Imagine if trolltalk held an annual party so we could all get together and have a few drinks and a couple of laughs. It would probably go something like this:The party is due to start at 7pm but 6 anonymous cowards show up at 4:30pm screaming "FIRST PSOT" and "fr0st piss" as they scramble for the punch bowl to see who can spit in it first.
The Trolltalk shitter goes around asking for peoples business cards - he then rushes to the bathroom, shits on them and pins them up on the "For Sale" noticeboard.
The mad poster is busily running around writing notes, signing peoples scrapbooks, shouting and yelling with total enthusiasm. His pen runs out of ink half way through the night and he resorts to writing notes on his PDA.
Vlad shows up and farts loudly - he is asked to leave.
Slashpanda shows up but it refused entry at the door by the bouncers.
Ensign Mousecatur is seen at the salad bar stealing bits of lettuce and cheese for his caged rodent, which is not hungry having already chewed through 14 printouts of cracky chan.
The Trolltalk archiver is extremely busy writing down everything that everyone says and then trying to code it into a Perl webpage - he eventually gives up and reverts to using COBOL instead.
Finally, the party starts to liven up when the DDR guy shows up and begins a brilliant dance session. The other people laugh so hard that they almost shit themselves. The DDR guy storms out in disgust.
In a hurry to get to the party on time (before the AC's turn the punch bowl into a spitton), Ephebo Panda shows up dressed in his FBI uniform complete with badge and gun. He has been undercover for 3 years, but after a few drinks he reveals that the sting had finished 2.5 years ago and he continued to research and post teenage girls 'for research purposes'
Trouble almost starts when a gang of GNAA members show up dressed to kill in pink matching scarves. They are laughed out of the party when the others see that they are just a bunch of skinny 13 year old white males.
In a suprising state of affiars - the 'KILL ALL MUSLIMS' guy is an Islamic priest, the AC's posting 'i hate niggers' are all black, and the 'I hate Jews' guys are all hebrew. Everyone has a hearty laugh and how ironic this is, and then they laugh further at their lack of understanding of the word 'irony'
A series of limosines shows up bearing many seasoned trolls such as Trollaxor, The WIPO Troll, ringbarer, YourMissionForToday, Adolf Hitroll, Luke727, FuckyTheTroll, and many others. They are extremely rich having received a large anonymous payment [Microsoft?] for their years of dedication to persistantly trolling slashdot. A large gathering forms, pestering them for details on how to get rich on trolling, but they respond quickly with vicious personal attacks and the noobs soon back down.
The corpse of Klerk is exhumed from his gravesite and tied to a large round pillar - a postit note is placed on his forehead saying "I like wide posts"
After several ginger ales, tempers begin to flare and by 10pm a massive fight breaks out between the Mercatur and the Cracky Chan fanboys. It is instantly halted when 2 plasma screens are quickly setup and the girls photos are displayed. Each group sits down quietly at their respective heroines image and begins masturbating furiously.
Overall the evening was a resounding success and everyone had a great time, even though anytime someone said anything everyone else responsed with "NO YUO", and *crickets chirping* and 'Copy and Paste from some LiveJournal, eh?'.
The_Fire_Horse wanted to go to the party, but he was IP banned and too fucking stupid to work out how to use anonymous proxies, so he spent the entire evening outside the party holding sign saying "DONT FORGET - Fri, April 1st is TROLL REUNITING DAY" and writing lame posts such as this one.
