Satirewire Calls It Quits 106
stuyman writes "After almost three years, Andrew Marlatt, SatireWire's best (and only) employee is leaving the company. Says Marlatt "I all agreed it's time for me to move on...while the decision was certainly difficult, the meeting was actually quite harmonious. I brought doughnuts." He's going to start doing other things, and it has nothing to do with money. Read about it here. Satirewire has landed, please remain seated until we are fully stopped in the terminal area..." I owe Andrew some heavy laughter, and wish him good luck.
That Sucks... (Score:2, Funny)
He's off to his next career (Score:5, Funny)
Re:He's off to his next career (Score:2)
And suing The Onion for "patent infringement" may be especially stupid given that The Onion has been around for so much longer than SatireWire.
Re:He's off to his next career (Score:2)
Re:He's off to his next career (Score:2)
Re:He's off to his next career (Score:4, Funny)
Re:He's off to his next career (Score:1)
Re:He's off to his next career (Score:2)
-Bill
Where can I put MY tech humor? (Score:3, Interesting)
Is there *decent* website we can go to in order to publish our own faux tech news?
Re:Where can I put MY tech humor? (Score:1)
You're reading one now.
J
Re:Where can I put MY tech humor? (Score:5, Funny)
we can go to in order to publish our own faux tech news?
Yeah it is called Slashdot
Is there *decent* website
Oh decent, well no I don't think so
Re:Where can I put MY tech humor? (Score:1)
Clearly he doesn't want to tarnish the site with weak humor so it won't be accepting submissions. It also seems as if he'd rather not be doing any maintenence.
looks like it ain't happening. Why don't YOU make an open humor site? easy enough to do...
Brian
Re:Where can I put MY tech humor? (Score:2)
Re:Where can I put MY tech humor? (Score:1)
try kuro5hin.org (Score:2)
more brilliant twisted humor (Score:2, Interesting)
A slashdottting seems like a great way to shut down the site
Satire is a really powerful way to get a message across. This weeks story telling boring people not to encrypt stuff will help me to convince people why they do need cryptography.
http://satirewire.com/news/aug02/encryption.sht
My personal favorite story has to be this one about Microsoft Outlook, i inlcude it anytime some sends me a virus warning.
http://www.satirewire.com/news/0103/outlook.sht
classic just classic
Foot-and-Mouth First Virus Unable To Spread Through Microsoft Outlook
Satire is a powerful weapon.
Satirewire will be dearly missed.
Re:In case it gets Slashdotted (Score:1)
The slashdot effect is getting rarer and rarer as bandwidth goes up and the slashdot user base doesn't grow proportionally.
Silly redundancy...
Brian
Axis of Just As Evil (Score:2)
Actually, my favorite satirewire article in recent memory was ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL [satirewire.com] which sort of highlighted the silliness of identifying three countries as some sort of menace to humanity as a whole. Especially given the fact that Iran and Iraq are bitter enemies the idea that they are some sort of "axis" is crazy.
GMD
Re:Axis of Just As Evil (Score:2)
Though I can't remember who said it, it pretty much validated my favorite quote: "There are some things of such deadly earnest that they can only be safely told under cover of a joke." (It was that comedian, Rogers
Re:more brilliant twisted humor (Score:1, Troll)
Re:more brilliant twisted humor (Score:2)
You could have (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:more brilliant twisted humor (Score:2, Insightful)
"It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too."
Re:more brilliant twisted humor (Score:1, Troll)
Quit while you're ahead. (Score:2, Interesting)
And at least he's going to keep writing, so unlike, say, Bill Watterson, we're still going to hear from him
Re:Quit while you're ahead. (Score:1)
Re:Quit while you're ahead. (Score:3, Interesting)
e.g. Well executed: Monty Python, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Bill Watterson, Gary Larson
e.g. Poorly executed: The X-Files, AC/DC, Metallica, Charles Shultz, Microsoft
But now we'll never know... (Score:1)
It's about time (Score:4, Funny)
Re:It's about time (Score:5, Funny)
A Beowulf cluster of dead horses? That should provide enough power to settle the emacs/vi debate.
Re:It's about time (Score:3, Funny)
Wow. This could turn into an "emacs vs. vi" flame war. Who knew?
Thats It! (Score:1, Insightful)
Re:Thats It! (Score:1)
There is definitely an element of truth to that: The net has lost a lot of its joy. Between watching hilarious ads on AdCritic (sidenote: I submitted an article today mentioning http://www.ads.com [ads.com], which almost fills in for AdCritic, but the story was rejected in a record 10 seconds), reading hilarious articles on http://www.suck.com [suck.com] (which had absolutely brilliant writing, and defined the earlier Internet), laughing to Mirsky's Worst of the Web (this was back when I had a little ecommerce sites on Turnpike Emporium, a host I chose because it was Mirsky's host. My little computer configurator was, some 7 years ago, more advanced than most computer store configuration utilities today), hell even reading sites like Old Man Murray [oldmanmurray.com]. Other great sites like Quarter to Three [quartertothree.com] simply stopped updating (though if you read the Shoot Club archives [quartertothree.com], you'll see that it was some great stuff).
I still believe that the ideas I presented in this article [yafla.com] (which was linked by a Slashdot story some time over a year ago) still hold true now more than ever.
So, now... (Score:3, Interesting)
The Book (Score:4, Informative)
Re:So, now... (Score:2)
I'm not sure, I think he might have a book out. He hinted as much in the article.
Thank God for Adequacy (Score:1)
Good luck to him! (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Good luck to him! (Score:2)
Well (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Well (Score:2, Informative)
It's called humor.
Re:Well (Score:1)
I mean, shit
Re: actually he did (Score:2, Informative)
"New Haven, Conn. -- Citing creative differences, SatireWire's founder and sole employee, Andrew Marlatt, announced that as of today, the site will no longer be updated."
[emphasis added]
- mark
Re:Well (Score:2)
"New Haven, Conn. (SatireWire.com) -- Citing creative differences, SatireWire's founder and sole employee, Andrew Marlatt, announced that as of today, the site will no longer be updated."
satirewire (Score:1)
Oh no! (Score:1)
Turned it off? (Score:2)
Oh, ... wait a minute.
Sell it! (Score:1)
and a cookie.
But seriously... I'm saddened. Those articles were some of the funniest things I've read... I'll miss the few and far between articles.
Oh great! What am I supposed to read now? Salon? (Score:1)
Re:Oh great! What am I supposed to read now? Salon (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Oh great! What am I supposed to read now? Salon (Score:1)
Re:Oh great! What am I supposed to read now? Salon (Score:1)
Brunching Shuttlecocks [brunching.com]
There's adequacy, "is your son a hacker?" (Score:1)
Wow (Score:1)
And now... (Score:1)
"That's not retirement... I'll SHOW you retirement!"
About time he got a real job (Score:5, Insightful)
After all, we may enjoy satirewire a great deal, but this funny man should be exposed to a wider, less geekocentric audience. Instead of doing a webpage, he should trade his notoriety for a job writing for a sitcom, and make good money while his humor is watered down beyond recognition and his imagination is crushed into dust.
Don't be sad because satirewire is gone! Don't be sad, DESPAIR, because the REST of our culture is a soul-destroying wasteland trampling and undermining the human spirit.
No, N0, NO! (Score:2, Funny)
I don't wanna for it to stop.
I want my SatireWire
(can you tell I'm the dad of a 2.5 year old)
No. Okay, Now I'm swatting at the monitor
I'll continue to cycle through these steps until I get what I want, catharsis kicks in, or my wife gets home - whichever occurs first.
My Favorite (Score:2)
My second favorite was the one about "all that foreign shit on the internet."
Thaks for the laughs.
You damn quitter.
obligatory links (Score:4, Informative)
Are you tangential? [satirewire.com]
Imagine there's no countries [satirewire.com]
Should Marty Xerox Egypt? [satirewire.com]
Least-used chat e-bbreviations [satirewire.com]
Ask the startled [satirewire.com]
Men do talk about relationships [satirewire.com]
Canada has a waship? like for war? [satirewire.com]
God names next chosen people; it's Jews again [satirewire.com]
New "Segway Human Transporter" not tested for acronyms [satirewire.com]
You are missing the best one (Score:1)
My favorite bit:
As is likely to be the case with Bush, most such incidents have little impact on world events, but Doris Greyley, author of "Dishonorable Discharge: The Rise and Fall of Dictators," said many leaders in crisis have found themselves grabbing the veins of power at unpropitious times, often with disastrous results.
Re:obligatory links (Score:5, Funny)
While we're at it, here's my personal absolute favorite: Interview with the Search Engine [satirewire.com]
Re:obligatory links (Score:1)
Re:obligatory links (Score:3, Funny)
Slashdotted (Score:1)
Having never read the site (Score:1)
Here's one for the road... (Score:5, Funny)
Marlatt, who just recently announced his retirement from the web site, is now the focus of an investigation focusing on financial dealings with himself. In a memo obtained by OSDNews, we have learned that Mr. Marlatt awarded himself quite a hefty sum of money as a settlement for firing himself. When questioned about it, Mr. Marlatt replied "I had that in my contract. I had told myself that if I ever wanted to quit, I was not going to walk away with nothing. And just because I am taking 100% out of the company should not mean I am trying to steal all it's funds!"
President Bush, speaking on condition of anonymity, expressed concerned regarding such shady dealings and was quoted as saying "this is exactly the type of deals we need to stop. How can it be that someone can work hard to build something, then shut it down and take all the profits? I might need to have the IRS investigate this character!".
Meanwhile, the Slashdot community was both saddened by the news, and upset at the fact Mr. Marlatt had not bought doughnuts for them.
We contacted CowboyNeal via telephone, but were unable to make out what he said over the incredible sobbing noises he was making.
---
Thank you Andrew! You made us all laugh!
My favorite quote for things like this (Score:5, Insightful)
I would rather leave and have them ask "Why did you leave?", instead of waiting years after my heart was no longer in it, and then have them ask "Why didn't you leave?"
Re:My favorite quote for things like this (Score:2)
tom lehrer opined... (Score:1)
you can't rest on them" that he quit satire
when henry kissinger won the nobel peace prize,
"[because you just can't beat that for
real satire]" (or something to that effect).
naturally, lehrer understands ('cuz he's not dead!)
that satire is an entirely different
animal than parody. i think our good man
passes this test.
a bit of advice comedians give (Score:2)
If you're going through your act, and you're in the last 5 minutes, and you hit a bit in your routine that has the audience rolling, then you say "Thank you, good night!" and get off the stage. Nothing is worse than finishing on a bit that doesn't get a laugh. Always leave them laughing, even if it means leaving the last bit of your routine undone.
Unfortunately, recent political figures seem to have adapted this strategy.
What the hell?!? (Score:2)
Damn you! Damn you all to hell!!!
*cough*
Oh well. Is there any other tech humour sites I don't know about?
Beh (Score:2)
The main problem was (Score:2)