Longest Email Disclaimer Awards 130
evilandi writes: "The Register have announced the results of their Longest Email Disclaimer awards (2001 Daftas). The winner was financiers UBS Warburg with 1081 words, adding nearly seven kilobytes to every email they send." Any really good examples? Post them below. Law firms seem to be the worst offenders.
Re:Encryption? (Score:4)
I tried to explain to the idiot that the file was a code dump from a 2M EPROM chip being sent back to the manufacturer to be checked for errors and modified. THERE WAS NO PLAINTEXT! But she still wouldn't listen to me. "We have strict security policies regarding encrypted content. NO EXCEPTIONS!"
Called the manufacturer and they suggested I do a hex dump and try sending that. It also was blocked as "inappropriate content." Then tried to FTP it to the manufacturer's site but found that FTP was also blocked.
Ended up having to use Laplink to transfer the file to a borrowed laptop, sneak the laptop out of the building, take it home and Laplink it into my home machine just so I could email the file to the manufacturer. By the time the modified file was sent back to me at home I had found a program called Split that would break the file up into pieces small enough to fit on a floppy. Would have worked great except I couldn't install Split on the NT machine at work without administrator privileges. (@%#%$#$%!!!) Still had to laplink it over from a borrowed laptop.
Now I've learned my lesson and moved the development/programming system over to a machine not on the network with it's own free (Bluelight) Internet service. All of this is against company policy; no non-networked machines, no OS except NT, no modems, no open (non-passworded access) machines... Sheesh!
However, we have no problem accepting any and all viruses through Outlook (or LookOut! as we tend to call it), crippling out email 3 times in the last 2 years. Is your company being run by idiots, too?
You know what would be really funny? (Score:1)
:)
oops - they are trying to send out virus's (Score:1)
Even worse than M$ saying that outlooks sending of worms is a positive feature...
Re:Kibo lives! (Score:1)
Bad commentry *is* worse than nothing. Even better than good comments, is code which needs less commentry.
Perfection would be attained when no comments are necessary at all, but this, like most forms of perfection is unattainable.
Re:Two Words (Score:1)
On the other hand there was some mention early this year (during the cucat fiasco) of a section in the postal code prohibiting such restrictions on stuff you send unsolicited. But alas, that's a snail main regulation.
Re:Rather pointless (Score:3)
Agreed. Legal disclaimers are a nightmare dreamed up by lawyers to keep themselves in a job. If they absolutely have to be there (and it's my view that they don't), then they should simply be a reference to the full small print:
Have disclaminers ever _worked_ in court? (Score:5)
sPh
and that's not the worst... (Score:3)
1) Plain text section - big-ass disclaimer only
2) 1 or more arbitrarily name RTF files for the body, and possibly the message being replied to
I think it's HP OpenMail, but whatever it is, it really sucks.
My disclaimer (Score:2)
those of any organisations, nations, species or
schools of thought to which I may be affiliated.
"What we have here is a failure to communicate." (Score:2)
The frightening part is, I know an awful lot of librarians who would implement it. (The people who run html verifiers against their web pages and then proudly display a logo indicating they have end of paragraph tags.)
Speed of light. Conservation of mass. Bureaucracy. Some things are just constant...
Rob
Re:Try out this one... :-( (Score:1)
Even if you did forward it and violate copyright, they wouldn't win anything as damages, a private message email has almost negligent value. (The actual message has almost no value, instead of the information, which you can give away anyway.)
-David T. C.
Re:Genetic Enginerds... (Score:3)
Stupid Email Disclaimers (Score:5)
The most sensible analysis (from a UK perspective) of email disclaimers is on the Stupid Email Disclaimers [goldmark.org] web site. Its contains a bit of logical (and legal) analysis, some sample disclaimers and some parodies as well.
Someone pointed it out on an email list when the Registers story first came out.
Encryption? (Score:3)
Employees must never send or store e-mails or attachments that are obscene, indecent, sexist, racist, defamatory, abusive, in breach of copyright, encrypted or otherwise inappropriate.
(emphasis mine)
Does this strike anyone else as unusually facist? They are lumping privacy into the list of "naughty" types of email. Has anyone else heard of a company that forbids using encryption?
What about SSL or SSH?
Now where's the body? (Score:2)
Re:And the lawyers always get their tithe. (Score:2)
Some facts:
McDonald's coffee was hot enough to cause second and third degree burns. McDonald's serves hundreds of thousands of cups of coffee per day. No human being is perfect.
Conclusion: an accident will occur, and someone will be severely burned.
When this happened, the woman asked McDonald's to cover part of her medical expenses. Not all of them, just part - she was willing to accept that she was partially responsible for the accident, and she wasn't asking for compensation for 'pain and suffering.' McDonalds repeatedly and disrespectfully refused.
So she sued. She got her medical bills paid, she got her 'pain and suffering', and McDonalds was penalized for giving customers a product that they KNEW their customers would hold in their laps and that they KNEW could cause severe tissue damage.
Re:And the lawyers always get their tithe. (Score:2)
True. They were negligent in not telling people that they were being served boiling water. Rational people don't drink boiling water. I understand completely McD's reasons for serving ultra-hot coffee, but they need to be prepared to pay for the consequences of their actions.
While I would agree that she had a case for medical expenses, I do not feel that the US courts should serve the same purpose as the lottery.
Yup. Gotta agree with you there. ACTUAL damages should be paid; compensation for pain and suffering and emotional distress is iffy. Punitive damages are right out.
If a company has done something wrong and deserves to pay punitive damages, then those damages should go to a charity, or the local community, or the Federal treasury. But there is NO reason for a company to pay ME punitive damages. If someone robs my house and the judge sentences them to $a 50,000 fine and five years at hard labor, do I get the cash and the results of his work? Should I? Why then should civil damages be different?
Re:Two Words (Score:2)
On a different note, anyone know whether those disclaimers would stand up in court, like you can't forward it blah...blah...
Like postal mail, noone can tell me what I can or cannot do with stuff which lands in my mailbox. If its so important, then why are you stupid enough to send it to me? Anyone a lawer?
Email Administrators (Score:1)
Translation: Make the bozo that established the policy approve the transmission of every copy of every email sent with the disclaimer.
Re:Rather pointless (Score:1)
Re:Genetic Enginerds... (Score:1)
Kibo lives! (Score:1)
Code commentary is like sex.
If it's good, it's VERY good.
Re:Encryption? (Score:1)
Re:Taking responsibility? (Score:2)
From UBS AG's (AKA UBS SA, AKA UBS Warburg) disclaimer:
So wrong, so wrong... How can information contain viruses? It cannot. It is the carrier which contains those viruses, and only certain specific carriers at that. If they really cared about not sending out those viruses, they would use a carrier which does not allow executable content. Like, say... ASCII text.
Of course, they're in the financial sector, so they're probably shackled and tied to the upgrade vortex from Redmond. Bummer, I say.
Re:Taking responsibility? (Score:1)
Re:Taking responsibility? (Score:2)
Ok, so perhaps it ammounts to a fraction of a dollar a month for the average home user. But, why should I be taxed for your footers? Just slap a URL on your messages and make the page as beefy as you like.
Taking responsibility? (Score:4)
I've always been the champion of RFC 1855 [faqs.org] AKA the nettiquite guidelines. And I quote:
My Anti-disclaimer. (Score:1)
No disclaimer shall be read or observed. Any person (either corporate or individual) making any statement shall be held civily and criminally liable as a party to any act I may do while following the intentional, implied or inferred (whether correctly or not) directions from said statement. So there.
That way it's your fault if you reply to it and I screw up.
WWW Disclaimers (Score:3)
--
Three languages (Score:2)
Questo messaggio è riservato; il suo contenuto non rappresenta
in nessun caso un impegno da parte di AXA Assicurazioni, AXA SIM,
od AXA REIM, ad eccezione di quanto previsto in accordi conclusi
per iscritto tra voi ed AXA Assicurazioni, AXA SIM o AXA REIM.
Qualsiasi pubblicazione, utilizzo o diffusione, anche parziale di
questo messaggio, deve essere preventivamente autorizzata. Nel
caso in cui non foste destinatari del presente messaggio,vogliate
cortesemente avvertire immediatamente il mittente.
Ce message est confidentiel; son contenu ne represente en aucun
cas un engagement de la part de AXA Assicurazioni, AXA SIM ou AXA
REIM sous reserve de tout accord conclu par ecrit entre vous et
AXA Assicurazioni, AXA SIM ou AXA REIM. Toute publication,
utilisation ou diffusion, meme partielle, doit etre autorisee
prealablement. Si vous n' etes pas destinataire de ce message,
merci d'en avertir immediatement l'expediteur.
This message is confidential; its contents do not constitute a
commitment by AXA Assicurazioni, AXA SIM or AXA REIM, except
where provided for in a written agreement between you and AXA
Assicurazioni, AXA SIM or AXA REIM. Any unauthorised disclosure,
use or dissemination, either whole or partial, is prohibited. If
you are not the intended recipient of the message, please notify
the sender immediately.
-1, dump it (Score:2)
web forumns (Score:2)
Re:tame by comparison (Score:1)
No CLUE?!?! (Score:1)
Resource Loading (Score:2)
And what about... (Score:2)
Reading this message assumes you've read http://...
That's funny anyway. Basically, emails disclaimers are saying "warning : maybe the content of this message has been modified by a third party" .
But well... why would the third party modify the message body but leave the disclaimer ?
That's pointless.
To send a message that has to be trusted :
But of course, spammers may use this to validate addresses they have sent fake important messages to. Fighting spammers stupidity is an endless war.
here's mine (Score:1)
address may not be added to any commercial mail list with out my
permission. Violation of my privacy with advertising or SPAM will
result in a suit for a MINIMUM of $500 damages/incident, $1500 for
repeats.
Perhaps this is slightly offtopic but... (Score:1)
Or maybe there's a large conspiracy against the poor man by Slashdot, Intel, Microsoft, and the Bavarian Illuminati. Well, maybe not. But there could be!
OK, I'll get get some sleep now. But not after I link to Mike's new page. [theinquirer.net]
Yet Another Disclaimer Archive ("yada yada yada":) (Score:2)
Among other things, this page [ashleypomeroy.com] has an earlier and much shorter version of the UBS warburg disclaimer. Apparently it has been growing -- run away! run away!
Re:tame by comparison (Score:1)
Aside from the fact that moderators are generally clueless. Either that or Michael is on the loose again.
tame by comparison (Score:2)
This electronic mail message and any attached files contain information intended
for the exclusive use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and
may contain information that is proprietary, privileged, confidential and/or
exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended
recipient, you are hereby notified that any viewing, copying, disclosure or
distribution of this information may be subject to legal restriction or
sanction. Please notify the sender, by electronic mail or telephone, of any
unintended recipients and delete the original message without making any copies
As long as we're on the subject of emails, though, I should point out that even worse than HTML mail and 7K legal mumbo-jumbo is:
embedded Flash sig files!
I kid you not:
http://www.cetan.com/flash-email/flash-email.html [cetan.com]
There are 3 screen shots from this flash embedded email.
Re:Encryption? (Score:2)
Re:No CLUE?!?! (Score:2)
Have you considered getting a clue yourself?
PGP/GPG Key: 0xC2F837FD [keyserver.net].Have a nice day of course ...
The only way to be sure (Score:1)
recipient. If you are not the intended recipient, you are obligated to
kill yourself and others who might have seen it immediately. Thank you.
Wasted bandwidth... (Score:5)
</Sarcasm>
And people wonder why we need faster routers....
On the validity of legal agreements in e-mail (Score:5)
This comment must be destroyed within 30 minutes of reading under full penalty of U.S. law. The editors of this site shall be held responsible if this comment is not removed at the end of the appropriate time period.
This agreement is not applicable in the states of New Jersey, Maryland, and Delerium.
All Your First Born are Belong to Us
--
Re: "You have received email..." (Score:1)
I'm waiting for the day I see: Shutdown and Restart: your system must first be restarted before this feature can be used. Almost as bad as when you get the End Task box for an unnamed task (the shutdown process); ending the task halts the shutdown process and you're right back at the desktop so you hit the pwr and then Win9x blames you for not shutting the system down properly.... you know the drill. Grrr.
Re:To disclaim the infinite... (Score:5)
This is so true. I love reading the small print on products to find exactly what some stupid people have done with them. "Do not insert forcibly into body cavities","Not to be used for drying pets", etc.
My favorite disclaimer was from a local brewery who were giving out scratch cards to win a free T-shirt. It said something like:
This offer valid until we
Maybe this disclaimer is needed (funny)... (Score:2)
Slashdot posts story about Register *shocker* (Score:1)
One can dream I suppose.
xxx Stuii!
Re:Genetic Enginerds... (Score:5)
Disclaimers.... (Score:1)
....are nearly as annoying as people who span their comments over the title and body of their posts.
NOTE: The information in this post is confidential and may be legally privileged. If you are not the intended recipient, you must not read, use or disseminate that information. Although this post and any attachments are believed to be free of any virus, or any other defect which might affect any computer or IT system into which they are received and opened, it is the responsibility of the recipient to ensure that they are virus free and no responsibility is accepted by NTSwerver for any loss or damage arising in any way from receipt or use thereof.
NTSwerver is a bored person. A list of the names of bored persons is open to inspection in your dreams.
This message has been checked for all known viruses by UUNET delivered through the MessageLabs Virus Control Centre. For further information visit http://www.virus.net/products/security/virus/
----------------------------
Ridiculous virus warnings (Score:1)
A few months ago I received an e-mail with the following disclaimer:
The sender believes the e-mail is free from viruses? Considering most of the recent virus and worm outbreaks are spread without the sender addressing any messages at all, that doesn't offer much consolation. It is even more ridiculous to say that an e-mail "could have been infected during transmission"--like someone is going to intercept a message, infect it, and pass it right on?
The disclaimer was actually forwarded to me from of my supervisors--thankfully it didn't take much of a debate for me to explain that our company didn't need to tag all of our outgoing mail with the same text.
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Re:web forumns (Score:1)
ChodaBoy
law firms and email disclaimers (Score:4)
Wouldn't you seize the opportunity to advertise your work in every email you send?
Great idea (Score:1)
---------------------------------
Re:On the validity of legal agreements in e-mail (Score:2)
Of course I agree, I set the price of my first born at $1 trillion. If you are unable to pay the full amount you admit to breach of contract. Furthermore in the event of breach of contract you agree to give me all of your assets, financial or otherwise as damages. Reading this statement is a binding contract under UCITA. You have no chance to survive make your time.
Yeah... (Score:5)
I hate long disclaimers...
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the new slashdot effect (Score:1)
Usenet Posting (Score:1)
Seriously, I tried looking for it but that's quite a popular group and I don't have the time, so if anyone can tip me off to the thread name I'd appreciate it (in case I need to cover my @$$). Better yet would be a link to the thread on groups.google.com (work won't let me install a newsreader). Cheers. Dr Cheeks.
Re:Usenet Posting (Score:1)
I think the case in Cali was an extreme one. Since scientology has a much lower penetration here in the UK, and the courts seem considerably less likely to overreact to something like that, I figure I'm safe from litigation. And if I'm not I can always make use of the ease with which us Europeans can cross borders within the EU, and leg it to Germany : )
Again, thanks for the heads up; I'm glad you thought the post was funny. And it's increased traffic to my barely-visited site way more than Lycos ever did!
N.B. The CoS is illegal over in Germany.
Proposed Church of Scientology Disclaimer (Score:5)
Re:As a former UBSW employee... (Score:2)
Yup (Score:1)
As for the other guy, who thought the disclaimer was stupid, these brokers are not terribly computer savy, and so they frequently pass along things like I Love You to their huge several hundred person client lists. Without that disclaimer, UBS Warburg could potentially be liable for any damages caused (despite the fact that the recipient would have to be as stupid as the sender in order to get infected). They still could be, but if they can avoid liability, they will.
My views may not necessarily reflect those of UBS PaineWebber :)
The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned.
Re:Two Words (Score:1)
To disclaim the infinite... (Score:5)
After reviewing the first contract, I was impressed by the attorney's disclaimer, and his insight into ways in which his client could be screwed. Surely, I had not foreseen those factors. The next contract had a similarly insightful disclaimer, although it pointed out very different issues to be disclaimed.
Having now reviewed scores of these contracts over many years, I have learned several things:
<bart
That's not a .sig... (Score:1)
I'm fully aware of my sig:text ratio...
Re:Two Words (Score:1)
The Disclaimer for "Product" (Score:1)
Product not included. Product may differ from illustration. Not intended for use. Prices may vary. Selection may vary by location. Sales tax will be added to the retail price of all taxable items. Product has been shown to cause Cancer in laboratory animals. The makers of Product are not responsible for loss of hair, injury, or death resulting from the use of Product. Do not put product in mouth, nose, eyes, or other orifices. If contact occurs rinse immediately. If ingestion occurs induce vomiting. Do not place Product in direct sunlight or clean with harsh solvents, as deformation may occur. Dry clean only. Product not fit for human consumption. In countries abiding by the Geneva Convention, Product may not be legal. Product is manufactured by slave labor in such countries where slave labor exists. Product may not function as described. Other Products available. Product may induce epileptic seizures. Street price may vary. All refunds must be accompanied by sales receipt. Not all standards upgradable. Product subject to blackout dates. Receipt of purchase required for purchase. Company is not responsible for omissions or errors in typography or photography. Other Product names are trademark of their respective companies. Product may emit radiation. Not intended for use by children. Extended use may cause blindness or even death. Provided by the management for your protection. If empty please call attendant. Store in a cool dry place. Does not comply with FCC class B radiation emitting device. Authorized for use in military applications. Not for export. Export of product may be considered treason. Do not use Product with prescription drugs. Other capacities available. Optional accessories available. Product shipped in sealed lead case. Product escorted by U.S. military personnel. Specifications may be changed without notice. 1 week return. Allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. 30 day warranty begins on day of shipment. Supply of product may be limited. Taste, Color, and Smell may vary. Contents flammable. Contents under pressure. Contains CFC's. Product contents do not comply with EPA standards. Product eligible for parole in 6-8 months. No animals were harmed in the making of product. Product contains 50% animal fatty tissue. Offer only applies to new offers. Contains one or more of the following: Albatross, Beryllium, Carcinogens, Dung, Excrement, Funk, Guam, Hallucinogens, Igneous Rock, Joe, Korn, Lumber, Mike, Narcotics, Orange #5, Pork, Something Starting with a Q, Rust, Stool, Tubers, Unsanitized Waste, Velcro, Walrus, Xylophone, Yak, Zirconium. Product not responsible for conduct of Product. Late Night prices may vary. Product not sold after dark. Product ends at Date, or until supplies last. Only available at participating locations. With Approved Credit. Pricing available to qualifying commercial organizations. Estimated street prices. Product may not be for those who use Product on a regular basis. Not recommended for pregnant women. Proof of citizenship required for purchase. Use product at own risk. Damage may occur during shipment. Packaged by weight, not volume. Contents may settle during shipment. Other models available. 10% restocking fee on returned Product. Some assembly required. Syntax error in 105. For full functionality optional part #105 must be purchased. Part #105 not available in U.S. Part #105 may only be purchased in U.S. Do not use near heat or flame. Do not smoke until product is dry. Product is not associated with Product(TM) of Company. Product imported by Product Importers, Denver , Co. All major credit cards accepted. Product contains 3.2% alcohol by volume.
Re:And what about... (Score:1)
Re:I don't get it. (Score:1)
"If you want to buy or sell stuff, don't use e-mail to tell us, cos we'll probably ignore it. Also, we might want to check up that it is you if you ask us to do anything by e-mail.
"If you want us to give your stuff to other people or change your own details, write to us on real paper.
"If you ask us to do stuff, it will be assumed you asked us at the time we first looked at your instructions. Even then, we might not do it straight away (and you won't complain). If you want us to do something quickly, or you don't want anybody else to know about it, don't use e-mail. Don't use e-mail for anything illegal.
"If you do use e-mail, you realise that other people could read it or tamper with it, something could go wrong, you might get a virus, or it might just be late (if our inbound e-mail server is broken, for example)."
Seems quite clear to me.
Re:Encryption un-PC ?! (Score:1)
There has been at least one case (in the UK) of somebody using their company e-mail system to distribute defamatory material to his/her friends. The person who was the subject of the defamation sued the company for libel (which was deemed to be responsible for "publishing" the e-mail) and won.
Re:Encryption un-PC ?! (Score:2)
I suspect this is less a matter of ignorance and more a matter of possible liability for the Council under the lovely, fluffy, entirely-for-the-greater-good save-the-little-children draconian monstrosity that is the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act. Remember that under UK (insane) law, non-disclosure of a password to any law-enforcement official who decides to ask for it, for any or no stated reason, can land someone with a 10 year prison sentence.
And forgetting a password, or having never known it in the first place, or refusing to give it as the 'encrypted file' inquestion is not yours/not encrypted/a bunch of lost clusters, is implicitly stated in the Act to be no defence at all. Which is of course perfectly sane, reasonable, mature, civilised and a total affront to sanity.
TomV
Outlook (Score:1)
My boss sent me an email that was 365 lines of message source for 20 lines of text.
Re:Encryption? (Score:2)
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Stupidest Web-disclaimer (Score:2)
Now, that's what I call community building.
M.
Two Words (Score:2)
Email disclaimers are a good thing, IMNSHO, but there seems to be a sort of haughtiness arms race when it comes to them, ESPECIALLY lawyers. It seems to me that they assume everyone in the world is out to steal their data, or misquote them, or misdirect their oh-so-vital documents.
Are emails, from lawyers in particular, important?
Yes.
Is everything a lawyer says a pearl of wisdom?
No
If something is so important, either MD5 hash it for veracity, or encrypt it for privacy! This seems like an archaic solution to a new problem.
Re:To disclaim the infinite... (Score:2)
Too true, IRL & cyberspace. I keep telling everyone that the only disclaimer that makes sense on the Internet is:
Send this one through Hotmail a few times.. (Score:1)
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Re:Two Words (Score:1)
your PROHIBITED
That should read: "You're prohibited" (abbreviation from you are).Re:Stephen King, author, dead at 54 (Score:1)
---
Rather pointless (Score:1)
Although, i guess many licence agreements are not ment to be read, just used as backup when something goes wrong, something to fall back to if problems occur. Take napster as an example, they dont care if people copy music illegaly, because when they are used, they are not responsible.
(KISS = Keep It Simple Stupid)
Re:And the lawyers always get their tithe. (Score:2)
And as for the judges, the judge that found McDonalds liable for not warning some (fully grown and presumably employed) idiot that coffee is hot set a precedent (both in peoples minds and in a very legal sense) that ridiculous lawsuits could be won, even if there was no lasting damage.
Don't beat around the bush, say what you really think. The issue as I see it is that common sense doesn't apply anymore -- and I blame the Kennedys for starting this crap. Clinton just added fuel to the fire. Let's look at how common sense has become a rare commodity in the United States of America:
A farmer sets up a stepladder, a common tool used in homes and businesses by the millions. This is not the first time the farmer has used this tool. The purpose of using the tool was to fix a door on his barn. What the farmer failed to realize is that two legs of this common tool were on solid ground, while two legs were on a pile of manure he had built up over time. When he climbed the ladder, the manure gave way, the ladder pitched forward, and threw the farmer off. The result of his short flight was a broken leg.
The farmer then sues the ladder manufacturer for negligence! It seems there was no warning on the ladder to ensure that all four legs are sitting on a firm surface. Result: $40K settlement in favor of the farmer.
Now do you understand why so many products have so many labels that state the obvious to people with common sense?
Your tax dollars at work.
Re:Encryption? (Score:2)
This disclaimer found at TheRegistor site... (Score:1)
krystal_blade
Re:On the validity of legal agreements in e-mail (Score:2)
Oh wait... I live in New Jersey.
All my first born are not belong to you, sorry.
Re:Rather pointless (Score:2)
I guess the last year they have spent in court and the millions in legal fees they have paid has proven that statement correct, huh?
Kinda makes me wonder where the line is drawn before abuse becomes the companies liability and not the end users responsability.
Re:Two Words (Score:3)
All content, references, and ideas presented in this post are copyright 2001, grammar nazi. All rights reserved. You may reference or quote this comment in your own comment on Slashdot, however your PROHIBITED from quoting, referencing, or using ideas contained herein on other web forumns, both public and private. If you wish to print out the contents of this message and page. Please contact the grammar nazi at nospam@nospam.nospam [mailto].
Re:Encryption? (Score:2)
Funny one... (Score:2)
Don't know why, but I like it
Here it is:
*** Disclaimer: Opinions are my own and in no way reflect those of id Software
This disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado,
tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God,
neglect, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized use, broken antenna
or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, removal of tag,
electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer
adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an
airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motorvehicle crashing,
dropping the item, falling rocks, thieving lawyers, crazy ex-girlfriends,
leaky roof, broken glass, Y2K bug, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile
(which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's,
paintball, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha,
Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.).
WARNING Disclaimer - Please Read (Score:2)
The contents of this message do not reflect the views of Maximegalon University, Sirius Cybernetics, the Vogons or Natalie Portman [natalieportman.com]. Content may be considered factual in all or part within the context of an off camera utterance by George "Wooster" Bush in any or all parallel universes. All or part of this message may not be re-used without persimmon, under penalty of death, dismemberment, renoberation, a good firm spanking, a stern letter to your parents, or a poetry reading by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings. Incidently, the attached virus, which is working its way through your hard-drive, scrambling its brains as only a Zygorthian space raider death-ray can closely simulate. Have a nice day.
-- .sig are belong to us!
All your
Genetic Enginerds... (Score:4)
Jane Doe
Office: 770.555.1212
Mobile: 770.555.1213
DNA Seq :
tcgactgactgactggcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgagaggctacg
gactgactgactggcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgagaggctacgcg
gcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgagaggctacgcgcgatattatcgcg
tatcgcgatcgactgactgactggcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgag
tcgactgactgactggcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgagaggctacg
gactgactgactggcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgagaggctacgcg
gcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgagaggctacgcgcgatattatcgcg
tatcgcgatcgactgactgactggcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgag
tcgactgactgactggcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgagaggctacg
gactgactgactggcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgagaggctacgcg
gcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgagaggctacgcgcgatattatcgcg
tatcgcgatcgactgactgactggcgcgatcgacgagctcgatcgag
...
You get the idea.
---
WWJD! WWJD! WWJD!
Re:Usenet Posting (Score:2)
He's doing as well as can be expected exiled to the wilderness of Toronto.
Law firms could advertise this way (Score:2)
(laugh, it's funny)
--
Does anyones understand UBS Warburg's TV Spots? (Score:2)
Encryption un-PC ?! (Score:2)
--
"I'm not downloaded, I'm just loaded and down"
Re:And the lawyers always get their tithe. (Score:2)
What's your black-and-white take on lawyers working pro bono then? Vested interest, surely?
Re:Yay :) (Score:2)
-----------------
And the lawyers always get their tithe. (Score:3)
-CrackElf
Re:On the validity of legal agreements in e-mail (Score:2)
How bout we just mod it down to -1. That is basically the same thing