John Dvorak's Eight Signs MS is Dead in the Water

j79 writes "John Dvorak has written an opinion piece on why he believes Microsoft is dead in the water. He discusses Vista, Office 2007, MSN and MSN search, the Xbox 360, Pad-based computing, .Net, and Microsoft's obsession with Google. "

The future is now!

[LiquidCoooled]

My god, the marketwatch site is well ahead of the game.

They have incorporated Web 2.1 Server side blink [blartwendo.com]!

If you think I'm joking, just look at the stock quotes on the page.

As for MS being dead in the water, I think they certainly have the sharks swimming around them, but I wouldn't call them dead just yet.
Remember, its not over until the fat penguin sings.

Eight!

[tehshen]

I guess if he makes more than one prediction at once, there's more of a chance that he'll be right with at least one of them!

Well, if Dvorak says it...

[Anonymous Coward]

...it MUST be true.

How About...

[Anonymous Coward]

Eight signs Dvorak is dead in the water

Oh No! Apple is DOOMED!

[X43B]

"John Dvorak has written an opinion piece on why he believes Microsoft is dead in the water."

If Microsoft is dead in the water, what OS will Apple put on its next gen computers?

Dvorak's eight reasons to view my ads

[maynard]

1) my points are baseless

2) flamebait!

3) hey, I might not be right but at least I'm fun to read...

4) M$ $uck3rz!!1!!

5) Hey, I own a Mac too!

6) Did I mention my employers advertisements? Could you buy something please?

7) I'm too old to find a real tech job. Thanks for the "work"!

8) Hey, Slashdot linked to me! Again and again and again! I must be doing something right!!!

1 sign why I will not read this article

[Aqua OS X]

... it was written by John Dvorak, and that guy has as much insight as a rock.

Why do people listen to this clown?

[RingDev]

My dog's ass sees the sun more often than Dvorak actually calls one correctly.

-Rick

Re:Making sense for once

[kiveol]

When was the last time M$ actually innovated something?

MS-DOS? Oh wait...

It's not MS, it's Dvorak

[MonkeyCookie]

I think Slashdot has given about 8000 reasons why Dvorak is dead in the water.

Re:Oh No! Apple is DOOMED!

[mahdi13]

If Microsoft is dead in the water, what OS will Apple put on its next gen computers?

BSD!
oh, wait...

Re:I love this

[Foobar of Borg]

Some more of John Dvorak's keyboard drooling... Why did anyone give this guy a job writing?

No kidding! He is the Ann Coulter of the tech world, and just as manly.

Re:Dear God...

[The Snowman]

PLEASE make my dreams come true!!!

Okay, but where will we find a dead hooker, a llama, and 12 gallons of motor oil at this time of night?

Re:If Dvorak is right

[The Snowman]

[If Dvorak is right] ...and he almost never is.

"almost?" Did that slip in there on accident?

Re:How About... nine signs.

[fahrbot-bot]

Eight signs Dvorak is dead in the water

Nine signs - Netcraft confirmed it.

Re:I love this

[antifoidulus]

But Ann Coulter is hot....are you insinuating that Dvorak would look good in a bathing su....OH GOD IMAGES IN MY HEAD! PLEASE GET THEM OUT!!!

I think the phrase is "going nowhere fast."

[alcmaeon]

"MS is going nowhere anytime soon"

But this is a good approximation. :-)

Re:Doesn't matter.

[migwa]

Has anyone seen a modem recently?

IAD Says:

[slashbob22]

The Inauthentic Paper Detector [indiana.edu] Says:

This text had been classified as
INAUTHENTIC
with a 29.1% chance of being authentic text

Nice Try Dvorak!

Re:The future is now!

[Babbster]

...Microsoft can stay right where they are and continue milking their cash cows for a long, long time.

I would just like to point out that, cash or not, maintaining a cow at sea has got to be pretty difficult...

Re:Doesn't matter.

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey, I re[pre]sent that!

Re:ENOUGH OF THIS TROLL!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Posting this story IS part of a moratorium on not posting Dvorak trolls.

God, even one negative is too much for some people.

Re:I love this

[dhakbar]

Ann Coulter hot?

What?

Re:Oh No! Apple is DOOMED!

[Rialtus]

BSOD </corrected>

Re:I love this

[Gattman01]

Ann Coulter hot?

Some people's standards are just too low. Why else would they be busy posting on here anyway...

What a coincidence!

[MoxFulder]

I was just about to publish my article, "Eight Signs That John Dvorak is Dead in the Water".

Dvorak doesn't get it. . .

[kimvette]

8. Preoccupation with Google. Microsoft is too easily distracted by successful companies who are not competitors. There is a deep-rooted belief that if a company like Google is successful, then they are an enemy per se. So the company obsesses on what Google is doing rather than concentrating on important Microsoft projects. Now Microsoft is about to do a deal with Yahoo to flank Google. This old-lady-like skittishness is unbecoming for a company this size.

He just doesn't get it. He really doesn't. Google hired an engineer Microsoft did not want Google to hire. *throws chair* Steve Ballmer is going to fscking kill Google!!!111!!!

Re:The future is now!

[Ohreally_factor]

Not if you have your Manatee Network Certification.

Re:Dvorak is a Goofball Gasbag

[MrAnnoyanceToYou]

You must be an atypical Office user - capable of both learning new skills and adapting to changing situations. I've known many with opposable thumbs you have a HUGE jump on. I wish you the greatest of success and many offspring interested in removing some of the idiots I've worked with from the evolutionary ladder.

Re:I love this

[utexaspunk]

exhibit a [rawilson.com]

Re:The future is now!

[jellomizer]

c--------1---------2--------3--------4---------5-- -----6---------7-------8
              PROGRAM
                          PRINT 100, 'Just as long as you stay in 80 columns per line '
              1 //'of code you should be OK'
                          PRINT 100, 'DIGITAL VAX FOREVER!'
100 FORMAT(A)
              END

Re:What a coincidence!

[Lord_Dweomer]

" was just about to publish my article, "Eight Signs That John Dvorak is Dead in the Water"."

Sign #1 - The Slashdot tags for his stories read: "dvorak, moron, troll, microsoft, idiot".

Honestly...why do the editors keep posting his garbage? Humor value?

Re:I think the phrase is "going nowhere fast."

[sgt_doom]

I predict M$ will be purchasing Halliburton after the Iran attack.

They need their subsidiary, Kellogg-Brown-Root, to attack Dvorak!

[No child left a dime....no billionaire left behind.]

Re:Dvorak is a Goofball Gasbag

[H0p313ss]

are you using something that's "10 years behind" like OpenOffice

Certainly not 10 years behind... My kids have been using OpenOffice for all their schoolwork for the past two school years and I'm yet to see a BSOD.

There's a lot to be said for being cheap, reliable, portable and standards based.

Re:Dvorak is a Goofball Gasbag

[IntlHarvester]

I'm yet to see a BSOD.

People who talk about BSODs are not welcome at Slashdot anymore. Because, you know, it shows that you pretty much suck at being a computer nerd.

Re:The future is now - and have they evolved?

[aanzelm]

"Microsoft advertising ironically highlights dinosaurs"

Every time I see their dinosaur commercials telling
me how Microsoft Office has evolved, I can hear
a voice saying:

"This just means it was not Intelligently Designed"...

Re:What a coincidence!

[Mistshadow2k4]

"Honestly...why do the editors keep posting his garbage? Humor value?"

Isn't it obvious? So that we can argue about it and they can be amused by all of us arguing about it.