Douglas Adams Answers (Finally)

I've gotten lots of e-mail asking, "Where are Douglas Adams' answers to our questions? Has he forgotten us?" Obviously, no one was forgotten, but the man had a screenplay on deadline and had to work, work, work. Yes, if we had a hall of fame category for "Longest time between interview questions and responses to them," this one would be #1, but it was worth waiting for. Obviously there was never any cause for panic, but all true Douglas Adams fans already knew that, right?

Relationship to Terry Pratchett?
(Score:5, Interesting)
by Enoch Root

One author who is often compared to you in terms of style and humor is Terry Pratchett of Discworld fame. What is your opinion of Pratchett's work? Do you agree or disagree with the comparisons between your works?

DA:

I can't really answer this one. I've never read anything by Terry Pratchett.

God Exists
(Score:5, Interesting)
by bfree

Did you endorse the use of "Babelfish" by AltaVista or did you consider trying to prevent them from using the word as they are far from proving that God does not exist?

DA:

We are working on developing all sorts of cross-promotional opportunities between AltaVista and h2g2.com. Does that answer the question?

Modern Culture as silly as the one in HHGTtG?
(Score:5, Interesting)
by SoupIsGood Food

In the HHGTtG series, you deal with a culture accustomed to instantaneous access to hip information -and- time-travel. It seemed to spiral in on itself, with time being as inconsequential a barrier to getting the best possible parties that geography is in the age of highways and jets.

In the contested twilight of the 20th century, we can go out on any given weekend, and find people dressed up in zoot-suits swing dancing, decked out in bell-bottoms at a disco, and rushing about outdoors attired in the shining armor of medieval knights, whacking each other with sticks.

Has the Internet and recursive nostalgia brought us to a point where modern culture is every inch as silly and fractal as the one you created?

Also: I have the phrase "Don't Panic!" marching cheerily across my web-access cell phone's display when not in use. Did you expect to see the technology you envisioned with "The Guide" come to pass in your lifetime? Are you terrified someone might come up with an infinite improbability drive sometime before dinner?

DA:

You obviously go to better parties than I do.

Comedy....or Tragedy?
(Score:5, Interesting)
by FascDot Killed My Pr

First, a big thank-you. You've made a lasting contribution to "our" culture (or should that be "culture"?)

I first read HGttG in my early teens. I doubled over laughing the whole time. I read and reread the entire series, bought both Dirk Gently books AND Last Chance to See. Loved them all and wouldn't trade having read them for anything. (btw, the first mental ward scene in Long Dark Teatime is a no-foolin', all-time classic.)

However, a few years ago I was talking to a (then) classmate. Very smart, philosophy-major type. He said (paraphrased) "I thought that HGttG was depressing. Such nihilism." At the time I thought "Hmmm...I didn't SEE a black beret on his head....". But every reading of the series since then his comment has struck me as more true--especially in the case of Arthur Dent. In fact, far from being funny, I now find Dent's character depressing--he's not just a loser, he literally has no control over his life at all (except in So Long for a while). And the control he does have does him no good (e.g. Earth is destroyed while he's trying to save his house.)

So my question is: When you were writing these books did you feel you were being gaily whimsical or did you instead feel frustrated and cynical?

DA:

I suspect there is a cultural divide at work here. In England our heroes tend to be characters who either have, or come to realise that they have, no control over their lives whatsoever Pilgrim, Gulliver, Hamlet, Paul Pennyfeather (from Decline and Fall) Tony Last (from A Handful of Dust). We celebrate our defeats and our withdrawals the Battle of Hastings, Dunkirk, almost any given test match. There was a wonderful book published, oh, about twenty years ago I think, by Stephen Pile called the Book of Heroic Failures. It was staggeringly huge bestseller in England and sank with heroic lack of trace in the U.S. Stephen explained this to me by saying that you cannot make jokes about failure in the States. It's like cancer, it just isn't funny at any level. In England, though, for some reason it's the thing we love most. So Arthur may not seem like much of a hero to Americans he doesn't have any stock options, he doesn't have anything to exchange high fives about round the water-cooler. But to the English, he is a hero. Terrible things happen to him, he complains about it a bit quite articulately, so we can really feel it along with him - then calms down and has a cup of tea. My kind of guy!

I've hit a certain amount of difficulty over the years in explaining this in Hollywood. I'm often asked 'Yes, but what are his goals?' to which I can only respond, well, I think he'd just like all this to stop, really. It's been a hard sell. I rather miss David Vogel from the film process. He's the studio executive at Disney who was in charge of the project for a while, but has since departed. There was a big meeting at one time to discuss, amongst other things, Arthur's heroicness or lack of it. David suddenly asked me 'Does Arthur's presence in the proceedings make a difference to the way things turn out?' to which I said, slightly puzzled, 'Well, yes.' David smiled and said 'Good. Then he's a hero.'

In the current, latest version of the screenplay, I think that Arthur's non-heroic heroism is now absolutely preserved, and I'm pleased with the way he works out.

In respect of the screenplay, I'd just mention a couple of things. I finished and delivered this new draft last week, and it's suddenly really working in a way that no previous version really did. It's a very hard circle to square that it should on the one hand be true to the spirit of Hitchhiker, and that on the other hand it should work as a structured movie with a beginning, a middle and an end, and character motivation and so on. Well, I think we've finally got there, after all these years. The other thing I want to touch on is this. There was a bit of a commotion on the Web last month about a version of the screenplay that got leaked, and which people didn't like very much. There is a whole story to be told about that script and the role it played in the politics of the development process, but now is not the time and maybe there won't ever be a time. But it wasn't my script and bears very little relation to any script of mine. The new script is my script and I'm extremely pleased with it.

Interconnectedness of all things.
(Score:5, Funny)
by Spud the Ninja

Dear Mr. Adams.

While the Hitchhikers' Guide trilogy is very good (I own a copy of the omnibus), I couldn't help but notice that it has 5 (five) parts. For this reason, I enjoy the Dirk Gently books greatly. My question is this:

What is your favourite type of cheese for cucumber, tomato and onion sandwiches on a nice French bread?

DA:

Cheddar.

Thursdays...
(Score:5, Interesting)
by MosesJones

There was a Radio Series, a TV series, the books... but no film. What stopped Zaphod becoming the most self-centred person in Hollywood?

DA:

My answer above will throw some light on this. But there are some other points. The story started on radio. And while radio and cinema are both extremely visual media (yes, I meant to say that) the way in which they each create pictures is very different. Sound is very important to both of them, but on radio you create pictures with words, and in cinema you create them with cameras. Translating between the two of them is a big stretch. (TV is the worst of both worlds. It's not as good at words as radio is because the pictures are a distraction which demand attention, and it's not as good as cinema because the pictures are not nearly as good.) However, I think we are now well on the way to solving these problems, and I hope that the movie will work out just great. I am very much looking forward to working with Jay Roach, whom I feel very fortunate to have fallen in with.

Interesting Music Software
(Score:5, Interesting)
by weston

In Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, the character Richard MacDuff is obsessed with mapping natural processes into music. I really enjoyed this book; not only was it fun to read, it started me thinking about the relationship between math and music when I was a wee lad of 16 (and I still think it's the sort of thing that might be stimulating to young minds; I gave out the fictional essay "Music and Fractal Landscapes" to my high school students this last semester, and some of them took to the ideas. Some of them thought I was a jerk, though).

But my question is: are there any music composition software packages/languages/environments that you find interesting? Anything that Richard MacDuff would find fascinating?

DA:

There's one particular package that I bought and found very promising, though I have to confess that I never found the time to climb its steep learning curve. It's called MAX, and it's a high level object oriented music programming language. You can find information about it at www.opcode.com/products/max/.

Distributing copyrighted media over the internet
(Score:5, Interesting)
by Cycon

As someone whose writing talent and sense of humor many of us in the Slashdot community have come to admire and respect, could you explain to us your stance on some of the current issues regarding distributing copyrighted material over the Internet?

For instance, the original BBC recordings of The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy have made frequent appearances on various pirate music sites, and they show up frequently in searches on Napster. What are your feelings on this sort of thing? Also, although I'm not aware of it happening currently, how do you think you might react to discovering that some of your various novels were being traded online?

Finally, many of us feel that the issue revolves around one of availability - for instance, if I knew that I could purchase digital recordings of the original HGTTG broadcast over the internet, I would be happy to do so, but as far as I am aware, such a distribution scheme is not currently available. Do you think that this is merely a cut-and-dry issue of intellectual property theft, or do you feel that issues such as these point out that maybe it is time for the publishing industries of these various forms of media need to redefine the way they do business?

DA:

I don't think the issues are cut and dried at all, and I think that we will see new models emerge. I don't think any of us can really predict exactly how they will work, but I do think that any model which fundamentally prevents people getting something they want is going to fail. We shouldn't be trying to prevent copying, just trying to make sure that the creator of the copyright gets something for his or her work when it happens.

However, under the current state of copyright law, copyright holders are obliged to protect their rights aggressively, or lose the right to protect them at all. That's why you'll often see people (such as me) whose natural instinct is to be a little flexible and forgiving in this area having instead to take a tough stand.

In fact, there is a very simple way of getting hold of digital recordings of the original Hitchhiker BBC broadcasts. We sell the CDs off my Web site, at shop.douglasadams.com.

Is Radio Drama Dead, or Can the Internet Save It?
(Score:5, Interesting)
by Cy Guy

The Hitch Hiker's Guide is probably the most well-known, if not the only known radio drama to gen-Xrs in the U.S. Do you think that given the vast array of media available today the Radio Drama as an art form is dead? Or do you think it can survive as Internet based streaming audio because the audience can listen to it at a time and place that is convenient to them, and there is a revenue model that works for U.S. listeners?

DA:

I think that radio is a great dramatic art form. In the UK it never has died, though obviously it has fewer listeners than it did before TV came along. I'd love to see it gain a new lease of life on the Internet, and I strongly feel that one of the things that might drive this is if the BBC created dozens and dozens of streaming channels and started to pump out all of the radio drama and comedy they have had sitting in their vaults for decades. They could do it on a very cheap subscription basis, and I guarantee you that there are lots of absolute gems sitting there. And a lot of dross as well, of course but there's nothing better for promoting creativity in a medium than making an audience feel "Hmm I could do better than that!'

How do you feel...
(Score:5, Interesting)
by Wah

....about predicting the Internet?

My mental image of the the Guide (outside of the Don't Panic sticker) was a laptop computer with high speed access. The big hint was when you said (paraphrased) "The Guide contains vast amount of information on every conceivable concept, much of it completely erroneous or actively dangerous." That's about the best description of the Net I've seen, and it came about before the thing was mainstream. I guess my question is, Have you ever thought of it that way? Do you like turkey? And what's the deal with Smithers?

DA:

Yes, the Web/net is a bit like that. And I think the reason it's like that is that it is essentially just people talking to each other.

I think that turkey is just big, bland, dry chicken.

I've consulted my lawyer and I have no deal with Smithers.

The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster
(Score:5, Funny)
by phossie

What is the origin of the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, and how would you make one on Earth?

I need to know.

DA:

Unfortunately there are a number of environmental and weapons treaties and laws of physics which prevent one being mixed on Earth. Sorry.

---------------------------------

Wow.

What a cool interview. I think he must have had his pet mice :) write it for him.

Mods, if you haven't read his books and don't know that mice are the smartest creatures on Earth, don't mod me down :)...

No, seriously though. It's a great interview. It's nice to see someone put so much thought and effort into one of these. Definately worth the wait. I think I'll even go out and buy another one of his books today.

kwsNI

the damn dolphins

DAMN IT. I was hoping he would tell us how the hell the dolphins got off planet earth before it was destroyed by the vogons to make a hyperspace bypass

I was hoping to employ the same technique to get out of work for a coupla days


==============================
http://www.geek-ware.co.uk

Radio is not dead in the US

National public radio, and Public Radio International have amazing shows... All Things Considered and Morning Edition on NPR are *by far* better than most TV news shows I know of... and programs like A Prairie Home Companion [mpr.org] illustrate quality culture in radio that I wouldn't miss.

----

Max!

Max is no longer sold or maintained by Opcode, which has been absorbed into the Giant Sucking Sound that is Gibson, Inc. Instead, David Zicarelli, one of the original developers of the application, has re-taken control of the software. Downloads, information, pricing and ordering stuff can be found at Cycling '74 [cycling74.com].

Also, there's a fantastic DSP addon to Max called MSP, which manipulates waveforms and ADSR info the same way Max manipulates MIDI information. This is the multimedia development environment of the future. Share the joy!

wug

Intergalactic Police

There's a certain dry quality to some of DNA's answer's, isn't there? Reminds me of a section I enjoyed in Neil Gaimain's (I think) book about the HHGTTG series: it had some fan mail Adams had received, especially letters with a lot of questions in, together with his replies. The one that sticks in the memory went:

Q. Have you ever been contacted by the intergalactic police concerning the whereabouts of Zaphod Beeblebrox?

A. No. They are fictional characters.

No? Oh well, I thought it was funny.

--

Shitty Logic and Penguin Power!

(1) Douglas Adams cares about fish. "So Long, and Thanks for All The Fish"
(2) Penguins like fish.
(3) Linux mascot is a penguin.
(4) Therfore, Linux likes fish.
(5) Damn, that's not it.
(6) Therefore, Douglass Adams cares about responding quickly to our questions.
(7) No, That's not it.
(8) Penguins like Linux. That's it.
(9) Uh, no, you idiot. That's not the answer.
(10) What is the Answer?
(42) This space left intentionally blank.

Lost opportunity

If you go back to the /. archive of when the questions were asked, there were probably about two dozen people that asked "what is your next book likely to be, and is it coming anytime soon?"

Since the mod points were split up between them, none of them rose as high as the question about his favorite cheese.

There were several other really good potential questions, but instead we get two questions about the same upcoming film. Alas.

Perhaps the method of moderating and selecting /. interview questions should be re-examined.

What happened to Dr. Who?

How can you have a Douglas Adams Q and A and not cover his time as a writer for Dr. Who? Such as how much his was responsible for Tom Baker's jokes. Such as the Zoroastrian elements. Such as how much working on the show influenced him. Et cetera.

Boo

I had hoped he'd answer my question about what influence the writings of Lewis Carroll had on him. It had gotten modded up to +5, but perhaps it contained one-too-many references to 42 and got unilaterally rejected on those grounds.

If anyone knows the answer, please speak up. This one's bothered me for the last decade or so.

The trade in novels

Also, although I'm not aware of it happening currently, how do you think you might react to discovering that some of your various novels were being traded online?

I think the trade in novels online was just waiting for a vessel to carry it, and with palm pilots now shipping with up to 8M of ram, the opening has presented itself. Check out this site:

http://chroot.ath.cx/fade/pro jects/palm/palmtext.html [chroot.ath.cx]

which for better or for worse, has all five books of the hitchhiker trilogy in iSilo (reader software for palmpilot) and ascii format. I think it would be really great if DA could stick to his "more lenient side" and not take a hard line on things like this, they really are great for reading on the subway - but at very least, the site seems topical.

J.

PS - Without meaning to flame, bitch, or otherwise irritate people, I had expected... I dunno... more, from DA. Am I the only one who felt that the only questions that got more than three words were the ones promoting the movie or his website(s)? No disrespect intended, the man has 7 times the genius in his pinky that I have along my entire left side, but...shrug... I was expecting more.

humor

DA's contrast between american and english humor was interesting - I've never seen the "failure" take on it before, although it works quite well.

In even the worst american humor (Jim Carey, in my opinion) the protagonist accomplishes something.. There is catharsis, the impression that he has done something.

While not all British humor centers around failure, it is certainly present. If you think about MP's "Holy Grail", the knights of the round table are certainly failures.. Sir Robin, the brave? ".. He bravely ran away...".. And riding pretend horses while banging coconuts.. these guys are complete losers..

I've always found english humor much better than american humor, but then people here have always thought i was strange, too.

wish
---

All Yesterday's Parties Tomorrow.

<em>You obviously go to better parties than I do. </em>

I'm a reclusive misanthropist, I don't go to parties. There is a startlingly profound difference between "go to" and "somehow wind up at".

SoupIsGood Food

Re:the damn dolphins

Read So Long and Thanks for the Fish again. They found a planet clos to earth in another dimension, and being smarter than us, went there.

They then, kindly enough, did exactly the same thing to the human race. But, knowing the human race like they did, they quite rightly sent humans to a different planet than they went to.

The real question is what happened to the mice.

It takes just a *little* reading between the lines, but not a heck of a lot.

he's got a point about the BBC

they must have an unimaginable amount of radio material from their history (assuming it hasn't been tossed out as with the Dr. Who debacle), and I for one wouldn't mind hearing it streamed via RealPlayer/QuickTime/whatever.

I probably wouldn't want to pay to subscribe to it, though. And how likely is the Beeb to do such a thing for free, coming from a land where license fees for radios and TVs help make up their operating budget?

(note: that's not a rhetorical question.)

Disapointed on the pratchett answer

I'm a crossover Adams/Pratchett fan muself, and I was pretty put off by his (lack of) answer to that question. Even if he really hasn't read any of the other author's work, he could have said something, even if it was only "Americans think we're the same because we're both british humour writers, but there are actually many differences in narrative style." Or, "he sucks because he's selling more new books."

The non-answer almost made me think that maybe he's jealous of Pratchett's current surge in popularity, and I'm getting sick of my favorite authors turning out to be petty dicks as people (JMS, James Randi, the guy who wrote West SIde Story... Stephen King had a short story about the phenomenon.) I would have rather had something more definitly positive or negitive of the Pratchett comparison, if not the books themselves.

-Kahuna Burger

Re:Radio is not dead in the US

In fact, it's really not dead. For a program which looks at American culture in an off-beat way which many Douglas Adams fans (and people who like the stranger things in life) would appreciate, check out This American Life. [thislife.org]

You won't be disappointed.

Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blaster

Actually, in the mid 80's there was an O'Charlie's restaurant in Nashville that made a drink called a "Pan-galactic Gargle-Blaster" in honor of the HHG series. They even had a (unofficial) contest going on who drank the most. We got into some serious trouble one night when I tied the previous record (5) and a friend beat it with 6. Ever see anyone do a slow-motion sideways fall from a high barstool? At least it seemed slow-motion to me at that time! :-)

I think some of the people I hung out with at the time snarfed the drink recipe, but I wouldn't have a clue where it is now.... :-(

Re:Homer Simpson's a failure - and still on TV

I disagree with you that Homer is actually a failure, at least in the same sense that Douglas Adams is speaking of. Sure, Homer is definitely a bit dim-witted, lazy, and pretty much everything else that would and/or should lead someone to being a dismal failure. Yet despite, or maybe due to the overabundance, of these traits he actually succeeds. His brief, but semi-successful singing career, his stint as an astronaut, his boxing breakthrough, and nearly every other misadventure of Homer's are really things that we envision "successful" people doing. I think it is probably that mix of the stereotypical traits of a failure with the fruits of success that gives Homer his appeal.

Over-analyzing the Simpsons....

Re:Failure in the US

In the US, failures are only funny when there's either slapstick going on, or it's a comedy of errors; But very nearly every movie in the US has a happy ending, so any failures along the way are just plot complications.

There's a movie containing Michael Douglas called Falling Down [imdb.com] which I have not seen, but am told is just a movie about a guy having about as bad a day as you can possibly experience without being in a POW camp someplace. In essence, it's a story about a kind of failure... So I wouldn't say there are no examples of movies about Failure in the US, but then, I don't know how the movie ends, either.

I do know that people who post spoilers are bad, however, and being naughty in my sight, they shall snuff it.

In any case, America is an extremely young nation with very little history of its own, even as compared to England. Let's face it, we only go back a couple hundred years. We're sensitive about our failures in the same way that a boy just past puberty is insecure about his sexual orientation; History speaks for itself, but we (as a nation, not individuals necessarily) still get defensive when someone brings up something embarrassing. Remember the Alamo?

Drew Carey!

I think Drew Carey covers the antihero thing pretty well: An overweight geek with huge Buddy Holly glasses who has been in the same job for ten+ years.

I enjoy seeing him fail. His character was promoted temporarily, but from the second it happened I enjoyed waiting for him to plummet back to where he was before. The show is supposed to be about a loser and his three loser friends.

Re:Wow.

Mods, if you haven't read his books and don't know that mice are the smartest creatures on Earth

Hm, so they must just be letting us THINK that we made them smarter... [slashdot.org]. Ingenious.

-- Dr. Eldarion --

Obligatory jMax post

Since he mentioned MAX, I feel that I should post a reminder that while MAX is a commercial program for MacOS, you can get jMax, the descendent, free for Linux and SGI.

You need the JDK, Swing, and libaudiofile (probably have that anyway) to compile it. Everything but Swing can be found in packages (at least, for Debian), and Swing is also free (beer).

What is it? Well, it's a programming language for music. You can either do it textually or graphically. What you do is create little modules, and link them together via "patch cables". Each module could be a slider, wah-wah, sine generator, or whatever. It also allows for time-programmed events. Once linked together, you can then "run" this "program" to produce sound.

I've only just gotten time to start with it in the past few days, but as someone who's been doing music for years, it's truly incredible to me. And I also like the fact that it's one app Linux has that Windows doesn't :)

ps: Aphex Twin uses MAX. If you haven't listened to his stuff, do so immediatly.

English stoicism

So Arthur may not seem like much of a hero to Americans he doesn't have any stock options, he doesn't have anything to exchange high fives about round the water-cooler. But to the English, he is a hero. Terrible things happen to him, he complains about it a bit quite articulately, so we can really feel it along with him - then calms down and has a cup of tea. My kind of guy!


He's right about English culture, you know. In the immortal words of Floyd:

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say.

Re:Not sure if anyone has seen this...

Doug has expressed in the past how much he hates that green guy, which was invented by his American publishers. A fitting end for the green guy, I guess.
--
No more e-mail address game - see my user info. Time for revenge.

Re:DISNEY??!?

Last I heard, the movie was being made by Miramax, which is a division of Disney, but it's also the same division that made Pulp Fiction. That might put things in perspective.
--
No more e-mail address game - see my user info. Time for revenge.

Cuppy, "The Decline&Fall of Practically Everybody"

I wonder if Douglas Adams had read the book The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody by Will Cuppy?

The book consists of a series of essays on well-known figures of history, with the main text giving the (usually) straight dope and the many, many footnotes (a Cuppy trademark) making fun of it all. Underneath the footnote humor was a wonderful set of irreverent observations, some of which struck me as fodder for master thesis topics for historian candidates.

Failure, presented in a funny way.

As I recall, the book was on the USA best-seller list for weeks. I didn't see it until much later (in paperback). If my history classes had been taught in this way, I might have been hooked on history instead of bits.

Interesting dichotomy....

When Metallica is slow to answer, Slashdot runs a snitty article [slashdot.org] complaining about it.

When Mr. Adams is even slower to answer, Slashdot takes this "that's-ok-we-know-you're-busy" stance.

Hmmn. Double Standard? Editorial Spin?

Or maybe it's just that putting out a "Douglas Adams slow to answer" article won't generate the same amount of controversy (read: thousand$ of ad banner impre$$ion$) as anything about Metallica?

In either case, it seems Slashdot's description would more correctly be "Strong Opinions from Editor Nerds. Stuff that we think matters."


--

Re:Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blaster

I have the recipe. I'll sell it to you for $250, which includes the recipe for Nieman-Marcus chocolate-chip cookies.

Not to mention...

The incredible failure of Brian in "Life of Brian".
He has no control over his life, being chased
around, and eventually get crusified.
His whole life was a failure.
Even at birth, when he was first mistakenly
taken for Jesus Christ.
I find this extraordinarily funny.. but then
I'm european.

Brazil's multiple personalities

Brazil had two completely different endings. (I'm just going to presume that you've seen at least one version).

In the (hollywood) producer's cut, our hero makes it out of the city and goes off with his love into a bright new future.

In the director's cut, that turns out to have been a terminal fantasy, generated as his (former friend) captor interrogates him into oblivion.

The producers cut (which, as I understand it, pretty much consists of cutting the very last scene) would probably end up feeling like serious deus-ex-machina to the discerning viewer. Actually, I would expect the reaction to be like: "Great movie, but WTF was it with that strange ending?" The director's cut -- while far more dark -- makes complete sense of the fantasy scene"

The critic's view of thing is that the Hollywood producers were far more interested in the 'happy' ending than they were with having the ending make any sense in what was otherwise a brilliantly dark movie.

.............

I would actually say much the same thing of the ending to American Beauty. the "Gee, I'm almost happy that that macho coward blew my brains out" monologue almost made me sick. I would have been much happier with something like:

Well, I guess that it would be an understatement to say that the day didn't really end the way that I anticipated. At least he didn't catch me in the middle of jerking off.... By the way: If you're interested, after a 6 week trial, he got off on a temporary insanity plea. Not that it made much difference. 8 weeks later, he blew his own brains out in the local military cemetary.

Now, my daughter and her new husband live right next door to my widowed wife -- who took up with Mr. King until he dumped her for telling him that she was pregnant. Personally, I think that she should have just had an abortion and kept on bonking him. In any case, I guess that that's as close to a happy ending as I could have hoped for.

--

Re:Max!

There is also a GPL version of Max written in Java called jMax. This was posted on /. [slashdot.org] a while ago.

Re:Boo

From page 5 of "Don't Panic":

Of Alice in Wonderland, often cited as an influence, he says, "I read - or rather, had read to me - Alice in Wonderland as a child and I hated it. It really frightened me. Some months ago, I tried to go back to it and read a few pages, and thought, 'This is jolly good stuff, but still...' If it wasn't for that slightly nightmarish quality that I remember as a kid I'd've enjoyed it, but I couldn't shake that feeling. So although people like to suggest that Carroll was a big influence - using the number 42 and all that - he really was not."