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Toys It's funny.  Laugh.

Finally Geeks Available in Action Figure Form 194

Treebiter1 writes "Happy Worker, a specialty toy developer, has introduced a new action figure the "GeekMan Action Figure." Billed as the "a hunk o' hunk of nerdly love." His "super powers" include ungodly coding abilities; opposite sex repulsion; analytical reasoning; ability to create technical acronyms; less than ideal personal hygiene routine. This is kind of an oddity, perhpas I should say it is an oddity, but it might make a funny gag gift."
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Finally Geeks Available in Action Figure Form

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  • by Jay Tarbox ( 48535 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:37AM (#9229234) Homepage Journal
    Microsoft came out with those action figures a while back... I don't think you can get them anymore though. There were three I think.
  • first post (Score:4, Funny)

    by shird ( 566377 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:38AM (#9229235) Homepage Journal
    Does his super geek powers include the ability to frist post?
  • Great... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:38AM (#9229238)
    But does it fart like RMS?
  • by maeka ( 518272 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:38AM (#9229241) Journal
    Where do I sue for unauthorized use of my likeness?
  • by zakezuke ( 229119 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:38AM (#9229242)
    If they really want to be geeky, he's got to be the size of those retro floppy disks. Or 8 inches tall but then he couldn't live in a drive bay.

  • by ziggamon ( 736328 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:39AM (#9229243)
    It'd be cool to be able to fight Darl McBride being Linus =)
  • Ive seen the Einstein action figure a while ago, including a belly! Wonder what HIS capabilities are?
    • by SoSueMe ( 263478 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:47AM (#9229282)
      The theme song tells you:

      GeekMan Theme Song - Lyrics

      Geek-Man, Geek-Man, Geek-Man,
      Geek-Man, GeekMan!

      He's a brainiac,
      Busting books, coding hack,
      GeekMan!

      With one glance from his eyes,
      logic seems to materialize,
      GeekMan!

      Taped glasses and pocket implants,
      Belt to his elbows, he's one smarty pants...
      Deep underground in his secret computer lair,
      Powered by junk food, caffeine and his monitor glare.
      (he's a key clacking code hacking thinking machine...) He's GeekMan...

      Evil business types, look out!
      If he's on the scene, reason reigns throughout.
      Go go go, gogogo tech gadget belt...
      look out Internet girls, he's looking so 'svelte!
      (What a hunk'o'hunk'o' nerdy love...) He's GeekMan!

      Propeller head, computer freak,
      He's the super-alpha-uber-geek,
      GeekMan!

      Geek-Man, Geek-Man, Geek-Man,
      Geek-Man, GeekMannnnn!
  • This is just ... beyond words. As a geek with a decent sized figure collection (mostly Spawn and Anime figures), I might consider adding this for novelty. Then again, last time I bought a figure I couldn't see in person, I heavily regretted it...
    The ability to code superbly? Hmm...
  • by jbellis ( 142590 ) * <jonathan@car[ ]e ... m ['nag' in gap]> on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:42AM (#9229258) Homepage
    or does GeekMan remind you of Bill Gates?
  • Hm (Score:5, Funny)

    by lvdrproject ( 626577 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:44AM (#9229262) Homepage
    They might consider getting their very own GeekMan to make sure that their site renders properly in Gecko and Opera. :/
    • "They might consider getting their very own GeekMan to make sure that their site renders properly in Gecko and Opera. :/"

      And iCab [www.icab.de], too!
  • Can't buy online? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by blixel ( 158224 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:44AM (#9229268)
    The link to "Buy One Now" just takes you to a list of store locations. That's not very geeky.
    • Re:Can't buy online? (Score:3, Interesting)

      by NineNine ( 235196 )
      Buying online is a good way for a manufacturer to alienate their wholesalers. Selling online is nice and all, but it's not nearly as effective as having an army of real retailers selling your product. As a retailer, I am *much* less likely to carry a product that is also sold online, undercutting my own business.
      • >As a retailer, I am *much* less likely to carry a product that is also sold online, undercutting my own business.

        Err, not usually. Maybe thats your personal opinion but consider the following:

        1. No waiting and no shipping charges.

        2. The overall effect on sales if your store is perceived as not being able to stock popular or novel items, i.e. becoming stale.

        As a consumer, if I want something and I know I can get it online or through retail I will go the proper route depending on my priority. I reall
  • Google Cache (Score:5, Informative)

    by 1nhuman ( 597328 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:45AM (#9229270)
    google cache [66.102.9.104]
  • by ErnstKompressor ( 193799 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:45AM (#9229271) Homepage
    All Phear 'Sedentary Man's' l33t 5ki115...
  • by Seumas ( 6865 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:46AM (#9229276)
    Instead of some generic geek cheaply made action-figure, I'd rather see a high quality series of action figures that depict real geeks that we all respect, admire, like or... at least know of.

    The following, for starters:

    RMS
    ESR
    Alan Cox
    John "Maddog" Hall
    Linus Torvalds
    Capn'Crunch
    Kevin Mitnick

    And of course, more traditional scientific geeks like:

    Linus Paulings
    Albert Einstein
    Charles Babbage

    And famous literary or movie geeks from our favorite 80's and 90's films.

    In fact, I kind of thought that's what the Action Figure in this article was going to be like until I went to the site... :(
    • We could make a whole series, with cartoons and everything! We do off course need some villains. How'bout Darl, Gates, Balmer, (Gore?), anyone else?. They could have a huge villain-castle (with armed guards, shark-pools, doomsdaybuttons and everything!) on a cliff somewhere where they could plan out their world domination schemes, by the means of evil software and huge lawsuits (imagine Darls army of evil lawyers and gates' army of evil coders!)

      Then they could get their ass kicked by FOSS-gang (we need a
      • I hope your "(Gore?)" insertion was a joke, because otherwise, you are a fucking idiot. Al Gore is a serious friend of the internet in that its acceptance and adoption by non-military segments of the government would have been dramatically slower without his influence.

        If you were just getting in a little jab, then I haven't said anything to you. If you were serious, please go jump off something tall without protection.

    • and how about having a mini cd in the box with .. RMS ---debian ESR---- bsd Alan Cox ---fedora John "Maddog" Hall ---Suse Linus Torvalds ---Mandrake Capn'Crunch ----- (some sort of att type nix) Kevin Mitnick ---- a forensic kit And of course, more traditional scientific geeks like: Linus Paulings --- chemistry programs Albert Einstein -- physics programs Charles Babbage -- math programs
  • by pedantic bore ( 740196 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:46AM (#9229277)
    Clearly the person who wrote this is not a genuine nerd -- only a nerd wannabe would make such a mistake, not knowing that to nerds the misuse of jargon is like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

    When they come out with one that has god-like coding skills, that's when I'll get interested. Maybe.

  • by Anonymous Coward
    Action?!?!?

    Pray tell, what action would be accurate? Sitting in a cube staring at a debugger?

    • Since it's GeekMan, I doubt it comes with a patented Kung-Fu Action Grip. (Now that it's old news, I guess I should change my sig.)
    • Remember Sid from Toy Story - I suspect they will see the kind of action!! I can't imagine any non-geeky 10 year old actually even thinking for a second of using such a weak looking figure to beat up action man or even Barbie for that matter! I feel sorry for these figures as I don't think many will meet normal ends either that or they will be purchased & mod'd by bored uni students to look more like their professors!
  • About having good hygiene and sex appeal in 3... 2... 1...
  • It says he's vulnerable to girls of the internet not repelled by them! Do I detect yet another case of one persons misinterpretation in order to justify their own leanings?

    For goodness sake! Some people!

    Theres always somebody who thinks techies getting root means something completely different.

    Sigh! What is the world coming to?

    As for the product in question, it is quite funny.

  • no stereotyping! (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward
    opposite sex repulsion

    That's some savage stereotyping there. They made him as ugly as anything. Not all geeks are ugly. I am a geek, a girl geek and my list of superpowers does NOT include the ability to repel the opposite sex.

    If Barbie was real she would be over 6 feet tall, have feet too tiny to walk and boobs so big she would fall over. Geekman, despite the unfair stereotype, is at least normal looking. In fact, if Geekman were real I would marry him.

    • Hmm... business opportunity for geekman realdolls?
    • by h4rm0ny ( 722443 ) *

      I am a geek, a girl geek and my list of superpowers does NOT include the ability to repel the opposite sex.

      At least as girl you are automatically distanced from all the people here who make jokes about being [male] lonely little weaklings.

      I'm 6'1", weigh over 200lbs (not fat) and I ENJOY running and sports but I still have to put up with comments like the above. Every time I read another post here about "I'm a programmer so what do I know about hygiene/sex/popularity" it makes me want to reach throug
      • You know what? I have mad game. But, I still make jokes about not being able to pick up chicks, because they can be amusing. The fact that comments such as you mention make you want to reach through the mirror says more about your insecurity than the true intent of their statements.

        • says more about your insecurity than the true intent of their statements

          That's rich considering you don't know me. I personally think it says more about my boredom threshold. After wading through the same 'jokes' week after week, I have become very tired of them. In my experience they don't have a basis in reality.

          Oh well, I'm not going to get into an argument about it. Make whatever jokes you like. Currently, I lack the ability to reach through the internet and throttle people. ;)
          • If your boredom threshold is that low, I find it surprising that you can read Slapdash at all.

            Most of the stuff posted on Slashdot is all the same stuff rehashed over and over. Geek stereotype jokes aren't even the worst of it. At least I can get a chuckle out of some of those.

            However, I've never laughed at a "3. profit" joke here, and there's at least 2 of those visible at +3 on every damn story. I don't see nearly as many geek stereotype jokes.

            Even if you browse at +5 and accept only +I comments, you
      • by Otter ( 3800 )
        At least as girl you are automatically distanced from all the people here who make jokes about being [male] lonely little weaklings.

        As one of the people who makes those jokes, I am, in reality, a thin, fit (admittedly scrawny, despite lifting weights), married, hockey-playing, employed adult with passable social skills. I strongly suspect that a lot of others making similar remarks are also speaking with tongue in cheek.


        • I strongly suspect that a lot of others making similar remarks are also speaking with tongue in cheek.

          You're probably right, after all - that was my point. Programmers et al are no different to the rest of the population in my experience as far as social skills, physique etc go. That's why I'm bored of the stereotype.

          Having said all that though, I switched to browsing at -1 and the OP already has three marriage proposals, so maybe we're both wrong. ;)
          • I switched to browsing at -1 and the OP already has three marriage proposals,

            Those bastards! Beating me to it, and such. Well, better make it 4...
    • Re:no stereotyping! (Score:3, Informative)

      by Carewolf ( 581105 )
      Neither the part about barbies feet or boobs are correct. She has very small feet and would likely have problems finding shoes (so much more time spend shoe shopping), but her breast are only slightly over average, you must have very small breast to not see that ;). Even women with breasts 5-10 times larger do not have problems with balance, although they often develop backpains in their 40's.

      And yes the stereotyping is bad. I pretty much live up to every geek stereotype, but even I can find a girls. I use
  • Not really a geek (Score:1, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward
    He's a nerd, not a geek.
  • by 1nhuman ( 597328 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:56AM (#9229310)
    Bleeeeh. Stupid ninties tv show geek.

    What geek nowadays uses pens? A modern geek would have an USB stick and/or other memory thingies sticking out of his breast pocket. And he/she would at least wear one Bluetooth headset and contact lenses instead of these Clark Kent glasses.
    • What geek nowadays uses pens?

      Uh, I do.

      You know. "right tool for the job." This ain't Star Trek, and I ain't leaving my PDA on someone else's desk with a quick-and-dirty diagram on it. I'm not even willing to leave a USB stick or CF card on your desk.

      On the other hand, I don't carry pens in my shirt pocket, either. They go in my belt pouch [niteize.com] with the Leatherman Wave, Mag-Lite, and hands-free unit for my cellphone...
    • Bleeeeh. Stupid ninties tv show geek.

      What geek nowadays uses pens? A modern geek would have an USB stick and/or other memory thingies sticking out of his breast pocket. And he/she would at least wear one Bluetooth headset and contact lenses instead of these Clark Kent glasses.


      Exactly, that geek is completely obselete!
    • contact lenses instead of these Clark Kent glasses

      Hey now, I wear glasses you insensitive clod. I like contact lenses when being physicaly active, but for the most part, it's glasses. I go through alot of bother and effort to get glass glasses, rather then those damn plastic ones that costco will only carry. If I hum just right I can detect frequencies above 60hz. Very handy. I just wish Costco would carry more circular lenses, rather then those damn oval / retangular ones. I can't see my keyboard w
      • ...you can buy *glasses* from what sounds like some sort of discount department store? How does this work? Please elaborate.
        • Just an optometrist has a small shop at Costco, nothing fancy, 4 chair waiting room, small staff of 2-3 people at a time. They also have frames and you can order lenses for frames, the lenses are outsoursed to amother company. Turn around 1 day minium, 3-5 days typical.

          1. Optometrist $50-$75 fee depending on contacts or not.
          2. Frames, $50-$100 typical, some last years models discounted. I'd say $25 minium
          3. Lenses $25-$50 typical. They don't offer tempered glass as i'm sure I said. Photogreys yes
  • by Monkeyman334 ( 205694 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @09:57AM (#9229314)
    now of available on thinkgeek?
  • I'd be offended... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by X-Nc ( 34250 ) <nilrin@ g m ail.com> on Sunday May 23, 2004 @10:00AM (#9229321) Homepage Journal
    but I'm to lazy to do anything about it. The "opposite sex repulsion" I can deal with but the "less than ideal personal hygiene routine" is just insulting. In 22 years I haven't met a techie/geek who's personal hygiene was questionable. Dubious interpersonal communications skills, yes (it can be hard to interface with the humans). An over abundance of pompousness, sure. But we don't stink.
    • by geeber ( 520231 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @10:30AM (#9229467)
      Then you have clearly never been to a university computer center. The funk in some of those can make your eyes water. Most geeks may not stink, but it only takes a few...
      • It's true, I have never been to a university computer center. I didn't really spend much time in university at all, for that matter. Maybe my statement on funkyness should have been limited primarily to commercial sites. Or even more specifically Millitary sites, as that is where I have been since I was 19.
    • We must live in different universes then!

      What was your sample size? One?
    • I vehemently disagree. It's not that the majority of them stink, it's that basically every institution with a significant number of technical people has someone who stinks. A lot. I was the worst stinker once :( I was just departing teenagerhood and my feet decided they just had to generate the foulest stench ever, they still don't exactly smell like roses. Luckily I was working for Cisco in Santa Cruz at the time and they still had a more or less TGV-influenced culture, so I was able to get away with being
      • ...every institution with a significant number of technical people has someone who stinks. A lot.

        And this is why Extreme Programming (XP) doesn't work!
      • (HINT: BO + perfume = stinky perfume)

        That reminds me of the circa-80s Lysol(?) commercial, where the parent uses the competition's spray in the kitchen, and the little girl wails, "Now it smells like fish and lemons!"

    • (it can be hard to interface with the humans)

      Well when you put it that way no one geeks have a hard time socializing.
    • geeks with poor hygiene definitely exist. in several higher cs and math classes i've run across classmates that had a level of stink and hair-mattedness suggesting lengthy (read: much more than a day, perhaps a week!) intervals between bathing...
    • ...But we don't stink.

      Honest to God quote from a classmate of mine:

      "Yeah, it's pretty sad when you have to stay up coding for so long that you don't even have time to shower."

      My friends and I just sort of blinked and walked slowly backwards and away.

      Seriously. If you go to the ECE lab at my Uni, you can tell how close it is to a major deadline when the place begins to get realllllllllllly funky smelling.
  • What a fake (Score:4, Informative)

    by SmallFurryCreature ( 593017 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @10:00AM (#9229322) Journal
    Site doesn't even load properly in opera. Ungodly HTML skills no doubt.

    He seems more the old nerd/geek as shown in jock movies. Not the nerd/geek as they are in real life but rather as tv would like to show them.

  • Sorry (Score:4, Insightful)

    by jb.hl.com ( 782137 ) <joeNO@SPAMjoe-baldwin.net> on Sunday May 23, 2004 @10:02AM (#9229326) Homepage Journal
    Sorry if this sounds a little off, but don't you think it's better to have less negative stereotypes circulating around about geeks?

    I'm sick of technical types being portrayed as losers. It's just not funny any more.
    • I'm sick of technical types being portrayed as losers. It's just not funny any more.

      It's not enough that popular culture bashes geeks, but to have geeks wholeheartedly embrace the stereotype is just plain perverse.

      Shouldn't we embrace the notion that geeks come in both genders, all sizes, and with a wide range of characteristics, hobbies, and non-geek pursuits?

  • WARNING!! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 23, 2004 @10:05AM (#9229333)
    Do not buy a Geekman!!

    Since receiving mine for Xmas, I've had nothing but trouble with him!!!

    In January, I got a subpoena from the RIAA, saying I was sharing music online (bunk,.. it was Geekman!)

    In February, he got sued by SCO for infringing o some kind of pocket pencil holder device!!

    In March, he locked himself in my office for a week and a half,... and took my Xbox in there with him!

    In April, my family woke up to find all our network logon passwords changed, and we couldn't get online for days.

    And, so far, in May, my coffee bill has tripled!!!

    This Geekman is nothing but trouble,.. don't buy one!
  • power quibble (Score:3, Insightful)

    by moviepig.com ( 745183 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @10:06AM (#9229337) Homepage
    I'm not sure anyone (of any disposition whatsoever) considers "opposite sex repulsion" a super-power ...

    ... and "less-than-ideal personal hygiene" is at best a super-convenience.

    (... or so I'm told ...)

  • Now that would be a cool 'Inaction Figure'...

    BTW, I thought nerds/geeks were actually really proficient with the opposite sex, just a little slower to 'interface hardware and software'...
  • by Anonymous Coward
    "Filthy Geeks Available in Action Figure Porn"

    Maybe its my cutting back on caffine but thats what I first read. Oh dear.
  • wtf? (Score:3, Funny)

    by brad3378 ( 155304 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @10:43AM (#9229594)
    I don't know whether to be flattered or offended. This thing looks just like me except for the glasses.

  • I can't be the only one who noticed that the people selling this don't even know what a notebook computer is... they actually have it propped on his lap with the hinge VERTICAL! [happyworker.com] (like a book)

    • Either you posted the wrong link, or don't know what "vertical" means or haven't read a book recently or something. Maybe you just need glasses?

      Your link clearly shows his right hand near the (correctly) upright screen, and his left holding a coffee cup near the keyboard, which is correctly sitting on his lap. The data ports on that laptop are on the hinge, which goes from one knee to another as it would during normal usage.
  • Communication Skills (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward
    The communication skills of engineers never cease to amaze me. They tackle complex issues unambiguously and unhindered by gender, race/culture, and even very strong accents. They evaluate ideas without judging the people behind them and they almost never take anything personally. They tackle complex systems involving many people at all levels. They also have an intuitive understanding of how to communicate what they need to to both techs and managers, understanding the differences in perception and prio
  • by Tablizer ( 95088 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @01:09PM (#9230924) Journal
    ...a Goatse doll is just around the corner.
  • Geek-Mans secret love can be found here [mcphee.com].
  • by bigberk ( 547360 ) <bigberk@users.pc9.org> on Sunday May 23, 2004 @03:51PM (#9232143)
    You might mod me as troll for this, but I swear to god this is true. Sometimes fact is weirder than fiction; and if you can't accept this, then your loss, I guarantee you.

    Back when I was in high school, there was this devilishly attractive girl, real cute, that never seemed to end up dating anyone. I always wondered about that... now she's gone to Hollywood, by the way.

    A few years later, a close mutual friend revealed to me Jessica's big secret: she had an intense nerd fetish. In fact, all those high school years apparently she had been swooning over Tyler, the nerdiest dweeb in school. Tyler once tripped and fell down a freakin' hill while chasing after the school bus. And his voice was really, really funny.

    OK, so here's my point: some (really hot) girls love nerds. Even the seriously nerdiest guys could pick up hot chicks. Weird huh? An action figure like this could actually turn on some ladies.
  • by 6Yankee ( 597075 ) on Sunday May 23, 2004 @04:12PM (#9232253)

    http://www.happyworker.com/geekman/geekdom/ - An error occurred on the server when processing the URL. Please contact the system administrator.

    Stop posing about like a superhero and fix your damn site, Geekman!!!

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