The_Fire_Horse's Journal: Toilet Humour - a Trolls perspective

There you are happily typing away funny and insightful comments onto your fav. website, when suddenly nature calls and you have to go and shit. You dont want to stop as you are 'in the zone' and your creative juices are flowing. How can you keep your trolling flowing?

Hi , I'm The_Fire_Horse and you might remember me from such posts as
"Advanced Bottom wiping for Liberals", and
"Republicans guide to shitting on others"

Todays article discusses what a troll can do to 'keep inspired' when visiting the powder room.

1. Engage in conversion with anyone in the toilet.
This is incredibly offputting but you will find that people are never rude or aggresive, no matter how much you annoy and pester them (who wants to fight in the toilet?)

2. Compare penis sizes.
If yours is bigger - laugh at the other guy
If yours is smaller - accuse him of 'wanking' to rig the competition.

3. The Fake exit
You are in a stall and there is someone else in another stall, but no one wants to shit first. Quickly finish your business, wash your hands (optional) and open the door to leave, but stay inside the main toilet area. The other person thinks you've left, so *quietly* move close to their stall, and as soon as you hear the sound of poo hitting the water, you smack his stall hard with your hand and yell "HAVING A NICE SHIT IN THERE, ARE YOU?
You will be rewarded with an explosive fart and a startled yelp.

4. The suprise window (needs preparation and woodwork skills)
Find a toilet where the stalls are facing each other, and carefully remove a 1 metre square area of the wall separating the 2 stalls.
Fix handles to one side of the stall (yours) and place the cutout wood section back into the wall. Lightly secure using paper mache and paint so that it looks like a solid wall.
You now wait in the stall with the handles until someone gets into the opposite stall. You have gone through a lot of work to get this prank going, so dont blow it too early. Start by asking them questions "Hows your day going", and "See the baseball scores last night". They will answer short and curtly and will make no effort to engage in conversation. This is when you rip out the fake wall and you are both left sitting there staring at each other while taking a shit. Smile broadly and say "BET YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THIS, EH?"

5. The Wanker
Masturbate. Loudly. Wait until you are about to climax, and then let the door 'accidently' fly open and look horrified.