LinuX-Mas Caroling We Shall Go 179
smudge writes "Don't let the economy get you down
this holiday season. Bring up a screen saver of a fireplace, grab a hot mulled Mountain Dew and check out
these holiday classics, rewritten with a tech spin, from LinuxWorld.com."
aafire = one cool fire (Score:2, Funny)
Re:aafire = one cool fire (Score:2, Funny)
My nuts roasting, on an open fire
Just smile and laugh
Re:aafire = one cool fire (Score:1)
lpt on fire, might as well grab some chestnuts
Re:aafire = one cool fire (Score:3, Funny)
Caroling isn't legal... (Score:1, Interesting)
Where I live, it's not legal to make a public performance of a work under copyright. There are exemption for charitable purposes, or religious worship.
"Traditional" christian carols are legal (religious), but secular songs such as "Frosty the Snowman" or "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" aren't. Go freedom of expression.
--
AC
God those were bad (Score:2)
Re:God those were bad (Score:2)
It's beginning to look a lot like.... (Score:4, Insightful)
Bad attempt (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Bad attempt (Score:1)
Caroling our Representative (Score:1)
Does anyone know where Rep. Kirk (R-IL)
lives? Care to join me?
Augh! (Score:1)
Usually I detest this sort of thing... (Score:1)
Re:Usually I detest this sort of thing... (Score:1)
http://www.onion.com/onion3847/bill_of_righ
Re:Usually I detest this sort of thing... (Score:1)
/. Killjoy (Score:1)
hot mulled Mountain Dew (Score:2)
Actually ... (Score:2)
I haven't had the opportunity to heat up some Dr. P. in the microwave yet, but I'm certainly curious.
Anyone else tried this?
Re:Actually ... (Score:1, Interesting)
I tried heating Dr. Pepper, but it just wasn't the same somehow.
Now... (Score:1)
Re:Now... (Score:1)
Re:Now... (Score:1)
Re:Now... (Score:1)
Re:Now... (Score:3, Informative)
Mr. PiBB and Pibb Xtra are not available in cans and bottles everywhere. There are many areas in the US where PiBB is not bottled by Coca-Cola bottling plants. Due to lack of capable facilities, the Dr Pepper Company leases the right to bottle Dr Pepper in a particular market to the highest bidder--either Coke, Pepsi or 7up. In some markets, Coke bids highest for the chance to bottle Dr Pepper (a very lucrative business) and in others, Pepsi or 7up gets the contract. In these areas where Dr Pepper is found in Pepsi or 7up vending machines, Coke will offer its own creation -- PiBB -- in response. In regions where Coke bottles Dr Pepper, PiBB is not produced. The bottling agreement with Dr Pepper comes with a "no competition" clause which states that Coke cannot produce their spicy cherry soda.
Re:Now... (Score:2)
So, it certainly isn't a Coke product, but probably not a Pepsi product either. Hrmm, I'll have to ask him about it. Perhaps it was just being bottled at the same place as Pepsi products.
Oh, and speaking of hot soda beverages
Re:Actually ... (Score:1)
Re:Actually ... (Score:2, Informative)
Re: hot mulled Mountain Dew (Score:1)
Mulled Wine [about.com] - absolutely, made with Mead [bevmo.com] - even better
You forgot the night before implementation (Score:5, Informative)
We three Pings (Score:1)
dodging trolls and slashdot flame,
servers seeking, responses testing,
Proving the servers down!
Oh, oh, oh!
Poor 'lil server,
Melted server,
Slashdoted now you burn bright!
Re:You forgot the night before implementation (Score:3, Informative)
And all through the lab
Not a keyboard was clicking
--No Pr0n being grabbed
I was browsing the web
With MS's IE,
When X10 ad popups
I began to see.
I went to uninstall
But nowhere was IE
It Seems Mr. Gates
Had made that choice for me.
I went to mozilla.org
And found the builds new
And what did I see?
Mozilla 1.2!
I downloaded the file
Just as fast as could be
Thank you Mozilla,
No more popups for me!
This would have been much funnier... (Score:1)
Bring On The Egg Nog!
Not that great (Score:1)
That's my opinion.
Speechless. (Score:4, Funny)
But it's no match for these [bsdforums.org]
Re:It sounds ridiculous... (Score:1)
now that's the kind of quality posting we've come to love around here. add a little about how in SOVIET RUSSIA natalie portman carrols you. a dash of dying BSD and you should be all set.
Microsoft is Coming To Town ???? (Score:2)
Run!
and find all of your license files!!
It's bad, this is how bad - (Score:2, Funny)
You better watch out
You better not cry,
"I don't know where all my licenses lie!"
Microsoft is coming to town
You paid for it list,
You paid for it twice;
You paid even more for legal advice.
Microsoft is coming to town
They know when you run Windows
They know when you use Word
They treat a loyal customer
Like a lying, thieving turd.
With auditing threats
In letters that come
Their lawyers will have you reaching for Tums
Microsoft is coming to town
Bill's desperate now
There's no time to play
He's casting dot-Net to drag in your pay
Microsoft is coming to town
They offer a solution
When you are left in tears
Just sign here on the bottom line
And subscribe for fifty years!
Oh, you should have watched out
Gave Linux a try
Now licensing six is bleeding you dry
Microsoft is coming to town
Microsoft is coming to town!
REAL bad.
Slow News day (Score:1)
And suffice it to say, these were not even mildly amusing.
you know its a bad day... (Score:1)
santa's coming to town (Score:2)
UserFriendly.org (Score:4, Funny)
They did a hilarious version of "Oh Holy Nights" that went something like "Oh Modem Lights"
Here's the link... I kept this as my desktop wallpaper long after christmas was past.
Oh Modem Lights [userfriendly.org]
Please spare us... (Score:1)
And for the Jews? (Score:1)
Re:And for the Jews? (Score:5, Funny)
I configured it today
Kernel Kernel Kernel
Please boot up I pray
OK, that's all I've got...
About as funny as... (Score:1)
RMS wouldn't approve (Score:2)
Re:RMS wouldn't approve (Score:2)
I see they never tried singing them aloud (Score:2, Insightful)
People, is it really that hard to count syllables?
Re:I see they never tried singing them aloud (Score:1)
One... Two... Five! No, Three! Ack, now it's five! Aaarrrgggh!
Yes, yes it is.
Jingle Bells ... with a tech spin .. (Score:2)
Bill Gates smells
AOL laid an egg
The Tux mobile,
lost its wheel
and WorldCom got away!!
Santa Claus: The Shell Script (Score:5, Funny)
better !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus <north pole > town
cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
santa claus <north pole > town
who |grep sleeping
who |grep awake
who |egrep "bad|good"
for (goodness sake) { be good }
Santa Claus: THE VMS EDITION (Score:3, Funny)
$ better
$ print why
$ santa_claus
$ mcr authorize
list
exit
$ analyze/rms_file/check sysuaf.lis
$ analyze/rms_file/check sysuaf.lis
$ search sysuaf.lis naughty
$ search sysuaf.lis nice
$ santa_claus
$ show user
$ search users.lis sleeping
$ search users.lis awake
$ search users.lis bad
$ search users.lis good
$ loop:
$ be good
$ if goodness_sake then $ goto loop
(DCL port courtesy of James Dishaw.)
"Turds"? He got that right... (Score:3, Interesting)
Like a lying, thieving turd.
After listening to my wife (who's a senior buyer for a large-ish defense contractor) relate the woe that was having to sit through *an entire day* with Microsoft reps so they could explain to her what MS's new licensing schemes were going to do to her company, I'd say that line above just about sums it up. They were pretty nasty, it seems, and had a "we don't care how much you've bought in the past" attitude.
I showed her Open Office even, and she liked it. But using it wasn't an option, since the head of their IT department acts like he wants to climb in bed with Bill Gates and try to have his children. I guess they decided to lay off more people and pay up, the poor dumb bastards.
I'm going to forward her the link so she'll have something to make her day go by faster...
-B
heres mine...Let it snow (Score:5, Funny)
and I got a "+1 Insightful",
So if you've no place to go,
log on and troll, log on and troll, log on and trooooll!
Thank you very much.
Re:heres mine...Let it snow (Score:1)
He's a mean one...
Mr. Gates.
You really are a heel,
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
you're as charming as an eel,
Mr. Gates,
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!
You're a monster, Mr. Gates,
Your heart's an empty hole,
Your brain is full of spiders,
you have garlic in your soul,
Mr. Gates,
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
You're a foul one, Mr. Gates,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Gates,
Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile!
You're a rotter, Mr. Gates,
You're the king of sinful sots,
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Gates,
You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!
You nauseate me, Mr. Gates,
With a nauseous super "naus"!,
You're a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Gates,
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!
You're a foul one, Mr. Gates,
You're a nasty wasty skunk,
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Gates,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk"!
-- Are we sure Dr. Seuss was not thinking of Mr. Gates when he wrote this?
hot mulled Mountain Dew (Score:1)
Homer: Ewwww! Eeeesh! Yuck! I'll take a crab juice!
I've been nipping at the egg-nog! (Score:2)
Thanks and Merry Christmas.
Airrage.
We Three Pings (Score:2)
Re:We Three Pings (Score:3, Funny)
Seek out hosts by IP address,
By hub, by switch,
Without a glitch,
Sixty-five K or less.
How theist-centric (Score:2)
Re:How theist-centric (Score:2)
I've taken to calling it the close-to-the-end-of-the-year-blow-all-your-money-o n-the-ones-you-love-partytime-holiday-where-I-get- a-week-off
Re:What's theistic about Christmas? (Score:1)
Re:What's theistic about Christmas? (Score:2)
Re:What's theistic about Christmas? (Score:2)
I see celebrating Christmas as an atheist kind of like celebrating Hitler's birthday as a Jew.
Well, you're certainly not a pragmatist, otherwise you'd hedge your bet by not making such comparisons because you might be wrong.
And I've found that self-proclaimed atheists don't really have much conviction. The old saw about atheists and foxholes is generally true. When you go speeding around that curve to find ice on the road and a sheer drop on the side, just as your asshole clamps and tears a chunk out of the upholstery, your second-to-last sentence will be, "God, help me!" We all know what the last sentence is. :)
OT - if you want some funny poetry (Score:1)
LOL, too good! (Score:2)
Right-o (Score:1)
British Director Guy: "Well we wanted to capture all of our smoldering hate for Microsoft and our total disgust for the erosion of our freedoms in a Jolly Jingle!"
In Soviet Russia, (Score:2)
This is why I hate the linux community (Score:2, Funny)
Thing is, people like my boss see this, and I can't even mention that I use linux in my home network router because they'll just assume that I'm using it for anti-corporate hippie reasons.
Meh.
They aren't even clever. I'll write one on the fly:
Jiggle Bells!
Linux smells!
GNU is teh cheese!
Gnome and gimp's
Users are limp!
A Beowulf cluster of these!
Guess RMS was right (Score:2)
Guess that Free Software is inherently political. If you don't like it, tell your boss that Slashdot != Linux... It's not even "respectable"... whatever the fuck you think that means.
Perhaps you should find a "respectable" Linux site, and stick with it.
Re:This is why I hate the linux community (Score:2)
Wow, that really sucked. (Score:1)
Oh no! (Score:2, Funny)
aim! (Score:1)
Great! (Score:3, Funny)
Hmm... never thought about that before... (Score:2)
Follow me on this for a second, the X in "Xmas" stands for christ and the X is also the part that relates to Unix so Unix must have a very close corolation with the son of God. Just as I suspected. Unix is a religion.
Re:Hmm... never thought about that before... (Score:2)
The Slashdot Christmas Song! (Score:5, Funny)
Not a controller was stirring, not even a mouse;
The CAT5 was hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that broadband soon would be there;
The friendly geeks were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of CowboyNeal danced in their heads;
And Taco in his 'kerchief, and Cliff in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When from my PC there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to Mozilla I flew like a flash,
Tore open my browser, and surfed to the Slash.
The news on the main page was new, I could boast..
I could post within 20 seconds 'FIRST POST!!'
The headline was 'Programmer caught in infinite loop.'
Doh! Just another of Taco's damn dupes.
'First Post!!' typed, I was beaming with pride,
I hit Submit, and then nearly cried
Someone had beat me, and what did they say?
"Stephen King dead at 53" today!
We may complain and bitch at each other
But every
Than if you read CNN or Fark or The Knot
And it's exactly what all other communities are not.
comment. (Score:1)
Is it just me? (Score:2)
Linux uber-geeks gone wild (Score:1)
What a downer (Score:3, Insightful)
Seriously, anyone singing these christmas parodies near my door gets an iced snowball to the grill.
Re:Great! (Score:2)
Beware this holiday thing, folks... (Score:2)
This is what I get for being such a cheapskate...
-JDF
Hot mulled soda (Score:2)
No seriously, back when I was much younger I decided to see what would happen if you had hot Coca Cola. I mean you have hot tea, hot apple cider, etc, and so why not? It tasted bad on the first sip, the second almost made me have to run to the toilet. Just say no
(Yes, I _really did_ try it in one of my moments of bad judgement...
Internet Songbook (Score:2, Informative)
Many more nerdly songs, including festive holiday-related ones, are collected in The Internet Songbook [netspace.org].
Deck Slashdot (Score:1)
fa la la la la la la la la
They should fire the uber monkeys
Fa la la la la la la la la
CowboyNeal is going senile
Fa la la, La la la, La la la
goatse.cx [goatse.cx] is quite vile
Fa la la la la la laaa laaaaaa laaaaaaaaaa!
Mulled Dew (Score:2)
I am told that they really pushed hot Dr Pepper as a replacement for coffee back in the 50's 60's or 70's(Can't Remember). You could also add a little lemon to it. I tried it once unique taste. Maybe some of you old timers remember this.
Re:Mulled Dew (Score:2)
Re:Mulled Dew (Score:2)
No, it isn't. [yahoo.com] That's just an urband legend [snopes.com].
Beowulf! (to the tune of Jungle Bells) (Score:2)
Oh what fun it is to cluster twenty PDA!
(OK, I got nothing)
sed s/holidays/Christmas/g (Score:2)
Re:sed s/holidays/Christmas/g (Score:2)
IE's PNG Deflate Heap Corruption Vulnerability (Score:2)
Internet Explorer's Recently Discovered PNG Deflate Heap Corruption Vulnerability
Twas the night before Christmas, and deep in IE
A creature was stirring, a vulnerability
MS02-066 [microsoft.com] was posted on the website with care
In hopes that Team eEye [eeye.com] would not see it there
But the engineers weren't nestled all snug in their beds,
No, PNG images danced in their heads
And Riley at his computer, with Drew's and my backing
Had just settled down for a little PNG cracking
When rendering an image, we saw IE shatter
And with just a glance we knew what was the matter
Away into SoftICE [compuware.com] we flew in a flash
Tore open the core dumps, and threw RFC 1951 [ohio-state.edu] in the trash
The bug in the thick of the poorly-written code
Caused an AV exception when the image tried to load
Then what in our wondering eyes should we see
But our data overwriting all of heap memory
With heap management structures all hijacked so quick
We knew in a moment we could exploit this $#!%
More rapid than eagles our malicious pic came --
The hardest part of this exploit was choosing its name
Derek Soeder
Software Engineer
eEye Digital Security
Link to source [eeye.com]
Microsoft Poem XP (Score:2)
This poem may not be copied.
This poem may not be sold.
This poem may not be loaned.
This poem may not be rented.
This poem may not be excerpted.
This poem may not be read aloud.
This poem may not be summarized.
This poem may not be reviewed.
This poem may not be linked to.
This poem may not be described.
This poem may not be mentioned.
This poem may not be remembered.
This poem may not be any good.
Fireplace screen saver? (Score:2)
Chest^H^H^Hipmunks roasting... (Score:2)
Actually when on a google search for the song, I found the following site Google'c cachse of Fractured Christmas Carols. [216.239.37.100]
Oh, and by the way, the version of "chipmunks on the fire" (on the site mentioned above) was most definatly not the one I heard on SNL.
Re:And then kill -9 yourself (Score:2)
kill -hup 1
Re:And then kill -9 yourself (Score:2)
Re:Calculus Carols (Score:2, Funny)
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
(To:"Oh, Christmas Tree")
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
How tough are both your branches.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
To pass, what are my chances?
Derivatives I cannot take,
At integrals my fingers shake.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
How tough are both your branches.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
Your theorems I can't master.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
My proofs are a disaster.
You pull a trick our of the air,
Or find a reason, God knows where.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
Your theorems I can't master.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
Your problems do distress me.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
Related rates depress me.
I walk toward lampposts in my sleep,
And running water makes me weep.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
Your problems do distress me.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
For mercy I'm beseeching.
My grades do not approach B,
They're just an epsilon from D.
Oh, Calculus; Oh Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.
Fill the boards with Differentials
(To:"Deck the Halls")
Fill the boards with differentials,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Note that du's are essential,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
C's are constants here before us,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Integration cannot floor us
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Quizzes always make us queasy,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Max and mins are never easy,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Conic volumes we can measure,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA,
Fours and fives we'll always treasure,
FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA -LA-LA-LA-LA
You know, you might want to mod this one down too.