Annual NORAD Santa Tracker Up And Running 176
SumDeusExMachina writes: "NORAD is at it once again folks! You can track Santa as he travels across the globe via a nifty Real Media stream." Apparently, this guy has been making some changes up North, too, including stealth technology, so I hope the radar tracks.
Nice treat for young kids in the new age (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Nice treat for young kids in the new age (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Nice treat for young kids in the new age (Score:4, Funny)
Will some day Big Brother turn to the "NORAD Tracks Chester K" website to find out where I am? I shiver at the thought. We need to write our Senators and Representatives and alert them to this horrible encroachment on our privacy -- this powerful tracking techonology must be shackled to prevent illicit use by the government.
Fnord. Merry Christmas!
Re:Nice treat for young kids in the new age (Score:1)
Re:Nice treat for young kids in the new age (Score:5, Funny)
Dad: "See little Susie, there's Santa and he's heading right for us."
Susie: "Thank you daddy. I love you." (Kisses father on the cheek and goes off to bed followed by her brother)
Older brother: "Susie."
Susie: "What?"
Brother: "NORAD tracks nuclear missles. Something is heading for our house and it's measured by megaton nuclear detonations and our entire town painfully burning to radioactive cinders. Goodnight Susie."
Susie: "?!?" "?!?" "!!!" "DAD!!!"
(And this is supposed to make children comfortable - HOW?!?)
Easy... (Score:2, Funny)
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:1)
Have you had kids??? (Score:1)
Re:Have you had kids??? (Score:1)
To the person who said all they learned was how to cover thier tracks. Well you were just a bad kid, you might have had bad parents, but, i doubt if your mommy had sat on her knee and said "Don't tease Susie she get sad" it would have helped. You would have said
"Yeah i know, its funny"
"But Jimmy Susie is crying, she doesn't like it when you call her a whore"
"Yeah i know, but she is, and its funny when she cries"
Missile Defense? (Score:1)
"Mister President, our latest test during a midnight clear failed to pick up the intended target, again."
"Well, it's important you boys keep trying, we can't have anything sneaking into our borders, it's important I keep this campaign promise."
"Sir, it did strike a target, we confirm that it mistook an incoming large man wearing a red suit in a sleigh pulled by eight tiny reindeer. Apparently he had a large beard and its anti-terrorist homing zeroed in on it."
"Well, we'll just have to cover up this unfortunate incident. Can't be having children think Santa Claus is dead, it wouldn't do the economy any good. See if Ralph Reed is available to fill in, give the tykes some spiritual guidance."
Re:Nice treat for young kids in the new age (Score:2)
Yo Ho Ho ! .... and heeeeere comes ..... (Score:1)
Osama Bin Laden !
Worse.
Norad has completely missed him !
HELP ! SOS ! HELP !
Re:Nice treat for young kids in the new age (Score:1)
There be some warped minds out there...
Bit silly, but... (Score:1, Offtopic)
I would say just a *little* pushback from all of us would help greatly. Does your bank really need that social insurance number? Perhaps asking "am I really legally oliged to give you this" whenever you are asked to produce ID would be a good step?
Peace,
Michael
Re:Bit silly, but... (Score:1)
How can you track santa? (Score:4, Funny)
How would tracking by radar be possible?
Re:How can you track santa? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:How can you track santa? (Score:2)
It was simple, I was explained; Santa travels so damn fast that time and space warp right around him and he just kinda surfs the curvature of spacetime into every chimney in town
Of course it's a pretty silly explaination that really has nothing to do with relativity at all, but for a six year old I believe it worked for me.
Oh dear, it's getting worse (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Oh dear, it's getting worse (Score:1)
I missed it! (Score:1, Offtopic)
I'll never stop refreshing Slashdot again! I can't allow this to happen a second time!
Why RealMedia? (Score:1, Offtopic)
I have a HUGE problem with Real's forced marketing policies when it comes to their software -- changing startup pages, adding links everywhere, changing your program associations.. I know a large number of people who won't touch Reals stuff anymore.
Does anybody know of a WindowsMedia stream of something like this? I want to show my niece.
Re:Why RealMedia? (Score:2)
Re:Why RealMedia? (Score:2, Insightful)
Geez... I was in the military myself and I still think this is very cool for children to witness. It's even cooler how it shows the family values side of our government.
Re:Why RealMedia? (Score:1)
Idiots who can read [noradsanta.org]?
Re:Why RealMedia? (Score:1)
champion gerbileer, sir.
Re:Why RealMedia? (Score:1, Offtopic)
Until they finish Ogg Tarkin, I like my streaming video in MPEG format.
Re:Why RealMedia? (Score:1)
Just because they worked hard to be successful and don't give out their source code for free doesn't make someone bad.
I guess if you're a communist, you might think otherwise.
Re:Why RealMedia? (Score:1)
Re:Why RealMedia? (Score:1)
Anyone have any thoughts (besides "that is a stupid waste of time")?
Re:Why RealMedia? (Score:1)
New NP Technology (Score:3, Redundant)
Naturally, I pretended not to have seen anything...except to say I was looking for a video game to play and it was just sitting there looking like it wanted to be played.
Well, anyway...it seems that the WBO has been dabbling with quantum physics. Supposedly, he's found a way to convert himself into a wave function. This allows him to visit every home in the world simultaneously. But, it seems to work better if he contrained the function to a particular longitude. By adjusting this variable alone, he could make his visit to each child's home at exactly midnight in the child's time zone.
Pretty ingenious if you ask me. He doesn't even need to slip down any more chimmneys and risk getting stuck (or burned). And, because the probabliity of him being where you are looking is so remote, he remains completely stealthy yet accomplishes his yearly mission in exactly one solar day. Whoa.
Happy Holidays to All!
RD
Re:New NP Technology (Score:3, Funny)
Heh, reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes comic where Calvin walks in on a roaring fireplace and douses it with a fire extinguisher screaming "WHAT'S THIS? SANTA FLAMBE?!"
Re:New NP Technology (Score:1)
Uh, oh, he best not get observed and have his wave function collapse...
Re:New NP Technology (Score:2)
However, after breaking this story, Santa's publicist announced that no Reindeer will lose their jobs over this advancement. They will still be used to assist in public appearances and receive the daily allotment of special magic grain.
Hope everyone had a Wonderful Holiday.
thx
RD
Isn't it ironic? Wouldn't you say? (Score:3, Insightful)
Isn't it ironic that this story of Santa being tracked as he goes about his business should appear right next to the "World Sousveillance Day" article....
Email I got. (Score:5, Troll)
I have to ask? How many massive bong hits did you have before comming up with this site? Its great!
and got the following reply.
John,
Santa's sled is powered by reindeer not 'bong hits' (whatever that is). Our technology is supplied by the incredibly complex NORAD tracking system, the website by STK and AOL.
Keep checking out the website throughout the day
Go 'Noles.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Years
Team NORAD
They took the time to figure out I was from FSU area from my ip I guess. Very impresed
Re:Email I got. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Email I got. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Email I got. (Score:2)
Re:Email I got. (Score:1)
They just didn't say that, because it would've freaked you out so much you wouldn't be able to sleep, and then Santa wouldn't have come.
From CNN... (Score:5, Funny)
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- U.S. military officials are tracking Santa's travel path and reporting the latest data on his location on a Web site.
"If he deviates from his filed flight plan or turns off his transponder, we're prepared to scramble F-15s from Langley AFB, Eglin AFB, Mountain Home AFB, Elmendorf AFB, Tyndall AFB, and Nellis AFB, and blow that fat bastard out of the skies," said NORAD spokesman Gen. Buck Turgidson.
In addition, Gen. Turgidson stated that there would be a limited test of National Missile Defense (NMD) tracking assets at various locations around the country. "Santa can deploy all the decoys he wants. We'll find him, we'll track him, we'll get him," Gen. Turgidson added.
Military analysts have mentioned possible countermeasures Santa Claus might take to avoid NORAD radar, including a low-altitude, terrain-masking flight profile, radar-absorbant coating on his sleigh, and multiple layers of metal foil on Rudolph's nose to lessen the infrared signature.
k.
Re:From CNN... (Score:2)
"Bat" Guano, ( if that really is his real name), had no comment, other than to mutter something about Santa answering to the Coca-Cola company for trademark delution.
KFG
Re: Santa got a waiver from the feds (Score:2, Interesting)
The Experimental Aircraft Association filed a flight waiver request [eaa.org] for Santa which was granted [eaa.org]by the Federal Aviation Administration.
Earlier he got permission directly from U.S. Secretary of Transportation Norman Y. Mineta [dot.gov].
In spite of this, Santa flies VFR (Visual Flight Rules) and it it is up to him to "see and avoid" [avweb.com] other traffic in the air.
Re: Making Changes up North (Score:5, Funny)
(Groan: -1 Corny
all your santa (Score:1)
merry christmas slashdot readers - catch the real video stream and see if you can spot that firewire card in his sack that you asked for this year
Damn /. editors! (Score:5, Funny)
Shame on you.
Re:Damn /. editors! (Score:2)
Actually, Santa is Canadian, so he only "doesn't exist" in the good ol' US of A. Shame on you for not believing in the
"If it's in the New York Sun, It's true."
i have scientifical evidence he doesn't exist!! (Score:2, Funny)
This is probably the best way to explain to your kids that he doesn't exist... i guess you could use this for the Easter rabbit as well
Re:i have scientifical evidence he doesn't exist!! (Score:1)
Re:i have scientifical evidence he doesn't exist!! (Score:2)
From the link:
In comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second.
The fastest what on where?
Therefore, the rest of the link is bogus. Everyone knows that Santa can turn himself into a quantum waveform like a previous poster stated.
In conclusion, you are a poopyhead and deserve a stocking full of coal.
Re:i have scientifical evidence he doesn't exist!! (Score:1)
Geez, I'm convinced! The man doesn't even exist on the Web!?
It's a scam! (Score:2, Interesting)
http://santa.stream.aol.com/ramgen/aol/us/speci
Surface-to-air (Score:1)
SAM [dsi.co.il].
Santa -- the Dark Side (Score:1, Troll)
I used to look down on Christmas, until I realized that Santa (the Coca Cola Santa [fortunecity.com], that is) had nothing to do with the traditional Christmas. I've come to appreciate Christmas as an excuse for generosity and fellowship, but I will never be reconciled with the selfishness and wastefulness the fat idiot in the trademark red suit represents.
So I think a couple of quotes are in order. First, some dialog from Buffy:
And we mustn't forget Neil Gaiman's reinterpretation of the basic Santa myth [tripod.com].Re:Santa -- the Dark Side (Score:2)
Cross your fingers (Score:2)
Reminds me of a song... (Score:1)
And up at the north pole, everybody's going crazy, everything's out of control.
The toy shop is on fire, the toys melting on the shelves, and you can Mrs. Clause screaming "I warned you never trust those elves."
Unless something drastic happens fast, say hello to the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Because Rudolph's puking boughs of holly, and Old Saint Nick aint all that jolly, 'cus the sleigh's in the shop cus it's broken down, but Christmas won't stop, 'cus Santa Clause is thumbing to town
Gotta Love Relient K [relientk.com].
Santa has a new ride? (Score:1)
Seems he likes to ride in CF-18's instead.
Some Christmas Fun off Our Friend the Internet (Score:3, Offtopic)
I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.
II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them --- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop 650 m.p.s. in
V. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
Re:Some Christmas Fun off Our Friend the Internet (Score:1)
Re:Some Christmas Fun off Our Friend the Internet (Score:1)
+1, Hysterical
Thanks for the laugh!
Re:Some Christmas Fun off Our Friend the Internet (Score:1)
Re:Why is my tax $$$ being wasted? (Score:1)
Geez... Pathetic....
With us or against us Santa... (Score:1)
"..And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;"
That I think could be very useful in those caves of Tora Bora.
He's been our ally so far... (Score:1)
Santa must be out on Bail (Score:2)
I understand he was held under lock and key, but he must of had a good lawyer and made bail. Although He'll now be in trouble for fleeing the jurisdiction.
Santa? Or SATAN? (Score:2, Funny)
So when you're opening your shiny gifts from Santa tomorrow morning, think of Jesus. He's probably going to get frostbite for your sins, and then have to have his feet amputated for your sins, and go on prescription painkillers while receiving federal welfare for your sins. You fuckers!
-- The_Messenger [geocities.com]
Still Cam Shots from the Future! (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Still Cam Shots from the Future! (Score:2)
25. is Chicago
26. is Colorado
I'm not really authorized to tell you how I know. Let's just say I'm Santa's travel agent..
DOH!
Re:Still Cam Shots from the Future! (Score:1)
20 is most definitely not over the USA. In fact, neither is 21 which claims to be.
19 is over Labrador, not Newfoundland.
Defense (Score:2)
Merry Christmas everyone!
for the children! (Score:1)
Pity the Dyslexic Child (Score:2)
Nothing original here (Score:1)
Christmas Eve (Score:1)
208.38.138.12:8000
:-)
Santa is running late... (Score:1)
Stealth... (Score:1)
I hope he has that shiny new hard drive for me.
Merry Christmas! (Score:1)
The Dude
Santa Claus... (Score:1)
Just kidding, all. I'm from a Chanukah house. No offense intended...
(...I'm watching you, Santa. I'm watching you.)
Flight simulator sleigh (Score:1, Redundant)
You might have to set the date to late December to get it to take off, though.
Yay! It's almost over! Got myself some toys! (Score:1)
A Slinky Jr.
A spinning top which plays a tune and has little weapon stickers on it.
A Boba Fett Pez dispenser
Works for me. I feel great!
Anyone else buy themselves presents?
Futurama XMAS Episode (Score:1)
Childhood memories....... (Score:1)
I hadn't thought about it in a long time until I heard this story, and I'm glad I did. It warms my heart to think that a new generation of children is enjoying this, and in new ways thanks to the digital age.
Anyone else have childhood memories of NORAD tracking santa?
As noded into E2... (Score:4, Interesting)
Nebraska. In the mid-Fifties, a local department store had an actor impersonating Santa Claus,
that kids could call on Christmas Eve. (Presumably, the guy told the kids that "he'd be right over" and tell them to get to bed early.)
Unfortunately, the number had one digit wrong, which yuppers, patched the rugrats into NORAD.
The somewhat amused personnel, married and with kids themselves (as per regulation,
according to then-current psychological theory) took to saying "Well, we're an Air Force base, not
Santa Claus, but yes, we're tracking Santa right now."
A few winters of this were enough to get everyone's story straight, and to retire the number (except for Santa reports). In 1958, they began releasing live reports to TV and radio stations, casting high-ranking (and often retired) officers asuld get a "full NORAD welcome" (of escorting state-of-the-art fighter jets) if seen over US airspace. Creepy, when you think of it...
Re:As noded into E2... (Score:1)
Deliberately lying to our children? (Score:1, Flamebait)
Re:Deliberately lying to our children? (Score:2)
OT: Osama Got Run Over by a Reindeer (Score:1)
Right outside his cave on Christmas eve
Some folks says there's no such thing as Santa,
But now even the Taliban believes
Osama thought we'd never find him,
But even little children know
Santa knows who's been real naughty,
In those hard Afghani mountains capped with snow
Al-Quieda found him Christmas morning
Face down on that mountain pass.
There were hoof marks on his turban,
And a broken reindeer antler up his HO HO HO HO
Osama got run over by a reindeer
Peein' near his cave door Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as karma
But if you saw those hoof marks you'd believe.
Osama got run over by a reindeer
Now he's not around on Christmas day.
He was hoping he's be meetin' Allah
But the only thing he met was Santa's sleigh.
Potential Uses? (Score:1)
Tracking Santa?!? (Score:1)
Christmas Eve in NORAD (Score:1)
Many flights can be tracked (Score:1)
These [flightexplorer.com] sites [flytecomm.com] . [216.33.28.152] will show you the current location of any commercial flight. There are others that will track and locate corporate jets. [fboweb.com].
http://www.google.com/search?q=flight+tracking&bt
broken link (Score:1)
Re:NORAD has better things to do (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:NORAD has better things to do (Score:2)
Re: (Score:1)
Re:NORAD has better things to do (Score:3, Interesting)
Although the trappings associated with the modern Santa Claus legend date to the late 1800's and the American poem "Twas The Night Before Christmas" (flying reindeer, sleigh, chimney sliding and the red coat were all original creations of that poem), the concept is completely Christian in origin and far older, dating back almost to the time of Christ.
Now, one could argue that Christmas *itself* isn't a Christian tradition, per se, since the early Christians simply co-opted the Roman holiday Saturnalia, a holiday far more like our modern Christmas than Christmas itself was up until about a hundred years ago, and one which involved festivals, a state holiday, a feast, lights and the exchange of gifts. Everything old . . .
Re:NORAD has better things to do (Score:3, Insightful)