Well, you're right that "phobia" isn't really the best term. They're not scared, they're just assholes.
Wikipedia says "A phobia (from the Greek: ÏÏOEÎÎÏ, Phobos, meaning "fear" or "morbid fear") is, when used in the context of clinical psychology, a type of anxiety disorder". Most homophobes aren't afraid of homosexuals, but they are disturbed by them which makes "homophobe" a perfectly fitting description.
Personally, I don't want anyone shoving their sexuality in my face, whether homo or hetero. Your sexuality is none of my fucking business and I don't want to hear about it unless you're a lesbian and I'm hitting on you; I don't want to be offensive and it would be offensive of me to knowingly hit on a lesbian.
"Bigot" might be a better term
Webster's:
Full Definition of BIGOT
: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance
"Bigot" is a perfect description.