! (Score:4, Funny)
Only one way to solve this problem. No, not reform the patent office... PUSH THE PATENT CLERKS DOWN THE STAIRS!
Neck (Score:2)
It seems the score is derived mainly from how hard the body part initially hits, not the strain and angle to which the body part is pressed while it's in contact with the ground? One would think a pleasing neck-snap should yield the highest scores...
oh that similarity. (Score:4, Funny)
Is the similarity that they both are unavailable due to massive slashdotting?
Link to the flash movie... (Score:2)
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/secretofs
Mirror (Score:2, Informative)
Download game ZIP [mrhostbot.com]
Download EXE installer [mrhostbot.com]
Mirror provided by Mr HOSTBOT [mrhostbot.com]
Productivity just went negative (Score:5, Funny)
(He's gone, shew.) Handrails and doorknobs would be a plus. You could include some quirky plot, make it like Thief. You have to sneak around the office, driven by some unexplainable urge to shove people down stairs. Leave it unexplainable and focus on gameplay. If there's a witness, you get caught, game over. If the victim isn't hit hard enough in the head, he can tell people what happened, game over. And of course, powerups!
Over 100k =) (Score:2)
Force: 6 bars
Heading: 37.24
Pitch: 48.41
Almost fell out of my chair when I saw his head pop off for a second, after he hit the side of the stairs!
Re:Over 100k =) (Score:2)
I like it. (Score:3, Funny)
New Game: Porraslurshdat (Score:4, Funny)
I've had that working since 1997. (Score:3, Interesting)
Here's my simulation of someone falling down a circular staircase. [.avi, 1.5MB] [animats.com]. Note that there's less "boink" than with impulse/constraint simulators; the bounces take several frames, rather than being instantaneous. That's because Falling Bodies is a spring/damper system, which produces better results. Takes more cycles, though.
Now everybody does falling downstairs as a demo for physics engines. I've created a cliche, like the old "teapot" graphics test.
More videos. [animats.com]
(Most of these videos are encoded with the Intel Indeo codec, which Intel discontinued, but you can still get it from Ligos. [ligos.com] I should convert that material to another codec. What would you suggest that will work five years from now?)
Re:I've had that working since 1997. (Score:2)
It's unclear whether you're laying claim to human forms falling down stairs, or any object falling down stairs, but I was watching stuff fall down stairs at SIGGRAPH in 1987, ten years earlier.
I'm pretty sure the research was peformed by MIT. I saw renderings of a vase, a toy car, and a park bench fall down stairs. I also saw a bunch of rigid soccer balls bouncing against each other and the environment. The techniques were published in the proceedings that year.
Schwab
Re:I've had that working since 1997. (Score:2)
Talking about absurd patents.. (Score:2)
So anyone know where the compo archives are? (Score:2)
I especially like the 'cram as much cool stuff in as few bytes as possible' sections, like 4k or 256B.
And if you like it.. (Score:2, Informative)
But be nice, don't slashdot the scene.org [scene.org] servers that pouët is hosted on
Download my Terrible Mixes! (Score:2)
Re:Hit me! (Score:1)
For some reason he took a nose dive down the side of the stairs instead of down the stairs themselves.
I fell out of my chair laughing.
Re:Hit me! (Score:2)
Re:Hit me! (Score:2)
Ever try to get him to fly off the back of the stairs?
Re:Hit me! (Score:2)
Method: Hard hit from behind to the back in an(about) 45 degrees upwards angle.
Re:Assembly? (Score:1, Funny)
In response to your question, you arn't making alot of sense. Assembly is a programming language. Suggest you post your question to the TI group, or comp.sys.hp48 on usenet.
Just to make sure I don't get modded up, I'd like to add something:
Slashdot moderators are retards. Yes, retards. The average slashdot mod is a crack smoking tree hugging hippie who hugs trees and codes for doomed open source.
Thankyou for your cooperation in modding this down.
Re:Assembly? (Score:1)
Assembly code is incredibly fast, and massively time consuming to write. It is very un-portable, though... assembly code written for an Intel Pentium-class chip sometimes won't work on an AMD chip or even a Pentium IV.
Re:Hey!!! you insensitive clod (Score:2, Informative)
Re:Hey!!! you insensitive clod (Score:5, Insightful)
Assuming you were responding to the comment on the site about them releasing a linux version, Yes there IS a need
If we just accept everything that works great on WINE, then why would anyone bother writing applications for linux?
WINE is a two edged sword...
at the moment, it provides a great service - BUT its one that may very well come back n bite us in our shiney metal's...
We need to encourage developers to write FOR LINUX - not for windows-that-works-on-wine-aswell
WINE worse than GTK? (Score:2)
If we just accept everything that works great on WINE, then why would anyone bother writing applications for linux?
Often, you can throw a programmer out of Windows, but you can't throw the Windows out of the programmer. A Windows app will in most cases recompile just fine for a *n?x system using Winelib. Thus, I accept Winelib as just another widget set, analogous to GTK+ or Qt.
Winelib on Cygwin... sick.
Re:direct translation... (Score:2, Insightful)
25, but it looks REALLY crazy (Score:2)
Heading: 180.48
Pitch: -50.37
Re:25, but it looks REALLY crazy (Score:2)
It works with his other foot too...
Re:What's the lowest any of you have gotten? (Score:2)
Lowest score: Zero.
Pitch: 89.90 degrees.
Heading: 180.00.
Force: 1 bar.
Apply to neck.
The fellow will land on his can, flop back, and not move any further. Sometimes it looks like he'll start to ooze down the stairs, but the game usually decides he's not going to take any further damage and cuts out before anything more happens.
Schwab
880,730 (Score:2)
Somebody beat me now!!
Re:880,730 (Score:2)