Opening Zune Sales Flaccid 451
An anonymous reader writes "As 'Black Friday' approaches and consumers line up for the Playstation 3 it looks like Zune has become an afterthought. Despite months of hype, opening Zune sales are only so-so. While Zune did reach the top 10 on Amazon's Top 25 list for electronic product sales on its first day, it quickly fell below the top 15 and continues to drop. Six separate iPod models now outsell it as well as SanDisk's e250 player. In-store sales are not much better."
Welcome to the social? (Score:5, Funny)
First pun! (Score:5, Funny)
Soooo.... (Score:4, Funny)
Flaccid? (Score:5, Funny)
Battle Hymn of the Republic, re-updated (Score:2, Funny)
It is trampling out the storage where the Costless Tunes are store'd,
It hath loosed the flaccid lighting of its terrible short release;
Its songs are marching out.
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Its songs are marching out!
I have seen it in the watch-fires of a hundred wary bands!
They have builded it an altar in the circling doom and damp;
I can read its righteous screen by the dim and flaring lamps;
Its songs are marching out.
(chorus)
I have read a fiery gospel written in burnished rows of plastic;
"As you deal with my develop'rs, so with you my grace will deal,"
Let the Ballmer, born of spittle, kill the serpent with a chair;
The Zune is marching out.
(chorus)
In the beauty of the birch, Linus was born across the sea;
With a glory in his boxen that transfigures you and me;
As he hacked to make boxes holy, let us code to make Windows free;
While the Zune is marching out.
(chorus)
It is coming like the glory of the storm upon the farm-er,
It is Horror to the drummer, it is Destruc'shn to the bass,
So the world shall be its crypt, and the soul of Jobs its David;
The Zune is marching on.
(chorus)
(if you're wondering why it's re-updated, go look at this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Battle_Hymn_of_t
MS Marketing "pulled a brown Zune" (Score:4, Funny)
I heard a guy at work yesterday mentioning Sony's battery recall and commenting they "pulled a brown Zune" in terms of their marketing failure to deal with the problem correctly. (Brown being the least popular color for the Zune).
Think of the uses... "The Republicans got handed a Zune in the last election".
Re:Palm, anyone? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:First pun! (Score:5, Funny)
Hurrah! Apple's near-monopoly is secure! (Score:1, Funny)
The Zune is flaccid? (Score:5, Funny)
Between the title and company name (Score:2, Funny)
Just needs to be marketed better (Score:4, Funny)
Who would buy a Rock for a Pet? yet....it happened.
There is a whole untapped market of gifts that are "not nice". I mean, what do you get someone in the family when you HAVE to get them a present, but you don't like them?
Perhaps they could do a tie-in with those new "LearnAboutCoal.org" commercials and throw Santa in there too.
SANTA: "Well, lets see little Johnny has been very Naughty this year, so he gets a lump of coal!"
Johnny: "Well at least I can burn this and keep warm for a few minutes"
SANTA: "And little Bobby has been especially naughty so he gets a Zune!"
Bobby: "Whaaaa!!!......."
[end tag]: UPS voiceover: "What can Brown do for YOU?"
Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)
Two things... (Score:4, Funny)
Maybe it's because I own a Tivo, but... what hype? I haven't seen anything on TV, in magazines, on buses, etc.
And regarding the title of this thread, "Opening Zune Sales Flaccid" - do the editors' entire existences revolve around thoughts of sexual inadequacy? That's one of the silliest sentences I've seen put together anywhere. It's pathetic even by Slashdot's juvenile standards.
Re:this product... not so much (Score:1, Funny)
It must really eat Gates up, no matter how much $$$ he has he is still a loser.
Well, at least... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:First pun! (Score:5, Funny)
there goes their chance to penetrate the market.
Re:this product... not so much (Score:3, Funny)
Like Phil Collins, for example?
Re:Did you miss the title? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:here's the thing... (Score:3, Funny)
Dude, it's fucking brown.
Re:Welcome to the social? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Did you miss the title? (Score:3, Funny)
Redomond's flaccid sales have thus far failed to prick a hole in the stiff market-share erected by those Cupertino pricks.
Re:Origami? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:this product... not so much (Score:2, Funny)