Television For an Audience 45 Light Years Away

beebopdebop writes, "The Irish Times notes that Europe goes intergalactic tonight with the broadcast of a program conceived for aliens and broadcast towards a point 45 light years away in the direction of the Big Dipper. The two naked hosts will present their own unclothed bodies as examples of our physical embodiments, and will tell about daily human existence. Music, art, and our own personal messages will be transmitted as well as discussions from sociologists, scientists, and space experts. This project is the brainchild of the French-based Centre National D'etudes Spatiales and is rooted in seriousness as a natural extension of the gold-plated ambassador disks of Pioneer 10. Those of us wishing to be included can still post messages to be sent into space via a CNES antenna. We will have to wait 90 years to learn whether or not some lifeform was listening."

The reply:

[Legion303]

"Put some clothes on, you flabby bastards."

The two naked hosts

[Xemu]

"The two naked hosts will present their own unclothed bodies as examples of our physical embodiments, and will tell about daily human existence."

Let's hope they picked Ingrid Swede and Scarlet Johansson. It would be interesting to hear them speak about their daily life.

hm,

[joe 155]

Don't we already send out enough signals into space, many of which deal with the subject of life on our planet? If anything aliens would be getting pissed off with being inundated with out crap 24/7... and it doesn't help that they'd be getting about 3000 channels all the time so would find it really hard to tell the difference between them.

On a slightly less serious note, is it really a good idea to teach potentially hostile aliens about how we work (and by extension how to kill us)? Not to mention we know that the only people who are really going to watch are 1000 light-years away waiting for single female lawyer

Hope they have Tivo over there

[LiquidCoooled]

It would be a shame to send it once and have them miss it.

This is the problem I have with specific EM signals.
Once they are gone, thats it.

I still think the only real way to communicate with outlying civilisations properly will be with supernovas.
Though, only one message could be send - "Help our sun is blowing u^&"%£%^&!*(())[NO CARRIER]

SFL

[Hogwash McFly]

I'd think they would much prefer the latest episode of Single Female Lawyer.

I'm going to get my Karma wiped out but...

[wisebabo]

I've gotta be the first to say this: So with the two naked presenters (presumably male and female adults, I haven't seen the show), exactly how are they going to show human reproduction?

Your planet has been blacklisted for pr0n-spamming

[D4C5CE]

Sincerely, The alien operators of [e-mail]

This is pointless

[Timesprout]

They will already have seen episodes of Knight Rider and they will know that the Hoff rules the universe. Why would they bother with this crap?

Futurama?

[Rik Sweeney]

Yeah, great idea! Let's beam out the first season of Lost and wait for the aliens to invade us because the finale gave them no answers and they got fed up with waiting for us to beam out the second season...

Re:Great, intergalactic pornography

[ZeroExistenZ]

Great, now we're doing intergalactic pornography. What's next?

Inter-dimensional porn?

As a second thought; how could we ever make pornography that turns aliens on? Just imagine a dog or a lizard trying to get you turned on? (or a fat chick)>
What if the mechanisms of reproduction are very different as ours? Maybe they would think of us as ugly stupid mamals, mainly driven by mating instincts and obsessively seek out into the universe for mating-partners. They OR would avoid earth, or send out more probing UFO's. Eitherway, not the desired result.

Re:90 years is optimistic

[Steve Cox]

Knowing the French, it's likely to be transmitted in SECAM-L rather than PAL/NTSC so no one will be able to decode it :)

Steve.

Re:This is pointless

[LiquidCoooled]

They then saw Baywatch and after analysing the bouncing boobies for a while decided Hoff wasn't the ruler.
It was a silicone intelligence.

Re:The reply:

[Kidbro]

"Put some clothes on, you flabby bastards."

This is a European [istheshit.net] initiative, not an American one ;)

DRM

[arthurpaliden]

Too bad they will not be able to read the message when it gets there since they will not have the correct regional coding on their TV sets.

Re:Great, intergalactic pornography

[Anonymous Coward]

uh, how old is the lizard, and what is it wearing? Do you have some pics?

they would arrive before the signal is sent....

[BrentRJones]

because they would be able to travel faster than light AND back in time

In fact, the reason that so many UFOs were sighted in the early 50s was Earth TV was so interesting that many galaxies sent talent scouts. Of course, the reason we were never invited to the Universal Television Network was we only produced boring programming. (They made one exception and aired the first 5 seasons of Saturday Night Live.)

Re:I'm going to get my Karma wiped out but...

[thc69]

I was watching TV with a friend yesterday as I don't own one

You'd have more friends if you understood that you're not supposed to own them...

Re:The reply:

[ral8158]

Because American people are always obese, and European people are always thin and fit?

Painting with a wide brush only makes you look stupid.

Actual hidden message content for ferrengis

[Anonymous Coward]

We are top officials of the federal goverment contracts review panel who are interested in importation of goods into our country with funds which are presently trapped in nigeria. in order to commence this business we solicit your a assistance to enable us to transfer into your account the said trapped funds.

(...)

And wait for the gold pressed latinum bars.

Re:Couple things

[c_forq]

That's why we have to be careful what we send! We can't let them know we have Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck!

How THAT Will Go Down

[Greyfox]

The aliens will interpret the message as a declaration of war (Why else would those pink monkey things be shaking their genetaila at us?!) and build a vast fleet of planet-buster bombs which they will launch at us at sub-light speeds. In the hundreds of years they take to reach their destination they'll decode more of our signals and realize that we want to be freinds. Unfortunately, no one having thought to build a self-destruct into their armada of doom, their sole transmition to us will be "Freinds... oops, our bad..." which will arrive moments before their fleet destroys everything in our solar system.

Or maybe not...

Re:Absolutely stupid assholes

[An Onerous Coward]

Please, Mr. President. You've done enough already.

Re:The two naked hosts

[MightyYar]

Also why are the people on the Pioneer Plaque white?

Don't worry, to the aliens, we all look the same... :)

Re:The two naked hosts

[Anonymous Coward]

Decorating a space probe with a gold plaque isn't bling-bling???

Re:The reply:

[pedantic bore]

More likely, it will be something to the effect of:

This is an automated message.

The message you sent (attached below) requires confirmation
before it can be delivered. To confirm that you sent the
message below, just hit the "R"eply button and send this
message back (you don't need to edit anything). Once this is
done, no more confirmations will be necessary.

Re:Couple things

[NormalVisual]

Oh, don't be silly - any civilization advanced enough to perfect interstellar travel would obviously have Rosetta on their systems!

Sheesh, some people...